Dream Team Mittens

I think I've mentioned here R. Emmett Tyrell is probably my favorite all time conservative writer. Mr. Tyrell and I have long been in agreement the Empty Suit Known as Barack Hussein Obama will be remembered as a "bad one term President." The founder of the American Spectator took the opportunity this week to say so again.

This morning I opened up my Google machine to find a certain Mr. Michael Barone now agrees with us. It looks like Mr. Barone finally read the memo I sent him on May 13, and re-sent on August 18.

==

Look kiddies, BHO's campaign has been a dead letter for some time. The corrupt and biased lamestream media has kept alive the fiction of a close race with flawed polling methodologies that have over sampled registered democrats, under sampled independents, and discounted the effect of voter enthusiasm. Plus you can always take a few percentages points off the Empty Suit's grade, in the translation between the answer to a pollster's phone call and a vote that really matters, due to the effect of white guilt. The immutable facts are everybody knows Barry's dysconomy sucks, the Benghazi cover-up puts Barry's failed foreign policy into sharp relief, and tens of millions of people watching the televised debates without the psychedelic distortion of lamestream media filters saw Mittens hand Barry his ass in open debate.

==

Therefore, I, LibertyAtStake, will move "forward" to planning the much needed transition to adult leadership in the executive branch of our federal government. Here is your Dream Team Mittens for the upcoming administration.

Stipulation #1: No "czars." A "czar" is a dead Russian despot, and has no place in our constitutional system.

State: Newt Gingrich in the top slot, and John Bolton #2. Now, I know Bolton is the top choice for most conservatives, but hear me out here. The Foggy Bottom that denied security to the Benghazi consulate needs some serious hands-on 24x7 adult leadership. Bolton is just the smart guy we need to keep at headquarters kicking bureau-weenie ass for the next four years, unencumbered by traveling figure-head duties. Newt is just the scary-looking figurehead we need travelling the world giving scary speeches to reverse the last four years of failed Apology Tour diplomacy.

Defense: Current Representative, and retired Lt. Colonel Allen West. He's just the man to lead the Pentagon's good old boys club of standard issue politically correct four star bureaucrats into a renewed age of American global leadership.

Justice: Mark levin. His orders will be to institute a department wide constitutional law competency test, and fire the high percentage of career department lawyers that will surely fail it.

CIA: Some career spook you and I never heard of, hopefully the one that has been inside Mohammed Morsi's head for a living recently.

Education: Michelle Rhee. Her orders will be to break the public teachers unions, while some intern in the background drafts the legislation to eliminate the failed department altogether.

Energy: Leave vacant as a symbolic political statement while some intern in the background drafts the legislation to eliminate the failed department altogether.

Interior: Sarah Palin. Drill, baby, drill!

Treasury: Larry Kudlow. Grow, baby, grow!

Commerce: The most inspirational business executive I, LAS, have ever had the privilege of being in the same room with - Herman Cain.

Labor: Li'l Richie Trumka - as a sop to bi-partisanship. Never return his phone calls and cut his budget in half off the top. Fire him the first time he says something controversial in public.

Agriculture: John McCain, as a lifetime achievement award, and because he's on record as against ethanol subsidies. Who the hell came up with the brilliant idea to transform a perfectly good food product into a lousy fuel product, anyway?

HHS: Somebody with both congressional and medical credentials, to rip out the regulatory roots of ObamaCare that have already been planted - repeal notwithstanding. Senators Tom Coburn and Rand Paul come to mind, but we'll need their votes in the Senate. When I plugged "physicians in congress" into my Google machine, this is the initial pool that came up. (First task for Mittens is to assign an intern to scratch off the Senate members, leaving only the House members to choose from.)

Signers include: U.S. Senators Tom Coburn, M.D. (R-OK), John Barrasso, M.D. (R-WY), John Boozman (R-AR), O.D., Rand Paul (R-KY), M.D., House Representatives Phil Gingrey M.D. (GA-11), Phil Roe, M.D. (TN-1), Scott DesJarlais, M.D. (TN-4), Paul Gosar, D.D.S. (AZ-1), Diane Black (TN-6), Renee Ellmers (NC-2), John Fleming, M.D. (LA-4), Charles Boustany, M.D. (LA-7), Dan Benishek, M.D. (MI-1), Larry Bucshon, M.D. (IN-8), and Andy Harris, M.D. (MD-1).

HUD: Donald Trump. He knows how to build neighborhoods.

Transportation: Damned if I know. Maybe there's a NASCAR driver getting ready to retire who has conservative principles.

Veterans Affairs: Somebody willing to take the job that is personally connected to the Fort Hood "workplace violence" incident.

DHS: This agency should have never been cobbled together in the first place. Offer it to Rudy Giuliani to manage the break up. As for the constituent parts ...

FEMA: Giuliani. We already know he can walk and chew gum at the same time.

