War on a lie

[Now there's a scary title]

The current Iraqi morass
Raises scares that no film could surpass.
When King George gets sincere
It increases our fear
Of political snakes in the grass!

Finish What Job?
President Bush's simplistic rhetoric could be used
to justify open-ended commitment in Iraq.
The Los Angeles Times, August 22, 2006

Enough is enough!

I've had it with this motherf***n' hype
in the motherf***n' media!

Take a concept that’s purely inane,
Then hype it ‘til fans go insane;
And what should be a bomb
Will become a phenom.
Could the sequel be Sharks on a Train ?

'Snakes on a Plane' can't lose
Two stars out of four
By Michael Phillips The Chicago Tribune, 8/18/06

Byron's and Tiger's and Bear's; oh my!

Without any "what ifs" or "shoulds,"
This guy can deliver the goods.
Now that he’s on his game
His opponents seem tame.
Beware; Tiger is out of the woods!

Tiger Finds Way To Exclusive Club
By Michael Wilbon, The Washington Post, 8/21/06

Small wonder

Many hope that there will come a day
Of justice for poor JonBenet;
But who measures the cost
In innocence lost
While such children are put on display?



Suspect Held in Ramsey Slaying
Man, 41, Arrested In Thailand
By T.R. Reid and Spencer S. Hsu
The Washington Post, 8/17/06

My "L" word is Laughter

My views on the news that apply
Are to laugh long and hard, lest you cry.
This NeoCon climate
Makes clear what a crime it’s
Sans humor in Liberal supply.

Carnival of the Liberals #19: The Parody Poetry Edition
One Flew East, 8/15/06

Planetary lost and found?

Poor Pluto was fast losing ground
‘Til the IAU chose to expound
On what is a planet.
Don’t take nine for granite
With a dozen about to come round.

Round and Orbity? Must Be a Planet
By John Johnson Jr.
The Los Angeles Times, 8/16/06

Political kiss of death

Some advice for politicians

At constituents’ views, never scoff,
If you feed at the government trough
Or you might go amiss
Just like Joe and "The Kiss,"
While the voters are kissing you off.



But it worked for Madonna!

Lieberman pays a price for Iraq stance
San Jose Mercury News, 8/10/06

War is hard; peace is simple

There simply can be no excuse
For these countries to not reach a truce.
Either see eye-to-eye
Or let innocents die!
Is the answer that hard to deduce?

Sixty-one years and we still have not learned one of the key lessons of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. See Cowntown Pattie's excellent post for more on that subject.

Israeli Jets Kill 30; No Letup in Militia Attacks
Arab League Ministers Call for Cease-Fire,
But Israel Signals Expansion of Offensive
By Edward Cody and Molly Moore
The Washington Post, 8/8/06

My last post

To those of you applauding: No, I didn't mean it like that!

I reread it and started to doze;
It was wordy by half, heaven knows.
The Savant can be terse
When writing in verse
But he tends to run on and on and on, with seemingly endless explication, often including parenthetical asides, (this man could really use an editor) (and isn't it annoying when he refers to himself in the third person?!!) and taking forever to make, what is usually not all that interesting, a point, whenever he sits down and puts pen to paper (or, more appropriately, bit to chip, since the handwritten word, long ago, went the way of the dot matrix printer) to endeavor to express his thoughts, however trivial, slight or downright meaningless, in the form of prose.

Hot off the presses

'Til it's gone, we don't know what we've got,
Nor pay notice 'til something is not;
But you might be surprised
That I just realized
That, for days, it's been gawdawful hot!

This is a total fabrication, of course. Not that it's been hot but that I just noticed. In fact, I have been following the study increase (with only a couple days reprieve) of above normal temperatures in Cleveland for the past three weeks like Philip Marlowe on the trail of a murderous heiress. I just didn't think it was worth mentioning until there was a break in the case, so to speak.

So now that I spent half of last Sunday, one of the hottest so far, installing a window air conditioner in the bedroom that serves as an office; we are finally getting some relief. We have been able to survive the Cleveland summers with the help of ceiling fans for years, enduring the odd, exceptionally hot, day here and there. I finally broke down and bought a bedroom air conditioner a few years ago after a sleepless week brought on by a heat wave. And that seemed to do the trick until mid July of this year.

