Day 252 - Why so Stubborn?

Stubborn word Definition:

Having or showing dogged determination not to change one's attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good reasons to do so.
 
Have you ever had these moments in life where you dealt with people being absolutely stubborn in every sense of the word? And try as you might, no matter what you said or to show the person did not want to see what you were saying despite the facts clearly being there. I had a few of those, dealing with very stubborn people. And I could not understand why.

Have you ever had these moments in life where you had to deal with a person who insisted with absolute certainty that you said something, but you were sure you did not? And despite the fact that the person had clear evidence you refused to acknowledge that you did say it. Then afterwards you remembered you did in fact say it… I had a few of those as well.

So here are two events showing the same thing from the stubborn person and the other pointing thing out. The problem with Stubborn is that you refuse to listen to anything the other person shows you and believe you are the only person that is right in that particular moment no matter what the person says or shows. It’s an “I am right, you are wrong” thing.

When do you know when you are being stubborn? It starts with a reaction to what the other person said or showed; it’s like taking it personally and then you immediately go into a defensive position. So now you have this irritation and frustration building inside yourself and the only to defend yourself is to not believe a word the other person is saying and stick to you being right no matter what.

Now there is another dimension – being stubborn with yourself. Sounds silly but we all have these inner wars where we see a point within ourselves that needs to change, but then we go into being stubbornness and hold to that point, refusing to let it go or consider other options


When you do find yourself in this position the best thing you can do for yourself is to stop it. Stop and consider for a moment that the other person is trying to assist you and that what they are saying might actually be right. Look at the information without judgment and without taking it personally to access if what is being said is true or not. If you stick to being Stubborn then nothing is going to change. All you are doing harming the relationship you have with the other person and giving up an opportunity to better yourself.

So Next time ask yourself – Why so Stubborn? What’s the point? Is it is really worth it?
Now there is another dimension – being stubborn with yourself.

Day 214: Understanding Human Behavior: Awesome Series part 1

 

 

Understanding Human Behavior: Awesome Series is a series were I will write about some of the silly things we do as humans. Most of the time human behavior can be interesting and what makes it even more interesting is the fact that we ourselves do not even know or understand why we do certain things.

Ever became so angry and started yapping things at someone only to ask yourself “why did I say those things?”. Or how about simply things like why you act certain ways or like and dislike things? Most of us simply do not know ourselves – at all.

Today I observed a point in a particular person – Now, we humans are actually the same so when I see a point in someone I see it as myself doing it, putting myself in that persons shoes. It is the only way to really understand the reason for the anger and not to judge the person. So when I write these things instead of writing “they” I am writing “Me/I”.

Let me begin then with one of the silly things we do – Being unnecessarily mean.

Now there can be many reasons for being mean, but one of them has to do with the word inadequacy. Let’s say for example I feel inadequate or inferior – there are two possible outflows here in terms of behavior. One is being generally shy and the other is trying very hard to somehow make up for being inadequate. The second behavior can result in me being mean. Like for example trying to present myself as being better/superior to others by generally being mean whenever the opportunity arrives. This is basically silly human behavior.

It is silly, because I am trying to present myself as superior to others, because I feel inferior wihout ever looking at why I feel inferior. It like trying to correct a problem with a problem. The real issue here is that I feel inferior and so instead of asking myself WHY do I feel inferior I resort to being mean to others to get out of inferiority. The most effective method to get rid of feeling inferior would be in the understanding of How and WHY it was created in the first place. The feeling was created my ME. I alone am responsible for what I feel – I actually create it. And so I can change it. Next I will go into the HOW.