The One Star book Review Guessing Game

There's a tumblr that picks the best of Good Read's one star reviews (there must be a tumblr for everything). It is GOLD. No, I won't link to it just now because then you'll know which books these reviews refer to.

What I want to do is to play a guessing game. We'll start with something easy:

"Maybe my main issue with this book was just that it wasn’t lighthouse-y enough.”

Ok, you got that (surely you did?). Try these:

“I wish I could meet a lifelong love by vomiting through his window.”

“Even if you read this book 500 times, it has always the same plot line.”

"it might be a satyr and all but I did not like it."

“not interested in books about Satin.”

And from my top 5:

“I didn’t really get the cookie thing.”

“I don’t know if my book was incomplete or if this whole thing was some kind of weird joke.”

“Reading this story is like taking a cold bath with someone you dislike.”

“A 24-foot dirty old man creeps down the streets late at night, when all the grown-ups are asleep, peering in through little children’s windows. No, not the subject of a court case, just a momentously popular piece of fiction by the much beloved [name redacted].

“HOW MANY BOOKS HAS SHE WRITTEN ANYWAY HUNDREDS RIGHT ? WAY TOO MANY I TELL YOU — STOP THIS WOMAN”   

Okay: you can start guessing now.*

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*Answers here. 

Advance notice: War Horse

Yes, okay, so I'm going to watch War Horse on Sunday. The kid is the excuse, but I promise to retain an open mind - by which I mean, I anticipate that I will dislike the film immensely (despite its few compensations) and will duly report my experiences.

I realise, with horror, that I haven't written about any films since May or June last year*. Not even just to be nasty.

So in anticipation, and as preliminary preparation, I thought I'd remind you guys what it used to be like here when I talked cinema: Slumdog, Dasvidaniya, about the Asian Awards and so on.

Thank god for people like Banno, I tell you. (Here, for instance, just for your reading pleasure, is Banno on Ghajini. )

I'm in danger of forgetting I ever used to have anything to do with cinema.

So, I promise to bring despatches back from the front. Stay tuned.

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*Announcements, naturally, don't count.

'In a party mood'

No time, but this is impossible to resist!

Via the lovely Ms. Baroque, I give you The Man In The Party Mood:

Oh yeah.

Which obscure sorrow would you choose?

I'm kind of torn right now* between nementia, aimonomia and jalopia. And also, somewhat, dream fever though it seems to me somewhat less sorrowful than the others.

Via kind friend on Twitter (which I should probably just sign up for, seeing how much of my reading comes from links from there).

No, wait. I think my word of the day is going to be dialecstatic. Now to find a Scotsman somewhere in Hyderabad...

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*There must be a name for this feeling that might be classified as an obscure enough sorrow, but see 'aimonomia'.

Rejectoscope

A little sweetness and rejection for Monday: The Astrology of Literary Rejection.

Mine managed to be pithy but boring. This is the kind of thing that makes me believe in my Cancer ascendant [with apologies for previous enormous mistake. This is what happens when you write a post as you chat about IWE on the phone]:

Dear Landon,
Your submission was so upsetting that my doctor had to create an entirely new cocktail–a pinata, if you will–of anti-depressants for me. I briefly considered jumping off the roof of my building to alleviate my suffering, however, this would require leaving the house. Instead I took to my bed with Celine’s Journey to the End of the Night, Primo Levi’s Survival in Auschwitz and a favorite Elliott Smith playlist to cheer myself up.
I am feeling better now, thanks. But I want nothing to do with your submission.
The Editor

Hmm. But remember it's a Monday and one needs cheering up. [Via Silliman]