Faith: For the Man He'll Become

Carolyn McCulley from Solo Femininity has written an article this month for Boundless entitled, Faith: For the Man He'll Become. There is no perfect man out there waiting for us to marry. No one man can match our dreams for a godly husband. Nonethless, Carolyn's article encourages single women to continue with these hopes and aspirations for a future mate, but to recognise that it is only through premarital discernment and a wives holy influence that any future husband can be headed in that direction. She writes:

How would you describe the man you want to marry? What would he be like as a husband, father, and provider?

If you've had numerous godly male role models in your life — your father, pastor, boss, family friend, uncle, small group leader — you may already have a mental picture based on the qualities you appreciate in these men. You may see some of the husbands and fathers in your church and think to yourself that you'd like to marry a man just like them. Those are great aspirations to have! But first you may need to talk to their wives.

Why? Because these women didn't marry the husbands they have today. Typically, they married less seasoned men. Thanks to the Holy Spirit's refinements over time, as well as the feminine counsel, influence, and encouragement of these wives, their husbands are different some 20-plus years down the line.

She goes on:

Take a look at the young men you know. Can you see them with eyes of faith? Like trees in springtime with an impressionistic haze of buds, the potential for growth is strongly evident but it's not yet fully realized.

So here's what I want to impart to you: There is a learning curve to a man's leadership as a husband and father. The qualities you can see in a 50-year-old man's life were developed over 50 years. There are 25 more years of growth ahead for the 25-year-old man before it's fair to compare them. While you are called to be discerning about the characters of the men you befriend or court/date, you also have a part in encouraging these men to grow. In fact, that's part of your learning curve as you prepare for being a wife.

To read the rest of the article click here.

Bring Back the Lions!

Yesterday, Glasgow's Sunday Herald ran a feature story, "On a Hymn and a Prayer" looking at "who are the 21st Century faithful and where do they worship?" The article, written by "lapsed Christian Vicky Allan" looked at five churches in Edinburgh on a quest to "find out more about those who have resisted the trend towards secularity." Featured predominantly, was our own church, Charlotte Chapel. Our pastor, Peter Grainger was quoted extensively regarding the nature and role of the church in today's society. Peter commented:

"We are living in a post-Christian society now, where I think the church thrives best. Christendom is a very mixed blessing, where you impose religion on people. So all this stuff about attacking Christians in the media and Christian Unions, I think that's good. We'll all have to stand up and be counted rather than waffling along. Bring back the lions."

Overall, the article was surprisingly positive stating that: "none of the services I attended gives any indication that this is a religion in decline. There is a vibrancy, a sense of solidarity against the rest of the world. Indeed, sometimes it seems that these modern-day church-goers revel in their outsiderness."

Perhaps, in the words of Ms Allan "it is the strident singing, the way the Pastor, Peter Grainger, stands in his pulpit swaying as a four voice choir acts as a backing group, that makes Charlotte Chapel the most successful church in Edinburgh. It's the welcome you get as you sit in a pew and the student nurse next to you turns and introduces her friends. Or perhaps it is the sermons: long, challenging affairs lasting almost an hour."

However, this near perfect report did have one blemish. Allan admits to finding somethings difficult, in particular those three out of the five churches who "have not embraced the idea of women as church leaders or preachers, relegating them, instead, to other roles...This in itself feels significantly out of touch with the times." And yet, should we view this in such negativity? I'm inclined not to think so. Perhaps to add to Ms Allan's list, the reason why those three out of five churches are "bucking the contemporary trend" is because they are taking seriously God's Word to live conspicuously in our world and to embrace what it truly means to be men and women, made in God's image who live and work as He intended.

Neverthless, this should make us reflect on two things. (1) The issue of biblical manhood and womanhood is not only a church issue, but an evangelistic one. In other words, the complementarian position is for many secular women what apologists call a "defeater" - that is, any belief that hinders someone from considering the central beliefs of Christianity. Thus, we must be well versed on why we believe what we believe on this matter.

(2) Nonetheless, it is vital that we don't simply abandon the biblical teaching of womanhood for the sake of gaining a perfect 10/10 or to "seemingly" make our evangelism easier. The history of many liberal churches shows that when we start to pick and choose between passages that are acceptable to modern ears, very soon our confidence in the Word of God is diminished and the Gospel is lost.

