| Cool Beans |
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| 08:01am 01/02/2003 |
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There are tims I never understand Jay. He gets himself a shitload of "free money" and proceeds to spend (most) of it on me. Kinda makes me realize how selfish I am most of the time -- with money AND myself and my free time.
Anyway, what happened is this: He was going to his car after his first run and saw some dude drop his wallet. He grabbed it and ran after the guy to give it back. The guy was extremely grateful and flipped through the wallet (which contained around 3 grand in it) and handed Jay $250 as a reward. Can you IMAGINE that? By the gods :) $250 as a reward.
Anyway, he all but hopped, skipped, and jumped over to the mall where he picked up 1) A Gameboy Advance, 2) various accessories for said Gameboy and 3) Two games for said Gameboy. The cool thing is he knows how badly I'm waiting for my SP to be released, so he said that this gameboy is mine until the sp is released. He bought it and yet I'm the one who's going to use it for two months. That's the sweetest thing :)
Also, he had money left over and I had a $50 GC to a different mall. So we went game hunting. He gave me ALL the leftover money and told me to get whatever games I wanted, as an early Valentine's Day gift. I wound up with Tetris Worlds, Mario Kart, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, and only spent around $15 of my own money :)
It was probably the sweetest thing anyone's done for me in a long time. Granted, it wasn't 100% me, because he'll be getting the stuff (except my games) back in March, but still. It's just amazing to me.
I also got him something for Valentine's Day yesterday. :) We were in Gadgets and Gizmos and I saw an oil burner made of skulls, chains, and roses. He and I discussed it for a few, and I got it for him, as well as some tea lights and a scent (cinnamon). That was partially selfish too, because I'm absolutely delighted at ANYTHING that can get that funky musty smell out of his basement, or at least disguise it. He's happy too, because cinnamon is supposed to be an aphrodisiac, so he'll be burning that the next time I'm over, I'm sure.
Anyway, I've got to go. Work beckons (ugh). Have a good day, all. |
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(2 family members | Ohana means family) |
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| Ugh. |
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| 06:27am 29/01/2003 |
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mood:  tired
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Pain....pain! Goddamn elliptical trainer! What possessed me to make the jump from 20 minutes to 30, I don't know, but my legs, back, and stomach all hurt :P I suppose, in the grand scheme of weight loss, that's a good thing :P
I realized I made a bad mistake yesterday. I left Beowulf until today, remembering my 3 hour break. Stupid me forgets that Beowulf is for my FIRST class -- thankfully, she's only doing background on the story today, so I do have time to read it before this Monday, when the quiz is.
Didn't go shopping with Mom yesterday -- she was too tired. I wound up going to two different libraries instead, to research for my philosophy paper. Found a TON of great stuff, including a book I might want to buy -- Fifty Great Thinkers in Education. It has essays from everyone from Confucious to Kant to Aristotle and Louisa May Alcott. Also more modern people I don't know :P BUT, it's exactly what I need. That and the 7 other books I got :P
I should get going. If I CAN leave early, I want to. I want to exchange my stupid education book ASAP -- hopefully, the new one will be cheaper :P |
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(1 family member | Ohana means family) |
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| Hard to believe...... |
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| 10:18am 28/01/2003 |
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mood:  awake music: "Love is Strange" -- Dirty Dancing Soundtrack
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But today I know -- as much as I might dislike a LOT about it, I am glad to be back at school. I'm still an academic at heart.
My classes should be decent. In Medieval English Lit, we'll be reading Beowulf, Chaucer, Sir Gawain, and Shakespeare. Sounds good to me :) In American Tradition of Lit, we'll be looking at American authors from the Puritans through the Civil War -- looking at them and seeing how their words shaped America. Our first assignment is Anne Bradstreet -- one of my FAVORITE poets. She wrote love poems to make you cry :) In Writers of English Lit, we're studying "writers who write in the language of the oppressors." ie, African, Native American, etc, authors who write in English. My only problem with this class is I took an entire SEMESTER at Platts about how white people destroyed every other race. I don't really need to go through that again. Anyway, my last class is my first Ed class -- Foundations of Education. Might not like that one, but its necessary.
