Success Story!

NOTE: The queries for this book have been taken down at the author's request.  The working title was ENEMIES OF TIME.  Thanks to all who make this site what it is; as the moderator, my role is minimal.  The commentors are the ones who bring the value, and those brave enough to share their work provide the platform.

Dear Rick,

Since my deal went public this morning, I wanted to write an official thank you letter for starting The Public Query Slushpile blog. I began reading queries on your blog sometime last May (2009) and it took me until the end of July (I think) to actually post one of my own.

After it posted, I was so nervous, waiting to see if anyone responded. At the time it was the hardest thing I had ever done with my writing.

But I survived both the good and the bad feedback and slowly, with each post, my skin got a little thicker and I really learned to  listen to what others were saying.

Right now, I probably hold the record for the most queries and sample pages posted on The Public Query Slushpile. Seriously, I've put up a ton. A few people even came back and put a second comment after I had written my thank you comment. One person said something like, "Dang Julie, this is your query. How many books have you written?"

Like most writers, amazing words and perfect prose didn't just fall onto the page for me. I had to write lots and lots of bad stuff before I got to something that made one agent and one editor say, "I think this could be a good book." This, of course, followed many rejections and rewrites.

But still, neither said I was done. Nor did they say it was perfect. Not even close. And if it weren't for all the people who gave honest critique and feedback on my queries and sample pages, I would probably be hiding under my bed now, never wanting to come out.

Instead, I listened to everything an editor told me was wrong with my book and then I started sending chapters that were better. Not perfect, but better. Then he got excited because I was so open to revisions and asked for more. Alas, a book was made! And there is still lots more editing to come.

Writing is just like the saying "It takes a town to raise a child." It takes a community like The Public Query Slushpile to make a an aspiring writer into an accomplished writer. At least this is what happened with a new writer like me. Maybe others can do it alone but I know I couldn't.

Thank you Rick and all your many followers!

Julie Cross

P.S. feel free to post this if you would like! I'm pasting my official PMP announcement below. It is a YA book but my editor wanted to call it Debut Fiction for some reason.
--
Julie Cross
wannabewriter2009@gmail.com
http://diaryofanunpublishedwannabewriter.blogspot.com/

Publishers Marketplace
New deals for June 23, 2010
FICTION
Debut

Julie Cross's TEMPEST, the first in a trilogy about a 19-year-old time traveler who witnesses his girlfriend's murder and inadvertently jumps back two years; stuck there, he's recruited by a shadowy government agency run by the man he thought was his father and vows to save his girlfriend no matter the cost, pitched as "Twilight" meets "The Time Traveler's Wife," to Brendan Deneen at Thomas Dunne Books, in a pre-empt, by Suzie Townsend at FinePrint Literary Management (World).

A successful query

Kiersten White posted a successful query on her blog, you should check it out.  The book she queried didn't sell, but it landed her an agent, and she does have a publishing contract now for another book.  It's nice of her to share her steps on the path to publishing success.

Successful Query

I have an agent. Holy smokes, did I say that? I think I did. It must be real.

We're working to get RUDY TOOT-TOOT in shape for submission to a publisher. If you search for Rudy Toot-Toot on this blog you can find the queries, but they aren't what was important, to be honest with you. The important parts were the characters and the writing. It didn't happen overnight. [NOTE: It happened over an hour in the afternoon. You can move fast when the manuscript is only 4,000 words.]

Some history, because this is what's important:

I've been reading agent and editor blogs for about 18 months (I'm a parent, so I speak in months up to 3 years. Do the math.) I've tried to participate by commenting frequently, to show a professional attitude and foster discussion about the craft of writing and the business of publishing. And also be an occasional smart-ass. But I was careful to stay on topic and not hijack a thread (I probably just got on twelve NSA lists for using the word "hijack." You just made three for reading it.)

I've queried and been rejected many times for other works. I've had an agent review a partial, but declined the full with helpful feedback. To be honest with you, it wasn't ready. As hard a pill as that was to swallow, all that work on my first novel had to be re-done. WIP. But the re-write is better. A lot better. Good enough? Time will tell.

