Equal time

The Savant received the following anonymous response that he cannot confirm as legitmate and may have come from one of those "fake" Sarah Palins that seem to have taken over the web world. He publishes it with the proviso that, like everything "Sarah Palin" these days, it should be taken with a grain of salt.

How dare you imply I'm a quitter!
I have reason enough to fell bitter.
If you'd been as maligned,
You might have resigned
In order to find a good sitter.

A Titanic mistake

As Limbaugh shouts "I'm king of the conservatives!"
it's no time to be quibbling over which side of the boat you're on.

To those who support Rush's quip:
You chose to embark on this trip,
And refusal to bail
Means the captain could fail;
But you're bound to go down with the ship!

GOP Seeks Balance With Conservative Icon Limbaugh
By Perry Bacon Jr., The Washington Post, 3/4/09

del.icio.us

Octomom vs. Dr. Mindbender

This self-absorbed mother is still
Being run through the media mill?
With all this exposure
We think, Heaven knows, you're
Just giving her ego its Phil.

Suleman says hospital wants proof she can care for octuplets
She tells TV host 'Dr. Phil' McGraw she fears that they
may not be released until she has a better living arrangement.
She and her six other children live at her mother's house
By Jessica Garrison and Kimi Yoshino
The Los Angeles Times, 2/25/09

No Jif's brands or butters

All because of this arrogant putz
Salmonella's infecting our guts.
It sticks in the craw
And we hope that the law
Strings him up by his poisonous nuts.

Peanut-borne salmonella is subject of outrage in Congress
By Rebecca Cole, The Los Angeles Times, 2/12/09

Coming soon...

To a theater (of the absurd) near you.

Blagojevich, feeling the sting,
Thinks he's Gandhi, Mandela, and King!
What's next? He'll evoke
Those Middle-earth folk
And be Frodo protecting the Ring?

Blagojevich in NBC interview compares himself
to Gandhi, King and Mandela
By Lynn Sweet, Chicago Sun-Times, 1/25/09

A dream fulfilled

Now work to be done.

We have witnessed the arduous climb
Just to savor this moment, sublime.
Let the message ring out;
Can there be any doubt
That, at last, change has come to our time?

New President, 'New Era Of Responsibility'
by Mara Liasson, NPR, 1/21/09

Would you buy a used car business plan from these men?

In Detroit, yes, the outlook's not sunny,
But the Big Three's solution seems funny.
Do they really expect
To survive the car wreck
By filling their airbags with money?

Automakers Take Plea for Bailout to House Committee
Hearing Comes Day After Senate Appearance Fails to Persuade Lawmakers
By Lori Montgomery and Kendra Marr
The Washington Post, 12/5/08

Recycle this limerick

Then give your computer a rest

Every breath you have taken since birth
Is the price conservation is worth.
We must stop the abuse
In our energy use
Or someday we will pay with the Earth.

Happy Earth Day
Reduce you carbon footprint today by actually making some footprints. If you live in PA, try walking to the polls to vote for the environmentally friendly candidate of your choice.

[N.B.: This limerick was composed totally of recycled material. Yup! No new ideas, just enduring ones that I hope will outlast the plastic and toxins in your landfill.]

Earth Day 2008
The Boston Globe, 4/22/08

What happens in Vegas

A message from
The Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority

We, in Vegas, won’t tattle the tale;
But good judgment should, surely, prevail.
We think that the Juice
Has played fast and loose.
Who steals here, will stay here – in jail!

O.J. on Las Vegas hotel incident: 'I've done nothing wrong'
By Scott Glover, The Los Angeles Times, 9/16/07

If I Ignored It...

would it go away?

Though the Goldmans deserve every credit
If they publish his book (with their edit,)
If I Did It 's a joke
Like no fire where there's smoke.
Would I learn something new, if I read it?

Victims’ families feud over O.J.’s ‘If I Did It’ book
Denise Brown accuses Goldmans of “commercializing blood money”
By Mike Celizic, NBC, The TODAY Show, 8/15/07

Record* catch!

Seems Barry is joining the ranks
Of the greats with achievements like Hank's.
If using the 'roids
Automatically voids
His record, this guy still says, "Thanks!"



Record baseball may be worth $1m
BBC News, 8/8/07

Food for thought?

So you eat 'til your stomach distends?
Who's at fault? Well, I guess that depends.
There's no need that you cease
Just because you're obese.
Place the blame on your overweight friends!

Obesity Spreads In Social Circles As Trends Do, Study Indicates
By Rob Stein, The Washington Post, 7/26/07

This is not Mission Impossible!

Inconvenient or not, I implore
You to take in the Truth, ala Gore.
The glacial-ice pace
That our leaders embrace
Fuels a crisis we cannot ignore.

If you haven’t already, I urge you to see the film. It will be mobilizing for those of you that recognize the urgency of the global warming issue and enlightening for those that have been swayed by the corporate spin doctors.

I must admit that the cynic in me (and what part isn’t?) couldn’t help but think about the springboard this movie could be for a "Gore in 2008" campaign. I hope that impression doesn’t obscure the important message about what we are doing to our environment. But maybe if the guy who "was once the next president of the United States" was, I wouldn’t have been writing the following back in 2002.

Mr. Bush has a plan, that is bold,
To stop global warmth, we are told.
The Kyoto Accord
Is completely ignored
To ensure that the plan leaves us cold.

We tried to do our part by walking to the film and, even several weeks into the run, the theater was pretty full for Monday bargain night. I can’t vouch for the ratio of hybrids to SUVs in the parking lot, however. And my critics will remind me how I contribute to the problem with all the "hot air" generated at this blog. I guess I need to go plant another tree.

An Inconvenient Truth (2006)
Directed by Davis Guggenheim
In a theater near enough to walk to

Fuel for thought

As the price of our gasoline soars
Just to fatten oil industry whores;
We've become docile fools,
Who deplete fossil fuels
And will fall just like all dinosaurs.

Record Prices Fueling Energy Debate
CBS News, 4/22/06

Make some beautiful music today:

The sweet music will stick in our throats,
When it's sung missing some of the notes;
And Democracy's song
Won't endure very long,
If it isn't composed of our votes.

Vote

Too busy to vote? Not her -- ever
Connie Schultz, The Plain Dealer, 11/7/05