I am writing this more for ideas then sympathy(though I could use some). So Geoff comes home last night and says, "I hope you are in a good mood". You would think after almost 4 years of marriage that he would know that he should NEVER start a conversation off with that phrase. Anyway he tells me that he is going to be gone from November 4th to November 30th. Now when Geoff took this job he marked on the paper "Little or no traveling". In his defense he did prepare me that he might have to travel a little bit. Well I don't know if I am way out of line on my expectaion, but he was gone 3 weeks in Septemeber, 1 week in October and 4 weeks in November. That in my book is A LOT of traveling.
My question is how do I do it?!? I know a lot of women that are in this situation and you all seem so put together all the time. I spend my day telling Aria how many hours until daddy comes home. Sometimes I spend the day telling myself that I can do it for a few more hours until he can get home. I would love a few suggestions as to passing the time while he is gone.
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First off I am no expert on this subject. Greg probably travels 4 or 5 times a year for 2 days or so each time. So I really have nothing to complain about. But While Greg was studying for the GMAT I felt like I was a single mom for 3 months. He was unavailable most nights and every weekend. So heres what I did to keep me sane.
1. Start a kid swap. I do this with a friend and we have a standing appointment. She watched Jackson every Monday for 2 hours and I watch her son every Friday for 2 hours. That way I can work on the business, work out, take a nap, or just go somewhere without Jackson. I think I am going to add another mom to the mix so that I can have another couple hours a week. You really need some personal time for your peace of mind. Plus Jackson loves to play with friends so he's happy to have that time too.
2. Invest in a babysitter. Go to enrichment. Have some adult conversation. Even if it's just to Sarah's house, it's nice to be able to talk to someone without having to keep a 3rd eye on your kids all the time. I also made friend with couples in our ward with no kids. I have friends over in the evenings (the wives obviously) to play games or decorate cookies or watch a movie once the kids have gone to bed.
3. Save all the "outings" for the afternoon. If I do all my errands in the morning, the rest of the day seems really long. I try to spend mornings cleaning around the house, etc. and then do post office, park, grocery in the afternoon. So by the time you get home, its dinner time, bath time, and then bedtime, and the days seem to go by much quicker. Also Jackson is the worst in the afternoons, so I counteract that be being outside during the "hard" time of day.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. If I were you, I would just drive home for the long stretches that he's gone. Hopefully this just a "pay your dues" type thing that will get better with time. Good luck and let me know how it goes!
Oh, I would hate that, Aleena! I'm bad when Alex is gone, even if it is just for a couple of days. It's harder, too, to have kids on a schedule, because then you feel like you're stuck at home a lot, which is hard. Definitely have an activity planned for each day to make it go by faster, and spend lots of time up here so we can see you, too! Sorry he has to be gone so much -- that's rough.
You are a trooper! I seriously would cry myself to sleep every night he was gone, mostly because I would be so scared! But if you ever get so bored or need to get rid of Aria for a little bit, Meika and Sienna would love to play with her. So feel free to bring her on over!
-Cairen
Oh that totally sucks. I am always on the count down for Ryan to come home. Luckily he works banker hours or I don't think I would make it on a lot of days. If Ryan is ever out of town, I go to my moms house a lot of the time. I will probably eventually have to stop but for now it is nice because it is a change of scenery for me and the girls and there is help there with my mom, sister and in-laws.
Also, if you get Aria involved in activities the days go by faster too and the older ones seem better behaved, atleast for me. When we were in Vancouver, Lily had something almost every day. Dance, Soccer, Story Time, playgroup, Music time etc. It was a little difficult having Stella too, but it was worth the pay off in Lily's behavior. I am working on stuff to get her into here because she NEEDS something to do, and I NEED her to be doing something. Good Luck!!!
I'm sorry Aleena, that sounds like no fun! I hate it when Mike leaves town, and I don't even have any kids. I'm sure your family in Utah would be plenty happy to see you! Sorry, I don't have any better suggestions than Heidi does, so I'll just second what she says. I've heard the kid swap thing...totally do that.
I love the first comment made. I think those are such great ideas. I am so glad you are in Vegas where you have Monica and Sarah to at least plan stuff with. Plus you'll have good friends in no time. My only suggestion is to have Geoff quit his job and move home!!! We miss you anyways so you'd really be killing 2 birds with one stone. haha We're excited to see you next week!
Aleena, there is no real easy answer to this question. It is just plain HARD. I know what it feels like to be counting down the minutes until daddy comes home, and for a two year old to comprehend that daddy won't be home for days is even harder. Heidi had some great suggestions and I agree with all of them. You might also look into getting aria into a few things - maybe mom and mee gymnastics or a music group or something. My kids always do better when they have things to look forward to. When Tyler first started traveling I did just as was suggested - I got in the car and drove home to my moms where I knew that I had constant help and company. I am sure it is a toss up as you are trying to get involved in the ward, neighborhood, etc - but if you feel like you are going to burst - come home! We would love to have you! On the flip side of all of that, I know how hard traveling can be on our husbands. I have to remind myself when I want to cry or complain to Tyler that it is hard on him too. You will eventually find balance, I promise. We look forward to seeing you in the next day or two!
Aleena, I do not envy you. I hate to be alone. Absolutely hate it. In fact, almost every time I have a day off, I spend the night before crying because I am so distraught about what I can possibly find to do all day long to distract myself. Luckily, you have a lot of family in town with you. So, I'm sure you will have people to play with.
You can come and hang out with the Morris' or we can come keep you company. We are always looking for an excuse to travel, besides I don't really like Geoff, so Heather and I would love to visit Aleena and the girls.
--Jared
I think you should do all the things that are listed in the first comment... What great ideas!!! I'm so sorry, that is hard. I hate being alone too!!! You will get through it, and when he comes home it will be a sweet reunion.
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