AGONY's LiveJournal

(TRY to HURT me)

Subject:	Fuck the Bull-Shit!
Time:	10:31 pm.
Mood:	aggravated.

Its only the classic black Doc Martens for me...
My soul is dark so why shouldn't my shoes be?

Which Doc Marten are you?
(by *coffeebean*)

Damn, yesterday Moni and I went to the Saide Hawkins thing, and DAAAMMMNNN! It was fun. We got a bottle of Smirnof Vodka and drank the shit. I was buzzing it and Moni was a little more than I was. Dude, I had fun. I don't regret going. Man, the funny shit was how we sneeked in the bottle. Moni put it in between her legs and shit. It was funny. We didn't even wait 10 min. to start drinking the shit. It was cool, my plans were to not drink much anyway, because I wanted to take care of Moni just in case she got out of hand or something, but things went well though. Damn. As soon as I know it, we were both dancing and shit to hip-hop and shit, it was cool. I can't wait until my sis's wedding to do that again. Yup, Yup, I spoke to Joey and shit, and he was trippin on how I got kind off jeouluse on the fact tat he was gonna kick it with one of his ex's. I mean I can't help it yah know. I do like him. Moni was all telling me and making me feel bad on how I "stole" him away from her, but I didn't do anything to pursue him toward me, he just started likieng me out of no where. I dunno. All I do know is that if Moni doesn't want me to get with him... I'm sorry Joey, but I am not going to allow any guy to ruen my friendship with Moni. Nope, No Sr.E! Nah, I love that gurl too darn much to let a guy fuck it up. Yup.

I'm kinda depressed and pissed-off right now because my mom and sis think that if I continue going out and kicking it with my bro-in-law, that we might end up hooking up. I mean c'mon man. I'm not like that, what kind of person are they taking me for? SHIT! I told my momms that too. Now I see that I'm the bad influence in the family. I understand how their whole image of me is now. Whatever, it seems that they were never proud of me in the first place. Like my mom said, one to many times, I am the dissapointment in the family. But I don't think so, watch, I'm gonna prove them all wrong one day, and then they will see that they were wrong in thinking of me like they do. That pisses me off so much, then she gets mad because I stay at school almost all day, I mean hello Im trying to graduate here, and then I'm planning to take adult school to get the English credits I'm missing, fuck this shit, I was trying to graduate not only for my self, but to make my mom happy, but fuck that. Now I'm only doing it for ME! I don't care if she does think I am selfish. But if I don't look out for my self, who will? Fuck it all. I swear one of these days she's gonna cross the line with me and I don't know what I'll say to her. But I know it's gonna be something I need to take off my mind for once. MAN! I'M MAD AGAIN! I HATE THIS SHIT AMN. I'M ONLY 17 AND I'M GOING THROUGH BULL SHIT.

On tuesday I got mu US for my ovaries. I hope everything will turn out ok. My mom says that she rather have me go through surgery than to take pills for the rest of my life. But duh, she had her kids already so she doesn't give two shits about mine. She's all talking about, "You can always adopt" whatever lady! You should've adopted rather than to have me, since I'm no good!

Aw, cheer up little ducky. Why so glum?

Find your inner rubber ducky.

Find out which of my friends this test thinks you're like.

This test created by Misha

(TRY to HURT me)

Subject:	I'm depressed and bilingual
Time:	10:03 am.
Mood:	exhausted.
Music:	Orkest.

Me siento muy trieste, pero no voy a dejar que mis entucisamos se escapen de my mente. No quiero sentirme como estoy, pero no puedo acer nada, a lo contario, quiero ser triste, por que no tengo nada de que ser feliz. Tengo a alguen al quien nomas me aquerdo y me siento mejor. Pero, no se si lo meresco. Yo a sufrido mucho, y no a recivido nada pero dolor. Es muy confundido, pero, lo unidco que puedo hacer es actuar como si nada me pasa, y desimular como si todo esta bien, y, yo estoy feliz. Aun que me estoy mintiendo yo misma.

Damn, spanish! It's cool, I guess. Whatever. I'm in cals an I'm confused. I can't wait until I go to K nott's tomorrow night and kick it with people. I know I'm gonna have fun. Hopefully.

Who's Your Inner Music Industry Diva? Find out @ She's Crafty

(TRY to HURT me)

Subject:	They treat me like as if I were pregnant, But I'm not!
Time:	7:07 pm.
Mood:	scared.

I went to the gynecologist today, and man, I got some Birth control pills, for reals. Damn! I have to start taking them on Sun. to see if I can get better, if not, I dunno. I have an ultrasound on Tue. to see if the can find anything wrong with my ovaries, whether there's something growing there which shouldn't be. If there is something, I think I'm gonna go under surgery. I'm scared. I'm so depressed, I don't know what to do. I was at rehearsals and all I could think was about this bull. I don't know, I'm so scared, and then my sis's wedding is coming soon, so hopefully everything is going to end up cool, and my sisters wedding will go fantastic.

