It is the Twenties now

Happy New Year. Did you know today marks the second consecutive day in the year 2020 without a boil order having been issued in New Orleans?  Let's keep that going. Good riddance to The Boil Order Decade.

Meanwhile, it turns out that being in a real decade now with a readily comprehensible name brings new responsibilities. People were never comfortable saying "the tens," " the teens" or, god forbid, "the aughts" with any sort of conviction so instead we've spent the past twenty years floating in a vast directionless cultural drift. What was the defining aesthetic of The Aughts? We were never told.

On the one hand, this probably means we've spent the past two decades living more honestly. Marketing departments were never able to sell anyone on the concept of an Aughts or Teens, therefore nobody knows what was the dominant style they were supposed to consume.  On the other hand, it has also felt a bit like being stuck in a vortex where our perception of the passage of time is flattened... perhaps into a circle, if you like.  For example, see here.

The Wonder Years aired from 1988 and 1993 and depicted the years between 1968 and 1973. When I watched the show, it felt like it was set in a time long ago. If a new Wonder Years premiered today, it would cover the years between 2000 and 2005.

Anyway since we're about to get back in the mode of pretending there's some sort of unifying spirit to the arbitrarily defined age we're all living our otherwise disparate and isolated lives through, this also means we're going to have to ret-con themes onto the preceding period as well.  Luckily we already have Naomi Klein's Shock Doctrine theory so we don't have to work very hard at it.  The disasters of the 2000s, the big endless war, the financial crisis, Hurricane Katrina, Avatar, etc. led directly to the broken infrastructure, inequality, privatization, gentrification and cultural destruction that have characterized the 2010s in, well, in many places, but certainly in New Orleans.

So, you know, welcome to the 21st Century. We're finally here. The first thing we'll have to do in the Twenties is figure out whether or not we can survive it.

To a whole new year of disasters

Well here we go again. 2019 feels like it should be a skip year. We're so close to having decades with easily agreed upon names again.  Let's just get this over with and start the 20s already.

But sadly, no matter how post-modern, post-truth, and... well.. still.. just barely pre-apocalyptic the world we live in becomes, we still have to do the years in order for whatever reason and so here we are.  It turns out there's plenty to do this year. There are elections for major statewide offices, including Governor. There are major municipal showdowns brewing over surveillance, housing, and public schools. Also there's a Superbowl to be won.

Last week, I put a blurb in this post about how great the Saints' season has been but I didn't include the two most important data points which could indicate that something special is coming.  The first is the Return of the Mysterious Serval.  (Actually I did mention this in November.)  The fact that a rare African wild cat was spotted on the streets of a Metairie neighborhood this year may seem like a quirky little news item. But it's happened before in Uptown. To be precise, it happened once before. In 2009.  Could it be that the Serval only appears to us when the Saints are on their way to a championship?

Similarly, and I know I have mentioned this previously, the brake tags are black and gold this year.



The last time that happened (albeit in a slightly different hue) was, yep, 2009.



So here is 2019. Yeah there's a lot to worry about, but also the signs are looking rather positive.

Post-Christmas grab bag

It's been a long and exhausting holiday weekend. Here are a few items that may have slipped out of the Santa sack this week.

• The Sewerage and Water Board 2019 budgets are approved.  I'd like to know more about this item.
  

  The operating budget calls for the elimination of more than 130 positions, for a total of 1,581 positions, including 210 that are now vacant. But it includes 21 new jobs dealing with customer service issues.
  
  Korban has said that the positions being cut are ones that were never filled or are not necessary and that the reductions will not impact the utility's frontline operations. The S&WB has consistently struggled to hire the workers it needs to fill all its vacant positions, and staffing shortages have contributed to the problems that led to widespread flooding in August 2017.

  The staffing shortages are a chronic problem and a reason the utility does not function the way it should. But also the 130 unfilled positions are not necessary? Okay.
  
  Meanwhile millions of dollars worth of "critical" and "urgent" projects are going unfunded.
  

  Meanwhile, the S&WB has estimated it will need about $3 billion over the next 10 years to meet imminent and future capital needs. 
  
  Of that amount, 185 projects totaling $582 million were recommended for 2019, significantly higher than the $384 million the agency budgeted in 2018 and far more than it was actually able to spend.
  
  The board instead expects to fund 34 projects next year at a cost of $167 million, leaving dozens of projects labeled "critical," "urgent" and "necessary" on the table.

  The Advocate story refers here to the ongoing dispute between the mayor, the state, and "tourism leaders" over the prospect of using more tourism-generated revenue to fund infrastructure.  As it turns out, the Washington Post is covering that this week for some reason.
  

