The dumbest custody battle ever...

...comes courtesy of Stacy.

Time for a new edict. If I were the King of the World, Gangbangers would all be rounded up just for being in a gang...and airlifted here...where they could share "turf" with Islamotards.

End of problem.

If I were King of the World...

New edicts if I were the King of the World:

1. No laugh tracks allowed. Ever. I won't watch any CBS "comedy" because they all have those retarded laugh tracks. That 1/2 Hour News Hour trainwreck on Fox News? Can't sit through four minutes of it before the laugh track makes me want to launch a brick through my screen. Besides...with the exception of Dennis Miller, that show sucks. Which leads me to my next edict...

2. Fox News will stick to news and news analysis. No attempts to be funny. Geraldo is banished to the "E" Channel where he can fawn over Paris Hilton all he wants and present his retarded argument for amnesty to the brainiacs who watch that channel...and couldn't care less. Dennis Miller gets his own hour instead.

If I were the king of the world

I am watching the US Open golf tournament and I think I've finally had it.

So begins a series that I shall call "If I were the king of the world" (with apologies to 3 Dog Night).

My first edict:

Any moron who yells either "You da Man!" or "Get in the hole!" at a televised PGA golf tournament, shall be forcibly ejected and sentenced to serving drinks to boozed up lesbians during the Dinah Shore weekend in Palm Springs.