Annie's Heartshards & the Hounds of Hell

[BrianIsSmilingAtYou]

.
and I will write in the sound of rust,
jagged lace, an acrid dust, dried
blood of snake and you will eat
the words I write. each slash
and stroke a nail, a grain of sand

and when you cry and swallow rough,
I'll murmur oil of lemons and
sow your throat with salt

.

I like a lot of what you have here in the thread, but the sounds of this one in particular, and the intriguing juxtapositions, caught me.

BrianIs AtYou

[senia]

Thank you for being supportive. I don't know if I am doing this or not but I sincerely appreciate the kind words. We'll see what happens.

[senia]

.
My poems are dead fish--words dull as silver scales.
Metaphors flop, gasp in their futility. Mouth-hooked
and wrested clean from the sea, their eyes blind-film.
Time was, they would quicksilver flash, plunge
the depths of uncharted topography. Shipwrecked
love, reefs of fragile gleam, night-terror caves
of memory, my fish nudged the silt and corals,
swam fearless miles. Some days, I would cast
a net into the water. Shallow, deep--it didn't matter,
the haul was plentiful, the hold full to overflowing
with a genius of fin and tail, gill and scales. Now,
my lines foul. I struggle to catch enough to eat.


Collaborative poem between Alexandrite and me!

[Hydro]

Annie, I'm really glad to see you back in the game... nice one.

So, who should I congratulate for this catch? I'll say well done to both of you. I don't think those shoals of shiny words have escaped you as you say they have. What struck me as I read was how much this poem could apply to and speak about. I felt a real sense of loss, regret and bleakness as I read. I've read so much poetry over the last couple of weeks that it's hard to emotionally 'hook' me now... but this did.

It's a strong return, honestly, no fluff.

[PClem]

Welcome back! This is a soul sucker this year, isn't it? Must have something to do with the political climate or economy or something. As usual, though, both you and Alex have managed to develop a great metaphor for NOT being able to write. Hell, Annie, your crits could be poems in themselves.

[senia]

What we did was write alternate lines, bits. It was great fun and I want to thank Alex for making it easy. I had a blast--and that is what writing should be--fun, fun fun. Love you , Alex.


So who wrote what? Hmm, can you tell?

[Hydro]

Ooh, can I have a stab?

My only thought, Annie, was that you do like your compound words, I've noticed. So I was fishing for those. But maybe saying 'every line with compound words is yours' would be a bit mechanical. Heh.

[PClem]

It is very well done. Hard to tell when one poet leaves off and the other starts. This is a great idea!

[new leaf]

I agree - it is pretty seamless, and still swims.

Kudos to the team.

[Emilio]

I really liked this! Great job guys. I'm going to buy you a beer. But you'll have to split it.

XOXOXO

[kamala]

Hi Annie,
good to see you back. And you're no further behind than I am so I do hope you'll carry on... Liked your Catch of the day (intriguing figuring out which is whose :-) ) but your earlier ones struck many good notes too. Don't ask is sticking in my memory, for now, I love the torrent of sounds.
Hope you have some fun this month,
K.

P.S. hope the toe's better - I definitely feel for you! Seems to be an epidemic on at the moment. :-(

[bop]

Annie and Alex,

'Catch of the Day'

I'm sure I've read this before, but I repeat myself when under stress.

Your collaboration is innovative and inspired. In the parlance hated by Mods, this flowed seamlessly! If this is autobiographic then L1 is inaccurate. I love the darting fish of Lines 4 to 7 (and I keep trying to push 'Finding Nemo' out of my mind).

I'm sure that if you go deep enough, there are plenty of fish left in the sea. Warning ... cliché ... cliché! They might be sightless, pale things lurking on the seabed, but they are there.

Glad you're back Annie.

bop

[HowardM2]

Glad y ou're back in. The collaboration seems like a good idea to kickstart things.

[Sorry]

Hello Annie,
I like the theme. Wish I'd thought of it. Word Problem is ice-cream cool and sweet. Your pissed off poems are wicked, I am enjoying muchly. Got any salt? I think here's something fishy about today's perspectve, though .. Looks like you have a li'l catching up to do too, huh. I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with next, have fun!
Sorry

[January Poet]

Annie- I really like your 'Catch of the Day", very cool idea you both had. Nice execution on it too. If your poems are dead fish then I wouldn't mind being the fisherman that catches them. I feel like a "fish out of water" amidst you all here at NaPo.