INS: Arizona Governor Jan Brewer.

ICE: Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

TSA: Ask the Israelis for a recommendation, with orders to transform airport security to the Israeli "profiling" model ASAP.

Now get out there and vote like your republic depends on it.

Insiders Say To Expect a Meaner, Leaner, President Obama In the Second Debate

Well, I guess you have to give the guy credit just for having the sand to show up ... what with the lousy economic record, and the failed foreign policy, and having his ass handed to him by the most mild mannered nominee in living memory in the first debate. The training must be intense ...



Update 10/16/12

The spy Jack Wiley Dithers placed inside the Soros, Inc. funded dojo now training the President for debate combat has filed her report. The Empty Suit is being run through an extreme and fanatical training regimen to ensure automatic regurgitation of progressive talking points.

The JWD Institute for Journalistic Integrity recommends the old 1-2 counter punch strategy to Team Mittens. Hear the lie. Smile. Right cross: call out the lie. Left hook: Switch to big idea lecture.

One example for illustration ... Empty Suit blurts out something about you "raising taxes on the middle class." State this is a falsehood invented by his side based on assumptions about your plan. Optionally throw in a bit of snark asking what standing does Mr. trillion and half dollar deficits as far as the eye can see even have making such an assumption. Then quickly switch to explaining their falsehood arises from static accounting against deficit neutrality. Then explain your dynamic budget accounting closes the deficit by growing the economy, and thus bringing in more revenue. Like Reagan did.

It will be the professor vs. the senior guest lecturer. Team Mittens may want to send out Newt Gingrich in a Mitt Romney mask to ensure victory.

Update #2 10/16/12

The Dailer Caller sets it up nicely here. My reactions ...

All Romney needs to do to beat back the 47% question is execute a simple two step dance. 1) Point out the 47% number is simply a statistic indicating the percentage of the population that pays no taxes. (2) Then stipulate he wants all of their votes, especially the ones who would like a job to join the 53%.

The only thing Obama can do regarding the Libya question is demonstrate incompetence by deflecting blame. But I guess it's better (for him) than admitting his foreign policy is a complete failure.

Advantage Romney.

I think tonight I'll monitor Frank Luntz' operation on Fox Nation. I'll especially be interested in how reactions to biased moderation from the Leftist hack Candy Crowley is measured. After the Empty Suit has been deposed, we will be left with media bias as the greatest scourge still afflicting the republic.

Update #3 10/16/12

Overall - it was like watching Pastor Jones kick his three-legged dog. In a good way, that is, if you care about the direction of the republic. Despite Crowley's best efforts to comfort the three-legged dog through the course of the beating. Next comes foreign policy. With the Libya cover-up still unraveling. Mittens missed the chance to throw a knockout punch on the Libya cover-up on this night. But, then again, there's a whole 'nother debate to cover this ground, with disciplined preparation. Mittens is nothing if not disciplined. Game over.

Update #4 10/17/12

Looking back a day later, it seems not everyone saw the same debate I saw. Snap polling appears to give an edge to the Empty Suit. Perhaps those polled are genetically unable to distinguish policy proposals from empty promises. Two elections in a row, even.

But, no matter. When the hack Crowley stumbled into her ham-fisted attempt to shield her man Barry from his own record on the Benghazi cover-up, she inadvertently did Romney an invaluable favor by guaranteeing the cover-up story will live on until the next debate. The *foreign policy* debate. I love it when a plan comes together. :)

Right Truth has a very good roundup on the matter for the historical record. Levin is right. The Empty Suit has a record now. Nothing has changed.

Update #5 - 10/18/12

Who's winning? Ace of Spades has the data.

Jack Wiley Dithers Has Last Minute Debate Advice For Joe Biden

(AP) – Jack Wiley Dithers Reporting
“If You Can’t Scoop It, Make It Up.”

Mr. Vice President:

You still owe me $500 from poker night, so I want you to keep your J-O-B. You have a big Debate Club event tonight, and I want to help you win it. My advice might be a day late and a dollar short, but that's only because I'm a well-known procrastinator. On the plus side, since you are a well-known plagiarizer, I've given you precious little time to steal my writing. So, here goes.

Avoid foreign policy as a topic. You have nothing to win, and everything to lose here. Somehow, you have been built up as some kind of foreign policy genius despite being dead wrong about every major foreign policy issue since 1980. Worse, your administration's foreign policy in the Middle East is unraveling right before our very eyes. No good will accrue for you, after being built up as an expert, from getting thrashed by an opponent with no foreign policy experience. Stay away from this topic like it's the plaque. If asked a foreign policy question, change the subject to something totally different, perhaps by asking moderator Martha Raddatz what she thought of Adam Sandler's movie "The Wedding Singer."

