So, I'm trying to be a grown-up and its not working out very well

I am not a big drinker. If I drink anything at all, it is usually a girly mixed drink. And yet I realize that to be social--especially in field I am planning to enter--I must learn to drink something a little less fruity. At the prof's soiree last weekend I was offered wine. Knowing that I have never liked red wine, but I have been ok with very cheap and fruity white wines, I opted for the white. Although it was neither cheap nor especially fruity, it was ok. I noted that it was a pinot grigio (although I'm not sure of the winemaker), so that I would have something to spout off next time I had to order a drink. (I already suffered a rather embarrassing episode this summer when I went out for beers with fellow interns and the judge I was working for and I didn't have a clue what beer to order. )

So...today I was shopping in SuperTarget and happened down the wine aisle. Since I now had the name of a kind of wine I could stand, I thought I'd buy a bottle, so that hubby and I could experiment a little (with the wine, you sicko!) Now, even SuperTarger has about 10-15 varieties of pino grigios, so how else was I to decide but by the label? I picked one with a cute label, but noted that it had a screw-top, and even I know that good wine must be corked. But still, I don't even own a corkscrew and the label was cute--and it said it tasted just like biting into a fresh pear--so I decided to give it a try.

This stuff is terrible! Blech! I can barely stand to smell it, much less actually drink it. Maybe it was the screw top. Maybe I am still not a wine drinker. Maybe I should stick to bottled water at social events, because at 31 with a mortgage and three kids I am a grown-up whether or not I drink wine.

The Good, The Bad and The Beautiful

The Good
We did cross examinations in Trial Ad this week and my prof. (a federal judge) said that mine was the best of the class and that I was convincing as an experienced trial attorney.

The Bad
We got the rankings back on the negotiations that we did last week in Negotiations. I thought I did ok. I was wrong. I was 12 out of 16. I guess the good news is that if I can't settle my cases, I can take them to trial and make them wish they had settled instead of suffering my kick ass cross.

The Beautiful
Last evening, a professor invited the students from his class to a get together at his home. His house was amazing, the centerpiece the most grand private library I have ever seen. The library was two levels, with the upper looking down on the lower, and it had to be at least half the size of my entire 2700 sq. ft. home. Although the rest of the house was beautiful too, nothing could compare to the library.

The Curse Continues

Yesterday the car went kaput on DH when he was driving in to work. It's still under warranty, so the dealership towed it in, but they are not getting in any hurry diagnosing or fixing the problem. In the meantime, we are trying to manage on one car. This is not an easy task, since we live way out in the 'burbs and work/go to school in the city.

To make matters worse, the nanny called in sick today. That pretty much leaves me missing my morning classes and will take some rather inconvenient maneuvering so that I can take the car to my evening class tonight. DH will have to leave work early again. I'm sure that soon his boss is gong to decide that he is just making stuff up and there is no way that this many bad things could happen to one person. Also, if the nanny is still sick tomorrow, DH will have to deal with the kids because I have two classes that I absolutely can't miss.

I'm beginning to understand why law firms don't want to hire somebody with kids. I usually manage a pretty good balance of law school and home life, but for the past month all of the sickness (and now car troubles) are beating the crap out of us.

Onions and Pickles and Chicken, oh my

My PR class had a required make-up during the lunch hour today. Because its during lunch, we are free to bring lunch into the classroom. That's fine, I understand, ya gotta eat. But when you are in a room with 60 people, do you really need the smelliest stuff you can find?

The guy who sits next me had apparently just polished off what could only have been an onion sandwich, judging by the odious fumes still hanging in the air. To improve the situation, he next chowed down on an enormous dill pickle. Now we all got to enjoy onion + garlic. Just as this is all beginning to pass, the girl who sits in front of me bring in a chicken sandwich, and the room fills with the scent of chicken. For the record, chicken sandwiches only smell good to the person who are about to eat them.

For those of you (as if there are actually those (plural) who are reading this) who don't already know this, Don't Bring Smelly Food into Rooms Full Of People Who Are Not Also Eating Equally Smelly Food. A sandwich, piece of fruit, candy bar, even cookies (unless freshly banked and still aromatic) are all appropriate for a lunch time make-up. Smelly sandwiches, pickles, burnt popcorn (prior experience) are not.

