Day 125 - Giving up On Myself? Why do that?

 

I listened to This interview: Giving Up on Myself - Life Review. What i found fascinating is how it explains Why we give up on ourselves.

Why is it that when we have are looking forward to do something like for example learn to play an instrument, build something yourself or doing something you always wanted to do and then end up not doing it and give up on doing it? Why do get that deep sinking feeling that makes us want to give up - what is that voice in our heads that say ''I cannot do it''. And within this we never give it our best shot - never giving it our all. I look back at my life and wonder how different my life would have been if I made the decision to give it my all within what I was doing and how i could have developed myself and various skills. IF i had given it my all during school I know i would have done better. If i had given it my all when i did classical piano I would now have been a professional pianist. the same with other instruments.

Its not just that - In school i was always shy and hiding always afraid. If I had stopped that and given myself the opportunity to break and walk through my fears and given it my all i would have enjoyed it better.

After listening to this interview I gave me clarity. I could see that i wasted my life half-assing everything. And it gave me insight, assistance and support to move myself to become effective.

So listen and enjoy : Download

Day 59 - The 'I Give Up' Character

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the I give up character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when trying for a while to do something to then give up, because I believe I cannot do it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that trying for a while and to see it as too long is a belief I created based on my expectations

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up when something becomes too difficult and it seems I'm not getting anywhere

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up because it is easier to give up than pushing and pulling through

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if i see something as difficult it is based on my own beliefs and ideas i created through my experiences in the past and that something is only as difficult as i make it out to be

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that i create the point of giving up and that it is not because of something that is happening to me, but it is a choice i made to give up on myself and what i am doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use giving up as an excuse to pursue my dreams, because if i give up on this difficult process I can leave it all behind and do all the things i always wanted to do and live a life based on self interest like the rest of the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate a feel good feeling whe n thinking of giving up as a further support in my decision to give up and to justify giving up and pursue my dreams - not realizing that i create this feel good feeling so that I can feel as if my decision to give up is the right one

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if i do give up all im doing which is dedicating my life so that i can assist in the creation of a world where all are free - then i give permission for this world of abuse and suffering to continue and in that allow it to exist and in that actually create the abuse and suffering in this world

I commit myself to delete the I give up character

I commit myself to keep on doing when I've been at a particular task for long and to do it to the best of my ability so that i can be sure if im able to do something or not

I commit myself to delete all my expectations of how long something should take and to realize that my mind cannot predict actual space-time of this physical reality and points emerge that could not be predicted and sometimes something takes longer

I commit myself to keep on pushing through when something gets too difficult and to realize that i created the idea of something being difficult

I commit myself to realize that easy and difficult is irrelevant - its about what needs to be done and doing it no matter what

I commit myself to realize that i created the point of giving up

I commit myself to realize that me wanting to give up is an excuse to leave what im doing to pursue my dreams 

I commit myself to stop the feel good feeling when thinking of giving up and to realize that it is me reinforcing my decision to give up and to make the choice an easy one and to see it as the 'right 'choice and to justify me giving up

I commit myself to realize the importance of what i am doing and the responsibility i took on when i made the choice to stand for and as life - and to realize the consequences of giving up on what i am doing which is simple: the suffering and abuse in this world will continue if nobody stops it

Journey To Life Day 31 - Being Overwhelmed

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed - that everything is too much for me handle

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the world is a gainst me and out to get me when everything seems to go wrong

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself when things go wrong seeing myself as a failure and not being good enough and experiencing unworthiness when things get tough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience hopelessness when i believe that I cannot face what is here and to get lost in the magnitude of the problem we are facing here on earth before we can make this world a world worth living in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don't have the power to face this life, but to give in to fear and to allow fear to direct me - not realising that I haven't given even myself a chance  to realise the power I have to change my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to get everything done fast because i fear i wont have enough time to get it all done - and in that haste and fear to look at the big picture and get overwhelmed by it not realizing that i wont get it done fast and worrying about the future is utterly pointless

I forgive myself that I have mot accepted and allowed myself to breathe - to focus one point at a time and realize that through time and  accumulation one point becomes many points and in that ill get things done effectively instead of doing nothing by worrying 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that blaming myself has no point - self blame is knowing I am responsible but wallowing about it and not doing something about it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to to instead of blaming myself when things go wrong to take self responsibility - in that take action and do what needs to be done - instead of doing nothing

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have the power the face any point that comes up in my life and that each point is an opportunity for me to push though and become stronger and more effective

I commit myself to stop becoming overwhelmed when looking at the big picture but to take it day by, breathe by breath, point by point.

I commit myself to accept that this will take time - and that there is no quick fix

I commit myself to realize that hopelessness cannot exist if i breath and take it one step at a time and that i can only be overwhelmed if I  believe that i am not able to walk this process

I commit myself to give myself the chance to walk this process and to realize that i do in fact have the power to stand and face whatever points comes up.

I commit myself to realize that all fear is my doing and that it is not real

I commit myself to give myself worth and the power to face each point