michelle dubois

my dear friend, michelle dubois passed away on the morning of her 50th birthday, after an almost year long battle with ovarian cancer. we met over 20 years ago and became fast friends and have remained close all these years. she loved and cared and was genuinely interested in others. if you knew her, you loved her. she was a light. she was smart and spiritual and beautiful and so much fun. she loved matt and our girls and we loved her back. i will miss her greatly. the trips, hikes, plays and adventures, phone calls and late night chats are even sweeter memories now that she's gone. i'm grateful to have called her my dear friend. i'm grateful to know that death is not the end. and her spirit is free from her physical body that was so sick. she was a master teacher and example. she will be missed but not forgotten. love you dube. 

20 july 2016

i was relieved that things worked out for us to go to boise for her funeral. we got back late from cherry hill on saturday night and we left for boise sunday morning. matt had the day off for pioneer day on monday, so it all worked out so great. i couldn't bear the thought of missing it.

the girls were such good sports to be in the car so long. we took a pit stop in twin falls for lunch and stretched our legs at the gorge. there's really not much to look at on the drive.

we stopped at the boise temple to change our clothes for the viewing. in the parking lot. it was hot.

{it tickled me that her journal was open to her 34th birthday and my name was there on the page of those who had sent birthday wishes}

{michelle and her great friend scott squires, whom we knew as a young missionary in southern cali}

i enjoyed seeing michelle's family at the viewing. she looked good. annie was not comfortable seeing her body so she and molly stayed in the hallway. i loved the things her family had on display in the other room. a big framed photo of her family. her scriptures. they were worn and loved and marked all over. her hiking boots and bag, her journals and loads of photographs. i saw mark after so many years. he seems so different than the old mark i remember, but it was good to see him.

when i told the girls were were staying with one of my best friends from college, lucy said, "how many best friends do you have?!" kelly is a gem. i met her as a young freshman at ricks college. she was fun and cute and hilarious. now she's a mom of 5 and she's all those things plus so much more. she put us up for the night, fed us meals, made us laugh, and was so generous and kind. she and dave have a beautiful family and home and life in eagle, id.  i absolutely loved seeing kelly and dave. i forgot how funny dave is. i wish we lived closer.

the funeral was really nice. we sat right up front. her brother in law, greg shared excerpts from letters friends and family had submitted for her 50th birthday book. he shared annie's sweet note, "I remember the time I first met you. I didn't know you at all but then you became my friend, played UNO with us and all the sudden we started laughing because we were having so fun. I just wanted you to remember that." he shared a portion of my letter: "after a long chat, I would get off the phone and realize you had made the entire conversation about me and my life." and he shared many other sweet things about her. she "collected experiences." i know she loved having her nephews and nieces on the program-playing the organ, leading the music, piano solo and singing. she truly adored those kids. 

i was able to visit a little bit with mindy, mark, matthew and michael after the funeral. her parents too. i saw jaenette and hugged her. she's been such a great friend to michelle and took such good care of her when she was so sick. i first met jaenette at michael's play last summer..that's when she was starting to feel sick but didn't know what was going on. i feel bonded to jaenette as we both so loved michelle.

we listened to a song called "gentle" on the way home from the funeral and i had a good cry. it was such a coincidence as greg shared in his talk, an experience heidi potts had submitted for her 50th book. this was her email she sent to me to contribute. 

"I remember one day in particular walking into her classroom a little earlier than most of the other students. She was playing music on her CD player and the song that was playing touched my heart that day. It was called "Gentle." Maybe I was feeling overwhelmed or of little worth, but the song spoke to me in that moment. I asked Sister DuBois who was singing it and what the song was called, so I could maybe go find it. She said if I liked it, I could have it. She took the CD out and gave it to me right there - and wouldn't take no for an answer! It was such a sweet, Christlike, shirt-off-her-back gesture and it really touched my heart."

kelly was making lunch for us when we got back. i shared a few things from the funeral and we had a good talk. i love kelly so much.

we loaded our things and spent a few minutes down at the river not far from their house. i wanted the girls to be able to have some fun outside time before we were back in the car again.

matty pulled off in willard just south of brigham city, so we could find the cemetery and see where she was buried earlier that day. we were the only ones there and got there just as the sun was setting. it is right along the mountainside and in a beautiful spot. lucy shared a piece of her gum with michelle and we took a few daisies from her graveside. we sang "i am a child of God" and said our goodbyes. 

i'm writing this several months after it all happened..it's fall time now and she and i loved the autumn time. i wish we could hike together and enjoy the crisp air and gorgeous leaves changing colors. i am sad i can no longer send her a text or talk with her on the phone. but i am grateful to know this life is not the end and that she is free from her body that was so sick.

i'm so glad we could go, i'm so glad for my sweet husband who knew how important it was for me to be there and drove me and the kids to idaho so we could celebrate her life.