Oh, and just to clear my conscience, DH and I once sneaked chicken nuggets and fries into a movie theater. 30 seconds later, we realized everyone around us could smell it and we felt really guilty and never did it again. It was very bad manners. (We won't even get into the legality/morals of sneaking food (or margaritas!) into theaters, lets just say that generally I don't have a big problem with it.)

I got an internship today

I have started to panic over my stinky grades and my prospects for a summer position, so last weekend I apend a good amount of time applying for both school year and summer jobs. By nine this morning, I got a call and had an interview scheduled for noon today. It is with the D.A.'s office, not where I live and not in the big city where my school is, but close to home.

Although, it's unpaid, this sounds like a really cool job. I will be working in the felony division, basically doing anything they can throw at me. They have encouraged me to try to get externship credit from my school and to try to get my 3d year bar card so that I can 2d chair--felony cases!! (They have already had students from other schools do this, I just have to get it approved through my school). I will actually have real responsibility and I'll get to be in court on a regular basis.

Also, all of the people there are really nice. They took me to lunch, and it wasn't so much an interview as just talking about what I was going to be doing. Very low key. And, having kids is no big deal--which has been my big problem to overcome lately.

The only cons are 1) not paid; and 2) it looks unlikely to turn into a full-time position because the office is small. But, I think the experience will definitely outweigh the cons, and I can find out if I really want to pursue a career in crim. law.

Apparently we forgot to leave a sacrifice to the God of Good Health

The pox continues. This morning oldest DD woke up at 5:30 crying because her ear hurt. A quick trip to the doc confirmed my suspicion of an ear infection.

Tonight, I was enjoying a bit of well-deserved down time watching My Date With Drew. Hubby pops in about halfway through, and after about five minutes he said "I think I'm getting another kidney stone." 30 seconds later he was writhing on the floow in pain. In about another minute, be was in the bathroom yakking his guts up because the pain was so severe. Having been through this before, I know there;s not much I can do. I brought him a pain pill and a glass of water, and he is now curled in the floor, a withered lump.

I have to honestly say that its hard to take this kidney stone thing seriously. I mean its just a teeny tiny little thing--I've seen them. I mean, for goodness' sake, I gave birth to three wriggly blobs that weighed up to eight pounds (two of them w/in two minutes of each other). DH points out that his parts don't dilate and efface. Still 8 lbs, v. 1/4 oz. It would be hard to take him seriously if he weren't so very obviously in pain. I have never seen anything knock my husband to his knees like this. Hopefully this passes soon, or this will be another very long night in a string of very long nights.

A lot of good my freakin ticket did me...

I got called on today in the class with the magic outline. One might think that this would be a good thing, having the golden ticket and all. But I got the one case in the whole freakin book that is not covered by the Outline. This book is a new edition, and apparently this particular case is not covered by the old editions.

Fortunately, I am a goody-goody and had read the case rather than depending on the Outline. Unfortunately, the prof is so accustomed to student magically spewing word for word what he wants to hear that he gets a little irritated when we don't. Here is how my day went...

"Ms. LC, can you tell us about Case?" I run down the facts, including that this is a habeas case, so P must have been in prison.

"Ms. LC, where is P" Umm, yeah--in prison 'cause this is a habeas case.

"Ms. LC, what did the Supremes do?" Dismissed, had no jurisdiction.

"Why no jurisdiction?" Congress can giveth and Congress can taketh away.

"Why can Congress take jurisdiction" Uhhhh, Article 3. At this point he looks at me like I am a complete moron.

"Where in Art. 3?" I dunno. He continues to stare at me like I am a moron, before finally getting the hint that I mean it when I say I don't know. Then he turns on the guy next to me (Mr H.). Mr. H also doesn't know, but manages to stall until he gets a helpful IM. Oh, duh. The Exceptions and Regulations clause. Why didn't I think of that? Prof goes on for a bit.

"Mr. H, where do we get statutes" Mr. H: I dunno.

