Chelsea Salomone

Well, apparently I am a HORRIBLE judge of character.

I decided to end the relationship with my Asian eyebrow lady Helen; I'm tired of her opinions, and I've suffered one misshapen eyebrow too many. So today I tried a new place. (Incidentally, this is my FIFTH eyebrow place since we moved to Keller two years ago, and I've never found one I like. My eyebrow are a pretty um... dominant feature on my face and I need a master's touch to keep them up every two weeks.) ((Not to be H.M. or anything.)) But I had the best lady of all time in Dallas, and I just can't seem to find anyone I like here. Until today.

I went to a girl who is an actual esthetician at a new salon. We'll call her "A." She looked to be in her early twenties- dark brown hair cut really cute, big blue eyes, a really pretty smile- gorgeous girl. She had a slight southern accent, which made her even cuter, and came across to me as a really sweet, shy girl. We talked & talked and as it turns out, she and two girlfriends live on the other side of our neighborhood! Of course I'm always scoping out girls for my brother to date, so as soon as she told me that she was new to the area my wheels started turning. And let me just say- my eyebrows have never looked better. Seriously. I LOVED her.

I didn't want to freak A out, so I played it cool with the matchmaking. But as soon as I was in the parking lot I called JG to tell him all about his new girlfriend! Of course he was like, "Look I'm really busy closing deals. And don't be ridiculous, I'm not going to go up there and get my eyebrows done."

Maybe I was just elated by my perfectly shapen brows, who knows, but I was determined that this thing was going to happen! Sweet, gorgeous girl moves to the big city and meets my wonderful brother... I could squeal just imaging the possibilities!

Well then I came home. And in a very NON STALKERISH way- please let me reiterate that it was not stalkerish what-so-ever, I searched for her on Facebook and I swear to you, I almost fell out of my chair.

Although her profile is private, my sweet, shy A's profile picture is one of her leaning against a wall in stilettos, a black bra and underwear. And nothing else!! Oh, and let's not forget how she is playfully "popping" the band of her underwear. Or how it says she is EIGHTEEN!! I'm not one to make snap judgements about people, but come on!! Something about an eighteen year old in a thong does not have sister-in-law written on it. And she lives in my neighborhood?!?! What kind of house are those girls running?

I e-mailed the link to my brother in disgust. He texted me right away. "Good God, she's smokin' hot. Is this some kind of joke? This is her? Niiiiiiice."

UGH! Bright Idea 15B is a no go. At least my eyebrows look good though.