Avoid the economy as a topic. The economy sucks under your administration. Under no circumstances are you to use the word 'budget.' It gives your opponent an opening to point out your administration hasn't passed one through either congressional chamber for three years. It gives your opponent an opening to market his video about his budget, the only budget proposal to pass either congressional chamber in three years. No good will accrue for you from getting thrashed by a real expert on the topic. If asked about the economy, change the subject to something totally different, like maybe all those cool web master skills you picked up when you were in charge of counting jobs saved and created on recovery.gov.

Focus like a laser beam on your opponent's top weakness. The guy looks like Eddie Munster and everybody knows it. Be merciless. Give him the Biden treatment without hesitation. He knows he looks like Eddie Munster, too. This line of attack will unnerve him. After you see him rattled, go for the knockout punch by pointing out his running mate looks like Herman Munster.

The deal will be closed with Independent voters. Nobody wants a monster that was made, not born, to be President. And nobody wants a boy werewolf to be a heartbeat away.

Good luck and I'm looking forward to you sending me that poker money. My beer kitty is running low.

(AP) – Jack Wiley Dithers Reporting
“If You Can’t Scoop It, Make It Up.”

The LAS Empty Chair Interview (Script)

*Warning: Appreciation of these jokes without supporting links depends on whether you were paying attention the past four years. If you do not meet this stipulation, too bad. I’m in no mood to hold your hand and sit you in front of your Google machine. I'm confident you can do that for yourself. You can do it!

LAS: [Extending hand toward chair] Hello, Mr. President.

LAS: Come on, don’t be like that. I’ve extended my open hand so you can unclench your fist.

LAS: That’s better. So, what kind of music do you like?

LAS: OK, I’ll ask the Queen of England. What do you think of that new blockbuster hit ‘2016’?

LAS: No, it’s not about a ‘really bad two term President’. Whatever did you mean by ‘fundamental transformation’ anyway?

LAS: ‘Greek exceptionalism’? Ummmm .... Let’s turn our attention to Congress, OK?

LAS: No, you don’t pronounce his name like it’s spelled. It’s pronounced ‘BAY-NER’.

LAS: Yes, no worries, Harry Reid still thinks you are articulate and without a Negro dialect.

LAS: I agree. I agree. Things are different than 2008. Why, I heard even the “Obama Girl” came out against you.

LAS: Well, yes, there is the “Obama Boy” this year. That’s true.

LAS: And, yes, he does look a little like Reggie Love. I’ll grant you that.

LAS: No, I don’t think saying ‘Fast and Furious’ was Reggie Love’s code name will make it go away.

LAS: No, people will probably still notice the economy sucks if you say 'Stimulus' was his code name.

LAS: Sorry, Chief Justice Roberts said it was a tax. That makes it official.

LAS: No it's your bill that takes 700 Billion bucks out of Medicare right away.

LAS: No, ten plus six doesn’t equal 'cutting in half.'

LAS: Sure, fair is fair, I guess. Anybody who made millions from two autobiographies full of "composites" should be asked to pay a bigger share.

LAS: If she’s 1/32nd Cherokee, then I’m a registered Democrat.

LAS: What? No! I think you can see I’m not dead. And here’s my ID, too.

LAS: Really, you should run for UN Secretary General next. Just think of the possibilities. You can be open and honest about your father’s dreams. And you have all the efficiencies and competencies of the UN at your finger tips to implement them.

LAS: You are welcome.

Eastwooding: The Cabinet Meeting

The Most Transparent Administration in History meets to consider the nation's course forward.

Arrayed on the table for our glorious leaders to consider:

(1) The legally passed federal budgets for fiscal years 2010, 2011, and 2012.

(2) The Obama deficit reduction plan.

(3) The Obama tax reform plan.

(4) The Obama entitlements reform plan.

(5) The 'Fast and Furious' documents Obama has shielded with Executive Privilege.

(6) Last month's Obama campaign fund raising haul.

postscript

Take the Before and After Obama Poll! Top o' the blog.

Democrat Circular Firing Squad (June 2012 Edition)

Graphic dredged up from the Newton's Three Laws (Part 7) post, and updated for the current state of affairs inside the Donkey Party. Click to embiggen.



Remember when we thought the GOP convention was going to be the wild one? Seems like a million years ago already. As usual, it will be the Donkey Party that comes through with maximum entertainment value.

Update 6/11/12

More examples of a self-imposed publishing deadline diminishing the quality of the final work product.

Example 1: "Resurrected" and "refurbished" would have been better phrasing than "dredged up" and "updated" for the LAS blogging character.

Example 2: The Blinky Pelosi speech bubble should have been "Unconstitutional? Are you serious?" in honor of her infamous and flippant 2009 response to a reporter's question on ObamaCare.



Example 3: I should have found a way to include Richard Trumka and Andrew Stern as symbols of dinosaur union hackery in the wake of the Wisconsin recall vote. So many crazy and corrupt Lefties, so little blog space.

