The Cross is Boss: Marois 1, Frontwoodsers 0

As a proud fifth-generation anglo Québecker de souche, properly baptised by the Plymouth Trinity United Church of Sherbrooke, I must take a moment here to salute Parti-Québecois leader Pauline Marois for her bold statement pledging to keep my belle province the rightful Backwoods capital of North America.

Because here in Quebec, backwoods is where it's at. And to underline that, Marois spent time on the campaign trail today defending her party's proposal to secularize the province's civil servants' appearance, lest it offend the non-believers of whatever faith is projected by the bearer's attire (sacred or not).

Unless, of course, the bearer's faith happens to be Christianity (the "good", or at least, "officially-sanctioned" faith, apparently).

Bravo, I say. I mean, I don't know about you, but when I go down to the S.A.A.Q. to renew my driver's license, the last thing I want to see is a fully-bilingual, smiling civil servant wearing a Scottish kilt. I don't want to think about what's behind that Sporran, thank you very much. There is nothing Catholic about the Scots, after all.

And it's not just them, but those snooty Saudi-Arabian immigrant women - you know, the ones who aren't even allowed to drive in their country of origin - but when they come here to pursue a better life pursuant to the United Nations declaration of Universal Human Rights, think they can go on following their Muslim faith and shit anyway. I mean, come on!

And I suppose there are other creeds with their ceremonial daggers and headscarves and other horrifyingly provocative faith-based attire. I just shudder to think. I mean, where did these Muslim people get the idea to have their women-folk cover up their hair with cloth anyway?

It's just so ...barbaric. I mean, really, how dare these carefully selected immigrants wear their headscarves and whatnot once they arrive here, just like they did their whole lives in their some-such places of origin? Why can't they understand they can never become a true Québecois until they completely lay themselves down and take the holy ghost up the wazoo like the rest of us all did from the time ol' Samuel de Champlain put his two fingers together in 1609 and whistled across the pond for La Vieille France to fork over a few hundred God-fearing Filles du Roi (yowza!).

Now that, my friends, was an inspired immigration policy. See, this is why it's so important to wrest that from Ottawa. Oh, wait, I suppose that's already happened. Shhh! Don't tell them that until AFTER the election.

(ahem)

Seriously, any Péquiste with the slightest bit of self-respect - or respect for their visionary founder, Rene Levesque, and his strong sense of democracy - should be voting for either Solidarité Québec, or Option Québec. The PQ has gone so Backwoods, the only sound their pollsters will hear is the distinctive August buzz of mosquitoes and blackflies.

Im'grints Taking our PENSIONS dagnabbit !

I got an email [origin: vancouver craigslist?] forwarded from a family member who hoped I would become incensed over Bill C-428:

Subject: URGENT ATTENTION About Our OAS pensions Bill C-428 An Act to Amend the Old Age Security Act ( residency requirements) This bill had first reading in the house on June 18, 2009.

When I saw the video on U tube, I heard that it was seconded by Bob Rae. MP Ms Dhalla who introduced the bill represents the riding of Brampton whose population is mainly east Indian. Right now you have to have lived in Canada for 10 years in order to qualify for Old Age Security. She wants the time reduced to 3 years. So you could come here when you are 62 years old, never work or contribute to this county’s tax system etc and qualify for full Old Age Security benefits. Can you believe this. 10 years is a stretch!!

I certainly hope this bill does not get passed and I am thinking it is about time we call our elected MP’s as well as the NDP and Liberal candidates and ask them if they support this bill. This may be one factor to help us determine who get elected in the next election.

I hope this bill doesn't get passed!!!!!!

What Can You Do?

1. Spread the message to family and friends
2. write letters, send emails or call Members of Parliament
If you don't agree, I apologize for wasting your time

Bill C-428, An Act to Amend the Old Age Security Act.( residency requirements ) It is time Canada looked after it's own citizens before splashing OUR money around on people who have no right to this money, never having contributed to it. If a family wishes to bring elderly relatives here and wish to waive their own right to collect these resources in order that the elderly relatives can - fine, otherwise, look after them yourself and do not expect the Canadian people to do it. There are too many people abusing the generosity of the Canadian people, it needs to stop ... NOW!

Here is my reply:

Sorry, I can't muster the outrage, and here's why:

Let's say you escaped war-torn Congo or Somalia or North Korea or Gaza - where you have likely slaved away in harsh conditions your whole life with nothing to show for it but your new-found freedom as a refugee here in Canada - a land of peace and relative prosperity. What are you supposed to do when you hit 65? You probably need social assistance one way or another. So if it isn't a pension it'll be something else, because the sight of such persons starving to death on the sidewalk wouldn't be pretty.

For them to be in this situation, the government must have previously allowed them to come and live here at an advanced age. So Canada implicitly became responsible for their well-being at that point. We obviously can't leave them to rot just because they didn't pay into the Canadian system all those years. Anyway, it's not like this is a whopping huge number of people, sitting pretty and "living off the fat of the land" while you and I are left with nothing. And remember, this does not affect other pension recipients one iota - only tangentially, by possibly adding a few hundred thousand to our $55+ billion deficit. (Is that what Jim Flaherty last pegged it at? I can't keep up).