What's Your Child Worth?

Yesterday, Tim Challies' post entitled An Exhibitionist and Voyeuristic Culture, commented on an article in which radio listeners were calling in to take up the opportunity to give up their child for 24 hours in order to get a hold of a new Playstation 3.

The article recounts the radio's practical joke, or as they saw it, a "social experiment" asking "folks if they were willing to give up their baby for 24 hours in exchange for one of Sony's highly coveted video game consoles. More than a dozen people called to offer up their kids, but only a few realized it was all just a gag." Sadly, "people with babies of all ages — including a 2-day-old and a 1-week-old — made it on air. One of the more serious sounding calls came from a woman named "Katie," who agreed to give up her 1-month-old for three days. She wanted to sell the PS3 on eBay to make some extra money for the holidays."

Challies in his post goes onto helpfully comment on this sickening behaviour:

This is the kind of behavior that is only too common in our culture. We live in what is now an voyeuristic, exploitative society. We love to see into other people's lives and because of technology, this is easier to do than ever before. But there is more. As voyeurism has increased, so has exhibitionism. Countless numbers of people are willing to sell their bodies, souls or children for a fleeting fifteen minutes of fame and a ten thousand dollar paycheck. From world famous celebrities to absolute nobodies, we yearn to be noticed and have been only too willing to sell ourselves. Humiliation is marketed on television and a blurb in People magazine has become adequate payment for having personal problems brought before the world.

We, the consumers, feed this frenzy. When we turn on the television we want to watch celebrities, both new and old, living out their lives before the cameras or learning to dance or cook or crochet. We want to watch families whose spending has spiralled out of control try to fix their broken finances. We want to watch families whose kids are overweight learn how to eat healthy food or adults who are fat lose weight or couples who have forgotten the joys of sex to rediscover intimacy or normal people slurp down blood, guts and bugs. We want to see people learn what not to wear, to see people with rolls on their stomachs get liposuction and funny-looking noses get the perfect Hollywood nose job. We want to escape our own problems by wallowing in other people's problems which somehow always seem so much worse than our own. We want to see the sad, pathetic, tragic details of their lives, their personalities, their bodies. The more detail we get, the happier we are.

Back in March a web site made public a memo from ABC dealing with the hit show "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition." Looking to cast a new season, the show's producers asked network affiliates to look for families who could be on the show. Their wishlist is nauseating.

"We are open to any and ALL story ideas and are especially looking for the following:

• Extraordinary Mom/Dad recently diagnosed with ALSFamily who has child with PROGERIA (aka "little old man disease").
• Congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis, referred to as CIPA by the few people who know about it. (There are 17 known cases in the the U.S.-let me know if one is in your town!) This is where kids cannot feel any physical pain.
• Muscular Dystrophy Child - Amazing kid who is changing people's views about MD.MADD
• Drunk Driving - Family turns tragedy into triumph after a losing a child to drunk driving.
• Family who has multiple children with Down Syndrome (either adopted or biological).
• Amazing loved Mom or dad diagnosed with melanoma (skin cancer).
• Home Invasion - family robbed, house messed up (vandalized) - kids fear safety in their home now.
• Victims of hate crime in own home. Family's house victim of arson or severely vandalized."

It is clear that the show was not seeking these people primarily because they are the most worthy of help, but because they make the best stories. The worse the tragedy, the better the entertainment value...

...Reality is no longer reality. Fame is no longer fame. Reality television offers anything but reality, and yet we are drawn to it. The internet offers fleeting, exploitative fame. It is escapism and exploitation. Somehow, it seems, we have come to care about other people's lives more than our own. We invest ourselves in other people's problems, other people's joys, hurts and pains all the while ignoring our own. We escape from our own lives by caring about other people's.

When a radio station offers to trade children for a Playstation 3, it does not surprise me that people are willing to accept the offer. We live in a strange new reality where tragedy can reap generous monetary rewards and personal problems can be marketed and sold. And even if there is no financial compensation, fleeting fame seems an adequate reward for exposing even the most humiliating, intimate details. We live in a society where it makes perfect sense to give up a child for 24 hours in order to get a hold of a new playstation.