Now after a couple weeks of really uncomfortable weather and Rene trying to write her book and me hoping to attain a modicum of tranquility by organizing the office, we were faced with the question of how to create a workspace livable for someone other than the firemen in the Titantic's engine room. Whole house AC is out because we have steam heat and a retrofit would be far too expensive. On the other hand, a second window unit raised worries about tripping breakers in a house with wiring that Edison would have found antiquated. Never the less we opted to take the chance, figuring we could always alternate operation of the ACs since work and sleep hours don't overlap.

I found a bargain on a nice unit small enough to be easy on the amps, though it took considerable tinkering to get the right fit in our windows. By late afternoon, with sweat burning my eyes, I was able to tap the remote until a lovely glowing red 75 appeared on the digital display and cool air gushed forth from the cheap plastic grate. Within hours, the formidable "88" on the display had sunk all the way down to a tolerable "82," so baked in was the heat to walls and ceiling.

Now, 5 days later, I sit in the comfort of a still cluttered but much cooler office awaiting tomorrow's break in temperature but confident in my ability to thwart the heat demons at the touch of a button should they return. I am only troubled by the worry that now that I am able to go from "temperature controlled" house to car to work to car to house to car, etcetera, etcetera; my brief encounters with the typical Cleveland summer environment will become more intolerable and I shall hardly ever want to breathe what passes for fresh air here again. Well, at least I may finally organize the office.

Weather Cooling, But More Rain on Way
WCPN, 8/3/06

Remembering the cost

It’s a year, and one tear can revive
All the grief for a parent deprived
Of the life of a son.
That war’s never done
For survivors of 3/25.

In Ohio, Marines' Deaths Still Felt
Joe Milicia, The Wahington Post, 8/3/06

My name is Mel and I’m an __________

a. Actor
b. Alcoholic
c. Angry a*hole
d. Anti-Semite
e. All of the above

In ever cynical Hollywood, the response to Mr. Gibson’s latest embarrassment was something less than outrage. One imagines the memo from his agent:

Stop drinking! I’m telling you, Mel.
You know we have movies to sell.
When acting the critic,
Who’s anti-Semitic,
Your Passion has not served you well.

Gibson Arrest Probe Centers on Why Information Was Withheld
Civilian watchdog is investigating whether the actor got special treatment.
After the star was booked, a deputy drove him to his car.
By Richard Winton, Andrew Blankstein and Megan Garvey,
The Los Angeles Times, 8/2/06

Vote 'til you drop?

So, WalMart has recently backed
Rights of voters, but showed little tact,
In supply and demand,
When they asked to expand
Them by adding a Shopping Rights Act^*.

^*We understand this proposed legislation purports to increase voter access and turnout by mandating that all polling locations be moved to the nearest WalMart. Plus an additional 15% off at the register for those voting a straight Republican ticket!

Voting Rights Finds Friends in Big Business
NPR Morning Edition, 7/27/06

Survival of the twit-test

Geneticists found a solution
For uncovering new evolution.
By measuring genes,
They now have the means
To map an event's contribution.

And armed with this means of detection
They've identified recent selection;
But it still can't reveal
The errant allele
That resulted in Bush's election!

Thanks to George at Brewed Fresh Daily for allerting me to the story. It's worth a read if only for the wonderful evolutionary morph of Stephen Jay Gould.

And the Evolutionary Beat Goes On . . .
By Shankar Vedantam, The Washington Post, 7/24/06

The 3 Rs - Readin', wRitin' & Robbery?

The myst'_y of "whe_e a_e the _s?"
Is hist'_y, the _ogues behind ba_s.
The culp_its we_e caught
But the _uckus they w_ought's
Like a bliste_ that's su_e to bea_ sca_s.

Letter Rs Stolen From Ind. Signs Returned
The Washington Post, 7/22/06

The medium is the massage

How could the Savant resist jumping on the bandwagon



Bush’s German back rub magnified on YouTube
MSNBC, 7/21/06

Lights out in Cleveland

The news is just making me sick
That the Tribe, for a minor league pick,
Extinguished the light.
Might as well say, "goodnight,"
Since Shapiro has snuffed out the Wick.

