It's a Swing and a Miss..I Hope

I hesitate to start yelling "SAFE" as the day isn't over but as I have said in my previous post, I am pretty secure in my belief that we will still be here tomorrow.

So what oddities have happened this week?   Let's recap some of the more creative thinkers among us.


Foul Ball


The Chicago Sun-Times reports that   Christine A. Meyers picked up her boyfriend from a bar on Friday.  However, on the way to their home in Tinley Park, the two got into a heated argument.  This is where the story took an odd turn.  The boyfriend got out of the car and laid down in front of it. (Should we ask the question...was alcohol involved in this choice?)

As you might imagine, this wasn't a wise move on his part.  Christine put the car in drive and purposely ran over him.  The boyfriend suffered severe burns to his chest and back and had the skin torn off his testicles.

The boyfriend was taken to the hospital and Christine was taken to jail.  Her lawyer tried to have her released on a $6000 bond but the judge responded "ARE YOU SERIOUS?'

The judge set bail at $100,000 for aggravated domestic battery. 

OK..was it just me?  At anytime during that story, did any of you say  "That took balls?"


Three Strikes and You're Out

An unknown man attempted to carjack three separate cars in a Target parking lot in Oceanside, CA on Thursday.

According to the police a man approached a woman getting out of her car around 2:50 PM.  He showed her what she believed to be a knife ordering her back into her vehicle. She got back into her car and drove away.  (Strike One)

The the man immediately approached another woman that was exiting her car.  This time he brandished a handgun and told her to get back into her car.  The victim ignored the man and ran into the store to report the incident. (Strike Two)

Then the man approached a third car.  He attempted to steal the car at gunpoint. He asked the car's owner to remove the club device on the steering wheel and leave the keys in the car.  The victim did exactly what she was told. HOWEVER, when she walked away she activated a kill switch that killed the engine and locked him in the car.  (Strike Three)

Unfortunately, he smashed out the window and escaped the scene. He remains at large.

He is a better escape artist than he is a carjacker.


Stealing a Base and Heading Home

Two bank robbers who broke out of a high-rise jail in Chicago hailed a cab for their getaway car.  The two men escaped from the Metropolitan Correction Centre in downtown Chicago early on Tuesday morning.

The pair broke out a window in the cell they shared, squeezed through a 6 inch opening (great reason to remain slim)  and lowered themselves 20 stories.  (Seriously..??)  The escape was noticed the following morning when employees noticed approximately 200 ft. of knotted bedsheets hanging down the side of the building.

The two men, Joseph Jose Banks and Kenneth Conley are being sought by the FBI, U.S. Marshalls Service, and the Chicago Police Department.

Update: After an extensive manhunt in the communities of New Lennox and Tinley Park, Banks was captured.  An ongoing investigation is continuing to figure out how the two inmates got over 200 feet of sheets and dental floss used to make their rope. Conley remains at large.

Seems as if Tinley Park has had a busy week.  Bank Robbers and Mad Girlfriends.  It is curious about all the sheets.  Are extra clean sheets one of the perks of jail?

Around the Water Cooler 10/7/2011

The major news this week is the passing of Apple founder, Steve Jobs.  Whether you like Apple products or not, this man played a major role in the way the world communicates. 


The are other stories out there that you might have missed.  We can't have that...so here are a few lesser reported stories.






Advertising that Works

Last month the officials in Chicago, sent mailings to 10,000ish offenders to invited them to participate with a company called C.W. Marketing to try out  and rate appliances.  In exchange for their feedback, participants would receive $75.00 and keep the appliance that they tested according to the letter.

While many went unanswered and others came back as "undeliverable", more than 100 lucky participants...errr..stupid law breakers...made appointments to participate in a product survey.  In "Operation C.W. Marketing" 102 persons  wanted in traffic offenses, unpaid child support and contempt of court cases were lured to come participate in the supposed marketing campaign that would net them plasma TVs, video game systems and cash.

 As the offenders came to the designated sight of the marketing event, undercover officers welcomed them to the party.  The offenders were greeted with officers wearing bright colored T shirts and balloons.  Empty plasma TV boxes and game system boxes lent to the authenticity of the big event.  After the fake celebration was under way 102 fugitives were arrested, but not until after the participants had their pictures taken and their identity confirmed.