But I still give myself a good solid B-plus!

Stick a Fork in Him, He’s Done

I recall Gorilla Monsoon using this stock phrase a lot in the eighties, when he announced for the World Wrestling Federation (WWF). Monsoon was straight man to Bobby “The Brain” Heenan (aka “The Weasel”) in what was really a LOL wrestling commentary comedy team at the time.

Here’s a taste:



Anyway, Monsoon, while calling a match, would often say ‘stick a fork in him, he’s done!’ – especially when a favored superstar would put away a jobber opponent with a signature move. This phrase was awakened from the deep recesses of my mind when I applied Friday’s dismal jobs report to the electoral future for the Empty Suit Known as Barack Hussein Obama.

I have a mental image of the realities of market economics body splashing into Barry O’Bama from the top rope as Heenan (always favoring the ‘heel’ in ring match ups by design) yells ‘oh no!’ and Monsoon gives us his charcoal grilling related cliché.

==

As we all know, since James “The Crazy Cajun” (that would be his pro wrestling persona) Carville told us in 1992, ‘It’s the economy, stupid’ when it comes to a sitting President’s re-election fortunes.

Well, the economy sucks. It sucks due to Barack Hussein Obama’s policies.

BHO is a dyed-in-the-wool statist who believes the state is the sole source of wisdom, wealth and well-being. His hard Left ideology fundamentally holds individuals, private institutions (i.e. institutions not under the state’s thumb), and the free market in contempt. This ideology assumes all of you are too stupid and too selfish to live a properly ordered life without the state dictating and mandating even the tiniest aspects of how you lead it. Mayor Nanny Bloomberg and his war on soft drinks in servings larger than 16 ounces is but one recent example.

==

BHO took this ideology into office flying high on Icarus-like wings given to him by the republic’s bout with temporary insanity over the empty slogan ‘Hope and Change’. The hype only encouraged the inexperienced narcissist to tack hard left, too close to the sun if you will, and the result is now he is nothing more historically than yet another cautionary tale about the folly of statist economics. He and his corrupt gang of American Progressives join the Soviets, Maoists, Euro Zone Socialists, and others, as prime examples of how command driven cradle-to-grave nanny state economies inevitably spread the most misery to the largest number of people.

==

This blog project set out in December 2009 to make the case against this ideology – you know, “Because the Only Good Progressive is a Failed Progressive.” 245 posts later (counting this one), by far the most read post, according to Google Analytics, was posted August 27, 2011 – “In a Democracy, the People Get the Government They Deserve.” It’s one the better examples of the quirky, intentionally humorous (in a sarcastic way), intentionally Obama-mocking (in an intentionally Alinskyite way), literary style I developed here. I especially like the concluding visual of the ‘Deserve’ post, as a pithy statement of where we’ve come since the last Presidential election. It is an image of somebody else’s bumper sticker with the statement “If you voted for Obama in 2008 to prove you are not racist, you’ll have to vote for someone else in 2012 to prove you’re not an idiot.”

But the best LAS post to explain why the economy still sucks this far into BHO’s so-called recovery is “Stuck on Keynesian Stupid” – posted here on May 11, 2011. The following excerpt is the meat of the matter.

Keynesian economics is a top down, centrally managed, command driven, theory that assumes "experts" can direct capital where it is most needed in a complex market system. Hayek’s competing framework is a bottom up model based on the idea that trusting individuals to make independent decisions in their own self-interest produces the most good for the greatest number of people.

According the macro-economic theories of John Maynard Keynes, the $862 Billion stimulus package that was BHO’s first significant act should have had the US economy humming along beautifully by now. According to the theory, public “experts” pumping huge amounts of public cash into the private economy revitalizes the private economy - and BHO's stimulus was the biggest money pump in human history.

It didn’t work in the Great Depression of the 1930’s, it didn’t work for Japan in the 1990’s, and it’s not working now. The reason it never works is the false premise that government money pumped into the private economy is somehow “new” to the economy. A moment’s reflection exposes the fallaciousness of this premise. Governments only have two ways to raise revenue: (1) print new paper money, which is not actually new wealth, and is therefore inflationary (unless interest rates are artificially held down - which is the building stress fracture in US monetary policy right now), or (2) tax existing wealth out the private economy – which merely redistributes wealth from one set of private hands to another, with overhead built into the transfer to fund the government intervention itself. Governments simply produce no new wealth, ever.

Hayek, on the other hand, based his macroeconomic theories on the far more subtle notion of spontaneous order. That is, for my purposes here, the complex system of exchange between self-interested consumers and producers does something truly magical – it actually creates new wealth in the economic system merely via the exercise of economic activity. Every time a producer supplies a valuable product or service to a consumer, the fair market value the consumer provides back in exchange is economic activity. When government policy encourages and rewards economic activity, over time it results in measurable economic growth, which is good to one degree or another for everyone.

