If we could have your attention please.

Something's Happening Here

http://www.spreadpersepolis.com

What it is, ain't exactly clear.

There's a man with a gun over there 
Telling them they've got to beware 

I think it's time we stop.

Children, what's that sound?
Everybody look what's going down

We may not understand and we shouldn't interfere as a nation. But you shouldn't turn away.

Please remember all they really want is their own government to hear them, which doesn't mean they want what we think they want. That said, I think we should hear them too. And defend their capability to be heard.

If you're inclined to help them be heard, pay special attention to this.

_

Thank you.

Tales of the Tiny Alien Episode 8 - Attack of the Meme!

Trouble was coming - E-Ticket Ride Trouble . . . . .

When we last left our Tiny Alien, he was following the Vision Quest, his way having been smoothed by the connections of the Oracle and the Alex from the Land of Tiny Doors. They had travelled to the Wildes of Brooklyn, and there instead of the ship he had expected, he found a Fake Pirate with a raft. He had been warned that there was Trouble, and he was expecting it. As our story continues, we find the Tiny Alien atop the Crows Nest, secure in all he surveys . . . . .

It occurred to the Tiny Alien, once he was safely ensconced in the tiny basket on top the the long pole, that everyone he had encountered so far seemed completely sure of things. The Old Man on the Dock seemed even more sure than the Oracle. The Oracle wasn't always sure, but on reflection he felt that this was more because of her proximity to the Alex. The Alex seemed very sure, but not terribly reassuring, especially with all those odd variations in the laws of physics. 

The Tiny Alien had a lot of time to think about things because he was on Watch, and as everyone knows the problem with being on Watch is that you are waiting for things to change, and they very seldom do. 

Things were in the process of not changing. So he waited, and while he waited he thought and while he thought, the Fake Pirate steered. Things continued not to change. The Tiny Alien then thought about the weaknesses of being on Watch, like waiting for things to stop looking like sky and sea. Then he thought about the fact that he was on a raft and all he could see was sky and sea, and while space was his regular bailiwick he was pretty sure that this was not the way rafts were supposed to travel. He confirmed this observation with the Fake Pirate.

"Oh you're quite right, this isn't the way normal rafts are supposed to travel at all, this is a Life Raft, pun intended I'm afraid." The poor little Fake Pirate looked distinctly uncomfortable. "Druids love puns, can't get enough of them I'm afraid. Convinced they are the highest form of humor. So um, yes this is a Life Raft and you're on a  Vision Quest and Oh dear, can we please just leave it there." The Parrot on the Fake Pirate's shoulder chuckled. 

"Is that a Fake Parrot, too?" asked the Tiny Alien politely.

"Oh no, he's a Real Parrot, and rather cynical at that. He does love the puns though."  

And the conversation continued that way for quite a while. Things still refused to change for quite some time and then the conversation stopped for a bit and the raft rocked back and forth attempting to lull the Tiny Alien into a false sense of security and have him go to sleep. 

And it would have worked too, except for the fact that Tiny Aliens didn't sleep having evolved out of it when a baby boom caused a surplus of Teenaged Tiny Aliens that outnumbered the Adult Tiny Aliens 5:1. After the Unlicensed Nuclear Accelerator Parties became all the rage Adult Tiny Aliens just never went to sleep again, and when that crop of Teenaged Tiny Aliens came of age, they all remembered the Trouble they got into and couldn't sleep because they knew there were still more generations of Teenaged Tiny Aliens to come and those Teenagers would be playing with Wormholes. Sleep was just not a valid survival mechanism when someone needed to Keep an Eye on Things.

So here he was was many millennia from the Baby Boom Evolution Events and far away from his Home Planet but still knowing that Sleep = A Nice Game of Global ThermoNuclear War, and thus he was not rocked into a soft dreaming sleep.  Which left boredom, and boredom led to puns. The puns thought of will not be recorded here, but you may use your own imagination and start out with all of the things that you could use a Life Raft for. 

And when the Tiny Alien ran out of puns, he thought of all of the great and not so great Doors he had knocked on and then he moved on to the Honorable Way of the Knocking, and the Assessment of the Doors. And finally he moved on to the ultimately complicated recitations of the Poe. Then his mind was blank and the Horizon still unchanged.