24-25 july 2016

(written 17 september 2016)

memorial day in richfield 2016

it works out really well to stop in richfield on our way home from the ranch on memorial day.
mom and dad came down for the day so we met at wingers for lunch then walked around the cemetery and visited.

grandma scott passed away 29 years ago. mom was 34 when she lost her mother to cancer.

i was 7. i do have fond memories of her, even though i was young. 

she was sweet and loving and kind and always had fudge stripe cookies in her cookie jar.

i learned years later what a brave and strong woman she really was.

on the way to visit her grave today, annie held her grandma's hand and innocently asked,

"do you miss your mom?" it was a moment.

memorial day

30 may 2016

ladies trip 2016

matt saved my bacon and worked from home on thursday so i could leave town by noon. he was already planning to take friday off to be with the kids. lucy's dance photos threw a little wrench in the day. but matt didn't complain at all, even after waking up thursday with a head cold.

by 1:00 everyone was loaded and we were on our way! we stopped for lunch at zuppas in lehi. we zipped to st george with just one pit stop.

we went straight to urban renewal, our favorite little thrifted shop in town. i found several treasures. yay! we went to benja's for dinner for the tom ka kai soup and rice. we did better with our quantities this time.

lindsay had her pregnant tummy set on the bear paw for breakfast the next morning. it's always super yummy. i had the pecan french toast. there was no scrimping on the pecans! mom's hot cocoa was delish.

we walked our little legs off on the river walk trail before we loaded up, picked up jules and set for vegas!

mark and jan's house was beautiful and they were so hospitable. baby grant is such a doll. he was such a good sport to be dragged everywhere and hardly ever made a peep. we sat and visited before we had to get all dolled up for celine's show! we had pizza at bc's brewery. we were lucky we got in quick as we were cutting it close to make it down to the strip. we made it just in time! after parking and hustling to the theatre...we sat in our seats with one minute to spare. phew!

the show was incredible. it really was. she is an amazing performer. she brought us all to tears. that woman can sing! i thought she might literally blow the top of the colosseum right off! her costumes were stunning, as were her legs! we were so happy that julie was able to move to a seat right next to us. that made it all the better. the show went by crazy fast. before we knew it-it was over. we took a bunch of photos in the lobby to document our experience.

i remember watching a special on tv about celine dion a million years ago with lin. we've loved her ever since. we've talked about going to her show for years now. i'm so glad we made it happen. we paid $113 for our tickets and it was totally worth it.

vegas was crazy. of course. it's seriously such a wicked special place. we walked over to serendipity to try the frozen hot chocolate, just in case i never make it to new york. very chocolatey and good. we walked down to the bellagio fountains and just walking down one casino we saw enough! we might not have been the best dressed (although we totally looked cute), we were definitely the most dressed!

we got back to the severts house late but jan and mom were up to hear about our night. (mom was a peach and stayed back to watch baby grant and hang with her sister. she saw celine's show several years ago). we slept in (as much as moms sleep in) the next morning. jan made us a delicious breakfast then we laid around by the pool. it's a rough life on vacation!

we packed up and hit the road. back to st geroge. we had tj maxx shopping to do! i drove the whole trip, but didn't mind as long as i had a good navigator to talk to. lin and julie shared their courting and love stories on the drive back to SG.

we said goodbye to jules and swung by the 'swig' to give us the sugar rush we needed to power through tj's. i found lots of fun stuff...for me! we push our purses around in a cart so we can have two free hands. we gather loads of stuff and add carts as needed. then at the end we go through and separate who's getting what.

can't wait to show up to pickleball in this getup. it might be a tad low cut.

we didn't have dinner until 10 pm that night. but pancho and leftys waited up for us. we ate like 7 bowls of chips and salsa before our taquito meals came.

lin and i made a late night run to yogurtland...because we could. we laughed and laughed about random things because it was past our bedtime.

it's always great to stay at bev's. she's such a sweetheart and we love her.

i grabbed bagels sunday morning for our breakfast. lin and i hit the pool for a few and mom went to visit nancy little. ali tried to get baby grant to nap. he was an angel the whole trip but was ready for his own bed and schedule by that time. we hit the gap outlet and 'the habit' for lunch before we gassed up and hit the road for home.

we picked up a journal from tj's to record our ladies trips in. we went back in time and tried to remember when we started this tradition and jotted down memories of our past trips.

it's always fun to go. we had a great time. the girls and matt did great while i was away. matt and annie ran the "girls on the run" 5k...in the pouring rain on saturday morning! grandpa helped with the littles. everyone was happy to see me. annie kept saying how much she missed me while i was gone. it's nice to be missed.