I then went on, in a spasm of pure genius, to set up a direct measurement of real world results comparing and contrasting the economic performance of the Leftist Obama with the man who won the Cold War without firing a shot.

It turns out our 40th President – Ronald Reagan - implemented policies inspired by the Hayek school of thought. It also turns out Mr. Reagan “inherited” a deep recession very similar to the one Mr. Obama told us at the beginning of his term he would fix with his Keynesian Stimulus package.

The Wall Street Journal recently compared the growth in GDP during the two officially measured “recoveries,” and found Messrs. Keynes and Obama to be lagging Messrs. Hayek and Reagan considerably. I took the Journal’s numbers, covering the first seven quarters of official “recovery,” and captured them in a very sophisticated charting system known as MS Excel. Here’s the chart for quarters one through seven. (I think I’ll bring this chart back, updated, each quarter moving forward. The trend will not change, trust me on that.)

==

Here’s the updated chart, folks. Hint: Longer is better.



BHO and His Corrupt Gang of Progressives are Keynesian statists through and through. These plainly measurable results mean nothing to them. They are sooooooooo stuck on Keynesian stupid their only policy proposals seem to be stuff like tax credits for businesses to hire for the mere sake of hiring and “targeted infrastructure” spending.

AYFKM?

The first proposal belies a complete lack of understanding of how the market economy works. There is no tax break big enough to convince any business to hire someone to sit on their hands. Businesses hire when they grow, and a legitimate internal demand for help develops. When such need develops, there is no tax break small enough to deter the hiring transaction. The employee that costs more than he or she creates in revenue has a label – “layoff” - unless they’ve scored a public sector union gub’ment position of course, at least up until now (oblique reference to tomorrow’s historic Wisconsin recall referendum).

The infrastructure thing is so LOL funny it’s sad. The only beneficiaries are a narrow band of specially trained, union connected, construction laborers. Trust me, they are already busy. Every f*ck*in exit on the DC Beltway has a construction project that never seems to finish, snarling traffic like only Communists could. The unions really screwed up when they became a giant pain in the a$$ for everybody else.

One more time, just to make sure it sinks in …



Footnote

The staff cartoonist has been given his assignment.

Adventures on YouTube #1

Am I the only one seeing a resemblance to Greta Van Susteren from the neck up?

Jack Wiley Dithers Exclusive: More Obama Campaign Strategy Transcript

(AP) – Jack Wiley Dithers Reporting
“If You Can’t Scoop It, Make It Up.”

It looks like my DHS source has been holding out on me. According to him, he found several additional minutes of intercepted cell phone conversation picking up where my last post left off. According to his dubious story he discovered the additional stuff when he checked a jacket pocket before dropping it off at the dry cleaner. He changed the subject when I asked why it was necessary to bring the jacket to the dry cleaner.

Personally, I think he’s working me for two payoffs on one score. But it is good stuff, so I’m just keeping an eye on the bastard from here on out.



==

Instead, I took out my displeasure passively aggressively on a staff member. She’s due for her annual review, with the possibility of promotion from Crack Investigative Journalist 3rd Class to Crack Investigative Journalist 2nd Class. Right in the palm of my hand … ripe for abuse. I made her edit it down to identify individual speakers. Somebody should, and the rest of us are too lazy.

But the little bootlick took the editing task one step further – researching supporting links relating to the classic moral framework provided by the 7 Deadly Sins. The result is pretty good, actually, so I’ll go ahead and use it. But I’m afraid I’m going to have to fire her – people around here might get the idea good work automatically deserves reward.

==

Obama: Ummmm, let’s brainstorm.

Jarrett: Do we still have a fall guy at JP Morgan? Where’s Geithner? …

Plouffe: Last I saw him he was with Chu going over the Stimulus and Green Energy accounts ….

Axelrod: They better not take anything out of the Stimulus re-election account …

Obama: Come on, this is serious, people. My butt is on the line! (*pride)

Axelrod: Val is on to something. We can set up Jamie Dimon – he won’t need to know any of the details. We can have our inside guy – code name ‘Voldemort’ - blow up some of the riskier derivatives we have him holding at JP. Nothing too big – nothing like ’08, maybe a couple billion – just to give the anti-Wall Street narrative a boost. Jamie told me he’s ready to retire anyway. I think he’ll continue to be a team player if we ask him to take a dive.

Obama: Sounds good. Making a public example(*wrath) of Jamie should encourage the other Wall Street fat cats to pony up more campaign cash. Run with it … oh, and make sure Jamie’s golden parachute opens. OK, what else?

Dunn: I think we should step up the pressure on Limbaugh’s advertisers.

Obama: Good idea. That fat bastard drives me crazy. And make sure Sandra gets all the contraceptives she needs.(*lust) Now we’re rolling. What can we say on the economy?

