Why Joel, Why?

If I were to tell how many out of classroom administrators, coaches, etc... for such a small school population you would be shocked. John Deacon has decided, without any input from the school based support team, the chapter chair, or anyone, to announce to hires today. All the hires are redundant to what we have in the school.

The worse part is that the students have zero textbooks, the teachers are allowed one ream of paper the entire year, there are no computers, and no supplies for teachers. All we hear is,"there is no money available." How is this possible, when three created out of the blue, redundant positions are filled? When you have a man, Mr FG, who can't speak or write proper English teaching writing to students? Isn't it a requirement to speak and write English proficiently to teach how to write in English? Well, Duh!!

Joel Klein wished to give more power to principals. What Joel failed to realize is that absolute power corrupts absolutely. Thanks Joel for showing how to put children first.

Another Example of Children First

So Mr First Grade gets to equate himself with a Holocaust victim and guess what? He is the new ELA cluster teacher in our school. Makes sense. He's a cluster f***.

So what are his qualifications? Give me a minute whilst I ponder this somewhat rhetorical question. Still pondering. Thinking. Wait, got it! He has a heart beat and walks upright (though some would tend to question this).

I have always assumed, and I guess I might be wrong in this case, that one needs a rudimentary knowledge of the English language to teach ELA. Perhaps there is a memo out there I have yet to read. Now understand please that I am not in any way, shape or form, belittling those who do not speak English, or whose first language is not English. But come on, this is not right. And not just because of Mr FG's English problem.

He has zero classroom management skills. In fact he lacks any skills with children. Today I had to rescue him yet again. He was walking ten third graders through the hall. I heard several blood curdling shrieks. I went to investigate and the students were completely out of control. I had to settle these kids down, get them to do what they were supposed to be doing. Wait, I embellish a wee bit. Numb Nuts came along and tried, but couldn't. So there I am with the students finally settled down and Mr FG starts opening his mouth making the problem worse. I had to send him away like a child so the problem didn't get worse.

Please explain to me how this benefits the children. Somebody. Anybody.

Has anyone seen Andy Kaufman?

Yeah, I am being cryptic still.

Mr FG (First Grade)

After a long morning I finally make it to the bathroom and whose shoes do I see in the stall next to me? Yes, Mr First Grade. How did I know? It is easy. The slacks that were cuffed with staples, the uneven cuffs, the shoes that are appropriated from a sleeping homeless person. Just to easy.

I say good morning and promptly go about my business. Mr FG can't shut up. He continues harping on how he is being persecuted by not only the powers that be, but other teachers as well. I wished he had chosen another word other than persecute. Let's look at the definition:

1: to harass or punish in a manner designed to injure, grieve, or afflict ; specifically : to cause to suffer because of belief 2: to annoy with persistent or urgent approaches (as attacks, pleas, or importunities)

I don't think his beliefs are being persecuted, unless of course his belief that he is a capable teacher, and a fine human being that should be taken seriously. I think if he wishes to be taken seriously he shouldn't get drunk in a bar and dance for nickels. And there have not been any persistent or urgent approaches towards him. So persecuted? Maybe he should go to Darfur or speak to a Holocaust victim to learn the meaning of persecution.

And this morning he doesn't shut the f*** up! He is droning on and on how every single person in the school is out to get him. "They all talk about me behind my back", he keeps on saying. I am thinking that he needs some Reynolds Wrap for a hat. I finally ask him to let me have some privacy, the broccoli from last night is not doing me well.


He has leveled charges against teachers in years past that he is being asked to do more work than he thinks he should. When he was allowed a classroom his students came out worse off in June than they were at the beginning of the year. But what he has pulled this year is shameful. The staff have gone overboard to help him. How does he repay these people? He spits on them. He is an ingrate. And worse, he is delusional. Delusional about his sense of self.

The First Grade Teacher

I need to start t his posting with an explanation of some teaching bashing I have done in this blog. First, I am one hundred percent behind my union. But I am also one hundred percent for the students who are affected by incompetent, slip through the cracks, unsafe to be near in a classroom teacher. Mrs Ass Kisser is not a safety concern, but a phony. I will acknowledge that she does know the curriculum, but she is lazy, and whitewashes what is to be seen. As long as that bulletin board looks pretty that is all that matters.

Which brings me to Mr First Grade. Oh I just love coming up with these pet names. But I can’t take credit for this pet name. Credit is due a colleague of mine who dubbed him “the world’s oldest first grader.” For the purposes of this blog Mr First Grade will henceforth be known as Mr FG.

Watching Mr FG teach today reminded me of when I was little and me and my friends played teacher. I mean he would have fit right in with how we played except that we spoke better English. His English is a cross between the Frito Bandito, Don Corleone, and my Grandma Celia with her Polish accent. Is it any wonder the kids have never learned thing one in the years he has been my school?

His suits are never tailored as if he was an eight year old wearing daddy’s clothes to work. He has no classroom management, if left alone in a room of six year olds they are soon running amok. When paired with another teacher he never does the teaching and lets the other teacher do all the work, which I guess is good thing if you think about it. He has already been removed from one school and dumped with us. How does he do it? He must be extorting someone.

And the thing is he doesn’t see it at all. He thinks he is Charlie Moore! He makes Mrs Krabappel look like teacher of the year!

It has been proven that any student he has had is at least a year behind students from other classes in the same grade. How does this happen? Why does it happen? In fact rumor has it that he has been terminated from another big city school district for incompetence. There has to be some truth to that. I think there is a lot of truth to that.