  Much of the money goes to major state-owned tourism draws: the Superdome and its neighboring arena as well as the massive Ernest N. Morial Convention Center beside the Mississippi River. Changing the flow of money would require legislative action. But so far the mayor’s call for a “fair share” for the city has gotten a cool reception from Gov. John Bel Edwards and the president of the state Senate — as well as from one of the top spokesmen for the tourism industry.

  
  

  “Over time, the city of New Orleans has not put one dollar into the building of the Superdome, the building of the convention center; has not put one dollar into the operations of the Superdome or the Convention Center; has not put one dollar into the average, every-year renewal and refurbishment that has to take place,” said Steve Perry, one tourism booster.

  "Not one dollar.." other than every single cent raised in New Orleans off the backs of chronically exploited tourism labor, I guess. It's our money.  Give us our money, Steve.
  
  
  
• Here is a can't-miss Katy Reckdahl article about the post-Katrina destruction of New Orleans's neighborhoods written for The Weather Channel, of all possible outlets. Because, as we are well aware here, gentrification in our city is, at least in part, a climate change story.




After Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico last year, Carmen Yulín Cruz, the mayor of San Juan, saw the early stages of a housing grab and described it as “disaster gentrification.” Similar buyouts and land-flipping happened in New York after Hurricane Sandy and in Houston after Hurricane Harvey. 

In every city, storm damage and flooding initially displaced people of every ethnicity and income level, though in New Orleans, like elsewhere, communities of color were harder hit because of historically segregated housing patterns that pushed African American households to lower-lying areas. One analysis of black and white households found that black residents were more than twice as likely to live in flooded areas.  

In New Orleans, the disparities were exacerbated during rebuilding, as higher-income people moved into city cores, displacing lower-income families. Similar “back to the city” dynamics are playing out in every urban area across the country. But in disaster-ravaged cities like New Orleans, they’re playing out at fast-forward speed.


Watching this process happen on a daily basis for the past 13 years is why I always have headaches now. The animating ethic of our city's recovery has been about attracting investment and "putting properties back into commerce" with little or no regard for consequences. 


“There’s so much history here,” Bowman said, as he filed through the box. He is feeling worried about his future here on North Galvez. He was blindsided a few years ago when a suburban land investor bought the house from beneath him through a municipal tax sale. At first, Bowman paid rent to stay in his family home. Then, a second buyer appeared earlier this year, giving him a five-day eviction notice. That’s when he consulted a legal-aid lawyer. 

Bowman is hard on himself about the situation. He scraped the house so that it’s ready for painting and has made some repairs on his own, out of an obligation he feels to his great-grandfather’s work. But he doesn’t want to sink more money into the house until he’s certain it belongs to him. So he’s embarrassed that needed repairs have gone undone. He’s ashamed that he and his family didn’t figure out that no one was paying taxes. And he’s worried sick about what the future could bring.

His lawyer, Hannah Adams, of Southeast Louisiana Legal Services, is concerned that other generational owners like Bowman may also have lost houses, because of new municipal ordinances and policies intended to move Katrina-damaged properties into the hands of new owners. 

In 2015, Bowman discovered that, in 1997, a city treasury official had adjudicated the property for back taxes of $577.91, sending certified mail notices to his grandmother, Marie Camille, who had been dead for nine years, and to DeDe Pierce, who had been dead for 23 years. There’s no record of whether certified mail notices were sent and no records of any notices being returned undeliverable.
Had he known, he would have simply paid the taxes, Bowman said.

A process that worked to push multi-generational New Orleanians out of their family homes has also greatly benefited "investors" who can pick up a properties at auction prices and turn them into cash cows on Airbnb. In January, the City Council will discuss a motion that may limit some of these abuses. Naturally, the investors are whining to the Advocate.  


My wife Andrea and I have operated a licensed “temporary” short-term rental in our 7th Ward New Orleans home since February of this year. Under New Orleans Councilwoman Kristin Gisleson Palmer’s proposed changes to the STR ordinance, we will lose this much-needed revenue, and likely be forced to sell our home and leave the area. We bought the double lot on Franklin Avenue at a NORA auction in December 2015 with the stipulation that we would build a new house on the previously blighted property within one year of the auction. Neither of us are professional builders, but over the course of the following year, we managed to complete a modest 900 square-foot home, fulfilling our obligations to NORA. Like many working people, we sought creative ways to finance our project, ultimately receiving the assistance of my in-laws, who obtained a mortgage on our behalf.

It kind of sounds like he's upset that he could lose his STR license because the house isn't technically in his name?  He doesn't say whether or not he and his wife actually live in the "home," though.  The signature on the letter gives his location as Metairie. Anyway, this is only one in a string of confused and/or disingenuous pro-STR letters and op-eds the Advocate has published since basically the day Palmer's motion was publicized.  The "pro" side seems like they were ready to roll.



