What's next?

In Iraq, now that voting is done,
The question is not just who's won;
But can they unite
To abandon the fight
With a true rule of law, not of gun?

Beyond the bullets, a new constitution is the crucial issue for this democracy
The Guardian, 1/31/05

Condom failure in Spain

The conception that condoms make safe
Gave the bishops in Spain a real chafe.
The pope is didactic
On acts, prophylactic:
He demands that you wear only faith.

Spanish Bishops Rebut Spokesman's Support of Condoms
Washington Post, 1/20/05

Inaugural blues

Tomorrow's the day to give vent
And to protest the lives that were spent
On a war waged in haste
And the millions we waste.
If you're blue, then don't spend a red cent!



Or if you have more to not spend,

Imperial designs?

To Prince Harry:

Nazi emblems can truly offend
For the message of hate that they send
But the choice in your dress
Might express even less
Than the party you chose to attend


The party that caused a king-size hangover
How Nazi gear, a popular society choice, put Harry in the doghouse
The Guardian, 1/14/05

Hypoallergenic nominee?

Shake that Kerik embarrassing hurt off
With Security chief, Michael Chertoff!
We've vetted, blood-letted,
And never regretted
The Dyson® we bought to get dirt off.


Bush demonstrates how the patented cyclonic action removes any trace of nanny problems, personal indiscretions, and even the slightest speck of data suggesting Chertoff engineered the infamous PATRIOT Act.

Bush Selects Appeals Judge for Homeland Security Post
NPR, 1/11/05

"Quaint" testimony

"Were the prison abuses a pity?
Yes, I guess that they weren't very pretty.
How is torture defined?
Well if, sirs, you don't mind;
It's a lot like this Senate committee!"

Mr. Gonzales's Testimony
Washington Post, 1/7/05

There is a Sanity Clause!

If compassion, these days, seems a rarity,
All in favor of mental health parity
Please donate to NAMI.
It won't take a swami
To see prophets are given to charity.

Thank you to all who purchased a copy of the Savant's Four Year Funk, a hand-printed, signed, limited edition collection of pearls from the last four years. As promised, I will be sending off a check to my local NAMI chapter (with a little extra from me). Surprisingly, there are still some copies left, which I may offer for sale,(profits to charity) if there is sufficient interest. Drop me a line to inquire.

For those of you who are interested in contributing directly, here is a link:

National Alliance for the Mentally Ill

Wave of indifference

Tens of thousands have gone to their grave,
Whom a warning might easily save.
A child cries for mommy
When, like the tsunami,
We dismiss her with simply a wave.

Tsunami warnings too little, too late
The Seattle Times, 12/28/04

Naked Truth

In Texas, you'll find it's now true,
You can't dance without top unless you
Have permit displayed;
For thusly arrayed,
You're giving us license to view.

Hey, Can I Get a Closer Look at That Permit?
Reuters, 12/20/04

Nuts! to the Squirrel

I'm so pleased that you mentioned my site.
Will I lose any sleep over spite?
You can say want you want
About the Savant,
Just so long as you get the link right.

"Worst Blog Ever"
Rico the Squirrel, Shut Yer Blog, 12/12/04

Hitting the books

The effects will be decades to gauge
But the notion is clearly the rage.
With libraries scanned
As Google ^® has planned,
We're turning the digital page.

Top libraries to go online in deal with Google
The Guardian, 12/15/04

On the Beach

I've read what the diet docs preach.
So, I'm putting the carbs out of reach
And starting the diet.
Just wish I could try it
While actu'lly there on South Beach.

An iron-clad defense?

That Rumsfeld is such a snake charmer!
When asked, "What's become of the armor?"
While soldiers hunt scraps
To withstand booby-traps;
He tried to convince us it's karma.

GIs come up short on armor, answers
Chicago Sun Times, 12/10/04

Intelligence overhaul requires intelligence, overall

Prepare for the gathering storm
As Congress enacts this reform.
We'd trust the new bill
From Capitol Hill
If intelligence, there, were the norm.

Senate to Vote on Intelligence Reform Bill
NPR Morning Edition, 12/8/04

And Barry, "There is no Santa Claus either!"

His records are not what they seemed:
Poor Barry was just double-teamed?
No steroids he'd claim;
His trainer's to blame.
It appears he was "cleared" and got "creamed!"

What Bonds told BALCO grand jury
San Francisco Chronicle, 12/3/04

Justice delayed and denied

Twenty years have now past since Bhopal
And its tragic events touched us all.
Yet, even today,
The toxins hold sway;
Half a million are touched by the pall.


After 20 Years, Effects of Bhopal Tragedy Linger
NPR, 12/3/04

No, it's not Tom Ridge!

The nation's been wondering when
He'd return to the ranks of mere men.
A Jeopardy star
And longest, by far.
In the form of a question: "Who's ?"

Ken Jennings from 'Jeopardy!' ends 74-game win streak
Seattle Post Intelligencer, 12/1/04

Rude-olph Awakening

It's too early for Christmas, by golly,
And, at five in the morning, it's folly.
So, guess my surprise
When I woke to Burl Ives.
Well, I felt neither "holly" nor "jolly!"