{Long pause … papers shuffling, throats clearing}

Axelrod: Counting jobs saved and created by stimulus is Biden’s department. Let’s come back to the economy when he returns.

Obama: Alright. How about opposition research on Romney? And I’m non too happy with how the Doggie Wars and WedgieGate worked out, people. What else you got?

{Long pause … papers shuffling, throats clearing}

Plouffe: Why not launch ‘Operation Weird Mormon’? It’s all planned out.

Axelrod: I don’t like it. Opens the door to discussing Jeremiah Wright.

Plouffe: OK, how about ‘Operation Bain Sob Story’. Gingrich already blazed the trail.

Axelrod: I’m worried it might give Romney an opening to explain the capitalist concept of creative destruction to the masses.

{Laughter erupts – Plouffe is heard saying “Romney? Explain?” – hands pounding on table in rhythm with laughter}

Obama: OK, run with it hard. Make it a big ad buy in the battleground states. Oh look, it’s almost time for lunch. What’s coming in today, Val?

Jarrett: Pizza from St. Louis.(*gluttony)

Obama: The fly in stuff?

Jarrett: Yes, sir.

Obama: Yummy. Better be on time, though – I’ve got a 2 pm tee time.(*sloth). David, where are we after golf?

Axelrod: Fund raiser downtown(*greed) – nice little pander to the public teachers unions. We have them coming and going – we’re using their dues to write off the rubber chicken dinner and shake them down for more.

{ snickering all around}

Obama: So, it’ll be the usual ‘Race To the Top’ stump speech.

Axelrod: Yes, you just have to make them believe they’ll get more in other people’s money back for their donations. Should be a pretty good haul.

{Door opens}

Obama: Jay. Joe. Where have you guys been?

Biden: Carney swung me by his cubicle. Latest internal polls are a big ‘effin deal. We’re screwed.

Obama: Slow down, Joe. What you need is to get out on the trail and get to work. Get out there and do the class warfare stump speech.(*envy) You'll feel a lot better.



Soros: You guys do know you left the connection on, right?

(AP) – Jack Wiley Dithers Reporting
“If You Can’t Scoop It, Make It Up.”

Barack Hussein Obama Could Learn a Thing or Two About Leadership ... From Keith Richards?

I recently cracked open the memoirs of Keith Richards ("Life" - copyright 2010) as a light diversion. Quite unexpectedly, I came upon a passage appropriate to this blog space. Yeah, I know - whoulda thunk it?

On Page 77, the least likely survivor of Rock and Roll excess in this universe gives us his thoughts on his widely acknowledged capacity as a band leader (emphasis mine).

I like to motivate guys, and that's what came in handy with the Stones. I'm really good at pulling a bunch of guys together. If I can pull a bunch of useless Rastas into a viable band and also the Winos, a decidedly unruly band of men, I've got something there. It's not a matter of cracking the whip, it's a matter of just sticking around, doing it, so they know you're in there, leading from the front and not from behind. And to me, it's not a matter of who's number one, it's what works.

==

Also today, I participated in a little comment thread on the Randy's Roundtable blog. The two encounters merged in my decidely unruly mind as the lyrics to 'Gimme Shelter'. It occurs to me this masterpiece holds real potential for becoming the soundtrack to the republic's next six months, depending on how the leadership challenged Barack Hussein Obama reacts to his precipitous fall from grace.

Here is a performance by that 'decidedly unruly band of men' - the X-Pensive Winos.



Here is a performance with that other guy handling the lead singer duties, and with slicker production values.

OK, I'm Finally Convinced

Huxley's 'Brave New World' is the better depiction of Progressive dystopia than Orwell's 1984.



But,hey, it's not as if I wasn't warned ...

Barry's Baffling Boondoggle to Afghanistan

Did you hear the Empty Suit Known as Barack Hussein Obama gave a campaign speech to the American people from Afghanistan? I’m sure you must have, because his lickspittle propagandists in the mainstream media made it their mission to ensure you did.

I’ve scoured the Intertubes looking for the price tag passed on to the taxpayers for Barry’s Baffling Boondoggle. Well, actually, I entered a simple search phrase into Google’s search engine, and the only actual estimate on page one did not come from any mainstream media source. The best answer I could find on page one was a ‘back of the envelope’ estimate from a 3 year old trip to the same locale. The citizen estimate came out to around three million bucks.

That’s one expensive nothing-burger in the slowest economic recovery since the Great Depression. But chump change compared to the now more than five *trillion* bucks of new national debt the Empty Suit has bequeathed the republic with his failed governance. So I’ve chosen to ‘largely ignore’ this calculated diversion. (That’s a dig at the MSM constantly describing the violent mob known as OWS with the mealy-mouthed phrase 'largely peaceful.')