But before we get too self-righteous and say that we would never hand over our kids to strangers for material gain, the thought did occur to me that we could all make subtle, yet similar transactions. It's all too easy to allow our possessions (and more so our striving for them) to come between us and our children.

Consider the parent who is always working that extra hour to make that little bit more "for the sake of kids," but who ends up losing out on valuable family time. Or the mum at home: so intent on keeping the family abode just right, making luscious meals for the household, but at the expense of giving significant focus to her children.

It is not that good housekeeping and providing for our family is wrong, they just need to have their place. Against all our material possessions, it's a good question to keep at the forefront of our minds: what's my child worth?

Purity, Humility & Certainty

It was only a matter of time. Now, finally, some local controversy in Edinburgh and Exeter has hit the national press. The Times Newspaper and Scottish Television News headlined with the same controversy: increasing restrictions on Christian Unions in the UK.

This follows the virtual closing down of Exeter Christian Union, because it restricts membership to Christians, and the banning of the "Pure" course at the Universty of Edinburgh - a course teaching a biblical view on marriage - because some claim it 'homophobic.' For more extensive details, read here one of the main Times articles: Faith, Fundamentalism and the Fight for Students Souls. A supplementary article also claims that student Unions may take legal action over the matter.

Whatever else we might say, once more it seems evident that our tolerant society is in fact tolerent of everything except the views of evangelical Christians. The head of UCCF communications makes a telling comment when he says:“The politically correct agenda is being used to shut people up under the guise of tolerance when, in fact, you tolerate anything other than the thing you disagree with."

The temptation, nevertheless, is go soft on truth whenever society finds it uncomfortable. I'm reminded of something John Piper has said, stressing that we must not confuse humility with uncertainty in our times:

"Beware of a modern mistake here. Humble does not mean wishy-washy when it comes to truth. Forbearing does not mean saying: truth doesn't matter. It is a great mistake to confuse humility with uncertainty. But many today do confuse them. They think that the only humble demeanor is the uncertain, vague, iffy demeanor. The only way to preserve the unity of the Spirit is to be vague, uncertain in your grasp of truth? He didn't seem to be that way. I think G.K. Chesterton put his finger on our problem fifty years ago in a little book called Orthodoxy:

What we suffer from today is humility in the wrong place. Modesty has moved from the organ of ambition. Modesty has settled upon the organ of conviction; where it was never meant to be. A man was meant to be doubtful about himself, but undoubting about the truth; this has been exactly reversed. Nowadays the part of a man that a man does assert is exactly the part he ought not to assert--himself. The part he doubts is exactly the part he ought not to doubt--the Divine Reason." (G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy, p.55)

John Piper, sermon: "One Lord, One Spirit, One Body For All Time and All Peoples"

Halloween & How We Handle It

Carving out pumpkins, roaming streets, dressing up as witches and ghouls, chapping folks doors looking for money (kids over here aren't in it for the candy!), and 'dooking' for apples...

What should our response be to halloween? Increasingly, this is a big question for us in the UK, as the American style 'trick or treating' begins to take over in superstores. Here are some different takes on the discussion. Read these articles and tell us what you think:

Christians & Halloween by John McArthur
Halloween: Evil or Not? by Lachlan Ramage
Halloween Fast Approaches by Tim Challies
An Unapologetically Dark House on Halloween by Motte Brown

Be sure to read tomorrow for a different take on October 31st: Reformation Day.

Roles Without Relegation

Sharon James in her article, Roles Without Relegation: Recovering Biblical Women's Ministries, explores the varying issues regarding the role of women in ministry. Sharon argues for a complementarian approach of equal status, but different design among men and women in the church, family and society.
Her article is tremendously helpful as it explores: the contemporary challenge that faces the church; the biblical vision of complementarity; ministry in the workplace; ministry as wife and mother; evangelistic ministries; prayer ministries; teaching ministries; serving ministries and women in the diaconate.

For a shorter read on this same issue, it is also worthwhile looking at an Introduction to Biblical Manhood & Womanhood also by Sharon James, and her book, God's Design for Women comes with our recommendation.

Sharon James, along with her husband Bill lead the UK branch of the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. She has also written two other books: My Heart in His Hands (a biography of Ann Judson) and In Trouble and in Joy: Four Women who lived for God. Sharon has degrees in history (Cambridge University) and theology (Toronto Baptist Seminary).

