Reza Aslan: So Cute.

When he makes appearances on The Daily Show and The Colbert Report to continually promote his book No God But God, I literally squeal at the tv. I could overlook the whole age differential between us: he's at least nine years older than I am, and 5-6 years is usually my limit. But our belief systems would probably keep us apart. He follows the teachings of Islam, and I'm not into organized religion. I believe in the People Upstairs who take care of me.

Like Reza Aslan would ever be into me. I guarantee he has eager Persian women throwing themselves at him left and right. Not to mention all the non-Persian ladies, like me, who want him, too.