"Ms. LC?" Uh, Congress passes them? I get the "well, duh, you're a moron look" again, and he moves to the guy on the other side of me who also cannot produce the exact answer prof wants, so prof rolls his eyes at all of us and gives some long nonsensical answer that I could not reproduce if my life depended on it.

Fortunately, the guy next to me asks a question that runs down the clock and gets us all off the hook.

I don't know what is up this semester. I have been called on in every class. Last semester I was called on once in all of my classes combined. Oh well, most of my profs are a bit more reasonable than this one. This felt like a reenactment of first year. ( Then again, this is a first year class, b/c I transferred the schedules between the two schools worked out so that I am taking a first year core class in the second semester of my second year. )

There is a pox upon my house

We had all just pretty much gotten over the stomach bug, when DD came down with the flu. All day Sunday, her temp kept going up, despoite all of my efforts to bring it down. When it hit 105.4, I gave in and took her to the ER. This is the second ER trip in two weeks! Fortunately, we went to the cmall local hospital and had a 1000 times better experience than we did at Big City Hospital a couple of weeks ago. Anyway, they did a flu test on her and put her on Tamiflu (which is ridiculously expensive, by the way).

So, Tuesday, as predicted, DD's twin starts showing the same symptoms. Knowing that I do not want to drag two sick kids out to the doctor's office, I asked them to call in a prescription for me. After all, her identical twin sister who exhibited identical symptoms had just been diagnosed, and we all know that the flu is highly contagious and has about a 2 day incubation period. The doc said no, they had to do a flu test on DD2. WTF? How big of a leap of logic does it take to figure out that she has the freakin flu?

On a happy note, DH sent me 2 dozen roses yesterday. They are lovely. Flowers are few and far between around her, so it was a nice surprise. He said it was a thank you for taking him to a hockey game last week. Maybe we should be going to more hockey games!

I have the golden ticket

A helpful 3L informed me of a "bible" for a particular class, and with a little help I managed to dig it up. Actually, it was publically available on a student organization's website the entire time. It is a 180 page outline of the entire class. Word. For. Word.

Apparently, the prof knows about this thing, hence no more open book exams. And yet, you can follow his lectures to the letter if you have the Bible. You'd think he would want to mix things up a bit, just to throw us off, but thus far there have been no curveballs. In fact, you can tell exactly who in the class has discovered this little treasure because their answers are always word for word what the outline says. You'd think Prof would get tired of exactly the same answer every year, but I guess he either doesn't know or doesn't care.

Although I feel somewhat guilty being in possession of someone else's outline, at this point I feel like I would be seriously disadvantaged if I didn't use it since most of the class knows about it by now. Still, its not very motivating to actually do the reading when you know all of the answers are right there in front of you.

Mothers

How do you break up with your mother?

I do not have a good relationship with either of my parents. I was unfortunate enough to be born to the two most self-centered people on the planet. Why two people so wrapped up in themselves ever chose to breed is beyond me. They called it quits when I was nine, only to subject my brother and I to and endless stream of equally self-centered, alcoholic and abusive spouses. Of course, it never crossed their minds to consider how this parade might be affecting their children. Now that I am an adult, I am not held hostage to my parents mistakes as I was as a child, and yet the need for parents who actually care is still there.

My mother has let me down in two huge ways over the last six months. As a child, I would have expected this, but now that I'm a mom myself, I simply can't fathom doing to my children what she has done to me. And so against my better judgment, and upon the advice of DH, I gave her those two chances, only to be devestatingly let down.

Since then I have been doing my best to avoid her. The 350 mile gap between us has made it easier, but I think she recently realized that I was pissed and has been calling. She finally managed to catch me today. I told her that I didn't want to speak with her, and she pushed for an explanation. When I finally gave one, she basically lied, claiming ignorance to one situation, and changing the facts of the other to fit her own perception. She is beyond taking responsibility for anything. She said to me, "you are under a huge amount of stress, with school and sick kids." No shit. All the more reason that I don't need to be dealing with her anymore. The problem is that she will continue to call and act as if nothing is wrong, and if I tell her that everything is still wrong, then she will make it my fault. And it's not. I'm beyond taking the blame. My parents can't screw up my life anymore. So, how do you break up with your self-centered, fault-shifting, pretend everything is hunky-dory mother?