• I haven't had a chance to watch this WDSU segment on the Orleans Parish school system yet. Is it any good?  Do they talk at all about the Board's decision to charter out McDonogh 35?  



The board heard about two hours’ worth of impassioned commentary before that vote at the evening meeting, mostly from parents and alumni who wanted the school to remain run directly by the OPSB, as nearly all public schools in the city once were.

As they spoke, protesters with the group Families and Friends of Louisiana’s Incarcerated Children cheered them on, sang chants with biblical references and shouted, “Erase the board!”

“These are the alumni of McDonogh 35, these are the parents, these are the children. This is the community,” resident Walter Goodwin told the board. “We did not elect you to be a rubber stamp. Do not rubber-stamp this. We elected you to represent us.”

Several audience members began crying and screaming after the vote.

I watched this meeting on the live stream and, while this Advocate reporter's description is technically accurate, it reads a little cartoonish to me, like she is almost making light of the protest. But "Erase The Board" is likely the beginning of something.   It's something well overdue, of course. Remember all of this was still in front of us in 2016 when the Board was up for election.  Almost nobody ran.



• Are the 2018 Saints the "most complete" team in the history of the franchise? Probably.  Of course we'll have to wait and see how it all ends but, assuming they manage to at least advance a little in the playoffs,  it's really not going very far at all to ask if this is the greatest Saints team.  


The season has had a little bit of everything. It had spin moves. It had dance moves. It had a blowout win against a defending champ. It had a sweep of Atlanta. Drew Brees broke an NFL record. Mark Ingram and Wil Lutz broke team records. Michael Thomas and Alvin Kamara set some early career benchmarks that indicate they'll break records of their own one day.

But the most impressive thing to me has been the way Saints have consistently won tough games against physical opponents at Baltimore, at Minnesota, and at home against Pittsburgh. The key here is the Saints aren't doing any of this with smoke and mirrors. They've gone toe to toe with every heavyweight this year and come out on top.  Anything can happen in the playoffs, but there's nothing we've seen this season to give us any cause not to be confident seeing them matched up with anybody.  That's not often how this goes, even in the better years.



• Finally, hey look, more things go boom on Monday night.



City and tourism leaders have revealed there will be not one, but four fireworks displays launched at different points around New Orleans on Tuesday (Jan. 1) for New Year’s Eve. The shows will start in New Orleans East and follow at City Park and then Uptown before culminating with the traditional downtown display.

Take the celebration out into the neighborhoods a little bit.  I like this idea.  I don't know how much I understand the timing, though.  


The fireworks are scheduled for:




· 8:30 p.m., at Read Boulevard near Interstate 10




· 9:30 p.m., at City Park’s Big Lake near the New Orleans Museum of Art




· 10:30 p.m., from barges on the Mississippi River between Napoleon and Jefferson avenues




· Midnight, downtown from river barges between the French Quarter and Algiers.

The whole point of the fireworks is to mark the coming of the new year, right?   And the point of having them in far flung locations is to bring them to people who probably aren't going to the Quarter anyway. So there's no reason to believe any of these displays conflicts with the others. Why not just do them all at midnight?

Waiting for the internet to thaw

Apparently Cox's tubes freeze over when the temperature gets below 40 degrees here. We've only had internet in short 5-10 minute bursts here for the past two days. [derp]It's like living in a dang third world country in this city let me tell you... har har har etc. [/derp]

Seriously, though. It kind of is.

City recommends dripping taps tonight with the hard freeze.
Fun fact: SWB says residents should not do this longer than necessary because the overall water pressure drop can “make it difficult to fight fires.” https://t.co/aO1yyqRFR6

— Marta Jewson (@martajewson) January 2, 2018

Anyway I don't know how much time I have right now so, very quickly, we got out in the cold mist and followed the Lady Rollers, Pussyfooters and the Hot 8 Brass Band on New Year's Eve. Here are a few pics from that.







Later, we watched a very tired and injured Saints team limp to a weak regular season finish in Tampa.  This has been one of the most fun and memorable Saints seasons. Don't let the high probability of an early playoff exit make you forget that.

Finally, we braved the freezing temperatures to take our traditional walk out onto the St. Charles Avenue neutral ground where you can see the downtown fireworks pretty well without having to elbow through throngs of Alabama fans to get there.



Hopefully this message makes it through whatever Cox's problem is.  In the meantime, hey it's 2018. Start thinking about who should run against Steve Scalise.

Hey look another election

I've got some year-end posts that will probably be up by, like, sometime next week.  But meanwhile, I've been busy on Twitter making a bracket.  Go vote. It's fun.