I also had a picture book manuscript, but most agents don't represent picture books. I found a couple that do and queried but never got a reply. Eventually I came across news of a children's publishing veteran joining a literary agency, and I reached out to her through the email address on her blog, indicating that I was familiar with the books she works with (i.e. picture books and children's books). I also noted that I read her preferred submission methods (which did not include querying), and asked if she would was open to a query for my picture book. She said for picture books she prefers the whole manuscript, but recommended I wait until her official start date at a new agency about 3 weeks later.

I had the patience to wait until her second day at the agency, mostly to make sure her email account would be set up. It took a couple weeks before she responded with very good feedback, but ultimately saying it wasn't enough and encouraging more from the story. She ended with "please stay in touch."

So I got to writing. After another three weeks the 500-word picture book grew into a 4,000 word chapter book, and a quick sit-down at dinner grew to a full day of doing chores at the family Bean Market.

I re-queried by replying to her last email with the new query, and I attached a copy of the manuscript again. This is good protocol, it helps a busy agent remember who you are, and they don't have to dig for a prior email. But alas, I received an out of office reply that said she would still check messages when possible.

One month passed, and each day I wanted to email her and ask,"Did you get it? What'd you think?"

But I didn't. I waited a full month and then I decided to follow-up via email. I very politely mentioned that I re-queried with a new MS a month ago and got an out of office reply, so I just wanted to make sure it didn't fall through the cracks. I did this by forwarding the prior query (which had the entire originating thread) and I re-attached the manuscript.

It turns out the other email did fall through the cracks, and she read the re-submission right away. She got back to me within the hour (4,000 words = 16 pages) and said she would like to help get it in shape for a publisher, and the rest of that day was spent discussing the story and what it needs. This morning I woke up early to get writing before my day job, and my alarm's set for an early rise again tomorrow.

And the rest is history (in the making)...

NOTE: I have not given up on my other two works in progress, but they are on the back burner for a short while. Must keep writing. For now, this is a great step on my path to publication.

Successful Query!

This is a follow up to the post earlier today about the writer who got "the call."

From Natalie Bahm:

Someone asked if I could post the query that worked so here it is. I actually had two fairly different queries that received requests but this was the one I sent to the agent that offered representation.

Dear Agent:

When eleven-year-old Ally discovers the neighborhood boys are digging a tunnel to an abandoned steel mill she is faced with a dilemma. Should she join them and help dig to the mysterious and seriously off-limits steel mill while spending time with the sixth grade heartthrob Paul, or should she tell her parents, end the boys’ fun, but save them from the accident that’s bound to happen?

Ally decides to join the boys in hopes her involvement can push them to make the tunnel safer. She initiates the building of supports and then helps dig for months (with many adventures on the way) before she and the boys finally break through to the steel mill.

But when two notorious bank robbers known as the Gauze Men find the tunnel and discover where it leads, they decide to use it to get to the perfect hideout- miles of industrial buildings surrounded by a fifteen foot fence, that no one has been inside for twenty years… no one but all the neighborhood boys and Ally. When Ally and Paul get trapped inside the mill with the Gauze Men, they must escape and get help.

Underground is my first novel. It is written for a middle grade audience and is complete at about 33,000 words.

I’d be happy to send you sample pages or the complete manuscript if you are interested. Thank you for your time.


Sincerely,

Natalie Bahm

It's not the best query ever but I think it did a fairly decent job of describing the story in a way that might make agents interested to read it.

With this query I received 3 requests for full manuscripts out of about 15 query submissions. I actually felt the second query I wrote was much stronger than this one, but it had a smaller request request rate (about 1 in 10, instead of 1 in 5).

Some of the best advice I read about query writing came from this blog: http://edittorrent.blogspot.com/2009/04/how-to-put-it-together-into-one-neat.html

Hopefully something in here will be useful. Don't feel like you need to post the whole muddle. (Or any of it for that matter :) Thanks again.