Wickman era comes to a close
Veteran dealt to Braves; Carmona takes over role
Paul Hoynes, The Plain Dealer, 7/21/06

Ayatollah you "no!"

"The veto is not based on constitutional or legal objections. He is vetoing it because he says he believes it is immoral. Mr. President, you are not our moral ayatollah, maybe the president, nothing more."
-----Tom Harkin (D) Senator from Iowa

Bush vetoed this bill with a grin
That masked his war-mongering twin.
Invoking morality
Just shows, in reality,
What a hypocrite Dubbaya's been.

In First Veto, Bush Blocks Stem Cell Bill
By David Stout, The New York Times, 7/19/06

Gratitude of debt?

Monetarily, given the toll,
We are wondering what is his goal
When Bush cries, "Hurray!"
That, as of today,
We are $300 bil. in the hole?

White House sees smaller federal deficit this year
By Caren Bohan and Tim Ahmann
Washington Post, 7/11/06

Bet it doesn't help

There is no turning craps into heaven
But, for gamblers, could chance tend to leaven
The news of this bill
When, on Capitol Hill,
It passes on 7 - 11?

House Approves Crackdown on Online Gambling
By Kate Phillips, The New York Times, 7/11/06

This is not Mission Impossible!

Inconvenient or not, I implore
You to take in the Truth, ala Gore.
The glacial-ice pace
That our leaders embrace
Fuels a crisis we cannot ignore.

If you haven’t already, I urge you to see the film. It will be mobilizing for those of you that recognize the urgency of the global warming issue and enlightening for those that have been swayed by the corporate spin doctors.

I must admit that the cynic in me (and what part isn’t?) couldn’t help but think about the springboard this movie could be for a "Gore in 2008" campaign. I hope that impression doesn’t obscure the important message about what we are doing to our environment. But maybe if the guy who "was once the next president of the United States" was, I wouldn’t have been writing the following back in 2002.

Mr. Bush has a plan, that is bold,
To stop global warmth, we are told.
The Kyoto Accord
Is completely ignored
To ensure that the plan leaves us cold.

We tried to do our part by walking to the film and, even several weeks into the run, the theater was pretty full for Monday bargain night. I can’t vouch for the ratio of hybrids to SUVs in the parking lot, however. And my critics will remind me how I contribute to the problem with all the "hot air" generated at this blog. I guess I need to go plant another tree.

An Inconvenient Truth (2006)
Directed by Davis Guggenheim
In a theater near enough to walk to

Not so grand slam

What sort of deplorable wonk
Could ignore the performance of Pronk?
His omission, it’s clear,
From the All-Stars this year
Is a Travis-ty. Fans got it wrongk!

Pronk'd: Hafner is overlooked
Indians' DH keeps his sense of humor over All-Star slight
By Phil Rogers, The Chicago Tribune, 7/9/06

Sexy at sixty

[And I don't mean Dubya!]

So much in a package so teeny-
It’s work of a fashion Houdini.
The consummate Gaul!
From nothing atoll,
He conjured the Age of Bikini.



The bikini: Not a brief affair
By Kathryn Westcott, BBC News, 7/5/06

A missile's as good as a mile

N. Korea must know what a shock it
Would cause when they shot off that rocket;
Like risking your life
To sharpen a knife
Inside an electrical socket.

North Korea Test-Fires Seventh Missile
Japan and U.S. Condemn Action
By Anthony Faiola and William Branigin
Washington Post, 7/5/06

Quit blowing smoke!

To cigarette industry folk
Who’d let all the rest of us choke
While claiming “no harm:”
D’ya hear that alarm?
Your argument’s gone up in smoke!

Secondhand smoke debate 'over'
By Liz Szabo, USA TODAY, 6/27/06

There's battle lines being drawn...

and redrawn, and redrawn, and...

Juan Q. Voter, you’re just a by-stander
Since the Court has decided to pander
To districts, redrawn.
Your proxy is gone.
Your new Congressman? Meet Gerry Mander!

