It's up to us: what will we do about bullying?

Today's post was written by my 16 year old daughter. Please read it, I think she has something important to say. xoxo T.

Tyler Clementi.

Asher Brown.

Seth Walsh.

Justin Aaberg.

Raymond Chase.

William (Billy) Lucas.

You might not have heard these names. These are all boys who committed suicide in the last few months after being bullied due to their sexual orientation. Who knows what they felt? Alone, ostracized? Like life wasn't worth living. Like they didn't matter? Their acts of desperation could have gone unnoticed. Thing is, we saw. The internet saw. First one, then another, then hundreds, then thousands of people took a stand. In their own way, everyone said that these boys…and so many like them…matter.

Then, the internet spoke. (Well, it didn't really. It's inanimate. Go with me here, I'm making a point.)

It started with an idea.

Social media spread the idea to quite literally thousands of people.

The idea was simple: wear purple (the color of spirit on the LGBTQ flag) on October 20, 2010 in memory of those boys, and for all the other kids out there who may feel the same way.

So today, I wore purple. To my surprise, there were other kids in my (conservative Christian) class who wore purple. Not to mention the thousands of people all around the world. Teachers, parents, talk show hosts. We took a stand against bullying, against the idea that what happened to these boys was okay.

Bullying is common now. Before, insults were thrown in front of a class, maybe twenty people. Now, cyber bullying is the norm. Hateful anonymous comments, bringing down the person in front of everyone on the internet...whole schools. But kids will be kids, right? They need to suck it up. Learn to ignore it. A common answer to the problem, and not a solution.

But you know what?

I think it's going to be my generation that changes it. We know social media. Some of us communicate mostly through email, facebook and texting. We get how to make a difference. And we do. My generation will be the one that steps up and says it isn't okay.

It isn't okay to make fun of someone. To discriminate based on age, or race, or sexual orientation or disability or intelligence or anything else.

It isn't okay to have an Us vs. Them mentality.

It isn't okay to talk about how loving God is and then hate anyone who is different.

It isn't okay.

And when that happens, when we step up…it will change.

In 1983, D.A.R.E (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) was founded. It has changed lives. Imagine what it could be like if there was a similar approach to bullying. In one generation, D.A.R.E made drugs uncool. Nearly every school age kid knows what the red ribbon means. If something similar could be accomplished for bullying...imagine what could happen.

Hate is learned and we need to lead by example. The things we learn in kindergarten can affect the rest of our lives. If we start from the bottom and work up, we can change hearts. If we could show from the beginning that bullying isn't okay...just imagine it.

If we change the mindset behind bullying, imagine how drastically different our world might be.

It's going to start with us.

Now, don't just imagine it. Let's make it a reality.

The password is... PASSWORD..NO! Thank you for playing

Do you use your kids' names as a password? Your pet's name, that you talk about on your blog? You might want to rethink that strategy. Seriously. I have a friend right now in shock because she had an easy-to guess password. Someone hacked her gmail account. She lost everything. This includes her email, her blogs (which were on Blogger, owned by, who else? Google). What's more, her passwords were in a folder, in her gmail account. So, the person who hacked her has it all. She is left with nothing and is scrambling to undo the damage that can be done all over the Internet. Meanwhile, she is locked out of everything Google. Can you imagine? Another reason computing in the Cloud has me a bit a-skeered...Google owns my life.

It is easy to get lax, but here's the deal, from me to you. If you have a word from the dictionary as a password, change it, RIGHT NOW. I'll wait. ...

...are you back? This is why: there are programs that just run dictionary words and common numbers trying to hack your password. Make no mistake, there are people out there, right now, as I write this, trying to hack you. A combination of letters, numbers and upper and lower case characters are the best chance you have to keep those out who want in to your accounts. Go ahead, make use of that shift bar. Also, while I am on the subject, make a new password for every single service you use online. I know it's a pain, but this way, if someone gets into one, they don't necessarily get into everything.

I know, I know..it's hard to keep track of that many passwords, but you have some options. If you are on a Mac, you have Keychain to help you. You can store passwords, but also generate them as well. On a PC, you can use Password Safe, an application that you download and use locally. It creates files for your passwords, and a master password to protect them all. What's more, it is open source, so you don't pay anything for it. As for what you find on the Internet, I would be very, very wary of any online password meters. How do you know that your password is not being snarfed? Keep it local! It's also smart to write those puppies down in case you have a hard drive crash. This actually happened to me in July, and I lost half of my passwords. Luckily, I did have most of them written down, and backed up.

I don't want to hear that you have been hacked, so change that password. Change it often. And store your passwords locally, not ONLINE where they can be hacked. Your online identity, treat it the way you would your bank information. Treat it the way you would your first born child. Guard it.

Consider this my public service announcement to all of you. Much love. Peace out.

