BLACK FRIDAY IS HERE

AND SO IS MY NEW VIDEO
sorry I've been away so long. the fucking Corn Monster
has gone and caught up with me and stuff. I'm dealing
with a ton of personal shit at the moment, yup... but I'm
going to try to get back into a regular writing habit soon.
hey, in the mean time, though, well, enjoy the new video...

PENGA, MY ASS

HALLELUJAH, MOTHERFUCKERS!
fuck. really? 2 months? don't know what to say, except that
my Summer has been filled with Nurse Dish, ice cream, hot
dogs, Insect Zoos, Underwear, and... The Corn Monster. yup.
so, then, what the living fuck am I here for now... ? umm. it's
5:00 am, i just got off a night shift, my boss is a FuckTard. ?
no shit, fuckin' 'tarded. no love lost for the fuck, let's just say
the world's gonna be a better place when he dies. you bet...

FULL METAL PENGA

FULL METAL VERGA
anyone who's ever seen this movie will surely understand.
anyone who speaks Spanglish will definately understand.
Private Joker. Private Cowboy. R. Lee Motherfucking Ermy.
you bet. yup. boyo!

JURASSIC PORK

90 FOOT DINOSAURUS REX...
... it's Jurassic. it's Pork. hey, it's Jurassic Pork! holy fuck,
a 90-foot Dinosaurus Rex? here, in Washington, D.C.? oh,
my. serves me right to wait so long to check out the local
landmarks and attractions. wait a minute, that ain't right
at all! I made a concerted effort to visit the Smithsonian
Institute 3 years ago when I first got to this area... only to
learn that the State of Virginia is too fucking cheap to put
a sign or two on the Interstate telling you which exit you
are supposed to take to get there. fucking bastards. yup.
needless to say, the $200 I had set aside for that special
day went for something other than the sightseeing prices
and souvenirs I had planned on buying. ya know what,
though, I went this last week. it was almost as good as I'd
heard. good thing that original two hundred dollars went towards liquor...