Take Your Crazy And Shove Off

I don't know about you but I am sick and tired of these crazy fucking bastard Republican candidates.
I don't hear a Goddamn thing come out of their mouths except wedge issues and outright insanity.

Womens birth control,anti immigration, Big Government, Tax breaks for the already obscenely rich, anti union, on and on and on.

What I am NOT hearing is just what the fuck they plan to do about putting millions of people back to work at a decent wage with decent benefits, what the fuck their foreign policies are, what the fuck they plan on doing about getting our troops home and just exactly how they plan on putting THOSE people to work or how they plan to take care of the thousands of our veterans with war trauma the rest of their lives.

I also don't see any forethought on what to do about the crooked banking industry or the crooked mortgage industry, the war on drugs, the rotting infrastructure of our country , climate change,the money losing Post office or basically any real pressing issue facing this country.
Nope, it's all about vaginas and dragging everyone back to the eleventh fucking century.
They want anyone who isn't already obscenely rich to serve as vassals to those who are and bow down to their vision of Almighty God, which by the way, isn't quite exactly on par with the teachings of a certain guy named Jesus that I had drilled into me at a tender age.
These clowns are more Old Testament the way I see it and even then, twist the message sideways.

The current crop of Republican candidates are so far out of touch with the average American as to be laughable and the blatant pandering I have seen is indeed comical to the point of parody.

I wouldn't vote for any one of these people to be in charge of putting scotch tape in the dispenser.

Get your fucking religion out of the business of this country, get your head out of your asses and out of the ladies reproductive parts and educate yourselves on actually governing in a sane manner or get the fuck off the stage forever.

Preferably the latter.

Fucknoids.

Stay Outta Kickin' Distance If Ya Know What's Good For Ya.

It's been two fucking days since I had a cigarette and two fucking days since I had any alchohol.

Get just a little closer, I dare ya....

Christ I had forgotten how bad it was to quit smoking.

Drinkin' ain't that bad but the smokes,

Redrum...

I laid around yesterday going through withdrawals, looking at that pack of smokes sitting on the night stand.

I swear I never looked at Farah Fawcett with such longing, I would have kicked Cindy Crawford out of bed and onto her ass if she had blocked my view.

Today, of course, is worse yet.

I was working on a buddies truck and I always had a butt hanging out of my mouth when I was wrenching on my own time, AND a cold beer within reach.

I have been wanting to quit for a while but between the cheapest smokes and the cheapest beer I could find it was 13 bucks for one six pack and a pack of nasty tasting smokes so I bit the bullet.

All I can tell you is a mother moose with PMS would come out limping right now.
I have zero sense of humor.

Temporary Reprieve Update;

The Wife called me worried that I was suffering unduly and told me to go have a smoke, so I did.
It's amazing how the sky went from blood red to sunny so fast.

Be warned, I give it an hour and I am going to be like this again;



H/T to Carolyn in comments.

Stand Back, I'm Gonna Blow

Before I get incoherent, because I am, I just want you to know I voted yesterday.
I wasn't going to, one of my brothers, you know him as BustedsBro, called and ragged on me about it.
This could get lengthy.

I had just got back into town after a week and a half at my girl friends place. I had a good time.
He calls, rags on me while am having a cold one after driving for an hour and a half with the sun in my eyes and was relaxing.
He starts in.
"Did you vote?".
Uhmm, not yet, I just got back in town, etc, etc. I will spare you the rest.

So,
I come home to the Weasel den and let the cat out, it bitched at me just like I knew it would and took off. The fucking cat is fine, I had a neighbor take care of it while I was gone.

Back to my point here.
I grabbed the ballot and went back down town, I cruised by City Hall to make sure that was where to drop it off, it was too late to mail it in.
So I order another cold one and am filling the fucker out, both sides, mind you.
I did what I thought was the right thing and then I get to all of these people running unopposed who I had looked into earlier and sad, Oh, Fuck No., so I voted for myself, many, many, times.
You know, that write in thing.

Fuck you, I voted, get over it.

Then I flip the damn thing over and start perusing the initiatives, this is where it gets ugly, hide the women and childrens.

