It isn't as if my sistahs are EVER at a loss for words, and it isn't as if there's been nothing going on, so why the dearth of posting here in the last (counting on all fingers and toes) 36 days?
Somebody get in here and write something brilliant, before I have to round you all up and smack you all upside the head.
Where oh Where
have all my Sox Sistahs gone??
Oh where oh where can they be?
With their blogging cut short
And their faces so long,
... Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me. Is there anyone at home?
With apologies to Roger Waters, it has been quiet here lately. Over on my own Red Sox blog, I finally wrapped up the postseason stats of ex-Red Sox players and even did a drive-by posting about what little hot stove news there has been. I see that Beazer is similarly grasping for blog topics and has elected to post her greatest hits.
Meanwhile, somewhere deep in the heart of Texas, erstwhile-and-soon-to-be-again Sox Sistah Tex is trying to figure out exactly how she screwed up her Blogger.com account such that she can't post here. Trust me, when she finally gets things straightened out, you'll be glad she is here. If you've ever been at Fenway and seen a crazy woman waving a Texas flag, you have had a small taste of the Tex experience. I can only imagine what gleeful musings she would have posted (had she been able) when the Sox re-signed her compatriot Mike Timlin.
Of course, it would also be nice to hear from the other Sistahs who have not yet posted here. I hesitate to mention any names, but their initials are Bballwidow, Ladynightingale1, and Fenway123. Brenken just barely escapes scrutiny by virtue of a solitary post back in May.
Speaking of Brenken, she is coming north from her tropical lair in a couple weeks! Will we be able to capture her in pixels? How many Sistahs can we get in front of the camera at one time? Which of them will go postal after seeing said images posted here for our loyal readers to see? The world is waiting to find out.
Granted, yesterday's 9-8 loss to the Seattle Mariners was a menagerie of "how not to play baseball" moments, but most troubling for me were the implosions of relievers Manny Delcarmen and Mike Timlin. In my efforts to make sense of what happened, I could reach only one logical conclusion.
These men desperately need some Beazer lovin'.
It was way back in January that Little Manny got the thrill of his life
and it is clear that he needs another.
As for Mr. Timlin, I don't think he has ever had the Beazer lovin' experience, which could very well explain his contribution to yesterday's debacle.
It's time for our Beazer to take one (or two) for the team and get these guys back on track. I'm sure it's a sacrifice she would willingly make.
Extra! Extra! Our very own sistah, the one and only Beazer, is going to tonight's Sox-Yanks game, and all of you will be able to see her! (Actually, she went to last night's game too, but she was sitting out in right field somewhere, whereas tonight she'll be more visible.)
Be sure to watch for her on either NESN or ESPN, depending on where you live. For those who don't know what she looks like, here's a recent picture, hanging with Red Sox prospect Jed Lowrie (she likes younger men, you know):
The scene is Worcester, Massachusetts, around 6:00pm this evening. I'm leaving work and heading to Hanover Insurance Park at Holy Cross College for opening night of the independent Worcester Tornadoes, which in its first year of existence won the 2005 Can-Am League championship. I have a single ticket to the sold-out game.
Meanwhile, not far away in Boston, Beazer is riding the T on her way to Fenway Park to watch the Sox and Yankees in the second of their three-game series. It's less than 24 hours since the Good Guys summarily dispatched the Evil Empire by a score of 9-5, though it wasn't even as close as that sounds. Beazer too has a single ticket for her game.
I ring up Beazer on the cell phone. Do me a favor, I ask, text message me with updates. I'll be at the Tornadoes game. No problem, she says.
Slightly more than an hour later, while I'm watching the Tornadoes get their rings, the cell phone vibrates. It's an incoming text message...
WARNING: The following exchange has not been edited. If you are offended by vulgar language or poor punctuation, STOP READING NOW.
