Wardensville HDJ Review - KAC-KA-PON Restaurant

The proximity of the Cacapon River to Wardensville makes one think that the name of this venerable old restaurant would be "KA-KAY-PON" which is more in keeping with the local (and therefore correct) pronunciation of "Cacapon." But no, the sign clearly implies that the pronunciation is more like "Kak-upon", which depending on the region you from which you hail, means something different, but equally disgusting. I won't go into it, but you may Google the slang word "Kak" and see for yourself.

I understand that it is distracting to begin a review with a discussion of the odd name of the restaurant, but in this case it is a perfectly fitting way to illustrate my experience there. I never quite got past the distraction of the name and I'm sure that my confusion affected the way I experience my hot dog.

Which was just as odd as the restaurant's name.

Now I know that Wardensville lies on the fringes of West Virginia, and I know that it is influenced by the food culture of the Other Virginia, but if you have a hot dog on the menu - on the adult menu right there next to other sandwiches - maybe you should make an effort.  When I order food in a full-service restaurant, I expect it to be complete when I get it. When I order a hot dog with chili, slaw, mustard and onions please do not bring a hot dog covered with so much chili that there is no room for anything else, and please do not bring the slaw and onions in specimen cups. And oh, by the way, please don't make me get up and go to the counter to ask for mustard.

And just for good measure, please use a bun that was delivered this week and hasn't been sitting out on the counter since yesterday afternoon.

Lest you think that I am being totally negative in this review, allow my to interject some kind words. The recent opening of a new section of Corridor H from Mount Storm to Moorefield makes the trip from Charleston to the DC area delightful. I highly recommend the route over the standard I64/I81 or I79/I68 alternatives. And Wardensville is a lovely little town and I recommend stopping. And KAC-KA-PON Restaurant is an otherwise good eating establishment, but just not for hot dogs.

1 Weenie

Charleston HDJ Review - Five Corners Cafe

In a location that formerly housed another HDJ (see review of Neighbormart here), Five Corners Cafe had a leg up on life simply by association Neighbormart had great hot dogs and if not for the intervention of the West Virginia Tax Department would no doubt be still serving them today. While it offends me to believe this I think I know that it is true: when you don't pay your taxes the state is glad to help facilitate change without regard to how good your hot dogs are. Sad.

Especially sad in this case because this change was NOT for the better, at least when it comes to hot dogs.

Spurred by this Daily Mail story about the new restaurant and buoyed by the hope that a staff of five of with 150 years of restaurant experience would have to make good hot dogs, I made my way over the Five Corners. Riding this wave of optimism, I forked over way too much money for 2 hot dogs ($2.39 each) and waited in glorious expectation for them to arrive. I waited, and waited and waited. 25 minutes later my two hot dogs arrived. And the chili had beans in it.

That sound you hear is the sad deflation of my formerly high expectations of getting good hot dogs.

Not only did the chili have beans, the slaw was tasteless. The bun was grilled unnecessarily and the weenie was charred from over grilling.

Perhaps the rest of the menu is better at Five Corners Cafe, but you only get one shot at a WVHotDogs.com. Fail. 1 Weenie. And that's generous.

Morgantown HDJ Review – Hometown Hot Dogs

Of all the HDJs I’ve reviewed so far, I don’t recall any giving me a sensation of panic as much as Hometown Hot Dogs in Morgantown. It is situated in a old, tiny block building adjoining the base of a house along University Avenue. Inside, you'll find a counter with some bar seats. If you suffer from claustrophobia, be warned that the two feet or so between each seat and the glass window quickly fill up with people waiting for place or pick up their orders. There is also a small dining area off to the side that can be accessed via a rather small passageway.

Common sense would dictate that most people know that if one was must cough when preparing food in a restaurant or similar establishment, then one should step away from the food, or at the minimum cover the mouth and nose with the pocket of the elbow. I watched in horror and disgust as one of the cooks proceed to cough her head off while preparing an order for a customer ahead of me who was fortunate enough to be oblivious to what was going on behind the counter. No gloves, no handwashing, nothing. This in and of itself was an automatic huge deduction in weenie points. Luckily for me, my order was prepared by a young gentleman who was quick to take and fill orders, but very slow to remember to stop and collect money from the customers who piled up quickly at the register.