Continuing our spanking theme...

I got my ass spanked by a complete stranger in the grocery store tonight. I was forced to drag the kids out to the grocery store--something I usually try to avoid at all costs. They were generally behaving like complete heathens--or maybe just children--as we made our way through the crowded store. When we are someplace crowded like that, I often tell them to line up like ducklings behind me with the oldest bring up the rear, so that others can get around us .

Anyway, the DD who was directly behind me found it completely hilarious to hit my rear as we shopped. I was just trying to get our shopping done and was generally oblivious to it. However, this old lady come walking up as I am trying to pick out a carton of eggs. She asks the girls if I am being ugly to them and if that is the reason I am getting a spanking. She then tells the girls that she will spank me for them so that I will be nice to them--and then she proceeds to do it. I was so completely stunned that I just didn't react. Even my girls were shocked--at four years old they know you just can't spank complete strangers in the middle of the grocery store.

"Elmo says if Daddy yells at me he's going to spank Daddy really hard and make him cry like a little girl." This is what 4 y.o. DD informed me this afternoon when DH was getting a bit miffed because she wouldn't get buckled into her car seat.

This is the same child who on Friday asked, "Can I please wear my bling to school?" referring to the bejeweled dog tag that she purchased at the Kiddie Jewelry store. She must always have on something sparkly or feathery or pink.

This kid is going to be trouble.

I finally have my grades. My grades were all over the board. In the end, my GPA is exactly what it was at NSG school. In fact, my GPA has been exactly the same my entire law school career. My lowest grade was higher than ever, and my highest grade was higher than ever, and yet the GPA stays the same. This might seem like a good thing, but its not. The curve at NSG school was set pretty low, so even though my GPA wasn't astounding, my rank was pretty good. Here, the curve is set much higher. Now my GPA puts me right in the middle of the pack. Actually, I think I am .07 below the curve. That sucks. The bright spot is that I got my first A in law school. Even better, it was in one of my hardest classes. And the prof who taught is a name that every lawyer in this state would recognize. And now, a few observations...

1. The classes I disliked the most were the ones I did the worst in. (Both UCC classes--blech!)
2. The class that I thought was the "easiest" is the one I did the worst in. Secured Transactions. The prof was great and made it very understandable--so why did I bomb?
3. It is always the class that I think is the easiest that I do the worst in. So, is this because I'm so off base that I don't even know how clueless I really am, or is it because the class is easy for everybody and the curve is flat?
4. I usually do well in my hardest classes--is it because I put more effort into it, or is it because the hardest classes are the most interesting.
5. My crappiness of my grades were directly porportional to the amount of writing that was required. I do my best on multiple choice tests. Apparently my writing stinks (as anyone who is reading this will agree.)

It Gets Worse.

After bringing DD home last night, she settled in and slept through the night. I can't say the same for her sisters. Apparently they caught the bug. From 2:30 on I was up every half hour with somebody who was tossing her cookies. By 5:30 I was consciously hating my husband who was peacefully sleeping in an oblivion that only a man can achieve when all three of his kids barfing their guts up.

Finally, he gets up at 6 and oldest DD fills him in on all that he missed (including the fact that I am a bit ticked off that he never heard us during the night!). She is the most cheerful sick person I have ever encountered. He heads off to work, but calls me at 10 to let me know that is is leaving to come help out and so that I can make my Trial Ad class this afternoon-fortunately, the only class I have today. I think his boss might be a little PO'd, especially after the nanny fiasco last week, but hopefully we can get over this hump and back on track.

Sucky Birthday To Me

I thought last year topped the list of suckiest birthdays of all time. I turned the dreaded 3-0 and I was spent the day barfing my guts up (and, no, I was not hung over). However, today managed to top even that, culminating with my leaving the hospital AMA.