Homework so far: By tomorrow: 1/4 of Beowulf, 4 Bradstreet poems, 50 pages of a short story book, and *drum roll* for education, I have to make an appointment for a physical :P This class involves 25 hours of fieldwork in a middle school, and I need a physical and a TB test. I also have to exchange my book because they replaced the damn teacher at the last minute and he changed the book I had already bought.
I also have a 8-10 page paper accompanied by a 20 minute oral presentation due in just over a month :P Fortunately for me, the topic is one I'm going to LOVE: The Philosophy of Education of Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Locke, and Rousseau. My main problem: Can I keep it UNDER 20 minutes??? Can I keep it UNDER 10 pages? I'll be lucky if I wind up with under 15 pages! I love ACTUAL philosophy (not the bullshit I got last semester) and relating it to my future career should be fun :)) I start researching that hopefully today.
I'm also still researching Buddhism. Every time I've tried to make a spiritual change in my life, I've rushed in blindfolded, gotten sick of it, and burned out. Now, I'm reading this ONE Buddhism book slowly. I'm highlighting things. I'll skim through it again when I'm done, then I'll put it aside and get a new one. I'll do that until I feel I have a real grasp of the philosophy (contrary to popular belief it is NOT a religion -- there's no diety to worship!) then I'll decide if it's right fo rme. It looks like it might be, but I refuse to make that decision yet. One thing I like is that it's about taking NOTHING at face value -- seeing the Truth of life. (note: see new icon :))
Lots to do today... including shopping with mom. She really wants to go, and she doesn't want to leave the house alone after the last seizure. Her brain is still rebooting and she's forgetting things like rinsing after brushing her teeth. We're all afraid if she goes out alone, she'll do something like forget about the brake pedal. So I'm errand girl until she's feeling better. I'm a little resentful of my free time being taken up, but I can't be TOO resentful -- she's my mom, and as much as we pretend there's no feelings between us, I love her. I'll do what's necessary, and I know for a fact I'll have fun going shopping with her. I always do. We're both shopaholics :)
Oh, yeah, I updated a bunch of new icons. ![[info]](http://library.vu.edu.pk/cgi-bin/nph-proxy.cgi/000100A/http/web.archive.org/web/20040609235245im_/http:/=2fstat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) arien did, and it reminded me that I have them, and never uploaded them.
Time to go! Workout, breakfast, shower, homework, shopping, library research already... *laughs* I need all this in my life. I feel empty with nothing to do. It's a great help to my life to know that it -- and I -- am GOING somewhere. I refuse to be one of those losers with no hopes of a real career, stuck on Long Island, hanging out in bowling alleys :P
I have a 3 hour break between 2 of my classes and it's going to come in VERY handy. Since I didn't have schoolbooks, I read about 100 pages of a Tad Williams novel and 30 pages of my Buddhist book. Imagine how much schoolwork I can get done in that time :) |
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(2 family members | Ohana means family) |
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| So many strange things.... |
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| 09:54pm 26/01/2003 |
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mood:  contemplative
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So many things went on today. To start, I start school tomorrow. I'm not sure how I feel. I don't want to go because I just got used to having life a little easier. Yet I DO want to go for the purpose of filling my goals, continuing my life, getting the hell out of Long Island...
Another thing... I'll probably be getting a new car this summer. Not a NEW new car, but a new used car. My mom brought up today that my Uncle Glenn will be looking to sell his. It's a damn fine looking car, still 13 years old, but it doesn't matter. My car is a rust bucket, I constantly need to have it fixed, not to mention the leaking oil, the REALLY bad problem with the overheating, the no-a/c.... My uncle only wants a thousand for his car, and I almost have that much now. I should have that and more by summer. He needs the money more than I, actually, so I won't pull a "family discount" thing on him :) If my aunt and uncle don't want this car back (it was a gift) I'll just sell it. It's in working condition and even with the problems I should get a thousand for it myself. Even if my uncle's car needs repairs, I could make out like a bandit.