As for the hot dog itself, it was a huge disappointment. I’ve been spoiled by the quality WVHDs that can be had at the Clarksburg, Fairmont, and Grafton locations. They had the same cool, creamy, sweet slaw and the medium chili seemed okay too. The bun, however, fell apart when I picked it up. This was likely a result of either the buns being over-steamed or the dressing in the slaw being too thin and runny. As if that weren’t bad enough, I couldn’t get that image of the other preparer hacking up a lung in the prep area. This marked the first time that I refused to finish an entire hot dog from Hometown.

I really do like the other Hometown Hot Dog locations that I’ve been too and consider them among my favorites. Sadly, I will have to put this location on my list of ones to avoid. Health and safety factors are just a bit more important. A one weenie rating for this HDJ.

Grafton HDJ Review - Grafton Dairy Queen

I recently ventured to Grafton in a hunt of all of the known HDJs in town. My first stop bought me to the Grafton Dairy Queen. I had passed this place time after time during my many ventures across Route 50, but never once stopped by to sample the goods. I was initially excited about paying a visit, mainly because I was hoping to be delivered from the DQ hell that had marred samplings at some of the north central DQs, particularly the one I wrote one of my earliest reviews about located in Shinnston.

I had a glimmer of hope that since this particular establishment had an original sign on top that dated back decades, that maybe...just maybe...this one would have an "in-house" hot dog (rather than the corporate "Brazier" version) that was seeped in tradition and great homemade taste. Well, it was definitely seeped in something.

A flag immediately went up upon discovering that no slaw was available. This wasn't the first time and certainly won't be the last, so I went for the remaining standard ingredients: chili, onion, and mustard. When the nice lady behind the window handed me my order, I quickly made my way back to my car with eager anticipation. When I unwrapped the dog, I didn't know whether to cry or laugh at the appearance.

The dog was soaked in chili sauce, which tasted like it had been prepared with tremendous apathy. It didn't even warrant dissecting to further identify the ingredients. The onions were finely minced, but tasted as though they'd been kept refrigerated too cold only to lose some of their flavor and then became too soft. The wiener tasted like it had been left in it's boiling pot of water far too long, making it leak into the bun and soften it to the point of disintegrating. The bun must've had something sitting on it before it was removed from the bag, because the wiener was the only thing that made it hold it's familiar shape. Perhaps it had been steamed with a clothes iron. It certainly tasted that way.

Simpy put, the hot dog was total mush. I can't find another word to describe it, other than perhaps "debacle". One weenie for the Grafton Dairy Queen.

Clarksburg HDJ Review - Worlds Collide at A&W

The A&W at the Eastpointe shopping center in Clarksburg is actually a combination A&W and Long John Silver’s restaurant. Both are brands of Yum! Brands Incorporated, the company that also owns the KFC, Pizza Hut, and Taco Bell. Yes, this is a review of a corporate chain. No, this isn’t going to be pretty for a lot of reasons.

To put it simply: don’t expect the soul you’d get from the better reviewed HDJs on WVHotDogs.com. If you can’t figure that out before you get there, take one look at the menu board and you’ll know that if you’re after hot dogs you’re in the wrong place. Chicken planks? Fish fillets? Crappy fries with vinegar? ‘Nuff said.

Just like a bad one night stand, the review of the hot dog offering is something I’ll long regret. Not actually writing the review, mind you, but rather the suffering that had to be endured for the case study. The “Coney Dog”, as it’s called, is the closest you’ll get to a WVHD. I was asked if I wanted it “as it comes”, which was with chili, onions, and mustard. I went along, and scanned the board for some cole slaw which I found listed on the Long John Silver’s side of the menu. At $1.09 for a small helping, it was too steep for some really crappy slaw. More on that shortly.

When my order was delivered by a rather confused teen who looked like he couldn’t tell if my order number was 98 or 86, it came in the dreaded stryo coffin. The slaw was leaking over the edges of its little container. I opened up the coffin and was promptly under whelmed by the barely warm bun. I reckon the bun was actually warmed by heat of the wiener itself rather than having been in a warmer of any kind. The wiener had a passable beefy flavor, but not much more than that. The onions were transparent, which tells me they were in no way freshly cut. The chili had a meaty flavor, but was otherwise very bland. Its dark brown color doesn’t speak of being overcooked, but rather of artificial color.