Who will be the 2017 Full Capacity New Orleanian? Which of these local newsmakers contributed the most "skin in the game" toward making this year as 2017 as possible? Here are your brackets. pic.twitter.com/aiI0da50bW

— skooks (@skooks) December 30, 2017

Happy New Year

We welcomed 2017, as we have the last few years, by taking a walk out along the St. Charles Avenue streetcar tracks.  There's a spot right around Felicity Street from where you can get a decent view of the fireworks coming up off the river. Afterwards the walk back is a great way to hear the surprising amount of supplemental ordinance being detonated in the surrounding neighborhoods. We bring a bottle of champagne with us to swig along the way. The weather was drizzly and overcast last night so the walk was muddier than usual. Although the higher fireworks tended to disappear into the haze, most of the display was quite visible. I can never photograph fireworks with my phone, but imagine them in the top right quadrant of this picture.  It was nice.

This might seem absurd now but I remember feeling especially hopeful last year during that walk.  I don't remember specifically what the reasons were but I was looking forward to 2016. I'm an old now so my memories are more feelings than they are details, I guess. Anyway, I remember feeling like a corner was being turned and we were on to bigger and better things.

Well, that didn't work out so well. As Don Lemon might tell you, 2016 was awful. And that's not just because of the election or because of the superficial meme built around celebrity deaths. This was a difficult year personally for several reasons I guess I shouldn't get into here. Besides, it wasn't a total disaster. Compared to a lot of people's problems, this was more like a long hard slog of annoyances and inconveniences.  We made it through ok. That should count for something.

So what I think I'll remember most about last night is feeling grateful we're still here and we still get to do the things we enjoy. Maybe 2017 will go all to shit too.  But it doesn't necessarily have to.  And we can be here to find out.  That counts for something.

Anyway, break out the black eyes. Here we go again.

Do better, years

Sure sure 2016 was The Worst Ever. We're all so convinced of that for whatever reason. But consider, for a moment, that [CURRENT YEAR] has always been terrible.

Which is what we were thinking on New Year's Day 2016

Still waiting on 2015 to issue an apology

— skooks (@skooks) January 1, 2016

And at the end of 2014

2014 was so bad.
bad bad bad bad

— skooks (@skooks) December 30, 2014

And 2012

My one regret about 2012 ending is that it won't be around much longer for me to slap the shit out of it.

— skooks (@skooks) January 1, 2013

And 2011

Welp I think we just put the cap on the unparalleled awfulness of 2011. Can not wait to put this year from hell to bed.

— skooks (@skooks) December 18, 2011

And, well, it kinda just goes on like this

I know the Saints won the Superbowl and all but man did 2010 suck otherwise.

— skooks (@skooks) December 30, 2010

The lesson, I think, is that we're never satisfied at this point every year and that's probably not such a bad thing.  Our world is full of injustice and things that make us sad generally. There's no reason to sit around and content ourselves with it.  2017 is likely going to be a lot like 2016 was except Donald Trump will be the President.  That's pretty fucked up, right?  Why should we normalize these crappy years? The 2010s have been rubbish.  We need to to better.  We can do better.  But doing better starts with admitting there's a problem.

So, yeah, let's tell 2016 to fuck off.  But let's also not expect our problems to magically go away when we flip the calendar. This is no time to tune out.

Our resilient year

2015 was all about manufactured nostalgia. There was politicaly pointed nostalgia marshaled for the purposes of preserving racist monuments or "making America great again." Commercial nostalgia was calculated to sell us that one movie everyone is talking about. There was sports nostalgia for Saints fans wondering if they've been witnesing the end of an era all season. There was even disaster nostalgia as we in New Orleans spent half the year remembering with varying degrees of proprietary the worst thing that ever happened to us. Today is all about nostalgia nostalgia. Let's all feel kind of weird and unsettled about 2015 one last time. Then it's on to making new memories for marketers and political leaders of the future to exploit.

 

First you do the cooking post

2014 was the worst year.  Let's try not to have another one of those.

We're only five days into 2015 and already there's a lot of stuff to deal with. I've got some bullshit I'd like to jump in with on Scalise-a-thon with but I'm holding back just a bit longer with that. In the meantime, be sure and see Lamar's latest. He focuses on some of the points those rallying to Scalise's cause have raised regarding the topic of his talk (no, it wasn't about the Stelly plan) and the group to which it was addressed (no, it wasn't just some neighborhood association.)

But before we get into that, I want to try something first.  This probably won't work, but I want to do something to exorcise the bad taste of 2014. Superstition dictates that we adhere to certain culinary traditions in order to engender better fortune in the New Year. So maybe the thing to do to kick off January on the Yellow Blog is for me to figure an excuse to put some food pictures up here.

I am an old person now so I've seen New Year's Eve in New Orleans in many different settings; from the living room to the bar room, from the suburbs to the city... and with varied intensities of ordinance going off; from sparklers to fireworks,  from snap-pops to gunshots. I've seen New Years arrive in crowded restaurants, on quiet porches, and in lonely depressing back offices.