I will only note one stylistic point that has escaped the attention of every other analyst (as far as I can tell). Am I the only one who has noticed Barry has the annoying habit of striking the lectern with his hand to punctuate statements, in the manner of a petty dictator? Just listen to the continuous thump-thump-thump rhythm on the ubiquitously available video of Barry’s speech. It’s enough to make a guy nostalgic for Benito Mussolini, Adolf Hitler, Nikita Kruschev, or even Dwight Schrute.



==

No, I choose instead to catalog the lengthy list of bad political news for Team Obama that he and his slavish water-carriers in the corrupt and biased liberal media wish to distract you away from noticing, by staging and promoting Barry’s Baffling Boondoggle to Afghanistan.

A ‘white hispanic’ (the new media term coined for George Zimmerman) going by the name of Jose Rodriquez, who also happens to be the former CIA Director of CIA Clandestine Operations, is doing the book promotion tour thing – and exposing Team Obama’s mendacious politics in relation to enhanced interrogation techniques employed against illegal enemy combatants in the War on Terror.

Previously unknown to anyone, Elizabeth Warren, Team Obama’s candidate to reclaim the Ted Kennedy Senate seat from Scott Brown, is apparently a ‘white Cherokee’ - and disappointed she didn’t get the high cheek bones.

Team Obama’s shock troops in the Occupy movement – known here as Barry’s Malingering Mob of Maladjusted Malcontents – made a generally very unimpressive street level showing during the big ‘general labor strike’ on the May Day.

Obama’s Solicitor General, fresh from having his ass handed to him in Supreme Court arguments on the ObamaCare individual mandate, just took it on the chin again in oral arguments over Arizona SB 1070.

One of Team Obama’s many unaccountable Czars of Some Damn Thing is feeling the blowback for some very uncivil political discourse.

Team Obama’s Attorney General, Eric “My People” Holder, is on the fast track to conviction for contempt of Congress based on his stone walling of the Fast and Furious investigations.

==

To sum up, I couldn’t say it any plainer than columnist Michael Goodwin – Obama is Desperate and It Shows.

Obama will do anything, say anything, to distract attention from his failed record of governance.

His foreign policy is a complete train wreck – the one and only public “success” is OBL’s assassination, which any President would have ordered and no American has any problem with. So ‘gutsy!’ When this week’s spiking of the football celebration is over, he has nothing else of substance to point to. And foreign policy will take a back seat to his lousy economy in this election, anyway. So, basically, he has nothing of substance to run on – except the predictable politics of division and gub’ment income redistribution panders he will drag out of the Leftist ideological grab bag. Running around the country falsely ginning up fears of student loan interest rate increases shows the template that will be repeated again and again.

Which is why my next substantive post has the working title ‘How Stupid *is* My Republic?’

Just Because

Written by John Lennon (Beatles - but you probably know that already). Well. Sung by Siousxi Sioux (The Queen of 70's London Punk). Well. Guest guitar appearance by Robert Smith (The King of Goth Rock). Well? You be the judge. But, hey, he's still the King of Goth Rock.



Postscript

Yeah, I'll get to Barry's Baffling Boondoggle to Afghanistan when I can. It's necessary, but not pressing.

Obumper Schtickers

Inspired by a segment on Chris Plante's radio show this morning, calling for Obama 2012 bumper sticker slogans.

Initial edit to be found in my comment to the Jersey Nut's Thursday post.

And for you recent and soon to be college graduates needing J-O-B-S ...

Update 4/29/12

In honor of the Apologizer-In-Chief's recent cynical attempt to make political hay out of his one and only foreign policy “success” – finally making a decision 99% of all Americans would have made after nine months of vacillation … and re-focusing attention on the bigger picture of his utterly failed Mideast foreign policy, especially the plain fact the Muslim Brotherhood is now in charge of an Egypt lost as an ally under Obama’s watch … and playing on the old English tradition of hailing the ascension of a new monarch with ‘The King is Dead! Long Live the King!’ … I give you …

Another Update 4/29/12

From the always comprehensive weekly round up at Conservative Hideout 2.0 ...

And as Quoted By 'Larry the Cable Guy' ... "Lord, I Apologize"

How did I end up here? Daddy needs a shower.

Demotivational Bo

ROTFLMAO! courtesy of the Daily Caller this morning ...

Jack Wiley Dithers Exclusive: The Israeli Diplomatic Cables

(AP) – Jack Wiley Dithers Reporting.

Last weekend, an ambitious member of our cracker-jack investigative journalism team won a drinking game, and consequently a bet, with his Mossad contact. The Mossad man seems to have temporarily forgotten about the inverse relationship between physical fitness and tolerance for adult beverages, before foolishly taking on our portly investigator in his prime element. Mossad’s loss is our gain, and yours as well, dear reader. To pay off his debt, the Mossad man has delivered to us the following diplomatic cables between Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and American President Barack Hussein Obama.