Now, onto the final shocker of the day: I had an intelligent convo with my father about religion. My mom asked me if I was still reading my Buddhism book. I said there were some things about Buddhism that bothered me, and dad talked to me and actually told me I was looking at it a little wrong. He was ENCOURAGING me to study Buddhism. Of course, he mentioned that I really should read the Urantia book, but he didn't attempt a conversion! I think its because (so he said) the Urantia book highly praises Buddhism, liking its ideas and precepts and everything. My main problem (anyone knowledgeable, correct me if I do have this wrong) is the "happiness factor" -- the idea that we should look on things and be happy. Sometimes, I really want to savor my bad mood. Also, Buddhism wants us to conquer our anger. Sometimes, I LIKE my anger. I get things done better, faster, more accurately, when I'm angry. I think humans, as a race, need their rightous anger to get anything done.
Although, (someone please correct me!) it may be that you must conquer your anger when it begins to hurt yourself or someone else. I really don't know.
Plus, I don't have a CLUE how to meditate. Anyone know where I can get classes or something?
Ugh. Bedtime. Gotta get up damn early. |
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(Ohana means family) |
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| *grumbles* |
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| 05:22am 25/01/2003 |
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mood:  cold music: Prodigy - Firestarter
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It's about 10 degrees outside, 5:30am, and I've got to go to work. My bed is right next to me, comfortably rumpled and probably REALLY warm. What's wrong with this picture?
*sighs* I don't want to go to work! I want to stay home and sleep. Blah. |
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(Ohana means family) |
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| Reclaiming |
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| 11:37pm 20/01/2003 |
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mood: floating music: "Time of My Life" - Dirty Dancing Soundtrack
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My cousins stayed in my room this weekend, and I slept at Jay's. I'm at home again now, and I'm trying to reclaim my room from the vibes of family. I've got my oil burning, my computer plugged in, and my Dirty Dancing soundtracks (yes, I have the double-disc set!) cooking.
Tomorrow I also reclaim myself. I start working again towards my weight loss goal. I start trying to be the poster child for overcompensation. Taking something I SUCK at -- like self-discipline -- and become excellent at it. I want to be able to say no to cookies and stuff. To help, tomorrow I'm picking up a book from the library, Sugarbusters. Sugar is my #1 downfall, so learning how to avoid it and all its fancy schmancy tricky names will be VERY helpful. I know I'll need my Tuesday-night sugar, but I need to learn to avoid it all.
Things to do tomorrow:
Pick up book at the library
Make appointment with chiropracter -- possibly go tomorrow, period.
Buy a wallet (I now have too many varied cards to fit in my cool butterfly ID holder and I have a $25 GC to Marshalls)
Check out Pier 1 ($20 GC)
Check out Hollywood Video ($35 GC)
I should sleep, but I want to reclaim a little more. |
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(Ohana means family) |
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| Bad Manda |
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| 10:57am 20/01/2003 |
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I've been SOOO bad this weekend with food. Been staying at Jay's this weekend while my cousins sleep in my room. (I just can't wait to see what 4-and-8 year olds can do to my FINALLY clean room!) I'm also indulging in too many cookies -- my diary-free chocolate chip cookies are being discontinued, so I bought a package to revel in before they were all gone.
I'm scared now to know what I'll weigh when I get home later to check. My weight loss efforts are not going well.
On the other hand, I must not look TOO bad. Girls, let me tell you, there's nothing like a man who wants you bad enough to physically rip your shirt off you. Nothing like the harlequin-romance ideal of being 'taken' making into your reality :) |
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(2 family members | Ohana means family) |
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| So many little things. |
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| 03:20pm 16/01/2003 |
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mood:  bouncy music: "Love is Strange" - Dirty Dancing Soundtrack
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I'm struggling for things like balance and discipline in my life. I tend to procrastinate, find ANYTHING to do other than what I need to do. (ie, why I'm writing right now instead of cleaning my room!) I'm trying desperately to correct that. School starts in 11 days, and I want to do good this semester. (Not that I did BAD last semester -- 3.925 GPA. That one damned A- KILLED it! Grrrr....) I want to be able to make a list and get it accomplished, rather than getting sidetracked on the computer. I want to get things done early so I can have time to cross stitch, put puzzles together, or just READ!