NOTE: I posted the whole muddle ;-)

A Writer Gets "The Call"

This just came in through the submissions post, I thought I would share it. Click here to read the query that was posted for Underground (although it isn't the final version that yielded The Call), and I extend the thanks to everyone who offers their feedback on any query on this site:

I posted my query months ago, just after you set up the blog. I never reposted but I did revise the query and first five pages (about a hundred times :) based on some of the suggestions you and others gave me. I just wanted to say thank you for keeping up this blog. I am sure it is a lot of work for you, but it is a great service for writers.

I got "The Call" last week and I'm sure it never would have happened without the help of other writers who gave their time to help my manuscript and query be the best it could be. Hopefully I can repay some of the kindness.

So thanks.

Successful Query- BROKEN

Thanks for all your support and kind words at the Slushpile.
Here's the final query I used for BROKEN.

Alec Sumner, a psychologist and author, understands loss. Not only has he written about it, he’s lost his home, his relationship, his mother’s love, and today – his heart to Eli Burke on a busy street. Eli knows loss, too. He can’t escape it. After watching his lover beaten to death in a London alley, he’s been left with a limp, scars, and nightmares as permanent reminders.

Fueled by liquor, lust, and heartache, their brief encounter in the back seat of a car convinces Alec that he must have Eli in his life despite the young man’s inability to move beyond his traumatic past. Eli is charmed when Alec offers him an escape from a difficult day and a sympathetic ear; he’s delighted when Alec takes an interest in his work; and he’s turned on when Alec lays a bold, passionate embrace on him. Now what? Does Eli attempt to outrun his painful past with isolated charity work abroad, or reward Alec’s romantic efforts and risk his heart again? One thing is certain: neither of them want to lose anything else.

Along with this I also sent them a short bio, synopsis, and partial on 4/26. I received the request for the full MS on 5/20 and the contract on 6/20. Thanks to everyone for their feedback and good wishes. I'm still on cloud nine.
Dawn

A Submitter got a Contract

Here's proof that it can happen: Dawn Johnson emailed me to let me know that she was offered a publication contract for her novel BROKEN by Dreamspinner Press.

Click here to read the original query for BROKEN. You can link to revisions from that post.

Congrats Dawn, and thanks to everyone who offers advice on this blog. A little bit of help can make a big difference in someone's career.

SUCCESSFUL QUERY! THE PANAMA HOTEL

I have recieved permisson through an intermediary to post the following query by author Jamie Ford. This was posted on Anita Laydon-Miller's Blog, and both the author and agent have agreed to let me post it here. The author signed with the agent, and the agent sold the book, which is what we all yearn for. Presumably, they are all living happily ever after!
- Rick Daley

Dear Ms. Nelson:

I must admit I hate Asian stereotypes. You know the ones. Good at math. Hardworking. We all look alike. Come to think of it, that last one might hold water. After all, my father once wore a button that read “I am Chinese,” while growing up in Seattle’s Chinatown during WWII. It was the only thing that separated him from the Japanese, at least in the eyes of his Caucasian neighbors.

Sad, but true. Which is probably why my novel has a little to do with that particular piece of history.

Anyway, the working title is The Panama Hotel, and when people ask me what the heck it’s all about I usually tell them this: “It’s the story of the Japanese internment in Seattle, seen through the eyes of a 12-year-old Chinese boy, who is sent to an all-white private school, where he falls in love with a 12-year-old Japanese girl.”

But it’s more complicated than that. It’s a bittersweet tale about racism, commitment and enduring hope––a noble romantic journey set in 1942, and later in 1986 when the belongings of 37 Japanese families were discovered in the basement of a condemned hotel.

This historical fiction novel is based on my Glimmer Train story, I Am Chinese, which was a Top 25 Finalist in their Fall 2006 Short-Story Competition For New Writers. An excerpt was also published in the Picolata Review.

Think Amy Tan, but with a sweeter aftertaste. Thank you for your consideration and time, Jamie Ford