Oh, Carey

(apologies to Steve Perry)

You shouldn't have posted

Knowing how Montrealers feel

And you should've known

Dec. 6 and what it means

Oh, I must've been a dreamer

And I thought you were someone else

'Course you're livin' in a bubble!

Oh, Carey, regarding guns

Hold on, hold your fire

Oh, Carey, "poly" means

Lionizing Lepine

Oh I want to let go

You'll go on hurting this city

You'd be better off alone

If you can't see the misogyny

But you know that there're clauses

Oh, that you can still own guns for hunting game

Can't you feel we're hurting?

On and on

Oh, Carey, regarding guns

Hold on! Hold your fire!

Oh, Carey, the CCFR?!

WTF?! They're using you!

But I should've seen this one

Long ago, far away

And you should've been resting

We hear you've got

Such gimpy knees

Oh, Carey, regarding guns,

Hold fire, on this day

Oh, Carey, get some PR

That was tone deaf

Amazing CHé

Amazing CHé
How sweet the sound
Of Habs fans leaving their seats

In the K, he was lost
But with the CH, was found
We give praise to Bergevin

'Twas Captain K that taught
The PP to click
Leko and BBQ, my fears relieved
How precious did that CHé appear
The OT I first believed

Through many Rangers, and Arrogant Fuckface
Our boys have already come
'Tis TFS that brought us play-offs thus far
And CJv2 will lead us CHome

Lord Stanley has promised a Cup to the team
That 16 playoff wins secures
It will the CH goal and passion be
As long as the game endures

When we've been there in 24 other years
Parades shining in the June sun
We've measured days left to ride TFS's saves
Boys, now, let's get it done

Amazing Shea
How sweet the sound
Of Rags getting soundly checked
For PFK, we had love
But now, BBQ and CHé
And the return of SuperPleXXX

If Y(emelin) Should Fall From Grace with Claude (apologies to the Pogues)

If Y Should Fall from Grace with Claude
After being cleanly beaten
If Y’s muscled off the puck
And his passes fail completely

Let him sit Claude, let him sit Claude
Let Y sit up with the press where the hotdogs come with fries

This Cup was always ours 
Was the pride of Montrealers
It belongs to the Habs
Not to any of Buttman’s fuckers
It’s coming back here boys, coming back here boys!
Dump the Buttman in the south where the hockey fans run dry

Keep GCHuck at C
Let those Forum ghosts direct him
If he shoots from open ice
KidA or LB will deflect them
Into the goal boys, into the goal boys!
Win this town a twenty-fifth Cup
Where the Frenchmen used to fly

If Y Should Fall from Grace with Claude
After being cleanly beaten
Harley’s raring to go
And he passes pretty cleanly

Let him sit Claude, let him sit Claude
Let Y sit up with the press where the hotdogs come with fries


POGUE MAHONE!!!

GYFHG

Winter's Coming (apologies to Arcade Fire and their Neighbourhoods #1 (Tunnels)

And if the snow buries my CH neighbourhood
And if Che is flying
Then he'll saucer a pass
From his stick blade to PatCHes
Yeah, a pass, from his stick blade to PatCHes

KidA has climbed out of the cellar
And skated up the middle
The middle of the ice
And since there's no one but the goalie around
He'll stay in the blue paint long
And forget how how he used to blow
And then his skin gets thicker
From spraying that goalie with snow

You changed all the lead
In that rebuilt hand
As the puck comes in
KidA shovels it right in

Then Julien tried to fix our PK
Cuz Price had forgotten the way to
The way to shut teams down
But somehow, TFS remembered his goalposts
And how to cover his five-hole
And his catlike trapper hand
Then, the D remembered how to skate strong
And how to cover the man

MB changed all the smurfs
Getting knocked around
As the trades came in

King and Thor came thundering

Purify the CHolours, beef up the 4th line
Purify the CHolours, put scorers in the top two lines
And spread the ashes of Arrogant Fuckface
Over this CHeart of mine!