This email campaign is just a typical baiting tactic of the right-wing political machine meant to get us all fired up over nothing of much import, distracting us from some of the real mis-steps and atrocities of our Harper government (note that we are asked to pressure our NDP or Liberal candidates, implying them as the "culprits"; leaving the Conservatives as the de facto "good guys".)

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What St. Patrick's Day means in Montreal

I blog with Irish whiskey (Jamie's) in my veins tonight.

This is St. Patrick's Day weekend in Montreal, and I imagine for Boston and New York as well. For those who haven't experienced it firsthand, it is perhaps best understood by its singularly unvarnished portrayal in a noteworthy Simpsons episode.

Montreal parade uninterrupted since 1824

Unlike the other two cities' parades, Montreal parade organizers have managed not to skip a year in nearly two centuries - this despite Quebec's penchant for long unforgiving winters. I used to routinely participate with vigor myself (once, even playing mandolin on a float, with painfully cold fingers).

What is special about the Montreal version is the extraordinary cultural openness of the parade. I don't know about the other two cities, but here the event multi tasks as both a festival of Spring and of multiculturalism - in the sense that the Irish were the first immigrants that could be deemed "them" by the existing "us" community; and therefore, stand as the flag-bearers for immigrants of all races and creeds that have seen fit to settle here. To their credit, the parade organizers have maintained an open-minded (and decidedly apolitical) atmosphere for the event, always welcoming to their parade, any community group that wished to participate as "Irish for a day" in the fun-loving spirit of the thing.

The result is a scene of humanity at its very best. Not just Scots, Brits and Quebecois de souche; but Italians, Greeks, Portuguese, Spanish, Jamaican, Haitian, Russian, African, Arab, Jewish and others, all participate in this annual rite of Montreal Spring. We wear cheesey green plastic hats and drink green-tinted Labatt's Blue (among other beverages) and copulate fiercely on Ste. Catherines Street. Well, maybe fiercely isn't the best word, and perhaps copulation is rarely engaged-in (in view of the young'uns), but it's not terribly far away, what with all that booze flowing...

To what end this ramble, you ask?

Well, when I was still in my twenties, I used to work at the Peel Street McDonald's, just around the corner from the middle of the parade route. We would typically double our usual business for a Sunday in March, and we would have a couple of extra multi-gallon coffee decanters at the ready.

Thus, for ten years, I was witness to the parade and the joviality of its participants first-hand. I recall one year in the early 90's where a major blizzard had dumped 30+ centimetres of snow in the preceding 48 hours. That didn't stop the city from scrambling to clear the snow, and managing to still paint the traditional green hash marks down the center of the parade route. Nor did it stop the usual thousands of Montrealers from coming out to watch.

Another year, (perhaps the late 80's?) the parade day temperature was somewhere between frigid and colder than Stephen Harper's heart. I recall us repairing to the Mad Hatter's Pub by 12:30 pm to escape the cold, where we watched the parade on TV while sipping our pints.

During yet another year in those early nineties, I was a part of a celtic band called Killick's Claw, and we played at Buster Keaton's, followed by an evening gig at the Olde Orchard Pub, where we absolutely killed (bear in mind: the sobriety of our audiences was definitely questionable).

Most Unforgiving winter since the '98 Ice Storm

With that in mind, let me just say that this has undoubtedly been the toughest winter I have ever experienced in 38 years living in la Belle Province (with the possible exception of the one featuring the Ice Storm of 1998). Adding to the fun this year, I have a young family, and Montreal's snow removal capacity has been tested to such an extent that as of this writing, the sidewalk in front of my home has been unnavigable by poussette (baby stroller) for six days now.

So suffice it to say, if there was ever a year the city was really relying on its famous St. Patrick's Day parade to let loose and give winter the royal send-off it so rightfully deserves, it's the 2008 version.

And with that, I leave you with this snippet: is there any better metaphor for the promise of the New World than what this parade means for the diverse social patois of Montreal? Where we shed all the cultural and political baggage of our fore bearers to show solidarity of purpose with our fellow immigrant clans in carving out a niche for this generation and those to follow; one that is blessedly unhindered by the divisiveness of the squabbles and internecine battles that we - or our ancestors - chose to relieve ourselves of by emigrating from these places of never-ending conflict and heart-wrenching sorrow?

Bienvenue, welcome and Happy St. Patrick's Day

So to my fellow Montrealers - one of which is a new co-worker and dual Canadian-Lebanese citizen who moved to Montreal to escape the Israeli bombing campaign of 2006 - let me welcome you to the 2008 St. Patrick's Day Parade with open arms and a slug of Irish whiskey.

To you and all other arrivals, recent or otherwise: do come as you are, but not necessarily as you were.

Smile, sing and dance in the street. It is important to respect tradition, you know.

Most of all, welcome to your new home and new future. I know you will make the most of it, and I hope we entrenched Canadians don't disappoint. In the meantime, just

Cheers to you

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