I want the discipline to not eat shit! (I made myself sick with chocolate yesterday....) I want the discipline to work out on my elliptical when I'm better again. (Lately, doing more than 5 minutes produces BAD breathing.... so I'm resting :P)
And yet, at the same time, I want the ability to be spontanious. I want to be able to hop in my car and go do something and be cool with it. *chuckles* I want to be able to say "sure!" to Jay and have sex without worrying about the time it's taking away from my studies :P (How's that for bad priorities?) I want to be calm in mind and active in body. I want to be ordered but flexible. I want a balanced duality, like a yin-yang. *hehs* I want to study Buddhism and wear my owl pendant more. It makes me remember what I SHOULD be doing.
On a completely unrelated note, Jay and I are going today to GameStop in Sunrise to put a down payment on a Gameboy Advance SP -- it looks like it KICKS ASS! Plus, there are a ton of games for it that I want that I can afford. PLUS, Jay is giving me his old gameboy and games to turn in for credit towards it.
I saw the ad for it, and did some research. Then, as I thought about spending the money, I remembered how much I loved my original gameboy -- you know, when they were big and grayscale :) Dad even attested to the fact that I never went anywhere without it. I'd love to have this thing to take to school, play between classes.... not to mention all the times I'm at Jay's and he's playing his PS2 and I don't feel like reading and thus have nothing to do. It seems like a nifty gadget to own PLUS (there's that plus again) all the games are cheaper. Let's see... do I spend $50 on Harry Potter for my PS1, or $30 on it for my GBASP?
Plus..... I CAN GET GRAND THEFT AUTO 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never in my life thought I'd be that excited about a video game. But I saw it at Jay's cousin's house and I WANT it. But its only for PS2 -- so its either buy a PS2 for myself, or only play it at Jay's -- and I'm at Jay's only 1-2 days a week. Now I can own it alllll for myself :)
Jay's going to get a few Castlevania games to play on it himself when I'm not playing.
It comes out in March. I canNOT wayit :) |
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(Ohana means family) |
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| Missing.... |
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| 11:02pm 09/01/2003 |
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mood: contemplative
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I miss having lots of friends. I miss having people I can hang with at a moment's notice, call on the phone for no good reason. I had one, but I've heard such bad things about him since the big split, that I find myself unable to look back on past times and see them nicely. It's so sad that I really don't care anymore what he does, who he's with, whatever.
I just miss that connection. Craig offers now and again, but I always feel like I'm bothering people when I call. It's probably a self-esteem thing -- that I'm not worth the time spent talking to me. Automatically assume that no one wants to hear from me anyway. Nine times out of ten, I'm perfectly happy in my own company. Tonight just happens to be that tenth night.
I don't have any way to MEET people. I'm always with Jay. I never get to know people at school -- I'm not a club/bar person, so I don't meet people there, and I'm automatically suspicious of people on the 'net who want to meet.
I don't really feel like I'm missing anything imperative in my life, just some icing on the cake, I guess. |
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(3 family members | Ohana means family) |
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| This week and new program |
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| 10:58am 07/01/2003 |
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mood:  chipper music: "Control" - Poe
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I now have to give complete kudos to a new software program I'm working with, and to reccomend it to people :) I've been futzing around with this thing called DietPower (DietPower) and I lost half a pound this week -- exactly what it said I should lose.
You input how much you weigh now, and how much you want to weigh and by what time. It figures out the NET calories you can consume. For me, its between 1600-1700/day, based on my basic metabolic rate. If I sit on my duff and do nothing, I can eat 1600. But if I exercise and burn 200, that gets added on, and I cna eat 1800. I'm also allowed to "bank" from day to day, in case of slips or parties. (My 1300 cals yesterday will leave me one hell of a bank!).
It has thousands of foods and dozens of exercises in the bank, and you can add your own of both. (I'd be lost without being able to add my pita chips, 3 Berry Granola, and ANgel Wing cookies!)