Look Who's 40: 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer'
NPR, Morning Edition, 12/1/04
[N.B. The Savant's clock radio is tuned to NPR. What else?]

Canadians' beef with Bush

The Canucks have been wondering how, boy
We can still ban their beef, even now, boy.
They believe Bush's war
Kinda evens the score
Since we have our own case of mad cowboy!



Frigid Embrace for Bush
washingtonpost.com, 11/30/04

OH my gawd!

A solution that seems almost sane?
New elections without any pain?
The Dems in Ohio
Are wondering why, oh
Why can't they act like the Ukraine?


Departing Ukrainian President Would Support New Election
The New York Times International, 11/29/04

One Month Later, Fight Over Ohio Continues
The Guardian, 11/29/04

Rememberin' Tiananmen

For today, I'll be joining the ranks
Of dissenters who want to give thanks
That, unlike in Ukraine,
We are free to complain
Without fear of reprisal with tanks.

Ukraine's chorus of protest grows
BBC News, Kiev, 11/25/04

Team America Bush

A mixed review

You will love the celebrity zings
And be howling as Kim Jong-Il sings;
But it's not as absurd
As our own Thunderbird,
Mr. Bush, and those pulling his strings.



Ready to set up another puppet regime


Team America: the movie

His Holy Grail: T.Hanks for the movie deal

Dan Brown always knew it a cinch he
Would gain some renown from "Da Vinci."
But how lazy writing
Gets deemed so exciting?
This must be a dream; someone pinch me!

Cracking the 'Code'
NewsWeek, 11/22/04

DeLayed Action

Republicans say there's no trouble
With leader, DeLay, on the bubble:
"We're changing the rule
And won't that be cool.
Our ethical standards will double!"

GOP Moves to Protect Majority Leader DeLay
The Guardian, 11/17/04

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here

--Dante Alighieri

Whether kidnapped or shot where they fell,
When captives are killed we can tell
What Sherman once noted
And often is quoted:
Suffice it to say, it's all Hell!

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, more vengeance, more desolation. War is hell.
--William Tecumseh Sherman

Rules of engagement
The Guardian, 11/17/04

Kidnapped Aid Worker Hassan Feared Dead
NPR, All Things Considered, 11/16/04

The last of his Tribe

Adios, Senor Omar Vizquel -
You're the last of a Tribe we knew well.
It was such a short stop
From bottom to top
But you leave as a Giant. Farewell!


Omar's farewell letter
The Plain Dealer, 11/16/04

The New World

The extremists are easily spied
For a trait that they share in their pride.
No matter the name,
They sound much the same
When they claim they have God on their side

"Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side;
my greatest concern is to be on God's side..."
--- Abraham Lincoln

Thanks to Anonymous whose comment in the previous post inspired this one.

Don't change horses on the way to the Apocalypse

The Apocalypse looms ever nearer.
Hear that bell as it rings all the clearer?
For whom does it toll?
Just look to your soul;
Mr. Bush can just look in the Mirror.


London Daily Mirror, 11/4/04

Once upon a time...

Looks like Bush will be claiming the laurel
So we guess that's the end of the quarrel?
It's the same fairy tale
But, this time, it can't fail
Since we're told it has more than one moral.

Issue of Moral Values Trumps other Voter Concerns
NPR Morning Edition, 11/3/04

Trolitcal poupe

They're a troupe of political reps
Lifting spirits like comic adepts.
See demockracy work
With a musical quirk
When you visit the Capitol Steps

Limerick Savant seen with niece at the Capitol Steps
Cleveland, 10/30/04

I quote: "Please vote!"

"If one candidate is trying to scare you, and the other's trying to get you to think; if one is appealing to your fears, and the other is appealing to your hopes - it seems to me you ought to vote for the person who wants you to think and hope."
--William Clinton

There's no graver decision this year
And the choice now is perfectly clear.
When casting your vote,
Don't do it by rote
And please vote from your hope not your fear.

Yes, this limerick is really a chain
Which is something I mostly disdain
But pass on this note
To ten friends who vote
If you do then we all stand to gain

Click the envelope icon below to send this reminder

The carrot vs. the stick
Brian McGrory, The Boston Globe, 10/26/04

Red Sox Reverse

To the psychics computing the odds
That St. Louis would leave us in shards:
We curse the Bambino;
He's dead, so wha's he know?
Guess winning was not in the Cards!

[note: it rhymes if you're from Boston]

YES!!!
Red Sox complete sweep, win first Series since 1918
Boston Globe, 10/28/04

Refuge

Tired of pundits predicting the races
And opinions without any basis?
You'll know where you stand
On this partisan sand
When you visit the Liberal Oasis.

It's about time

It's cheers to those miracle Sox
Who've suffered through years of hard knocks.
But now they give thanks;
Down three to the Yanks,
They finished by cleaning their clocks!

Red Sox want to blast the past
USA Today, 10/21/04

A question

To Mr. Bush:

Have you done everything that you can
To end genocide in Sudan?
You say you abhor
The deaths in Darfur
But you've buried your head in the sand.

Kerry outraged at Bush's 'toothless' response to Darfur
TurkishPress.com, 10/17/04