As for the slaw, like I mentioned before it's actually Long John Silver's slaw. LJS slaw is runny, runny, and more runny. It's way too sweet for any hot dog, and loaded with carrots. Nothing redeeming about it.

I noticed that on the styro coffin there was a slogan reading “The Coney Dog Preservation Society”. Typically corporate….selling out the legend of a wonderful hot dog. It’s safe to bet the originators of the Coney Dog are rolling over in their graves.

If I can give one bright spot to this place, it would only be the frosty mugs that are offered up for all the A&W root beer you can drink. Sadly, even their namesake beverage cannot make their hot dogs bearable. One weenie.

HDJ Review - DQ = Disqualified at the Shinnston Dairy Queen

I don’t know of many people who don’t like the ice cream at their local Dairy Queen. Unfortunately, I can’t say that I know of any people that like the hot dogs at the DQ in Shinnston.

Easily one of the most recognizable landmarks in this area of Harrison County, the “barn” is always busy year round. They offer the standard corporate menu and don’t deviate from it at all. When I went for an order of hot dogs, I was taken aback that the only other toppings offered (other than ketchup, mustard, onions, chili, and cheese) were the exact same offerings for the hamburgers. No slaw here.

These dogs are an abomination to all that is right and good to connoisseurs of WV hot dogs. Murphy’s Law was in full effect here: all that could go wrong did go wrong. The bun was stale and barely warm. The onions were flavorless, rough cut pieces. The wiener –what a devastating disappointment—was almost rubbery. The flavor was that of an over processed, brine saturated, festival of fillers. It says 100% beef on the sign, but I don’t know if we’re talking synthesized beef or what. The casing of the wiener had a strange --dare I say “chewy”-- consistency.

But the final nail in the coffin was the chili. Clearly, it’s a variation of Hormel’s canned chili. I don’t know who decided this was a good idea, but I’m willing to bet they had a half-dozen 9-volt batteries attached to their tongue before trying this. Numbed may be the only way one could tolerate it.

Bottom line: if you want ice cream, milkshakes, Blizzards, etc., then this is your place. If you want hot dogs, avoid at all costs. Rating: one weenie, and that’s being generous.

Putnam County Hot Dog Joint: Worst. Dogs. Ever. at Teays Valley Foodland

As you might expect, the gang at WVhotdogs.com gets bombarded with friendly recommendations regarding the quality of hot dogs at all sorts of locations across the state. Sometimes those suggestions pan out, but other times we are left scratching our heads.

Some of my friends in the Teays Valley had told me that the Foodland on Teays Valley Road makes decent hot dogs, so I figured that I'd at least give it a shot. These are friends that I have always trusted.

No more.

The Foodland is, of course, a supermarket and not really a hot dog joint, per se. The dogs come from their deli area located in the back of the store. When I pulled up to the deli counter, I first noticed that the weenies were floating in a greasy bath. While I like my dogs boiled and am not totally adverse to them hanging out in hot water for a bit before being served, I was reminded of why I would rather not actually see them doing so before hand.

The dog was prepared quickly and with a smile, which is always nice, and the price was right ($.79, by far the least expensive dog that I have reviewed thus far). but it goes downhill from there.

The bun was a straight-outta-baggie special and, as you can imagine from my earlier description, the weenie was less than stellar (this might have been a psychosomatic taste reaction as much as anything, however).

The sauce was thick-but-fluid and consisted of finely ground beef in a tomatoey base. Its flavor was very very sweet (too sweet, in fact) and a strong undertone of green pepper (imagine a crappy Manwich). 2 weenies.

The slaw was essentially sugared cabbage chunks with little mayonnaise. Sweet cabbage + sweet sauce = bad idea. One or the other, please. 1 weenie.

The best part of the dog was the mild onions and the mustard (which cut the saccharinesque taste of the dog thankfully and dramatically). It's never a good thing when the best part of a WV hot dog is the yellow mustard.

Overall, this is one hot dog to avoid and I only give it 1 weenie. Even at $.79, I still felt ripped off. Go to the nearby DQ or, better yet, hit up the Tudor's Biscuit World just down the road if you are in TV and want a dog. If you only have a buck and can't afford a dog at either of those places and are tempted by the the price, I would still recommend rummaging around in the gutters for dimes or just going hungry. Whatever you do, don't get their dogs.