Okay, enough advertisements. THis week:
Last week/Current:
Weight: 166.6/166
Body fat: 36.8%/36.4%
Abs (the only one that changed) 33"/32.5"
The rest of my measurements stayed exactly the same, so I'm not going to bother with them. I'm just hurrahing myself on the body fat -- for WEEKS, all it did was go up! I was ready to toss my new scale out the window :) |
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(1 family member | Ohana means family) |
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| Iggie |
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| 06:43pm 04/01/2003 |
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mood: awake music: "Clowns (Can You See Me Now?)" -- TATU
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Shame on me! I should be exercising. Lots of little things happening....
Ran into Craig at the bookstore the other day. Major surprise! It's hard to believe he's the same guy I knew at Target, sometimes. He's lost a LOT of weight and looks a lot different. (And where am I? Still around 170. Blah.) He's one of my best friends now (if not my best friend, period) and I get this great sense of affection for him when I see him. It's great :) I'm not used to being affectionate.
I'm adjusting to my school break slowly. Not having anything I HAVE to do is unnerving sometimes. I wind up doing nothing and hating myself for it.
I'm being a Bad Girl with the exercise and good eating bullshit. I got so sick of myself yesterday that I took all my chips, crackers, pasta, trail mix, etc (anything I pig out on) and sectioned it off into 1-serving-size sandwich bags. Now I have tons of bags with 1oz of chips in each, 8 crackers, 10 pieces of dried pineapple, etc. It's the first step, I think. Now to get off my fat, lazy ass and get on Bolor and DO something about everything else!
Oh! Jay and I found a great alternative to love letters. I bought a new journal and we're going to write back and forth in it. No satin ribbons, no cute wax drippings, and I couldn't be happier. I'd rather do it this way. I know out of the two of us, he'll write better things, though. He's very unguarded like that -- I tend to hold my more sensitive emotions in.
Speaking of emotions, Jay and I were discussing our personalities in terms of D&D; alignment. I was thinkign of myself as Neutral-Good, but Jay pointed out that I really am Chaotic Neutral. Chaotic Neutral is the final refuge of madmen. It means you don't give a crap about good OR evil....which I really don't, depending on my mood. Some days I'm ready to kill (evil) and some days I'm in butterfly-mode and being happy and cheerful. Sheesh!
Anyway, one more note before I go. I picked up a book on Buddhism at the bookstore. I doubt I'll ever be Buddhist, but the philosophy sounds like something I should look into. I really need to calm my inner demons and slow my mind and learn awareness. All that good shit :)
Getting on Bolor now :) |
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(1 family member | Ohana means family) |
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| 2003 Goals |
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| 09:29pm 01/01/2003 |
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My goals are pretty simple :) I want to weigh 135-140 by October 31, 2003. I'm getting married October 31, 2004, so I'd have a year to shop for a dress. As per the outfit.... I go mostly for the bridal gowns right now (Go on, call me obsessed :)), so here's one of my favorites :)
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(2 family members | Ohana means family) |
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| 01:19pm 31/12/2002 |
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music: "Who the Hell Are You?" -- Madison Avenue
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I hate New Year's Resolutions. I'm not like Jay, I don't promise not to make them, but I'm on a mailing list for organization and one of the things that the lady keeps saying is that you can start over any minute of any day. Why should I wait til next year to clean up my act? If I blow my "diet" on Jan 12, does that mean the whole year's shot? No.... I just pick up my healthy eating at the next meal.
My resolutions are for ME -- not New Years. The new year just means it's more difficult for me to write the current date for awhile. My resolutions for myself are simple. Eat better, exercise more, take control of my finances. For each one, I have a specific plan written out in Word.
I went over what has happened this past year when I wrote on my birthday. I don't need to go over that again.
I've got to get my ass in gear. I have to work out, take a shower, head to the beading store (My friend's birthday is in 2 weeks, and I don't have all the materials to begin his gift! I HAD them, but I lost a key component. Shame on me.), and then head to Jay's for Family Dinner. Then back here for the "celebrations." My family's idea of New Years is going to a movie (theatres are empty) and playing board games until midnight. We're all usually in bed by 2am. I like it that way :) |
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(Ohana means family) |
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| Blah, blah, Christmas, blah, blah |
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| 07:06am 26/12/2002 |
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There's nothing more boring for a Jew-born pagan than Christmas, I swear. I'm not pagan enough to go about it in terms of Yule (although I gave some rather impressive lectures to people at work Tuesday about the origins of the Christmas tree, and how Jesus was born in August, not December. Hooray for English 341 and History 100W!)