You can squeeze yourself in amongst the crowds along the riverfront on the east bank, or you can get a little more elbow room (and a prettier view) from the levee on the west bank.  You can count the New Year in with a few friends in the yard or with a crowd of strangers on Bourbon Street. This crowd was ringing in 2006 just a few short months after Katrina.



One New Year's Eve back during the long ago before time, I had just finished a late shift and was transiting down Bourbon just as midnight was arriving.  As I moved from block to block, different crowds were counting down along with a series of not-exactly synchronous clocks.  This meant that I got to see the new year arrive at Conti Street, and then again at St. Louis, and then a third time at Toulouse.  I'm not sure if I'm owed a few extra years back from the universe because of this.  I am no longer participating in Daylight Savings Time just in case.

In recent years, we've discovered that, if we take a short walk from home, the neutral ground on St. Charles Avenue near Felicity Street is a perfectly cromulent spot from which to view the downtown fireworks and sip champagne from the bottle if that's what you're into.  The advantage of staying close to home, is it gives you time to cook your black eyed peas that evening.  You probably know how this works, but here are some photos anyway.

Some friends drove in from Alabama for a post-Christmas visit.  They brought us gifts including this hog jowl, which is a good place to start.



Here it is rendering out the fat.  Yes, it smells like bacon.



This is just onion, garlic, celery, bell pepper, and parsley.  Yes, of course, when you add it to the jowl fat it smells like candy pie.



Then, after that cooks down, this happens.

 

And then it gets covered in water.  Let's see, what else is in there? There's the jowl bits added back along with some additional ham seasoning. It's basically a big pig meat soup.  Then there's thyme and marjoram, salt and pepper, some cayenne... things that you have in your home right now, probably!



Just bring it to a boil and then simmer it for one to two hours until it thickens up... you know how to do this, I know. That's not the point. The point is, look!



Oh yeah, I made greens too.  You know how to do that as well, I'm sure.

Oh hey,  you know what to do with leftover oysters, though?  After Varg's New Year's Day party there were a few sacks of those still laying around too. Might as well post what happened to those, while we're at it.  I was given a ziploc bag full.



Here is what happened with that.

This is a whole clove of chopped garlic.



This is a bunch of chopped parsely.



This is a fennel bulb.  I chopped that up too.



Here we have a quick "blonde" roux made with 3/4 stick of butter and.. about yay much.. flour.



Here are all those chopped vegetables sauteeing in the roux.



Meanwhile, as all that is happening, here is a cup of some moderately priced savingnon blanc.



And here is about 3/4 cup of heavy cream.



And that's a bunch of spinach.



In this pot is what all that looks like after the liquids have come to a simmer and the oysters and spinach added to poach with the lid on for a little while.



And here is all that stuff combined with the vegetables in the roux base.  (Add salt and pepper and cayenne.)



Here is some pasta cut into novelty shapes.



And that's what all that is.




And that's how we're starting 2015 (pretty much a week late, I guess, but no matter.) Now for the bad news.....

And now I may die

This past Sunday night I got to see The Breeders play the second to last date on their Last Splash XX tour at One Eyed Jack's. Because I am a person of certain age who has certain tastes in popular music, this was kind of big deal for me.  It was a big deal for a lot of other people too, apparently. The show sold out easily.

I can't decide if this says something about The Changing Nature Of Life In New Orleans or if this is what happens to every moderately successful group making its triumphant 20th anniversary nostalgia tour of its most successful album but I can say that twenty... or even ten years ago.. this band might not have even played New Orleans let alone draw this big of a crowd.  It wasn't easy to see from where I was.  I held my phone aloft and took a photo just so I could be sure I was there.



The show was great, though. The tour is supporting the 20 year re-release of the classic Last Splash and so the meat of the show is that album played straight through in its entirety. That was augmented by Safari as an opener and then a couple of encores consisting mostly of songs off of the Pod album including this cover of Happiness Is A Warm Gun.

The crowd was ok. I could have done with a little more room to move, especially when a fight broke out about five feet away from me while the band was playing, I shit you not, "I Just Wanna Get Along." But otherwise, it was a fun night. 

This may sound weird since Kim Deal is such an icon but I actually think she's a little underrated as a musician. Below is a documentary about the Deal sisters from the early 2000s sometime, I think when they were about to put out Title TK.  I really enjoy these interviews shot in the most casual of circumstances with the Deals knocking around their slightly messy East LA apartment. Asked to talk about their approach to music, they end up talking mostly about their OCD ticks.  It's charming and utterly unpretentious.  It also reveals something kind of intimate and genuine about Kim's talent.







Anyway, I'm glad I got to see this act when I did.  Among other things, it means that, stretching back to last September and going on into the coming February, I will have seen Guided By Voices, Yo La Tengo, The Breeders, and Neutral Milk Hotel play in New Orleans. Because it is currently 1994.  Or that plus twenty years.. or... what year is it?