Then finally  . . . . BAM! Trouble!

The Trouble was Epic, The Battle ensued, there were strait swords, and curved swords and shurikans and wire work !!! 

There were ray gun blasts and gymnastics and Parrots throwing around one-liners! 

There was sweeping cinematography and impossible camera tricks and absolutely no computer effects whatsoever. Everyone was doing their own fighting and no insurance company would have covered this!

Then Finally the Tiny Alien and the Fake Pirate were able to see what was causing All the Trouble. It was a Ninja! The Battle ensued in earnest.

Through the cycling of the sun, and the turbulence of the storm, and the announcement of the Puns and the desperate calls of a director Somewhere, yelling "Cut, Cut I tell you - that wasn't in the scene!!! There's no insurance covering this!!"

And did that stop them? No, no it did not. So what pray tell did? 

During the Fight the Parrot landed on the Tiny Alien's shoulder and whispered in his ear, and the Tiny Alien thought about it for a Brief Second and agreed, using the Holographic Projector in his ray gun he summoned an image of a referee on the sail of the Life Raft and the Parrot whistled and the Tiny Alien called out "TIME OUT" and then all was still. 

That was at least partially because the Alien had also used the Time Out Ray and the Life Raft was also in the corner. No one was really sure what corner, since it was the Corner of Sea and Sky, but one thing was sure, no one was going anywhere until they said they were "Sorry".  (The Time Out Ray was how you disciplined Tiny Alien Toddlers, so it was a very powerful ray since it had to be able to override all the tiny training ray guns that Tiny Alien Toddlers had.) 

"What is all this about?" Demanded the Tiny Alien in his best Grown Up Voice.

"It is my honor, to take part in the greatest debate of all debates, and so I have come to test myself and my profession and continue in the Brahman of the Meme." said the Ninja, and he bowed low to the Fake Pirate. 

The Tiny Alien was confused, but the Parrot was laughing uproariously, "Silly Ninja, that's not the Real Pirate, that's just the Fake Pirate."

"And only for the weekend." added the Alien. 

"But isn't he a Fake Ninja?" asked the Fake Pirate. 

The Alien looked carefully, there were signs, but then carefully again he double checked his readings. "I believe he is a Real Ninja, but he is wearing Fake Pants!" 

"Well then, this doesn't really settle anything does it." Hurumphed the Parrot. 

"Honorable Parrot, most assuredly should you and I engage in either combat or reparte, I assure you that we should meet the most stringent interpretations of the Contest that so Honors the Brahman of the Meme, but we are truly here for the Atman of the Alien. So today there will be no resolution to Ninja vs Pirate, Fake or Otherwise"  All of his weapons suddenly were sheathed on his body. "Most Honorable Alien and seeker of the Way of the Treat, for seeing through the veils, I have now been empowered to let you know that the Band would like to meet with you. Having been found worthy I am now to escort you and these gentleman where you can use this Pass. When I take you to the door you will of course be required to give out the ritual phrase"

And in Unison they said the Phrase together, and all the heavens and seas did know that these four individuals really really meant it from the bottom of their sweet, ninja, pirate and alien hearts and the waters rippled with the perfection of the Joyous Call:

"Trick or Treat of Else!"

Who are the Band? Is the Tiny Alien nearing the end of his Vision Quest? Why does the Ninja remind him of the Alex? How does the Band know the Phrase? What is Brahma?

To find out what happens next join us for the next Episode of Tales of the Tiny Alien!

The Taunting - No Matter Where You Go - There You Are

It was the day of the Eighth Candle. The Taunting would be complete. The largest and most aniticipated gifts are usually given on the Eighth Candle. There is a reason for this - let's say that what the children wanted most was a game system. Well, that would be a big gift and it would upstage all of the other gifts. You don't give a gift like that on the First Candle. Also, since you know it's your Mom and Dad Type Units providing the gifts, you also know they don't have the whole state subsidized North Pole thing happening. So, if you asked for a ridiculously expensive thing you can hope that it's going to be there on the Eighth Candle, but you know if the Parental Units are both unemployed it's probably not going to be there. If you're the right kind of kid that's OK.

