Next debate, please.

Last night's Obama/McCain debate did not deliver many laughs or surprises. I am eagerly awaiting the vice presidential debate this Thursday, October 2. It will be quite a show. How will these two kooky VP candidates further embarrass their respective parties? Will Sarah Palin carry a loaded shotgun, just in case she spots any animals ripe for huntin' ? Will Joe Biden make the entire viewing audience uncomfortable when he inevitably insults moderator Gwen Ifill on her race, or when he insults her on her gender? Will Senator Obama and Senator McCain sit behind the stage in the green room, holding each other and weeping as they wonder why they selected these jokers to be their running mates?

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This commercial makes me sad.

- From LetCaliforniaRing.org

Because some people still don't get it. I hope they will understand someday. Everyone deserves equal rights. Also, Democrats: approving of separate but equal "civil unions" doesn't cut it. I'm looking at you, John Edwards, adulterer of the hour.

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South Carolina: Shooting itself in the foot

Colbert won't appear on SC ballot, by Jim Davenport, AP.

South Carolina Democrats squashed Stephen Colbert's fanciful White House bid on Thursday.

Colbert, who poses as a conservative talk-show host on the Comedy Central cable network, filed to get on the ballot as a Democratic candidate in his native South Carolina. His campaign paid a $2,500 filing fee just before the noon deadline, said state Democratic Party Chairwoman Carol Fowler.

However, after about 40 minutes of discussion by top party officials, the executive council voted 13-3 to keep the host of "The Colbert Report" off the ballot.

"He's really trying to use South Carolina Democrats as suckers so he can further a comedy routine," said Waring Howe, a member of the executive council. And Colbert "serves to detract from the serious candidates on the ballot."

But state Rep. Gilda Cobb-Hunter told the committee Colbert could showcase the state "in a way that none of the other candidates on the ballot have been able to do."

"I think you're taking this a little too seriously," she said.

I've never been to South Carolina, and I have no immediate plans to visit. To me, the state is one step up from West Virginia, based on nothing but my ignorance. So when I hear that the top Democratic officials in South Carolina are eliminating the only thing that is giving their primary any attention--positive or otherwise--in a desperately overcrowded election, I must roll my eyes, shake my head and wave my fist in the air. Besides Rudy Giuliani's constant 9/11 mentions and Fred Thompson's unwillingness to express defined interest in actually running for President, this is the dumbest, most self-righteous thing I have heard this month regarding the 2008 election. The month of November just began today, so I'm sure I'll find something to top this by next week.

Every big state, from Michigan to Iowa to Arizona, is trying to make their primary the most important one. But the Stephen Colbert announcement last month brought attention to South Carolina, a state that 1) I did not realize John Edwards was also from until now, and 2) I did not know had a primary at all. If I didn't know these facts, and I've been paying so much attention to this Presidential race and US politics in general, how many other people have become interested in this election, primaries and South Carolina based solely on Mr. Colbert?

As if Stephen Colbert would sully the name of South Carolina Democrats. Those people need to get over themselves.

This Thing is No Longer in Diapers

Friday's Cheers and Jeers from Daily Kos:

Democratic leaders in the House juggle hearings:

Let's see... I'll need room number two tomorrow for the Prosecutor scandal testimony.

Can't. Walter Reed scandal's in two. You'll have to use room number three.

But three's being used for the FBI illegal spying investigation. What about room one?

No good. That's for the Katrina hearings. Oh wait, never mind, that's Lieberman's committee...nothing scheduled there. You can have room one.

Hold up there, pard'ner. I reserved room one for the Valerie Plame scandal. Use room four.

Nah, four's taken. Investigation into bogus reasons for going to war.

Five? Nope. Torture scandal's in five.

Six? No can do. War profiteering scandal.

Seven? Nope. Subprime lending scandal.

Eight? Sorry. Abramoff scandal.

Nine? Booked. GSA scandal.

Ten? Nope. Boehner ethics scandal.

Boehner? Really?

Shook down a Girl Scout. Made off with 43 bucks and a case of thin mints.

How about room eleven?

That's the men's room. But it's wide open.

Fine. I'll take it.

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In other news, I am done with October Road. I couldn't get through the second episode. I love you, Bryan Greenberg (and you, too, Mr. Minkus), but Bryan, you do not have enough acting talent to carry a series, especially one this poorly written.

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Open memo to Joseph Gordon-Levitt:

Please do a movie that makes me laugh. 10 Things is one of my faves, but I've already seen it at least 20 times. This depressing Lookout, Shadowboxer, Brick indie oeuvre isn't doing it for me. I don't care what those Sundance people are telling you; bring back the funny. Don't make me have to get my fix from buying Seasons 2-6 of 3rd Rock.

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Finally, Daily Show, you are on notice. Mr. Stewart, hire some new writers and some funny correspondents I can relate to (John Hodgman, Larry Wilmore, and Rob Riggle: don't worry, you're all safe), because your show is this close to SNL country.