DD started getting sick late Sunday night. I spent the night with her in the guestroom and got basically no sleep, but I didn't have any classes Monday, so it was ok. By Monday night, she seemed to be getting better, so Tuesday (today) I went to class, and assumed she would be going to school. Unfortunately, she barfed all over the sitter this morning(whom I have not fired, but probably wishes she had quit before this episode), so off to the doctor we went this afternoon. The doc said she was partly dehydrated, and since I couldn't say how much fluid DD had taken in while with the sitter this afternoon, it would be a good idea for her to get some IV fluids. The small regional hospital adjacent to the doc's office was full, so we were sent to the Big City Hosptal (BCH), which, incidently, is supposed to be one of the best hospitals in the country.

Let me just say BCH sucked. We went to a special part of the hospital like a mini-ER you can only go to on a doctor'r referral. We were there an hour before they even did an intake exam. Then they still didn't have a room, so we waited another half hour . Once we got a room, a doc finally saw us. She did the same basic exam the ped. had already done this afternoon, but this doc determined that my DD was not sick enough to warrant IV fluids. She just wanted to wait half an hour to make sure that DD kept down half a popcicle, and then we could go.

Ok, by this point I am getting pretty peeved. Why the heck did the ped. send me over here if they weren't going to do anything? Like I don't have anything better to do with my time or money. Anyway, I am grumply biding my time, and DD is snoozing, when she suddenly wake up and starts barfing the popcicle. There are no nurses to be found--no call button in the tiny closet room. I have to clean up DD, then carry her down the hall to notify someone of the situation. The desk receptionist goes to look for the doc, while I clean up the room.

Now, its not that big a deal for me to clean up after my own kid, but nobody ever asked if we needed any help or anything. In fact, I told the doc that we needed a new table covering that never appeared, so after that point, DD couldn't even lie down anymore andwas stuck sitting up in a hard back chair.

The doc informs me that despite the fact that she is not able to keep any liquids down, she is still not dehydrated enough to require fluids. I told her that she needed to come up with a proactive solution, or I was leaving right then because waiting around in the hospital was not improving the situation. She grudgingly agreed to give the IV fluids, while repeating that it was not going to solve the problem. I asked her what would solve the problem, but she couldn't really anwer that.

The doc left, presumably to put in the order for the IV fluids, and we were left waiting again. After 20 minutes, there were still no fluids, and no one had ever showed up to replace the table covering, so DD was still sitting up inthe chair and wishing (like me) that she were home. A nurse came in, and I thought that something was finally going to be done, but no, she was only taking a machine out of our room that was needed for someone else.

At that point I was fed up. I gathered up DD, and headed for the door. I did stop at the desk to pay the stinking co-pay (only so that they didn't try to come after me for theft of service or something). The desk clerk scrambled for the doc and managed to produce her in record time. I calmly explained that I was leaving because I had been there three hours and nothing whatsoever had been done to help my daughter, that I was extremely disappointed in the level of service, and that I expected more from such a highly regarded institution. Since the doc didn't seem to think my DD needed to be treated anyway, I don't think that she was too upset by my departure. She did however try to get me to sign a form stating that I was leaving AMA and releasing them of all liability. Of course I refused. She said, "then we are not discharging her." I said, "I am taking my child and we are leaving now." And we did.

I have no idea what the potential consequences are for removing a minor from a hospital AMA. I have the tiniest fear that the sheriff will come knocking at my door and drag us back there. I just couldn't imagine wasting any more time there. When I'm sick I only want to be in my own bed, and I know DD was glad to be out of that miserable place.

And just so you don't think I'm a totally irresponsible parent, we are speding the night in the guest room again so that I can keep an eye on her, and I will call my doc first thing in the morning.

I finally got one measley grade today. While I was quite relieved to see that I have not yet flunked out of New School, I am a bit disappointed to find that my grade was only average. I don't like being average, and what makes it worse is that I worked my tail off for my average grade. The only thing worse than being average is knowing that you don't know how to be better than average. (Does that sentence make sense to anybody bu me?) Anyway, I fully expect the rest of my grades to follow the average suit. I am, at least in part, blaming this on the fact that my classes sucked. Since I was a transfer, I got stuck choosing from the leftovers, and the classes I had were far from my top choices. This semester looks to be much more fun, so we'll see if I can rise above mediocre when I have classes I actually wanted to take.