GOHABSGO

- 30 -

Stand Down Therrien (apologies to the English Beat)

I said I see no goals

I see only losses

I see no chance of a play-off tomorrow

So stand down eMTy

Stand down please

Stand down Therrien

I say stand down eMTy

Stand down please

Stand Therrien

You tell me how can it work

With this “process” of yours

All these chip-ins aren’t working,

We want a third goal scored

Stand down eMTy

Stand down please

Stand down Therrien

I sometimes wonder

If I'll ever get to say

Come with me my children

To the Stanley Cup parade

Our hopes seem desperate in your dump and chase plans

Would you give a second thought

Would you ever change the process, I doubt it

Stand down eMTy

Score!

Everybody shout it

Stand down eMTy!

DDD, cut his power play time

More gCHuck at Centre

We score

Score, score, score, score, score

Score, score, score, score, score

Score, score, score, score, score

Score, score, score, score, score

Score, score, score, score, score

Stand down please

Stand down EMTy

Stand down please

Stand down Therrien

I say stand down EMTy

Stand down please

Stand down Therrien

Stand down EMTy

Stand down please

Stand down Therrien

Ignatieff: I hear a statesman

This piece by Jane Taber of the Globe and Mail harangues Michael Ignatieff for his lack of specifics, but I think he sounds pretty reasonable here:

There was no mention of the hydro mega-project in the Liberal platform, released Sunday. But when asked about it Monday, Mr. Ignatieff spoke about involving Quebec – and maybe even Ontario – in a “pan-Canadian approach” to inter-provincial energy sharing.

“It’s not just a matter of Newfoundland and Labrador,” he said.

He argued that a Liberal government would not play off one province against another, suggesting that is what Mr. Harper is doing.

A federal government, he said, needs to “sit down with the province of Newfoundland and Labrador and the province of Quebec. ... Let’s think about this medium and long-term.”

He added: “But for heavens sake if we don’t sit in a room pretty soon we are going to be suboptimal as a country when we could be a superpower.”

The Liberal Leader suggested finding a way to “wheel this power through Quebec” and said that Canadians have to start “thinking big” on energy or risk having highly segmented markets that don’t speak to one another.

Contrast this approach to that of Harper, who has riled Québec premier Jean Charest by supporting federal bucks to develop the means to both harnass and transport reams of viable, renewable electricity to presumed New England markets via the maritime provinces - all to curry favour with the new premier of Newfoundland and Labrador in the hopes of taking a couple of parliamentary seats from that province. Never mind the ill will such a move might provoke in other jurisdictions.

It puzzles me that, despite this regional favouritism, Harper still refuses to cough up the dough his most prominent Québec ministers all but promised a few short months ago, to build a new NHL-ready arena for Québec City, on the grounds it would be unfair to other major cities in other provinces who are in the same situation.

I mean, what's a Québecois voter to think, anyway? Gilles Duceppe will gladly provide the answer. Ignatieff, too, except (poor bastard) he's gotta please somebody in 10 different provinces. Not just one.

Hence the statesmanship of his comments today.

And hence this blogger's newfound respect for the man. He is fighting the good fight, and it's possibly Canada's last best hope for a united future.

Moi, je m'occupe d'lui aider dès ce moment-là.

- 30 -

Hosni Mubarak, and the world that matters not to him

With time on my hands, I spent the afternoon flipping between Aljazeera English, CNN, CBC Newsworld and CTV Newsnet in between loads of laundry.

At around 4 pm EST, I watched live footage of a pro-Mubarak bus being driven backwards 50 metres or so into a thick throng of helpless non-violent anti-Mubarak demonstrators, all filmed by the CBC from a hotel balcony a few hundred metres away.

The bus rocked up and down, corner to corner as it rolled over the people. I would guess 20 or 30 casualties from that alone. The Egyptian army is standing down. This is a bloody mess:

6:41pm A former general in the Egyptian intelligence services tells Al Jazeera, "I expect the army will act to remove Mubarak from power ... Mubarak is ready to burn the country".
6:37pm Cairo resident tells Al Jazeera that he witnessed police officers trying to bribe porters and security guards in his apartment building. They we...re asked to go and beat up anti-government protesters in Tahrir Square.

Lisa Laflamme sounded scared. A Radio-Canada cameraman got pummelled by the pro-Mubarak thugs. Anderson Cooper and his CNN team, plus Aljazeera English reporters beaten and forced to report from afar. And yet, I was able to tune it out for a couple of hours and get excited at the Habs beating the Panthers. Life in the 21st Century.