What a major disappointment.  No TVs...no gaming systems...just handcuffs.




With Friends Like This


Denver - A man accused of driving around Denver with a dead friend in the back of a car and running up a bar tab with the dead man's credit card maintains he thought his friend was drunk and NOT dead.

Haven't we seen this story
before?

At least that is what he was saying at his court hearing on Thursday where he was being charged with abusing a corpse.  (really?  that is the charge?)


Investigators say that Robert Young and Mark Rubinson drove around town with the body of their friend, Jeffrey Jarrett in August. According to them, Jeffrey had passed out.


According to the policed, the two men found their friend passed out when they went to pick him up for a night on the town.  Finding him passed out didn't deter the outing.  They loaded him into the back seat and went to a bar.  Jeffrey remained in the car, while his buds went in and drank for more than an hour. The two "conscious" partiers did have the presence of mind to grab Jeffrey's credit card to pay for the drinks.


It was noted in the police report that they didn't have Jeffrey's consent to use the card.


After coming out of the bar, Young and Rubinson discovered that their friend was actually dead and called the police.   After that was taken care of the two continued on to a strip club.


No need to waste a night of partying worrying about a drunk or dead (hard to tell which) friend.




Third Time's the Charm


Charles Burnett, 29 robbed the same Sovereign Bank of more than $26,000 before being apprehended this week.   This is not some run-of-the-mill bank heist though.  

The chauffeur that was hired to drive the
OCD robber to the bank

Charles started on Monday and 9:19 for the first installment of his crime spree.  He pushed a customer out of the way and shoved a bag towards the teller, saying he had a gun and would shoot her if she didn't hand over the money.  She gave in $2, 258.


The very next day he returned to the SAME bank demanding another teller to hand over the cash after telling her that he was going to "blow off her f***** face".  He left with $14,000.


AGAIN...the next day...third day in a row at the same bank, Charles goes back to demand for the 3rd time that the teller hand over her cash but not before an employee had shouted out "That is the same dumbass that robbed us yesterday!" 


After getting $10,002, Charles was tracked down after a short chase by police officers in the area that recognized him from pictures. Those would be pictures at the police station  that had been put up the previous day from security camera footage.


Upon apprehending him police found receipts for his room at the Hyatt and the chauffeured luxury SUV that he had hired for his get-away car. 




Is anything better than customer loyalty to your bank?




Before Stealing Know Who You Are in Line With


Williston, FL - A would-be bank robber picked the wrong time and LINE to steal a charity jar off of the counter at a Florida convenience store.

Falling through a plate glass door
doesn't aid in the ability of
sign holding.

Williston Police Chief, Dennis Strow says that Michael Wayne Aurilio went to steal a jar containing $35.78 but didn't realize the person behind him in line was an off-duty Marion County Sheriff Deputy. As Sgt. Willima Dietrich tried to take Aurilio into custody the two fell through a plate glad door. Meanwhile Williston police officers arrive to take Aurilio into custody.


Aurilio was charged with robbery and felony battery on a law enforcement officer.


I dare say, he might be thinking all of this wasn't worth $35.78.






What's Not To Like?

Carlsbad, N.M. - A Texas man is facing battery charges after police say he hit his estranged wife and pulled her hair because she didn't respond to his Facebook status update. 


The Carlsbad Current-Argus reports the Benito Apolinar of Pecos, was arrested on Monday following a fight at the home of his ex, Dolores Apolinar.   According to the complaint, Benito posted a comment about the anniversary of his mother's death and expected his ex-wife to acknowledge it by hitting the "like" button.


Benito pleaded guilty to one charge of battery.


That could of gone either way.  If she hit "like" does that mean she liked his comment or that his mother died.

The Good for the Day....The wait is over.  The men of First Parish in Framingham have done a calendar called "Celebration 2012".  Twelve elderly men have put together a nude calendar to raise some money.  You can order it on line. 

http://uuframingham.org/fpfcalendar/preview.html




The Bad for the Day....If you can't think of something bad, your aren't even trying.

The Weird for the Day.... Things to do to improve your mug shot or NOT.  A Missouri man that is a known sexual offender was arrested for being to close to a playground.  He has changed somewhat in appearance since an earlier arrest in 2003.

CCCCRRRREEEEEPPPPPYYYY!!!!!!!