In the course of human events here at
casa Billll, the kids decided that the wife's TV was in need of an
upgrade. Not only the TV, but the furniture it sat on, which would
have been too small for the new TV they were envisioning. They also
figured that they could include us on future SILs family plan which
would expand the available list of time wasters available.
The kids duly took the Wife out
shopping to a furniture store where FSIL had some favors waiting and
came back with a TV big enough to be watched from across the street.
Call me an old fogy, but as a child, the TV was generally demonized
as some kind of plot to produce fat, brain dead, kids who would be
easy pickings for the onrushing hordes who were probably commies, and
wanted our country and our TVs. Thus the admonition to “Go Play”
with the word “outdoors” unspoken but clearly understood. The
flickering screen was not called an entertainment center, but pretty
universally “boob tube.” Oh yes, and back then that referred to
the watchers rather than the programming.
They also noted that Wifey's phone was
woefully out of date, and arranged to get her a new one. This seems
to include new icons, new buttons, the discontinuation of tapping the
icons, replaced by swiping them, and several other updates to the
point that when the living room furniture had been rearranged to
accommodate the new TV, very little in the way of operational
training had been imparted. There also seemed to be no operating
manual included. All updates were presupposed to be intuitive.
Eventually we noticed that the owner needed to set up the phone so it
would actually ring when called, something that was not automatically
included. There is also some clever combination of swipes required
just to answer a call, assuming you knew one was coming in. My
daughter spent about 2 hours training d”wife on the phone, and left
muttering that training time would come out of the time she would
otherwise have spent finding us a nice nursing home. Also the
remaining time before she started getting us installed in one.
Anyway, the old TV holder, some 5 ft
wide, six feet tall, and 18 inches deep, and the bookshelf next to it
had, over the years, become the resting place of every piece of
detritus to float through the living room, and when it was replaced
with a piece from the basement, 6-1/2 feet wide and 2 feet high, all
the detritus got moved to the floor. Admittedly most of it should
have been moved to a dumpster, but one was not immediately available
and setup time was a-wastin'. The piece from the basement is ½ of a
stackable assembly which served the same function as the now removed
piece from upstairs, so it too was covered with “stuff” which now
resides on the floor down there. Most of the downstairs stuff is of
the same status as the upstairs stuff so the required dumpster is
getting larger and more trips up and down the stairs are called for.
The new TV being installed, and the
cables plugged in, it seemed that it wasn't giving us all the
channels we had before. Much fussbudgeting and a visit from a
technician later, it seems that although the TV was “smart” and
“HD”, HD input was not asked for in the contract, so is not
available. Cables from the box to the set must be the old RCA type
and not the HDMI that came with the box upgrade. You would think that
a “smart” TV would notice little stuff like this and put up a
warning on the screen: “Yo! Dummies! Upgrade your contract or use
the other cable set!” It also seems that due to better speakers,
when the sound is good enough to be heard in the living room, it can
also be heard anywhere in the house. I suggested some big styrofoam
Corinthian columns, one on each side of the TV to deflect the sound
away from the hallway, but this got vetoed. Even when I suggested a
Temple frontage across the top with friezes and statuary of gods on
top, say, Cthulhu and Aphrodite. Some people have no appreciation for
the classics. All that's left now is the cleanup so I'm looking for a
front loader that will fit through the doors.