High Court Upholds Texas Redistricting
By David G. Savage, Los Angeles Times, 6/29/06

Taking the reins

I’m back in the saddle again
And thanks to my true bloggin' friends,
Whoopi-ty-aye-oh,
I’m a-rarin’ to go.
I've sharpened my tongue and my pen.

Thanks to these pardners who offered words of encouragement when the Savant got bucked into the brambles. Give them a visit cuz it can get mighty lonely bloggin' out there on the range.

Annie at Taking into consideration

Aparna at newsmericks

Tamar now at Mining Nuggets

Alan at Some Final Thoughts

spookyrach at Skewed View

mikmik at ? [when you getting your own site Mike?]

And these two special pards who corraled their own herd to drive toward these here parts.

Cowntown Pattie at Texas Trifles

Ronnie at Time Goes By

Dried wit

Inspiration is petering out
And it’s led to a lingering doubt
That Limerick’s reign
Will suffer the bane,
Like the West, of significant drought.

SIZZLING DAYS OF SUMMER ARE HERE
July through September U.S. Summer Outlook
NOAA News, 6/20/06

Time will tell

Can the death of Zarqawi be bartered
For the violent acts he has chartered,
Or will the insurgency
Feel a new urgency
At having a leader thus martyred?

Al-Zarqawi Killed in U.S. Bombing in Iraq
By Patrick Quinn, The Washington Post, 6/8/06

Goes together like a horse and...

It is hard for us not to disparage
Bush's latest and greatest miscarriage.
Though he hasn't done jack
About drugs or Iraq,
He is launching the war against marriage.

I know that my critics may say
That the ban is against being gay;
And, yes, that is true,
But only if you
Think a family's created one way.

A prize to the first one who guesses the remainder of my title.
Hint: It is also what the Savant thinks of this proposed constitutional amendment.

Distracter in Chief
Spinning Phony Crises to Avoid Real Ones
By Eugene Robinson, The Washington Post, 6/6/06

Poverty of speech

No student of verse should be cursed
By having his fortunes reversed.
I'd never have reckoned
My thoughts would come second
In order to please TeachersFirst

This is much more than a mere collection of contemporary limericks. It is rather a witty and provocative poetic commentary on politics, government, and economics... It's acerbic ... and not for the easily offended, but it does provide a creative way to begin a class discussion on a hot topic. ...preview carefully before sharing with students. [emphasis mine]
---excerpt from Site Resources listing at TeachersFirst

Now that school's out on that one, the Savant, who hates respectability, hopes to shake his recent writer's block and be back in form next week.

Recent Additions to TeachersFirst
TeachersFirst.com
[or search for "limerick" at this site]

Du vin, chichi code

This week they, again, were divining
Whose vintage is tops, or declining.
Thirty years since the test
When the U.S. fared best,
But the French haven't ever stopped wining.

California wines beat French again
By Laurie Daniel, San Jose Mercury News, 5/24/06

Indulging my vanity

No need to ask "Where's the beef?" It's all there in the 192nd Carnival of the Vanities at Elisson's blog, including a tidbit on word origins.

Many thanks to him for including one of the Savant's recent posts in the feast:

The Limerick Savant is funny,
And, often, he’s right on the money.
In just one poem, he’s taken
Monty Python, Kevin Bacon,
And Al Qaeda. But where is Bugs Bunny?
---Elisson

Though he may have butchered the limerick form a bit in that one, it's a rare collection, and well done.

Carnival of the Vanities #192
Blog d'Elisson, 5/23/06

The Real Code

With nothing but utter disdain,
Our government's grown more arcane;
And tell me whose whim
Coined this new acronym
That's taken SAVANT's name in vain?!

Punting the Interesting Answers to the Secret Session
By Dana Milbank, The Washington Post, 5/19/06

Opie's Day

Ron hopes that more protests explode
When ticket sales start to erode.
It don't take Da Vinci
To know it's a cinch he
Already deciphered that code!

From Hollywood, a Prayer in 'Code'
By Eugene Robinson, The Washington Post, 5/19/06