So Happy New Year

2012 was so terrible for so many reasons. I'm not going to catalog them tonight.  Feels like I've been saying this at this time every year for the past few but thank God that is fucking over with.  Maybe better luck this time around.

2011, GTFO

There are about 12 hours left in what's been a truly awful calendar year mitigated a little bit, perhaps, by the not at all classless football season we've been treated to. Although I'd like to qualify that a bit by pointing out that football actually began after what I've come to call the NOLA New Year of August 29 so it's probably affected by a new set of looney lunar phases or something like that.

Excluding that, though, 2011 has been nothing short of putrid. But before we start drinking to forget, let's take a look back at a few of those forgettable moments now.



2011: Technically, it was the year during which this happened.



2011: The year anti-gay crusading preacher Grant Storms was arrested for doing something perverted in public surprising exactly no one.

2011: The year NOPD decided it was okay to pepper spray a Mardi Gras parade but later on became pretty much the only police force to not pepper spray any Occupy protesters.

2011: Also the year the city once again took no action against (although they sent a strongly worded email to) the scofflaws who hog public neutral grounds and obstruct others' enjoyment of Carnival but later decided camping in Duncan Plaza in order to engage in constitutionally protected political speech was a threat to public health.

2011: The year Sean Payton moved his family to Dallas causing civilization as we know it to come to an abrupt end.

2011: The year Ray Nagin and Thomas Morstead became Twitter personalities thus restoring the splendor to our lost civilization.

2011: The year we learned to accept that massive nuclear meltdowns are just going to happen and there's nothing anyone is really going to do about that.

2011: The year the Department of Justice publicly bitch slapped the NOPD. At a subsequent City Council meeting Jackie Clarkson congratulated Chief Serpas on the wonderful job he does.

2011: The year New Orleanians marched in the streets demanding to have their children beaten with paddles.

2011: The year we decided 9-10% unemployment was pretty much a new "structural" normal.

2011: The year BP started getting serious about telling LA fisher and oystermen to drop dead. Of course the advertising money just kept right on coming. Go check WWLTV.com right now and see how fast you can find one of these.



2011: The year Jackie Clarkson threatened to sink runaway barges in the Mississippi River presumably by firing a canon at them or something.

2011: The year Ron Paul told Mississippi River flood victims to suck it.



Also regarding this year's river flooding. Our favorite NOLA.com moment.



2011: The year of the St.Pierre trial. Too much for one line. Just go read Dambala.

2011: The year we almost replaced football season with a series of boring raffles.

2011: Who could forget the Royal Wedding?



Wait... is that the one?

2011: The year of the Seventh Ward Rooster and the Uptown Coyote and all other manner of creatures both real and imagined who we all hope eventually died in a marsh fire.



2011: The year a hurricane stuck the east coast and caused massive loss of life and property in New England prompting Republican congressmen to demand that we think twice before helping them.

Meanwhile one tropical storm struck Louisiana toppling this barricade which warned motorists of a by then year old pothole.



As of this writing, the barricade has not been righted or removed. Nor has the pothole been filled.

2011 in books: Former New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin and former FEMA director Michael Brown took their talents to the publishing world in 2011.



Nagin's title was the source of a great deal of parlor humor as this review by Gambit's Kevin Allman indicates.

Brown promoted his book in New Orleans during the American Library Association conference. I caught up with him at the Garden District Bookshop and secured his autograph.

2011 in music: Well the tragic thing is the big GBV reunion tour skipped over New Orleans altogether causing much consternation. The good news is the new record is out, is really pretty great, and features a song about Fats Domino.



2011 was also the year of this massive summertime hit.



Also released in 2011, this memorable record.

2011: The year Kermit Ruffins decided to go to bed early.

2011: The year Edwin Edwards became the most celebrated man released from prison since Nelson Mandela.

2011: The year of much nonsense about #standing



2011: The year that Jackie Clarkson ordered a helicopter attack on a marsh fire because Ray Nagin tweeted that she should.



2011: The year that Jackie also kind of wished was actually 1950.

2011: The year we sold the name of the city's most beloved public building to a foreign corporate sponsor.

2011: The year of the #notintendedtobeafactualstatement

2011 in food products:





And.. as the second photo indicates, 2011 was the year we learned the secrets of Beefy Mac

2011: The year we learned the Rex organization will sue the fuck out of your minor neighborhood Carnival celebration.

2011: The year we learned the importance of not kicking anybody in the face.

2011: The year some house cat was as much a threat to the incumbent governor as anyone else in the race.

2011: The year this happened


2011: The year we learned the difference between journalism and "lobbying".. or rather we didn't learn that.

2011: Also the year of the #spon-sored tweet.