- 30 -

No Free Content for CanWest - Kudos to you J.T.

There is power in a factory
Power in the land
Power in the hands of the worker
But it all amounts to nothing
If together we don't stand
There is power in a union
--Billy Bragg

Being a life-long Quebecker and Habs fan, I have been an avid reader of the Gazette's Habs Inside/Out blog site since its inception a few years ago. They built an excellent and successful online community very quickly by providing informed round-the-clock reporting, together with an open forum for commentary. This was of course all leveraged off the parent newspaper's existing sports reporting infrastructure and access to the club.

Long-time Gazette columnist (and prolific HI/O blogger) Mike Boone was rightly proud of their achievements recently:

Speaking of how hard-working and indispensable we are, Google Analytics calculates Habs Inside/Out had 2,383,333 page views in February – up from 1,180,013 in February, 2008.

That's a 102 per cent increase.

And comScore MediaMetrix credits Habs Inside/Out with 92,000 unique visitors in January – up from 40,000 a year ago. That's a 130 per cent jump.

Are we great or what

Yeah Mike, that's great. But evidently not great enough to actually pay some of the people you've tapped to provide content. One of the regular posters on the site's Other Wing page - one of the people whose content has helped draw up those hit counts - has decided to take a stand on behalf of her profession, and stop providing that content free of charge:

I write here as an unpaid volunteer, and I've been having some serious second thoughts about what that means for others. I've noticed the increase in ads supported by the site, and earlier this week Mike Boone posted stats on the number of site visits, which are up more than a hundred percent over last year. In short, the Gazette makes money from HI/O. So, in an age when my professional colleagues in the newspaper business are struggling to keep their jobs and keep their papers viable, a site like Inside/Out could be an important source of work for them. Therefore, I believe it's wrong for me to undermine the work they depend upon for their livelihoods by providing content for nothing.

Mainly for that reason, I am withdrawing from The Other Wing.

Good for you, J.T. As I wrote in the comments on her final post, there is a difference between providing comments and being a featured (published) poster. As the latter, there is a greater benefit to the publisher, and it competes in the same space as paid professionals. Add to that, J.T. has an established career in media as a CBC radio broadcaster in Newfoundland. Content from a pro like herself has added value based on her training, abilities and experience.

For J.T. to be expected to provide free content is no different from expecting a plumber to fix your pipes for nothing more than positive word of mouth - no matter how much they may enjoy their work.

If you want to send J.T. some love, she has a thoughtful site where she writes on her own terms: The H does NOT stand for Habs.

J.T.: This out-of-work writer salutes you!



- 30 -

Nothing but dumb hope left for us Habs fans

Might as well hope for an Asexuals reunion while we're at it. (Hats off to DomPompeo). Exile From Floontown was an LP - that's right; an LP - that was spinning just about constantly on my turntable - yeah, that's right; TURNTABLE, okay? Some of us are in our late 30s here, see? - during that magical '93 Cup win.

And we all know the Flyers are a no-class organization. Who wants to see an "all Pennsylvania" match-up for the Eastern final anyway? Ugh.

GOHABSGO

Spring anyone?

Big storm still happening here. Definitely the biggest blizzard in what has to be called the toughest winter in living memory. I opened my front door this morning to find six inches of snow up against it, and level with my front walk (which is down three steps from the porch). That's a first.

Up and down my street none of the cars are distinguishable from one another except possibly by their side-view mirrors; they are merely igloo-sized white blobs. The sidewalk plowers evidently gave up on our street some time yesterday evening - they wouldn't be able to get through right now if they wanted to, because the banks on either side are too bulked-up with heavy dense snow. There is a narrow amount of passable street, but it certainly is not a good day for a drive.

CBC radio news is reporting:
- several highway closures and tens of thousands in the Quebec City region without power;
- the Societe de Transport de Montreal (STM) left the Metro stations open all night (without the trains running, however), just for shelter. They had numerous bus routes unable to run, what with four of their seven bus garages unable to open this morning, and lots of drivers and mechanics unable to get in to work (no kidding), meaning public transport is barely functioning.
- not much activity at any airports in the Northeast.

CTV says 40 cm fell on Montreal, which sounds about right.

And there is still some snow falling - or at least I think so, because the wind hasn't died down much.