==

Following the ‘unprecedented’ and 'historic’ June 4, 2009 empty Obama speechification in Cairo …

_From: Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel
___To: Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
_Time: 2009-06-05 01:00 GMT

Open hand? Clenched fist? What was that, some kind of lesson on the rules of ‘rock, paper, scissors’? Why don’t you just give Khamenei the bomb yourself?

_From: Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
___To: Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel
_Time: 2009-06-05 01:04 GMT

Just stand by and watch my genius unfold.

==

During the heat of the massive Iranian street demonstrations erupting under the “Green Movement” banner, which protested the Iranian regime stealing the June 2009 sham election …

_From: Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel
___To: Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
_Time: 2009-10-01 14:13 GMT

Have arranged for Iranian dissident Mohsen Makhmalbaf to arrive in Washington. We have worked with him before. Very reliable. Can be your conduit for soft and black support to Green Movement.

_From: Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel
___To: Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
_Time: 2009-10-10 13:54 GMT

Why aren’t you seeing Mohsen Makhmalbaf? What is your policy? Please advise.

_From: Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
___To: Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel
_Time: 2009-10-11 15:22 GMT

Open hand.

_From: Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel
___To: Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
_Time: 2009-10-11 15:25 GMT

Open hand?!? That thing has been cut off, bronzed, and mounted on the wall by Khamenei! Why don’t you just give him the bomb yourself?

==

Commemorating Obama’s epic snub of Netanyahu at the White House …

_From: Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
___To: Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel
_Time: 2010-03-24 05:15 GMT

So, about those 13 demands?

_From: Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel
___To: Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
_Time: 2010-03-24 05:31 GMT

My chief of staff, under my orders, wiped his ass with your document, and set it on fire by means of bic lighter and fart.

==

Turkey and Brazil hatch a plot to swap nuclear fuel rods with Iran … for the interests of peace, you know …

_From: Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel
___To: Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
_Time: 2010-05-18 12:23 GMT

Our Ankara and Brasilia stations have solid information this fuel swap is cover for Russian sponsored transfer of weapons grade uranium to Tehran, coming soon.

_From: Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel
___To: Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
_Time: 2010-05-25 12:28 GMT

Our Moscow station now knows why you’ve been ignoring Ankara and Brasilia intel. Why don’t you just give Khamenei the bomb yourself?

==

Shortly after Egyptian President Hosne Mubarak has been deposed with BHO’s transparently tacit approval …

_From: Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel
___To: Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
_Time: 2011-04-01 13:11 GMT

Our Cairo station strongly believes Muslim Brotherhood and other Islamic radicals will win elections by wide margins. Can your people help keep peace treaty intact?

_From: Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel
___To: Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
_Time: 2011-04-12 13:44 GMT

Cairo station now knows why you’ve been ignoring election intel. Why don’t you just drive the Egyptian army’s American made tanks into the Sinai yourself?

==

It’s AIPAC 2011 conference time, Bibi is on his way to town, and BHO has instructed Israel it must retreat to indefensible 1967 borders …

_From: Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel
___To: Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
_Time: 2011-05-19 22:00 GMT

1967 borders? AYFKM? What the hell are you trying to pull? Put me on your calendar for a meeting or Moscow station releases Black Sea photos.

_From: Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel
___To: Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
_Time: 2011-05-23 23:16 GMT

“Good solid B+” on your AIPAC speech. Black Sea photos safe and secure for now.

==

On the occasion of BHO’s open mic gaffe at the 2011 G20 Summit …

_From: Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel
___To: Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
_Time: 2011-11-04 06:11 GMT

Sarkozy should take care of his own Muslim problem and keep his mouth shut. And since when have you been doing anything but double-dealing with me?

==

As Iranian nuclear scientists are mysteriously being awarded untimely demises …

_From: Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
___To: Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel
_Time: 2012-01-11 21:19 GMT

Are you behind scientist assassinations in Iran?

_From: Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel
___To: Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
_Time: 2012-01-11 21:29 GMT

If you had anybody in there, you might have a clue. You should have seen Mohsen Makhmalbaf when I presented him to you.

==

A bi-lateral discussion on the timing of military action against Iran’s nuclear weapons program ...

_From: Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
___To: Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel
_Time: 2012-04-10 21:08 GMT

The new round of crippling economic sanctions is nearly guaranteed to dissuade Tehran from building a nuclear weapon, according to our experts. There is no need to risk military intervention prior to 2013.

_From: Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel
___To: Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
_Time: 2012-04-10 21:17 GMT

Tell your faculty lounge wankers their advice is not welcome here. Good luck with that election.

(AP) – Jack Wiley Dithers Reporting.

Footnotes

Bibi speechification for the ages.

Research into this post yielded two new members of the Schieffer Memorial Blog Roll.

Obama Lies Net ... simply cataloging Barry's untruths ... whoulda thunk it?

White House Dossier... transparently documenting the facts of White House malfeasance ... whoulda thunk it?