T, who changed mine the minute I heard about this

How Do You Tweet? 4 Twitter Applications You Might Want To Try

With so many desktop applications out there for twitter so that I can feed my habit,I wanted to enable you review my top 4. I have used many, these stand out. I am still on the search for the perfect solution...and I like to play with tech. So, here goes:

Power Twitter:

Power Twitter is an add-on for Firefox. I used to use this, and it is quite good. It augments the twitter web page, so you actually access twitter through the web page. But some of the things that Power Twitter allows you to do:

• see links as actual names of links, huge plus because of the twitter vulnerabilities that were exploited a few months ago.
• has embedded media, both pictures and video..no need to click the links to see it, it shows up in your stream
• does not have search
• does not have groups or columns, it is straight twitter web interface
• mouseover avatars for recent tweets

I like Power Twitter, and is is a good choice if your followers are quite manageable. But I found that I needed something that allowed me to organize a bit better. So I switched to TweetDeck.

TweetDeck:

• Is a stand-alone application based upon Adobe Air that you download and use on your desktop
allows groups and columns according to how you set them up. You can have groups of friends, business, people who make you laugh..use your imagination
• allows searches to be incorporated into columns, so you can follow a topic site-wide, regardless of whether you follow the person. It updates automatically, just as your regular stream
• allows you to do everything with a follower simply by scrolling over the avatar. Reply, DM, Retweet, add to group, delete a tweet, everything can be done by mouseover. This, in my opinion, is the best feature of TweetDeck. Fast, and easy.
• Allows easy color change from Settings if you don't like black background and white type. I do not.
• reply window is right at the top, where you would naturally put your mouse
• allows adding Facebook to your columns to check friends' status at a glance (does not include messages or comments on the pages)
• only allows 10 columns, so you may run out of room if you have a lot of separate groups. I have over 3,000 friends 4 groups and a permanent search, and still have columns left, however
• Does NOT show link names, a weakness in my opinion
• does not have embedded media, again, a weakness

I was satisfied with TweetDeck, but some others were talking about Destroy Twitter. Faithful in relationships, I let my fickleness surface when it comes to tech toys. So I tried it.

Destroy Twitter:

• another stand-alone app with Adobe Air downloaded for desktop
• allows you to adjust the size by choosing regular or expanded view
• does not allow stretching of window, or a horizontal scroll bar, instead you must tab to see other columns, which I find cumbersome
• not as easy as TweetDeck to see search, you cannot have all columns showing at the same time
• colors are not as easy to change, but the Theme Builder at the site is extensive and allows you to upload your theme, and change them with ease. Once you realize where it is. Similar to Google themes
• allows exclusion of terms as well as global search
• has a beautiful user interface, artsy and well-thought out.
• supports, choice of is.gd, bit.ly, digg and migre.me, for links; for pictures: Twitgoo, TweetPhoto, TwitPic, Posterous, Mobypicture and img.ly
• I do miss the placement of the tweets window..in TweetDeck it is at the top, in Destroy Twitter it is in the left hand corner.
• also miss the ease of replies, DMs and all operations through mouseover on avatars like in TweetDeck
• does not convert URLs to names
• does not show media in the stream, still have to click on links in order to see pictures or video

Not able to leave well enough alone, I heard that Seesmic had an update, so I had to check that one out, too. DId I mention I am fickle?

Seesmic:

• also a downloadable desktop client application
• only one color option that I can see, but it is readable, gray background with light blue. Still, if you don't like blue, you may not enjoy the user interface..I found the colors uninspiring
• allows creation of groups, I am told an unlimited amount
• URL, image and shrink text (shorten URLS) buttons at the top, under the reply window
• support for multiple accounts (yay!) at the same time. This is huge!
• Facebook support
• can stretch window to the size you want
• has referenced tweets, underneath it mentions who the reply was to
• each column is a different color; in the future, being able to choose your own colors would be handy
• media also not shown in stream, must click on URLs to see it
• has the icons on the avatar, like TweetDeck. Love this feature, it is intuitive
• can drag columns into the order you want them. Also a great feature
• search is very easy, with a text box at the top right
• easy to add search columns, also
• cuuute (via my son) raccoon icon

Since I am reviewing these apps and I actually use them, let me tell you what I want (what I really, really want) If you wanna be my lover want me to LOVE your twitter client:

• Give me the look of Destroy Twitter, customizable themes
• URL names and media incorporated directly into my stream, a la Power Twitter
• searchable and columns, like TweetDeck, but make the column number unlimited or at least more than TEN
• multiple accounts supported, like Seesmic
• other social media platforms supported, digg, Jaiku, Pownce, Identi.ca, and RSS, to name a few, like gwibber (which is not available unless you do Linux, but has the right ideas, anyway)

So there you have it..my take on the desktop twitter applications I have tried. What did I miss? Which one do you just get excited over??

T, who is waiting for that great app, get with it, developers!