Basically, I spend Christmas at Jay's house, and it was like any other holiday at Jay's house: An excuse to see Nicole in a fancy dress, and an even better excuse to eat. His mom gave me a bag full of stuff I could USE (razors, shampoo, cookies, vitamin C drops, chapstick, etc) which was nice, along with a REALLY comfy shirt. His brother (Joe) and Joe's gf Barbara gave me a $20 GC to Blockbuster (yay!) and a sample set of Estee Lauder stuff (she works for them, so I could get stuff probably 1/2 price, if not free). I don't wear makeup, but the lipstick in the sample kit was the EXACT shade to look really good on me, so I now have special-occasions lipstick :)
We were going to go see Harry Potter last night, but the weather put a big NO on that one. Its dangerous enough walking out there, let alone driving.
I bought myself two computer games to work on over break. Well, I started with one, but it SUCKED BALLS MAJORLY. So, even though it was opened, I was allowed to return it. (Hurrah for the cute-helpless-female routine with two male computer geeks behind the counter) I exchanged it even steven for Arcanum, and then bought Grim Fandango because the guy REALLY reccomended it. Arcanum is pretty decent, although I'm still learning the tricks. Grim Fandango ROCKS, although its one of those games that requires a walkthrough now and again. Okay, most of the time.
I think thats about it. I now have to go anorexic to counteract all the cookies I've eaten over the past few days. |
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(Ohana means family) |
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| So sweet.... |
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| 11:50pm 17/12/2002 |
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mood: pensive
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Now I understand why Sonnets from the Portuguese had been treasured for so long. For my life, I've avoided rhyming poetry, thinking it all about rules and meter. It is, but its so much more. It takes so much more THOUGHT to put things into a sonnet -- exactly sixteen lines, ten syllables per line, rhyming scheme depending on the English or Italian sonnets....
I bought a book a few days ago. Sonnets from the Portuguese, but also in the book are excerpts from love letters Robert Browning and Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote each other. She wrote these sonnets during their 3 year letter-writing-spree, and never told him. Everything that passed between them was so....full of emotion, so passionate.....so completely devoid of the concept of "interdependence." This is how real love was before people were so determined to be able to live alone.
I've always wanted that, no matter what front I put up. I've always wanted these kinds of love letters -- the ones that sound like the words are being dredged up from the deepest well of the soul. I've never had that. I've had a love poem here and there, but even in my online relationships, I never got even a nifty love email.
I want it like it was then. Words that mean something, handwritten on parchment, sealed with sealing wax, slipped under the door....
*sighs* Jay and I even HAVE parchment paper, sealing wax, and personal seals. We've had them over a year.
I'm romantic enough to want letters in a ribbon to go through when I'm older. I found, once, under the couch, letters my parents wrote to each other while they were dating and my father was on the road with the band. I didn't read them, but I thought, even then, how cool it was that they were kept. I want a pretty Chinese box with letters. Hell, even if I get something nice...email, whatever, on the computer....computers crash. Frequently.
*sighs* I guess I'm just daydreaming. This is the real world, and no one cares enough to put forth the effort for real love letters anymore. Why is that? When did love stop being worth the words, the time? When did people stop writing love poetry, even if it was bloody awful poetry? It was something. Nowadays, its all about stupid text messages through the cell phones. Fuck that! I want to hold it in my hands, and feel the love that went into it.