Brother, You're Like a Six!

"Physically attractive...
good sense of humour... fun-loving... chemistry... financially stable...."

Such are the search criteria for many singles when looking for a prospective partner. But as Christians: "Is this the foundational way to evaluate a potential spouse?" Scott Croft, an elder at Capitol Hill Baptist Church, thinks not. You can read his challenging article, Brother, You're Like a 6 at Boundless. Another article well worth a read is: What Does A Biblical Relationship look like? Ladies, some things worth pondering over, and passing on to the boys.

The Women who Made a Difference

This week's Telegraph ran an article: The Women who Made a Difference. It focussed on five women who have made their mark on the world in very different ways, and as such were named Women of the Year 2006. One winner is quoted as saying: "I have a lot of respect for these awards because they recognise ordinary people who do extraordinary things, and they're one of the best for recognising what's really important."

While these women are no doubt worthy of their accolades, I would suggest that ordinary Christian women, past and present, have also made extraordinary contributions, leaving their mark on the world. None more important are those women in the bible who God chose to use in the unfolding of redemptive history. I've been reading about these women in Twelve Extraordinary Women: How God Shaped Women of the Bible and What He Wants to do With You, by John MacArthur.

These twelve women were ordinary in one sense, but extraordinary in another. MacArthur writes: "Most of them were unremarkable in and of themselves. They were ordinary, common, and in some cases shockingly low-caste women... All these women became extrordinary not because of any natural qualities of their own, but because the one true God whom they worshipped is great, mighty, glorious, and awesome, and He refined them like silver....They therefore stand as reminders of our fallenness and our potential."

What is even more remarkable in reading this book is how it presents, and rightly so, the way in which the bible exalts women, contrary to many who say otherwise. MacArthur says: "Far from ever demeaning or belittling women, Scripture often seems to go out of the way to pay homage to them, to ennoble their roles in society and family, to acknowledge the importance of their influence, and to exalt the virtues of women who were particularly godly examples."

May we also seek to make a difference in our world, not just with natural qualities and abilities, but with the potential that God alone can bring to fruition in our lives. And let us not forget that it is in our different-ness, as women, that those around us can see what is really important.

People with a Special Calling

This month in Evangelicals Now there is an article by Jacqui Wright called Christian Single Parents: People with a Special Calling. It looks at the different phases in family life: crisis; survival; setbacks; stability and service, before describing what it's like being a Christian Single Parent. For those of us who don't find ourselves in this position, ponder these words:

"Christian single parents are real people living in a real broken world who have to face the consequences of the brokenness, for themselves and their children. The majority are unwilling divorcees having to deal with a Christian spouse’s wrong choices and actions. Others are widowed or were unmarried. But the reality of Christian single parenting is the same for all. It is a hard task for we are not ‘Superdad’ or ‘Supermum’, but weak and frail human beings with needs and desires, like everyone else.

Often we are caught in between two groups in the church: married people raising children, who do not face the unique problems we do, and single people, who may never have married and do not fully understand child rearing. So we are a ‘parent’, but not married, and we are ‘single’, but not footloose and fancy free. Christian single parents, and their children, need non-judgemental understanding and support from both sides: the married parents and the singles without children, and from the whole church family. Most of all, they need unconditional love and acceptance."

You can read the rest of the article here.

"Young, Restless, Reformed"

My convictions and the current surge of joy in my heart couldn't stop me from posting what I'm about to link. While musing around in blogland I noticed that the T4G blog pointed out an article run by Christianity Today, "Young, Restless & Reformed: Calvinism is Making a Comeback & Shaking up the Church." It's been an encouraging read and I commend it to you - especially to some of you young folks I know who the article so reminded me of. In it, Collin Hansen (the author) attributes much of this resurgence to John Piper, pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church who without a doubt has an "unrelenting intensity, demanding discipline, and singular passion—for the glory of God." Much mention is also made of the young pastor Joshua Harris the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Of earlier years, Harris is quoted as saying "even just thinking doctrinally would have been foreign to me." Yet now Harris' take on it is different: "once you're exposed to [doctrine], you see the richness in it for your own soul, and you're ruined for anything else." Read the article here.