(TRY to HURT me)

Time:	10:01 am.
Mood:	nauseated.

People were hung in various positions from you, sometimes with weights, stretching and dislocating limbs. Sometimes they were left to starve or succumb to the elements. All in all, you're a pretty forgiving person, provided they don't -really- get you angry.

What torture would you be?

Your Results:
You were female in your last earthly incarnation.
You were born somewhere around the territory of what is now know as modern Portugal, approximately in the year 700.
Your profession was: monk, bee-keeper, lone gunman.
A brief psychological profile of you in that past life:
Inquisitive, inventive, liked to get to the very bottom of things and to rummage in books. Talent for drama, natural born actor.
A lesson that your last past life wishes you to learn in your present life is:
The world is full of ill and lonely people. You should help those, who are less fortunate than you are.

do you remember?

I'm Homer, who are you? by Lexi

Which Angelina Are You?

Which Lion King Character Are You?

Created by CrazyCoasterCo.

What era of Trent Reznor are you? Take the What Trent Are You? quiz to find out!
Quiz by chameleon669!

(TRY to HURT me)

Subject:	AND YOU KNOW THIS... BIATCH!!!
Time:	10:28 am.
Mood:	blah.
Music:	TETRIS SONG.

I am A Dingle Berry .

Dingle berries... we all know one. clinging to that parent or significant other for dear life.. basing every discussion on the opinions and actions of that one special person. the mama's boy (or girl) of the shit family, but Dingle berries do have a dark side and are known for their jealousy and sudden bursts of anger and violence though the life of a Dingle berry may seem meaning less, it does have its upsides... usually death.
What Kinda Shit Are You?

Hey, guess
what? I'm a--

What
color Yoshi are you? Come take the quiz!

Which Grunge Band Are You?

Take the Which Breakfast Food Are You? Quiz.

(TRY to HURT me)

Subject:	But yah!!!
Time:	10:02 am.
Mood:	pensive.

Im high right now, and I'm also thinking things over the whole situation about guys. I have made the conclusion of allowing my heart make these kind of decisions for me. I use to take my heart for granted and decide only with what I wanted, but now, I have grown to mature about these subjects in my life.I believ hat I have failed in previous tasks in my lie dealing with others and my emo's. But now I have made up a theory for my self. I will not disconsider anyone, not the others nor my self. Everyones esteem is in danger if not considered toward those. I dunno.

So my sis's wedding is in like 2 weeks, and I have to prepare a poem/speech, for the wedding, since I am her main Made of Honor. Yup. I hope the people who I invited go. *AHEM* Yup. Foe Realz! LOL =P

Im in school right now, and Im bored. Ohh shit, Saidie Hawkins is this friday, I want to go. Moni wants too, but we'll see what's up. It seems like fun. But yah, bust a mission and shit, but I dunno. So I gtg. I'll see what's been going on. I also think that Moni didn't come to school today, DAMN!

(TRY to HURT me)

Time:	10:13 pm.
Mood:	shocked.

So today we went on and took a trip to West L.A to visit my aunt. Yes, the evil one who gets dominated by her 68 year old "Man". So we go and stuff and no one is home. It was like 11:30 a.m. At the time is was only My Bro, Momms and I. So we came back like an hour later to see what was up. No one, still. So we go off and come back home and my momms takes off to pick up my sis from work and we head off One'Mo gen. And Tada! There their, well it's only my aunt and my cousin. Yah so my momms and aunt talked. But when we went in, my aunt brought out my cousin, Rene is his name just like my daddys and my little bro's. But yah, he's one of me! Hurray. BUT... We, as my sis and I. Are more than positive that he's a tweaker. Why? Because he looked and acted like a total retard, he's skinny like fuck, and he doesn't remember any of us for shit! I feel bad, to know that my true only blood family in the U.S is going down the drain. My aunt gets manhandeld by this old fuck, which I can beat in a snap. ASSHOLE! His name just happeneds to be Gabriel too. Damn! Man, it suxed. I feel bad for what goes on in that house. But there is nothing for us to do. My momms already told my aunt that she wont consider her for shit while she has that piece of shit still involved in her life. I don't know, I was so anxious to finally see my cousin after 11 years, and too see him like this just hurts me. I realy want to help, but how? I know he has the internet. I know his addy and his full name, date of birth. I wonder if I can find out more if I search the internet? More than lkely I will. I'll try. Man, I hope I get intouch with him some how. I want to see if I can help anyone out in anyway, they are my blood family. But would I be doing a good thing? I'm so confused about this.

I have been noticing, that I have lost my sence of touch. I have smoked this past month a lot, and now I lost my sence of touch. I hope it's just the Jane in my system and that it will go away, because I don't like this feeling I have. But yah. Things have been cool for me. Yeah, my sis is getting married, and Im her Maid of Honor. How cool! Yah. Im so happy for her.