Where are the Robert Brownings anymore, anyway? |
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(2 family members | Ohana means family) |
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| 05:13pm 14/12/2002 |
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Every semester I do this. Every semester I hurt myself. I now have little half-moon nail indentations and shit on my arm. I don't mind the initial hurt; it makes me feel better. But this constant stinging now is for the birds. |
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(1 family member | Ohana means family) |
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| Definately a happy birthday. |
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| 11:28am 12/12/2002 |
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mood:  happy music: Cardigans - Lovefool
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My birthday itself wasn't anything really special. It never is. It always falls in the middle of the week and every year, without fail, it rains or snows on my birthday. Blah. I had school and everything, and it took me over an hour to drive home -- but that was partly my own fault. The rain was coming down in sheets and I have to drive home on the most notorious parkway -- the LIE (Long Island Expressway -- nothing express about it!) I made sure to be exceptionally careful. I actually had the thought "That's the last way I want to die, right now. In the dark, in the rain, in my car, and on my 22nd birthday."
Anyway, I made it home alright, obviously. What was waiting? The chess pieces Jay and I ordered for an "us" Yule gift. Hand painted polymer pieces, every single one a skull. Cool stuff. VERY pretty.
I didn't have a cake (food allergies) but I had some good cookies :) Made out pretty well -- got $75 in mall gift certificates, and an mp3 player from my parents! Good one too, holds about 30 songs. Excellent quality, and comes with a belt clip, too, so I don't have to stick it in my back pocket like I did my minidisc player.
I figured out what I'm spending that $75 on, too. A body-fat-analyzer scale. I've wanted one for over a year. While school and Jay and my parents are a bit part of my life right now, another HUGE part is my attempts to lose weight. I'm slowly walking the right path -- being a little more careful about what I'm eating is one. I allow myself junk, but I section it off. When I open a bag of chips, I immediately seperate them into 1oz bags, and only eat one bag at a time. I'm also on my elliptical trainer for 20-25 minutes a day (I'll probably up that to 30 soon.) and I lift weights about 3-4 days a week. This has been going on for almost two months and I've lost only 4 pounds. I may need to adjust my diet again, but what I think is happening is I'm losing fat and gaining muscle, and muscle weighs more, so I'm staying even. Therefore, I want to find out :P
Anyway, I'm decently happy about all that. Now I need to go eat something :) Happy birthday tonic2! |
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(2 family members | Ohana means family) |
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| Happy Birthday to me.... |
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| 08:27am 11/12/2002 |
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In exactly 5 minutes, I'll be 22 years old. Um... yay? A lot has happened in the last year. I lost my virginity, lost several friends, found old ones again, rediscovered beading, discovered that not all video games are crap. I discovered Wiccan authors that make me believe not all Wiccans are crystal-sucking, tree-hugging hippie wanna-bes. I found my power animals. I FINALLY cleaned my room! I've begun an exercise regime that I can stick to, and that is working. My mom got through the kidney transplant with complications, and she's still somewhat sick, but not dying anymore.
All in all, I think it was a really good year for me. Next to the whole transplant thing, the most important part of my year has been Jay. I'm not one of those woman who devotes my entire life to a romance (as he can attest), but it has been the best -- and, at times, the most stressful :P -- part of my year. I love him so much... and I never really manage to thank him for putting up with me and my neurotics. I got an email from him this morning with the most wonderful love poem I've ever been written (and I had a professional poet try.)
So here is :)
Your eyes like precious sapphire
Words of Love spun as gold
To be your knight I aspire
To be true, and strong, and bold
I need no praise to lift my heart
For no matter how far away or how long
You were my wings from the very start
My vision, my desire, my sweetest Song
Your touch to me is as warm as the Sun
Our lips meet with as with an Angel's grace
I know we were meant to be as one
Each time you fall into my tender embrace
The scent of your perfume is purest nectar
Your happiness my constant goal
Your presence wards away olden specters
Our romance is the haven of my Soul
So when by chance you may walk alone
Know that, if in spirit, I am there beside
And that nothing steel, nor wood, nor stone
Could seperate me long from my future bride
My heart is yours to have and hold
As we walk the years through pain and glory
Until we both are wisened, happy, and old
Having lived out the one true Love Story
I will always Love you . . . .
~ Happy Birthday ~
*grins* Isn't he the best? I'd love to expound on that 'best' theory, but I've GOT to hit Bolor if I'm going to make it to school on time today. Last day of classes! Yay! |
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(5 family members | Ohana means family) |
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