2011: The year Herman Cain was on TV a lot for some reason.

2011: Something about obscure wildlife, a YouTube meme and a football player or something..



2011: The year they flagged the goddamned punter for taunting.

2011: The year this happened



2011: The year we decided the President of the United States can indefinitely detain American citizens as well as summarily execute anyone in the world whenever he feels like it using a flying robot.

2011: The year we made a turducken gumbo

2011: The year we all agreed to stop calling it "Kennah" and instead just call it "where that idiot is the mayor"



And of course other things happened too. There's no mention in here of the Gusman follies, the city budget wars, the federal government default brinksmanship, the $7.7 trillion in secret Fed bank bailouts, something else insane Jackie Clarkson and/or Gregg Williams said at some point... I could go on.

But it's getting a bit late in the day now which means it's time to stop documenting this year's atrocities and move on to 2012. That is if our proposal to exchange this calendar for the next isn't rejected by David Stern for basketball reasons. Stay tuned.

Happy New Year

Round hole meets square one-shaped peg

Ten years ago I was still young and naive enough to console myself with the idea that one day they'd run out of years numbered in such a way as to permit the sale of these obnoxious novelties on Bourbon Street. But somehow, cheap crap found a way.



Another crappy year behind us. God knows how it can get worse but the evidence tells us a way will be found.

Today is a series of ones and zeroes

Just gonna re-run some old crap this morning and then go watch LSU lose.

1) Here's the step-by-step black eyed peas recipe you're looking for.

2) And here's the obligatory New Year's Day You Tubing



Here we go around again.

And the number one thing we will not miss about the 00s

Those stupid plastic novelty glasses all the cuter-than-thou debs wear to the Gold Mine on New Year's Eve. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones that take advantage of the fact the the 2000s all have the double-zero in the middle to make it possible for assholes to... I don't know... join in on a moment of socially approved canned mischief of something. Well goodbye to all that. I hated that shit the moment I saw it ten years ago and now....

Oh. Oh Goddammit.



Douchebaggery finds a way.

Happy New Year

Resolutions?

Nahh. I'm suspicious of anyone who appears too resolved to accomplish something. Besides, I was too hungover yesterday to reflect very deeply on goals or resolutions and.. seriously, if you spend too much time planning and hoping then you're probably not living right in the first place.

So instead, here are a few half-assed expectations for 2009 that I just thought up (and will quickly forget):

• I expect January 20 will be an emotional day for a lot of people in the same way November 4 was. It won't be very long, however, before the Clinton II Administration starts to feel as disappointing as Clinton I. So enjoy the moment while you can.



• I expect Alabama to kick the crap out of Utah tonight in the Sugar Bowl. I still don't understand the misdirected hatred many LSU fans hold for Nick Saban. He's a prick. So are all football coaches. The unusual thing about Saban is that he's a fairly effective prick. Deal with it.



• I expect Les Miles to be fired. I always expect Les Miles to be fired.



• It's a bit early to get a read on this, but based solely on a gut feeling, I expect the Saints to improve on their 8-8 finish next season. Could be, however, that since I have correctly predicted the team's record for two consecutive seasons now, I might just expect it's time for that streak to end. In other words, don't go running to Vegas just yet.



• This blog has gotten a bit extra-crappy in the past few months. I might expect that to change... but I won't try very hard to do anything about it.



• I expect I'm about ready for Carnival season.



• I expect Bobby Jindal to have a rougher time of things this year. He's already made some enemies in Baton Rouge and as stupid and incapable as those enemies may be, they are enemies nonetheless. Plus it's never much fun for a Governor of a state running such a huge budget deficit. Expect trouble. And, since it's Louisiana, expect it to be funny.



• I expect at least one more major local political scandal to break this year. But the current Hayride era of one federal investigation after another has to come to an end at some point. This may be Jim Letten's last go-round as US attorney. Eli has been speculating about potential challengers to David Vitter in 2010. I'm surprised I haven't seen Letten's name mentioned yet.



• I expect life in New Orleans to continue to be as sad and frustrating as it is beautiful and hilarious. I expect I would shrivel up and die if I ever had to leave.

And now that I've wasted yesterday being hungover and most of this morning on the internets, I'm going out to mess with the football fans in the quarter. I expect it to be mildly amusing.

Happy New Year

On December 31 of last year, Dr. Morris wrote a short post wishing 2007 a not-so-fond farewell. That post concluded, "Oh, and next year will rock." Ashley was a year early.

2008 was a mostly crappy mixed bag but we are expecting 2009 to rock indeed. I'm looking forward to a less active but more interesting year in politics as the new President takes on the difficult task of cleaning up after the outgoing one, a better Saints result in a make-or-break season for Coach Soupy, the end of the Ed Blakely era in New Orleans, and... some fairly exciting personal developments as well.