Two of these are about wresting control of the likker stores in this state. Let me stop now, so I can suck down some expensive suds for a second and catch my breath.

The likker stores in this state are run by the state. Period.

We just went through hell making the fucking bastards open up on Sunday. They countered with only some stores.
Fuck, You, I sez. Three bucks a fifth in taxes here compared to across a fucking bridge.

This is the only fucking state I have ever been in that doesn't sell cigarettes or even mixers like Coke.
Nope, gotta go down to the nearest convenience store for that shit.

So the vote was to get the state out of the bizznis and let private people take over. All fer that I says.
Fucking idiots.

But that isn't really what pissed me off, this did.

I had forgotten about it but some cock sucking genius came up with a tax on little kids last year, and it passed.

You read that right, a tax on little kids.
A special tax on Candy and Soda Pop.

Ya see, this state has no income tax, something else that was on the ballot today.
It has a sales tax, which to this day, after twenty fucking years in this state, I haven't figured out. They don't tax some food stuff but others they do, I dunno but it is a fucked up mess. To make it worse, it isn't just a state wide sales tax, it varies from city to city!!
Anyway, back to the little kid tax on candy and pop, just who the FUCK do you think is paying that tax?

I don't know about you but this ain't fucking China, where little kids go to work every day for rice money.
No, that special tax comes right out of Mommy and Daddy's ass pocket. One more sneaky fucking hidden tax some dirty mother fucking son of a two bit whore came up with.

Ya know, Bill Gates lives in this state.
 His net worth is over seven times the operating budget of this entire mother fucking state, but no, you can't tax the rich guy, you gotta take it outta the ass pocket of the working class guy, with a special tax on the kiddies.
Booze, check.

Smokes, double check, they are twice as expensive as they are across the river, I am not kidding and it is all taxes.
Want to get some gas?
 Get yer narrow ass out of the car and pump it your self, at five cents more a gallon than it is across the river, where some nice guy will do it for you while he is out in the pouring rain.

The best part?
They had to go through the political process  and get enough signatures to put on a ballot, to repeal the kiddy tax..
That's right, I got to vote to repeal the kiddy tax .

It makes me want to scream.

People wonder why I quit fucking with politics.

It's completely FUBAR.

Our political system is broken beyond repair when I have to vote on something like that and assholes on Wall Street get Multi Million dollar bonuses that we paid for after they broke themselves playing fuckity fuck gambling on shit they made up that no one to this day can explain what exactly what the fuck it was and where in the fuck all the money went.

I voted today.
Cock suckers.
 I NOW HAVE A LICENSE TO BITCH WITH EXTRA SPECIAL PRIVILIGES.

And I aim to do just that..

Teasing The Wimmins

God, I am surrounded by crazy little wimmins.
My Girlfriends little sixteen year old ' Christian"niece
is all squeeling like a stuck pig about some little future dirt bag named Garrison Duckworth.

I told her to watch out about his little cuteness and to turn it down with the squeeling.
Eventually the boy is going to try and reach in her shirt. I don't give a shit how nice he is supposed to be, it will come.
"Oh he doesn't even even cuss in front of me and his parents LOVE me!"

I have news for you ya little darlin';



Now make him a sammich.

My  ya can't tell these little shit's nuthing.
" But he loves me!!"

Suuure.

God damn, they are irritating little shits.

Bonus round, she has a little asshole twin bother, heavy on the asshole part.

There will be beatings handed out here shortly.

It Never Stops

Sitting here in a near coma, just relaxing for a bit and the fucking door bell rings.
Huh? Wha'?
Get up, everyone else is taking a nap too, go to the door just in time to see some guy go around the corner so I chased him down to see what the fuck he wanted.
Out comes the pamphlet for some fucktard republican running to replace that notorious Blue Dog cocksucker Brian Baird, who is getting out while the getting is good.
The guy goes into his schpiel, I take one look at who it is and say thanks, g'bye.
Fuck me, it's that season again.

I need to find an old mauser and set it right next to the door.
Takes care of Latter Day Saints, Girl Scouts, Magazine salesmen and political whores equally.
Just grab the barrel and lean it towards ya enough for them to get a glance of.
Works every fucking time.
Get off my fucking lawn.