If you're really the right kind of kid, you tell your Parental Units that what you would really really like is the Nintendo Wii, but it's OK if it's the big Channuka gift and it's even more OK if you don't get it until January, because there's some parent out there desperately trying to convince their kids that there's some kindness and magic out in the world, and it's important to those parents and kids for that Wii to be under the tree and it was enough for us just to know it was coming. 

I live with that kind of kid. We played out that scenario last year when Wii's were scarce, we were able to specifically pass on some available Wii's and give them to co-workers who needed them. We were able to gift wrap the certificate that the Wii was paid for and enroute sometime in January. The kids asked the non-jewish family members for Wii games and supplies. The non-jewish family members really had a hard time understanding why they were asking for games they couldn't play with yet. Over and over we explained - Yes the kids will be JUST as thrilled that the games will be there when the Wii comes in. They're OK with the whole delayed gratification thing. Yes. . . they are actually under 21 and American and honestly - it's  really OK - if you're really worried about it you can donate to the charity the Boy Child started - that's really important to him and will make him happy. . . . yeah Her too. . . . .

So you see when you have those kinds of kids, you want the last candle of The Taunting to count. So yeah, this year the Taunting is directly related to how awesome they were last year. And because this year The Taunting was involved in Overlap, what they were expecting to be the Big Gifts were actually given to them the same morning Auntie Claus dropped by. So they had no idea what to expect. It's the beauty of The Taunting. It's not about your list, or magic or anything else except the fact that I love you, and care about you enough to mess with your head. 

If you are my kid and you haven't understood the connections before Eighth Candle, Eighth  Candle is where it all comes together and you ask me questions or tell me what you thought and I answer you. Sometimes they come up with connections I didn't see. All the secrets are laid out and I get to find out if I read you right. If it works well, we all know a little bit more about each other and we get cool stories to tell our relatives. Of course this year The Taunting didn't just have the Overlap, we also had the Plague.

We had arrived at midnight the night before, the Girl Child was down. The Wayward Poppets had arrived home and were gathering to tell their stories and create new ones, but by the afternoon the Plague had afflicted the Perfectly Normal Stepfather and only the Boy and I were upright. 

The Taunting cannot be done by proxy, but the candles have a religious requirement to be lit before the end of the night. We waiting for a window when the Girl was able to be awake and the Perfectly Normal Stepfather had dragged himself down the stairs announcing that he damn well wanted to watch the Children open the Eighth Candle Taunting, but he needed to do it REAL SOON and far away from those of us who were not afflicted.

The Boy and I lit the candles and said the prayers loud enough for the afflicted. There is a favorite book of mine from childhood called the "All-Of-A-Kind" family. There were five little girls in 1915 or so and they came down with a fever during Passover and only one of the girls was able to be at the able with the parents to read the story and say the prayers, they made the living room a sick room and made sure the other girls didn't miss their parts even though they had to be quarentined. This reminded me of that. I'll probably write more about that too someday.

We came in and the presents that were Channuka, but not Taunting were opened. There was much quiet appreciation. Then we had them open The Last Takeout Boxes. 

The Boy opened his first, the Ninja immediately proceeded to blend into his surrounding. The kindred spirits communed. The larger Ninja immediately identified that the little Ninja was a Red underneath his Fake Pants, but he was still a Ninja, and now he was where he needed to be. 

And then the tired, poor, huddled mass, yearning to be healthy opened up her Takeout box and emitted a tiny quiet little squee. The Girl loves all things from Japan and some things from China. It was wonderful that these two little folk we ready to adventure out in the world just when we needed a big finish for the Taunting. The Girl has not looked at PoppetPlanet since I announced that Channuka presents were being purchased. She has seen pieces that I did not want her to miss - like Little Pink's Window but she had never seen Cherry Blossom, so she couldn't possibly expect her. 

It's like a Poppet Pretending to be from the House of Flying Daggers. But she's so sweet you don't even notice she's wearing Fake Pants. 

These were both One of A Kinds. These were poppets that meant that there was faith the Children would take care of them. These are toys that recognized that the Children aren't so Childish anymore, but they shouldn't leave everything behind on their journey forward. 

Here are the Poppets of the Taunting. This is the picture of my children's voices being heard. 

I hope I've heard them correctly, I hope they've heard me listening. 

The Taunting is now Completed. 

My sister got takeout box  inside reference on the first try. Kudos to her.