But the Habs are #1 with a two-point cushion over the Sens, both our goalies are hot, and our balanced offensive attack has racked up more goals than all but one other team in the NHL, so it's a good day nonetheless!

Be strong, fellow Montrealers. This isn't Narnia; this can't go on forever, and the NHL playoffs should be fun this year!

- 30 -

U.S. Senate matches Oilers' $50M offer for Bin Laden

The United States Senate voted to match the Edmonton Oilers' $50 million offer on Restricted Free Agent Osama bin Laden last week, thus thwarting Oilers GM Kevin Lowe from acquiring the highly sought-after veteran.

"Bin Laden is simply too important for us to let him go, no matter the cost," said the Senator who co-authored the measure.

In a hasitly-called press conference in Edmonton, Lowe was visibly distraught.

"We are sorry to miss out on him," Lowe said. "Scouting reports noted his toughness, and the inability of other teams to knock him off the puck. As a player, he has shown great tenacity and a truly explosive offensive capability."

Several commentators expressed unease over the implications this may have on the bounties put on other terrorists' heads.

"If the NHL allows its General Managers to continue down this reckless path in pursuing free agents, there's no telling what ceiling to expect in this post 9-11, post lock-out market," blasted the Hockey Snooze in an online editorial.

Others were openly questioning Lowe's sanity.

"We knew Lowe was desperate to add offense, but I don't even know if this guy can skate, and his health is certainly questionable," mused one hockey blogger. "Playing high-stakes chicken with the Buffalo Sabres is one thing, but first he threw away $27 Million at one defenseman with questionable health and skating ability, and now he offers $50 million for another? Going up against the U.S. Senate? It's time someone told Kevin there is good psychiatric help available."

- 30 -

So long Theo, and good luck

Surprising news: the Habs traded Jose Theodore. It's a good move on Bob Gainey's part and I just can't believe they were able to spring David Aebischer from Colorado for a guy who's totally lost his game, has a broken heel that won't give him any time to find his game before the playoffs, and will cost them somthing like $11 million over the next two years of his contract. That's a gamble and a half on Colorado GM Pierre Lacroix's part if you ask me.

As for les glorieux, they recoup a whack of salary room under the cap, so look for the other shoe to drop tomorrow. If I were Bob I'd pick up Turner Stevenson off waivers and move Mike Ribeiro to Pittsburgh for Mark Recchi (I always want the good 'ol boys back home).

And as for Theo, let me just say that even les Cowboys Fringants have given up on him, taking time out from their set to dis Theo, and getting a round of rousing cheers down at the Spectrum earlier this year. He has had a hot and cold career here, culminating in a perfectly dismal season this year before breaking his heel in a home mishap. And the baggage factor was getting overwhelming. The first kink in his armor came when local newspapers splashed photos of Theo partying with local criminal biker gang a couple of years ago. He failed a drug test this year for a substance known to mask a certain steroid (although his doctor vouched that it was being taken for hair-loss prevention), and for all his hype and salary, he never could prove himself in the playoffs beyond the first round.

As Pierre Lacroix is tragically bound to find out, Jose Theodore is no Patrick Roy and is showing no signs that he ever will be. I think les Canadiens will be just fine without him, and are a better team with the Aebischer / Cristobal Huet tandem in nets.

- 30 -

Canadian Women's Hockey Team Rocks

You gotta' love it. After the high-priced over-hyped men's team couldn't even get on the scoreboard for two whole games, the women picked up the torch (again) to show us what real dedication looks like. This team has talent, class and embodies everything good about team sport.

Big time congratulations to the Canadian Women's Hockey Team. And a shout out to the Swedes too, for proving they can play with the big girls. In fact, kudos to all women out there showing the men how it's done. Call me a dreamer, but I think sometime within the next 20 years, women will be commonplace on dozens of NHL teams.

I don't even care what the Canadian men's team does anymore. Even if they win the gold, it won't compare with this team's achievement. That's hockey.

- 30 -

Carbo back with Habs!

Note: Dear Readers,
This blog is being temporarily interrupted to talk about the latest chapter in the most storied franchise in all of sport. This is only a temporary interruption, and there is no need to adjust your URL. We at Tattered Sleeve thank you for your understanding

And there was indeed great rejoicing.

