I Did It: I Came Out to the Twin

And it went really well. :)

I just walked in, said, “hey, I need to tell you something. I'm gay.”

Eric(his name): “Ok. Why are you telling me this now?”

Jason: “Because I'm going to tell my friends soon, and naturally, it will get out at school. I want you to know ahead of time. I told Mom and Dad a while ago. This should not be a surprise, right?”

Eric: “Well, I don't make assumptions... Why didn't you tell me when you told mom and dad?”

Jason: “You weren't there... ”

Eric: “Oh. Ok. I'm not sure how my friends will react. I'll be rooting for you, but I just don't know how they feel about it. I think they are tolerant though.”

Jason“I think the kids in our grade will be fine with it. It's the younger ones who are immature about it.”

Eric: “Ya, I agree. And I commend your bravery. I'm impressed.”

[Enter discussion about random homophobes at our school]

Jason: Please don't tell anyone until I am officially out. It should happen within a few weeks. Also, please do not bring it up tonight. The adults are rather homophobic. One is from Kentucky and makes gay jokes and another is of the anti-gay evangelical group.

Eric: “Ya. Of course I won't tell anyone. You know what's funny. I thought gay people were supposed to be stylish. What happened to you? You don't fit the stereotypes. You don't have a high pitched voice. You don't have a lisp either.”

Jason: “Oh, I know. I'm a terrible gay. It kinda sucks because I wish I were fashionable. I have to take girls shopping with me. I don't know any musicals, I can't sing. It sucks. But, I sorta have a lisp now because these temporary crowns do not fit properly.”

Eric: “Oh good. Now you can cruise and pick up gay guys.”



You guys were right. It went better than I could have imagined. This is how coming out should be. We were joking about it within minutes. He was so supportive. He even seemed to grasp that this was a difficult thing to do and said he would support me at school.

I'm so happy. This went so well. It's great. I'm all smiles, and now I'm rocking out to Lady Gaga

I guess it goes to show that even though we aren't very close, he is still there for me just as I am still there for him. I think we'll start to grow closer after this; at least, I hope we do.

Now I'm drunk with happiness. I feel like I could take on the world. I'm planning on coming out to my friends tomorrow, and I feel like it will be a piece of cake. You can expect a post tomorrow about why I'm doing this.

Game Plan

For some reason, I still have not told my twin brother. I know, it's really bad. At this point, I'm not nervous. I guess I'll just walk into his room and tell him that I'm gay.

As for telling my friends, I think this will happen by December 19, which is when I go with my friends to a Lady Gaga concert. I don't think I can pretend to be straight and go to a Lady Gaga concert. I'm not saying I'm going to suddenly becoming very flamboyant; I'm just saying that most straight men don't go to Lady Gaga concerts, so there is no point in pretending anymore.

That means that by the time I return from Winter Break, everyone at school will know. This doesn't bother me too much. My mom wants me to wait until second semester, which doesn't start until February 1, but that's a long time from now...

Plus, I won't be so stressed in January because all my college apps will be done, and (hopefully) I will be accepted to Yale (or deferred (starting to seem more likely), or rejected).

As for telling my friends, I think I will tell them all at once. This has several advantages:

1) My friends will know who else knows, so they can gossip amongst each other

2) They never have to wonder if such-and-such knows already.

3) They will have each other when I tell them. The first time someone came out to me I was the only one in the room who didn't know, and it felt awkward.

4) Nobody will be the "last to know," so nobody's feelings will get hurt (as was the case when Brad came out).

Continuing Twin Issues

To Clarify:

- We are fraternal twins

- I am 100% sure that he is straight

- He supports gay rights

- I can only assume that he already knows. He is, after all, my twin brother.

And yet, I still can't bring myself to do it. It's just so awkward and uncomfortable. We don't carpool anymore because we both drive to school. The only thing I can think of is walking into his room and saying, "we need to talk."

That goes against all normal behavior. We respect each other's rooms and try to maintain that.

Also, another issue comes up after telling him:

What if he isn't trustworthy? He isn't usually malicious, but he can be given to "getting revenge" on me, and who knows what path that may take. Being outed by my twin would be pretty bad, and if it seems inevitable, I will be pressured into pre-emptively telling my friends.

Telling the Twin

How can I tell him?

We are very busy, and don't see each other that often. By the time we are both home, we have retreated to our rooms and are working on homework. It will be super awkward to just walk into his room and say, “Hey! Guess what? I'm gay. Please don't tell anyone.”

Also, we don't eat together because we have crazy schedules.

Any ideas on how to tell him?

Parents will be out of town all week, so I have until Friday to tell him.