Exhausted but Alive: A Five-Minute Post

 I noticed I hadn't posted here in more than two weeks, so here's a quick rundown:

• We had a major cat emergency last week with one of the little guys (okay, not actually little--11+ lbs--but only one year old).  Involved driving more than an hour for care, daily visits with different local clinics, and desperately close to ICU with feeding tube or euthanasia.  (He hadn't eaten literally in six days.)  I will write more later.  Suffice to say:  appetite stimulant + steroids + anti-nausea meds + pain killers + fluids = much improved.  Too close of a call.
• Tent school (which is now sunroom/screened porch school) is going pretty well.  The major issue is the "teacher" who has three days per week (my kid's friend's father) is, per Tiny Boy, the worst of the three of us.  We have regular staff meetings in the yard.  It's pretty sweet, actually.
• Synchronous learning for Tiny Boy is going better, after a talk with his teacher and some streamlining of on-and-off the computer for him.  She's cut out three (!) of his morning transitions.
• Online teaching for me is not as completely horrible as I thought but it is also a completely different beast and I really don't like it.  Today I'm holding office hrs in a university garden because I need to see these people.  (Also need to pick up some books anyway, so I'll just fill out the form, put on my mask, and go.)
• I bought a sampler pack of pens and learned some things about myself.  It turns out I really like the pen I was using all along (Unibal Signo 207 Micro).  Sarah, turning me on to Jetpens was probably not a good idea. 
  
  
  

RIP IVF Kitten

IVF Kitten (who, at seven, was hardly a kitten) died unexpectedly this morning.  He was a totally healthy, albeit overweight, cat.  He spent the morning stalking a blue jay through the window and purring next to me on the couch.  At some point he moved to his cat bed, which is tucked back behind a chair and, happily for him, near a heating vent.  He started howling and kicking the wall; at first I thought he had a toy or even a mouse.  Then it was clear he wasn't okay.  I took him immediately to the vet but he had stopped breathing, I think, before I could even run and get the cat carrier.  (What I will not tell the kids is that they still offered to try CPR on him, though by that point he'd been dead for at least 10 minutes.)

He is the third cat I've had die in an unexpected fashion; the first had a necropsy, which revealed undiagnosed cardiomyopathy.  That was also the presumed cause of death for the second cat, which was the first's litter-mate.  The vet assumes a similar situation here, or a neurological problem; it's not worth it to me to spend several hundred dollars to find out.  It won't change anything.

The kids are devastated; at first Tiny Boy said he wanted to go to the vet and say goodbye and then decided he didn't want to see something dead.  He's asked me to print pictures, and I think I'll probably make a shutterfly book.  LG has been crying for several hours now, nonstop.  I'm upset off and on, mostly because I didn't really like IVF Kitten (he woke me up, he had a whiny meow, he constantly got into food, climbed on the counters, attacked the other cat and occasionally my kid, etc.) but he was still part of our family.  I worry about Big Cat, who has been losing weight, and who has a (diagnosed) heart condition and possibly something else, like asthma, that should be investigated, but given she has panic attacks, cannot really be taken for testing.

Oy.  This was really not a way to start winter break.

Update, Insomnia Edition (32w2d)

1. We--all lifeforms at Chez Gwinne--survived the weekend.  While you were wrong about me overdoing it on Friday, you should have warned me about the festivities that followed:  errands, applepicking, walks in the woods with friends...  Yes, settling down now...
2. The Boy passed his first of hopefully many NSTs.  I survived my betamethasone injection, which, if you want to know, sucks as much as PIO.  And I have to go back tomorrow for round #2, as I refuse to do an IM injection in my thigh, and there's no way for me to reach my own ass with my left hand anymore (ahem).  I've been warned that my thursday appointments (NST, ultrasound, office visit) will take roughly 2 hours.  At least there's not the 2 hrs in the car anymore...
3. Big Cat, who had another "episode" just before my NST, passed her cardio evaluation.  That is, while cardiac problems do exist, they have largely been ruled out as the cause for whatever is going on.  So, potentially more testing of other bodily systems...  As my other two cats died in such a way that there was no possibility to intervene, it would be great to treat whatever is going on with Big Cat...but at what (literal) cost?  Philosophical vs. financial quandary about the value of animal companions.  Subject for another time, I suppose.
4. Despite everything, I did not have a massive freakout episode in YFPP.  The pregnant masses seemed less whiny, and I just said I was sore from a steroid injection and left it at that.  Did tell the teacher I might not be back, depending on how all this falls out...
5. I have a meeting with my department chair tomorrow (well, I suppose today at this point) that I am absolutely dreading.  Subjects include:  crap with student organization, my "maternity" leave, and, inevitably, the tenure drama.  I think I will need to stop at the neighbors' teahouse and get me some of that anti-stress tea, minus the chamomile...

Single Mama, Two Kids, Two Cats

I think last night was a test.

