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Queer Parents: An Oxymoron? Or just Moronic?
By Stephanie Schroeder 
It seems that queer parents, even activists and former activists with the most radical credentials, are diving headlong into a new kind of "activism": "inclusiveness," family values and queer parenting "activism." Is this REALLY activism? Does being a parent, even a gay or lesbian one, translate into any radical concept? It certainly does change the definition of family, especially when there exists a more than a two opposite-gender parent configuration, but is it de facto radical-or pansexual-to be a queer parent? Doesn't it actually dilute the community, the energy and talent pool of committed, or at least armchair activists? Does now writing a check for a cause or organization we used to people, demonstrate for in the streets, get arrested at or participate in in some other way really replace frontline bodies and grassroots activism? Because we can't get a babysitter? Is raising a feminist son or a daughter of the queer community an end in itself? I've been wrestling with these questions since my former partner and I "decided" to have a child five years ago after five years together. I actually never envisioned myself as a parent: I had a decidedly miserable childhood and when I was growing up lesbian, lesbians didn't have children, at least not that I knew of. I also didn't think I would ever want to give up my own private time, life adventures, activism and writing assignments to the mundane, dreary, crazy dailinessness that became my life four years later. I have a bright, sunny, cheerful and handsome four-year-old son, who brings joy to me at odd moments, like when a broad grin spreads across his face when shown a brochure about the Big Apple Circus and asked if he would like to attend a performance. It really does send chills down my spine to see such simple and innocent joy on his face and in his heart that it makes me smile inside and experience, for a glance in time, the pure and simple joy of a happy childhood. Previous | Next
 | | ABOUT STEPHANIE
Stephanie Schroeder is a writer who lives in New York City and runs Pushy Broads Consulting Services. She is negotiating the minefield of lesbian ""divorce"" since she and her partner of ten years split a few months ago. This piece was written while she was knee-deep in daily family life-the editorial changes made to the piece reflect her new living (and loving) situation. Contact: ses4j@erols.com |
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