In the meantime, though, I've got a pot of gumbo simmering on the stove and team Fire Miles is about to take the field in Atlanta so... it's obviously time to start drinking.

Happy New Year.

When good luck goes bad

Carnival season began a week ago tomorrow. In New Orleans this is traditionally the time when people begin taking down their Holiday decorations and putting their Christmas trees out on the curb as a placebo to placate their collective anxiety over Louisiana's unrelenting coastal loss. This week is also a time for dealing with one more Holiday remnant.

This morning I cleaned out my refrigerator. I had a big grocery run scheduled for the afternoon which meant I needed space in the fridge. Which, in turn, meant it was time, finally, to deal with the large plastic containers that had been sitting on the middle shelf since January 1. They contained what was left of the massive vats of black eyed peas and cabbage I had made in order to keep with the long observed tradition of eating those dishes on New Year's Day, supposedly to bring good luck in the new year.

I don't know why I always cook at least three times as much of any food as we could possibly eat. But I can tell you that if you were to eat what was in those tupperware containers today instead of two weeks ago, you'd probably experience something very different from "good luck".

But back on January 1, it was good stuff. Here. I took pictures.

Black Eyed Peas

Notice how terribly uncomplicated and basic all of the recipes that appear on the Yellow Blog are. The simplest things are often the best. These peas go together exactly the same way a pot of red beans does. You throw 'em in a pot with one or more pork products and let 'em simmer 'til dinner time. Still, I know how much you guys like step-by-step instructions so here goes.

Before you run out for your New Year's Eve festivities, go into your giant walk-in dry goods pantry and retrieve a one pound package of Camellia brand black eyes.


Empty the package into the big blue pot you inherited from your grandmother, cover the peas with water, and leave them to soak overnight.



Go downtown and get drunk as hell on cheap champagne watching fireworks and freezing your butt off on the Moonwalk as yet another strange-ass year moves on out to make way for the next strange-ass year. Wake up early the next morning all bright-eyed and clear-headed and ready to take on the New Year and .... Yikes!



Okay then wake up sometime around noon on New Year's Day, make a big pot of coffee, shower and try to shake off the hangover. Now get back in the kitchen, drain the peas and set them aside while you chop your vegetables. Here's what you'll need.


That's onion, celery, bell pepper and parsley. No surprises there, I'm sure.

Oh shit, I almost forgot the garlic!


By the way, check out my brand new Wustof chef's knife in that picture. Pretty sweet, right? It was a good Christmas.

Anyway now you'll want to go back to that big blue pot on the stove. Heat up a little olive oil and then throw in the obligatory pork. It's up to you what form of pork you like here. In the past I've used smoked sausage, pickled meat, and hamhocks. All of these are excellent choices. This year I went with a package of chopped ham seasoning I picked up at Rouse's.



Brown the meat then remove it from the pot and set it aside. The process should have rendered plenty of delicious pork fat drippings. It's a nice start... but, of course, you'll still need about a stick of butter.



Mmmm butter. Okay now throw it in the pot and melt it down.



Mmmm pork remnant & butter soup. I know you want to start dipping your french bread in there but try to remember all that work you did chopping those vegetables. Yeah, now throw all that stuff in there and let it start cooking.



Once the vegetables cook down a bit, this is really just a matter of assembling things. Return your drained peas and browned pork to the pot, give the whole thing a healthy dose of the seasonings pictured below.



From left to right, that would be salt, thyme, bay leaf, basil, marjoram, cayenne pepper, and black pepper. Add enough water to cover the peas, put the lid on the pot and leave to simmer. This could take between one and a half to two hours depending on how high you set the fire to go. In the meantime, well it's New Year's Day there's bound to be a game on TV.

Of course you'll need to make some cabbage too. I used to hate cooked cabbage growing up. But somehow my mother found a way to get me eat it every year... that's why I lead the lucky and charmed life I live today. But I still didn't look forward to cabbage on New Year's Day until I came across this recipe in the Times-Pic about five or six years ago.

• Chop and brown one pound of andouille sausage in a large pot.
  
  



• Remove sausage and sautee one regular onion in olive oil.



• Add one jar of Italian olive salad,
  
  
  
  One can of chopped tomatoes, and Crystal or Tobasco hot sauce to taste. Stir.
  
  



• Return the sausage to the pot and start adding your cabbage a little bit at a time until it all cooks down. You can cover this pot and let it simmer until the peas are done.

You'll know the peas are done when the water in the pot reaches a milky consistency and the pork seasoning meat starts to fall off of the bone.



Eat up and repeat at least once a year every January 1st for... you know... good luck.



And while you're at it you may as well share some with the neighbors. This way you'll all have better luck this year... and maybe there won't be any leftovers to clean two weeks later.