So that's the end of Claude Julien's career as coach of the Canadiens. GM Bob Gainey made the only sensible move on a team that simply wasn't responding to their coach any longer. Gainey will be behind the bench himself for tonight's game against the Sharks, with Guy Carbonneau back in the Habs' fold as Assistant Coach, replacing Rick Green.

Gainey still has lots of support in the office, what with Andre Savard, his very capable assistant, looking after the daily minutiae of running the club, but La Presse is suggesting he won't be in the coach's chair very long before turning it over to Carbo (who just happens to be the last Habs captain to bring home a Cup). I mean, who can forget Carbo vs. Gretzky in the Cup run of '93?

In the '93 Final, the Habs faced Wayne Gretzky and the Los Angeles Kings, and in game one the "Great One" had a goal and two assists and the Kings won 4-1. Carbo approached coach Jacques Demers and requested he be allowed to shadow number 99 the rest of the way. Montreal won the next four games.

So mark Carbo's return as an interesting (and welcome) development, as it had appeared up to now that Doug Jarvis (currently staying on as an Assistant Coach) was being groomed for this. Carbo had been an assistant Habs coach for two seasons when Gainey (then the Dallas Stars' GM) plucked him out to bring him back to Dallas.

One thing about the Gainey/Carbo/Jarvis trio: they are three of the sharpest hockey minds in the game today, and all were known for having a terrific work ethic - with several Stanley Cups under their belts - throughout their illustrious playing careers. If anyone can inspire the current team with all its talent to shape up, work hard and follow the coach's game plan, it's these guys.

I liked Julien a lot, despite his habit of putting too many men out on the ice so often it made me question his ability to handle pressure. But the team's been in a tailspin worse than Martin's Liberals. This move had to be done, and bringing the much-respected Carbonneau back will really boost their chances of making a run at the Cup this year.

Oh and, Mr. Gainey? I know you're probably busy preparing for tonight's game right now and all, but I was just thinking how you will soon need a new assistant coach for the defence corps... and how a big guy like Mike Komisarek - who hasn't really learned how to use his size effectively yet - could benefit from someone who may have a good idea of how to help him out in that regard. Was I daydreaming or did a not-so-little bird just tell me there's just the right ex-teammate of yours out there, and he's available right now?

This is where the Habs season turns around. Sadly, politics doesn't usually work quite like hockey, even in Canada. Well, we'll take what good news we can get, eh?

We now bring you back to your irregularly scheduled blogging.

- 30 -

Duceppe scores on own net

Kevin Lowe, assistant manager of Canada's 2006 men's Olympic team, doesn't think much of Gilles Duceppe's idea of entering a separate Quebec team in international hockey competition — and he has company in the hockey world.

Lowe, who grew up in Montreal and is fluently bilingual, flatly rejected the Bloc Québécois leader's proposal, which was unveiled Wednesday as part of his party's election platform.

Sure, he's still got a big 8 to 2 lead with only 5 minutes gone in the first period. But it can't be good for your cause when some of your voters' biggest heros are unanimously saying your idea is stupid, and then they go on to wax patriotic about their country - Canada; not Quebec.

Of course they're going to react this way, given they all hope to play in the Olympics, and that means recognizing that the only way that can happen is if they chose to live in the real world, as opposed to some Quebec nationalist fairyland, where all the taxes ruthlessly vaccuumed-up by the Canadian government will become a glorious windfall of extra cash in our pockets after separation. Yadda yadda yadda.

Big gaffe for Duceppe. Makes you wonder if he feels his lead is so huge he can afford to coast through the remainder of the game. Ask any hockey player and they'll tell you you don't win that way. We can only hope...

- 30 -

Al Goulem is the funniest man on Canadian TV

Do you need any other reason to check out The Tournament 2 tonight?

What? No, I am not his publicist! But we went to the same high school and I used to watch him play in the Sons of the Desert in the days of yore - you know it's yore because I could find nothing worthwhile to link to to explain who the Sons really were. Suffice it to say, they carved the path for bands like Me, Mom & Morgentaler, and of course The Planet Smashers.

But besides all that, it's not hype. If it's anything at all like the first Tournament mockumentary mini-series, we're in for a treat. I hadn't laughed harder watching Canadian TV since SCTV. Tune in and laugh.

- 30 -