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Look! I'm a Star! (ok, so only in my head..)

Hey everyone! Today I am appearing on Special Needs Kids Talk Radio, so come check it out! 10 a.m. PST and 1 p.m. EST (noon, CST). We are going to talk about autism, homeschooling and what it's like being the "odd one out" in my family. You can listen by clicking on the link, and then the little special needs square takes you to the show. If you register, you can also chat and ask questions for me to answer on air. Come and listen!

From the website:

We are talking to Tina Cruz today about homeschooling her 3 kids and being the only "normal" person in her household, which makes her the strange one. Tina has a great sense of humor, despite her trials and tribulations

This is the first time I have done this, so let me know you are listening. I am terrified bewildered nervous!

T, who hopes I don't stutter and say "uhm..." a lot

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In the Scheme of Things, Does it Really Even Matter?

forgive me, but after today, with attending little Maddie Spohr's memorial, I am not so in the mood to write..so you get just a short blurb.

This last weekend, my beloved twitter was attacked by an evil 17 year old kid with too much time on his hands. Because I don't want to give him any more press than he is already getting...this made me think about security online, and how, well, it doesn't exist. Twitter is from the Belkin school of security, clearly, and well, this cartoon from User Friendly says it all...(click to enlarge)

I am holding out though. I need my twitter. I just wish they would get more serious about security.

T.

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Quick! You Have 140 Characters To Tell Me How Much I Rock: Go!

Hey, and welcome if you came for the Ultimate Blogger Party! What? Over here, in the corner. What am I wearing? Oh. It's not a lampshade! ..it's a hat. Whut? Never mind! Grab a drink! And some chocolate, don't forget some chocolate. Let's talk about blogging, because, well, what else would you talk about at a party for bloggers? And remember, this is a conversation, so your input is wanted...

In the beginning, when I started three years ago, comments were currency. You "paid your respects" by leaving a quick comment for the owner of the blog. It was your calling card. If you cared enough to read, you left evidence that you had been there. In return, the blog owner often would visit you once in a while. It was a lot of fun.

As the Blogosphere ballooned exponentially, it was no longer possible to comment on every blog you visited. It became harder to get noticed and find a core readership. When the marketing of blogging took off, suddenly, blogging was a business, not just a pasttime, and everyone had a blog. Who had time to comment?

I have been noticing for a while now that though my comments have decreased, my traffic has increased. While I love that new people are finding me, I would really like it if you came out of hiding, so I can get to know you. I started blogging for the community, and the connection to others. But I have noticed that unless you are one of these rock star awesome bloggers with a legion of loyal subjects, your comments won't be where most of your interaction comes from.*

*Barring giveaways to entice people to your blog and "extra" chances to enter contests by tweeting your link, subbing to your feed in order to increase your exposure...all things I won't do here. I may, from time to time, do a giveaway, but I won't force you to tweet my link or subscribe to my feed or blog about my contest... that feels disingenuous to me. It's not the way I roll.

::tap, tap, is this thing on?:::

But if you're like me, you will keep writing, and hope the writing pulls the unsupecting victims minions worshippers readers in, and that your wit and aplomb keeps them here.

Enter twitter. With 140 characters to say just what's on your mind, twitter revolutionized the blogging scene. For some, it became a time suck, and their blogs weren't so important. We call them "microbloggers." For others, it became a way to stay connected to those they blogged with and meet new bloggers. There were almost as many ways to use twitter as there were twitter accounts!

Jump to today. I will often tweet a blog post, and it would seem that twitter has become the new blog comment forum. Followers will comment on the post, via twitter, and not on the blog itself. So I will check stats and comments on my blog and feel mildly discouraged to find few (compared to last year when the comments were more plentiful) Then I will remember that comments and kudos came through my twitter stream. It would appear that Twitter is the new comment system.

But I think I kind of miss the old one.

Just an aside, I think Comment Luv is one of the best things to happen to blogging. I love clicking on the last post that someone links through my comments. Might it be you?

T, who says come out, come out, whoever you are

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THAT'S How Much I Love YOU!

Image by greggoconnell via Flickr

There have been some great comments lately on Send Chocolate, and since I really believe in the community of blogging, I wanted to be able to expand upon the discussion. So I added Comment Luv to the comments. This allows you to showcase your next post, which I think is pretty cool. So, please, take advantage of it. The only negative, if you could call it that is that now Blogger members won't have their pretty little icons showing. But, you can participate however you choose:

Guest, w/ name and no registration

Guest, include name and info, without registering

Register w/ Comment Luv which takes 5 minutes, I swear, that's all. Then you can put your picture and all sorts of stuff in.

I even enabled video comments, so let's see how that goes.

I can even allow integration with Facebook, but I am still thinking on that one.

I did this so that we can enjoy the conversation, so don't let me down! Comment. Also, this way I can get you more information if you need it.

T, who is excited about this change