Anyway, I was pretty much wallowing in my misery when a classmate from my old school IM'd me. She is not doing well...and she failed the MPRE. I tried to offer words of encouragement, but even I know her situation is not good. Bad grades from a low ranked law school do not bode well for the job seeking process. Kinda put my (one) average grade from much higher ranked school into perspective.

I am home writing my blog today instead of sitting in class. I'm a goody-goody and really do not like missing class, but my baby-sitter flaked out on me. For the third day in a row she has not shown because of car trouble. I think I am going to have to fire her. I have never had to fire anybody before, but I need reliable child care. My girls will be heartbroken, because they adore her. This is not the first problem, though. She is also supposed to be helping out with the housekeeping, which she has really been slacking off on. She has also not been fixing the girls hair every day for school. This may sound minor, but it really bugs me to pick the girls up from school to see them looking like orphans with crazy hair flying everywhere--especially when all the other little girls are fully coordinated with matching hairbows. We're in a very preppy school.

On a better note, I have my first trial ad lab session. I had to give an opening statement, then go over the video to see how bad I sucked. I wasn't totally terrible. My instructor told me that I told the story wery well, I just need to work on things like tone of voice and hand gestures. I also got a little argumentative at times, which might draw objections (although the other instructor seemed to think it was ok to push it a little bit). Overall, I think this will be a fun class.

How stupid is this? Today I was forced to pay $103.00 for a brand new 2005 edition Con Law book. About right for a new law book, huh? Here is the ridiculous part, I also had to buy a teeny tiny paperback supplement for $26!!! Hellooo??? Why the heck do I need a supplement for a brand new edition? Any why the hell should it cost $26? I have to pay because the damn publishers made mistakes--they left something out before it went to the printer, so I have to pay an extra $26 on top of the $103 to clear up their mistakes? This is without a doubt the most ridiculous thing I have yet encountered in my book purchasing endeavors. I am even PO'd at the prof chose a publisher that thinks it can get away with such garbage.

I need to find a summer job. Fall OCI did not go so well. I had about 5 big firm interviews and a couple of gov't interviews, but no bites. Some I knew were not going well about 2 minutes in. A couple of the others I though went really well, and was a little disappointed. I'm not sure if my biggest problem is that I transferred from Not So Great School (NSG) or that I'm a mom. Soon I will have (hopefully good) grades in from my new school, so that should help out the transfer student problem. The mom thing is another matter (and I strongly suspect my bigger problem.)

I need a way to clear my resume of my mom status--without outright lying. Not an easy task due to the 7 year gap when I was staying home with the kids. I have considered saying that I was in prison, since that may actually be better than telling firms that I have children. But that would violate the lying part of my goal.

I'm wondering if I could just leave all the dates off my resume. I could pass for a recent college grad, but would firms notice and wonder about the lack of dates?

One of my husband's clients who is an attorney said that I should just say that I was working from home during that time. I have, very occasionally, done research projects from home. And DH has a part-time computer consulting business that I have, very occasionally, helped out with. I suppose I could stretch that out to appear as though I was working during that time. But it feels kind of sleazy. Then again, being discriminated against for having kids really PO's.

Ok, so it's been a year and a half since my last post. Apparently once I made it through orientation, I found that I had no time to do the stupid blog. Nevertheless, I am giving it a second go round. It's my New Year's Resolution. Even if nobody else ever reads the darn thing, it would be nice to have some kind of memoir of my law school days.

So, a lot has happened since my last post. I survived the first year of law school. I managed to transfer out of Not So Great School into Better School. I kind of miss Not So Great School, but Better School will (supposedly) open many more doors. And its much closer to home.

I'm now starting the second semester of my second year. First semester of this year kinda sucked--new school, new people, boring classes. I am looking forward to next semester, though, the classes sound like much more fun.

The twins have turned four and have started acting like himan beings instead of the little monsters that drove me to law school. They are in Pre-K and love it, so my journey off to law school didn't seem to scar them too much.

That's all for now--I'll return tomorrow (hopefully).