I'd just managed to get LG into the bathroom to brush her teeth when Big Cat started making a godawful, pseudo-howling noise.  This is a cat who barely ever vocalizes, so I was immediately on alert.  Found her crouched in the hallway, drooling excessively, panting.  Flashback to two dead cats from cardiomyopathy.  IVF Kitten came up to her as if to say what the fuck? are you okay?  Big Cat caught her breath and went downstairs, where she continued the same behavior.  I told LG to get her shoes on and grab the cat carrier from the basement, and off we went to the university emergency animal clinic.  LG doesn't remember, but the only other time we were there we were transporting a cat who died on our kitchen floor when she was two.

After about an hour and an examination, they suggested a chest x-ray, which would take a minimum of 20-30 minutes.  I called a friend, another single mama, to see if she could pick up LG and take her home.  Then I waited.  And waited.  On and off contractions, a missed Lovenox injection.  Wondered if I should just pay the extra $300 to keep her there overnight, so I could get home and my friend could get home and put her own kid to bed.

In the end, Big Cat and I got home around 10:00, more than two hours after this adventure started.  She was declared stable...and I spent half the night checking up on her. 

We now have an appointment for a cardio workup for next Monday.  I could have gotten her in today, but the only opening was the same time as my OB appointment.  In the end, the need for an ultrasound won out.  I just hope we don't have a repeat episode over the weekend, or we'll be back for emergency care.

Taking care of the five life forms who currently occupy Chez Gwinne is exhausting, I tell you.

The Week in Pictures

LG in her "workshop"

Bathing Suit with Bruises, 18w5d

IVF Kitten, Asleep

(that is, not being an asshole)

Why I Didn't Clean My Desk

He's a cutie, isn't he?

Small Good Things

1. My mother came out to visit and help with LG.
2. My mother went home so I can get back to something resembling a routine. (I think maybe I got 4 hours of work done total last week, what with the driving and the panicking and the sick kitten and all.)
3. IVF Kitten is home and playful. Granted, he needs two oral medications and eye goop twice daily for another two weeks, he's doing much better.
4. Ovidrel sleep. While I could do without the Ovidrel nausea, the fake-pregnancy sleep is delightful. Both LG and I slept until 8:00 this morning.
5. The heat wave is done. The windows are open, and it is currently a delightful 74 degrees in my house. Yahoo!

Update on All Things Feline and Ovarian

I think I spent 75% of my day on the phone and the other 25% in the car. Outgoing calls: Dr. Gorgeous's receptionist, Dr. Gorgeous's ultrasound tech, IVF Kitten's vet (x 2), the animal shelter where we adopted IVF Kitten (x 3), my acupuncturist, A. and M. Incoming calls: Dr. Gorgeous's andrologist, Dr. Gorgeous's ultrasound tech, the animal shelter where we adopted IVF Kitten (X 3), my acupuncturist, A. Have I mentioned I hate the phone? (Conversations with good friends excepting, of course.)

The upshot of all this phone calling and the driving that went along with it: IVF Kitten is currently hospitalized at his vet, as he really hasn't been able to eat or drink and his congestion seems to be getting worse (don't they make snot suckers [aka bulb syringes] for cats as well as human newborns?). Thankfully his lungs are still okay, so this is more annoying and stressful than it probably is life-threatening. Tomorrow, if it is determined that IVF Kitten still needs hospitalization, he will be transfered to a vet who works for the animal shelter so I will not need to pay. The very very very nice director of the animal shelter said she'd also be happy to neuter him (free of charge) when it comes time for that, to try to mitigate some of these costs. So it will be okay, and I don't need to spend another night panicked that I'm going to wake up with a dead kitten in LG's bedroom.

And now for the ovary situation: Dr. Gorgeous is still not willing to just call an IUI an IUI. On the right, the fucking cyst (which shrunk) is now up to a whopping 17, which seems to be preventing from anything else growing on that side. On the left, I have follicles at 15, 13, 12, and 10 and a few more unmeasured that she hasn't ruled out because they're showing some signs of growth. It seems that if I have anything else over 10 tomorrow IVF might be a possibility. I'm not counting on it, and I think that would warrant having a phone consult to go over my odds of conception and multiples for both scenarios. I mean, if I was 30 I wouldn't consider going to IUI with 5 follicles...but we all know my history.

And I find myself irrationally (?) pissed off that my specimen was transported from Dr. Gorgeous's office to IVF clinic without my consent. Now, it's not a problem to get the specimen back should we go the IUI route...but every other time I've had specimens moved I've needed to sign a new consent form, and I was not consulted. So, WTF? My assumption is that Dr. G herself drove the specimen out there yesterday, which I find a little perplexing, particularly since she's the one who told me to have it shipped to her office.

That is, it's been a very long, very stressful day, and if I weren't being such a purist, I'd be drinking vodka around now. Argh.