Prayers from home

I am currently reading through Seasons of a Mother's Heart by Sally Clarkson and I am finding it extraordinarily helpful. Sally Clarkson and her husband run an established ministry for home-schooling families and, although this book is directed at home-schooling mums, it has a lot to say to those just need encouragement in their mothering, whether or not they home school.

She splits the book into the four seasons namely, Spring, season of renewal; Summer, season of response; Fall, season of resolve; Winter, season of reflection. She takes each in turn and offers wise counsel on such things as finding joy in our children and where God has placed us, bringing our desires into line with God's will, building our house, discipling our children. She uses examples from her experience of raising four children and writes like a good friend or older sister.

One chapter I found especially helpful was on the importance of praying for our children. How easy it is to be anxious about how our kids will turn out, whether they will love God and know to do the right thing, worrying about if we are doing enough to make this happen. Instead we should divert our energies from worry into prayer: not only is this the most important thing we can do for our children, but God will use it to bring us peace. Sally writes:

The more time I spend with my Father in prayer, the better prepared I will be to help my children. And even more important, the more I can rest in the Lord knowing, by faith, that my children are in his hands. When I can trust in God's providence, draw on his grace, join in the spiritual battle through prayer, and praise his name, all the other things I do as a mother seem to pale in significance. The more I grow as a mother, the more I grow convinced that the most important impact I will ever have on my children will be through my prayers for them.

Sometimes I feel like I have fallen to my knees out of exhaustion, tiredness, or frustration. But no matter what has brought me to my knees, that is right where God wants me. It is only from being on my knees in prayer that I will have the strength and assurance to stand up and keep going as a mother. The battle belongs to the Lord. Amen!

I whole-heartedly recommend this book. Whether you happen to be home-schooling or not, it will encourage you in your motherhood mission.

A Mother's Work....

....A Model for True Work. Here is a must read article, and below is a snippet.

All work is sacred work, worthy of the diligence, the effort. I pick up lost legos, dry the pots, whish the toilets and this serves God. For if I can’t meet God in my work, where do I meet Him? If I don’t serve Him here, where do I serve Him? Are we not called to serve God in the work – not merely in some imagined, mirage place outside of work?

In a model of Christian work, we live one-piece lives, all weaving together into a sacred cloth as unto the Lord with no false seams between God and our days.

And in our work, sacred work because there is no such thing as secular work, we first serve God. I’ll put away the laundry, sweep the crumbs, polish the windows not to serve my family primarily, but to serve God.

Helpful Resources

Over at Revive Our Hearts there are some useful resources available for downloading and printing. Here are some, but you can find more here.

• 10 Reasons You Can't Afford Not to be Hospitable
• A Call to Biblical Womanhood
• Biblical Portrait of Womanhood
• Men & Women: Similarities & Differences
• 10 Questions for Explore & Understand a Church
• 31 Days of Praying for Your Pastor
• 31 Days of Praying for Your Pastor's Wife
• Follow the Leaders
• 15 Ways to Please Your Husband
• 30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge
• 31 Days of Praying for Your Husband
• Personal "Hedges"
• Mirror Mirror On the Wall: The Decision to Live Your Life for God's Glory
• Sexual Purity
• 23 Great Questions to Ask Your Kids
• 12 Ways to Pray for Your Child's Future Mate
• 15 Ways to Make Prayer a Natural Part of Family Life
• 31 Biblical Virtues to Pray for Your Children
• How's Your Love Life?

Biblical Parenting

Here is the audio for the sessions from the recent Biblical Parenting conference at Mars Hill, with speaker Tedd Tripp. Alternatively you can go here and here to watch the video.

The Call to Formative Instruction



Giving Kids a Vision for God's Glory

Shepherding A Child's Heart Conference

Some of our UK readers might be interested in attending the upcoming Shepherding a Child's Heart Conference with speaker Tedd Tripp at Grace Church Bristol in March of next year. Here is the blurb:

Everyone wants to be a great parent — the biggest responsibility of parenthood is teaching your children to love Jesus with all their heart, soul and strength. For parents with children of any age, Tedd Tripp’s insightful, biblical teaching provides perspectives and procedures for shepherding your child’s heart into the paths of life.

For more information and registration go here.

9Marks Family & Parenting E-News

The latest e-newsletter from 9Marks is available with some reviews and articles on Family and Parenting. You can download the whole thing on PDF here or follow these links:

• Wanted: Kingdom Families
• Why Families Matter to God
• How Families Minister to the Church & the World
• Raising Boys vs Raising Girls
• Learning to Multiply
• 39 Lessons, 20 Tips & 10 "Don'ts" for Parenting
• Favourite Children's Bibles

• Book Review: Family Driven Faith by Voddie Baucham Jr
• Book Review: Practicing Hospitality by Pat Ennis & Lisa Tatlock
  

Home-work

My husband has being doing a bit of home-work recently, listening to a few talks that focus on family life. He's listed a few good resources for guys, but here's a list of some of my home-work assignments, some completed, others I'm keen to give due attention.

Loving My Husband by Carolyn Mahaney
Loving My Children by Carolyn Mahaney
Celebrating Marital Love by Carolyn Mahaney
Wisdom for Women from Titus 2 by Susan Hunt
A Fresh Look at Titus 2 by Carolyn Mahaney
Sarah Edwards: Jonathan's Home & Haven by Noel Piper
Marriage: Forgiving & Forbearing by John Piper
Honouring the Biblical Call of Motherhood by John Piper
To Be A Mother is a Call to Suffer by John Piper
The Centrality of the Home by Voddie Baucham
Shepherding Your Child's Heart 0-5 by Tedd Tripp
A Wife's Responsibility to Help Her Husband by Barbara Hughes

Magnifying God & Money

Yesterday I asked how I might instill in my son a healthy understanding of money and spending and bring him up in such a way that he finds it more rewarding to give than to receive. Here are my thoughts on how we might magnify God when teaching our children about money.

1. Teach your children to love Christ more than anything else by loving Christ more than anything else.

2. Teach your children that every good thing comes from God and not because Daddy has a job.

3. Teach your children that Daddy has a job because God has given him a job.

4. Teach your children to be thankful for all that they have by being thankful for all that you have.

5. Continually thank God with your children for all that you have.

6. Continually thank God with your children for all that you do not have because Christ is better by far.

7. Pray with your children for those who do not have.

8. Give to those who do not have.

9. Teach your children to be good stewards by looking after property, clothes and toys.

10. Teach them not to worry about what they will eat or wear by trusting God for all that you need.

11. Don't spend what you do not have.

12. Share what you do have.

Anymore???

John Piper has a helpful sermon on Luke 12: 32-34, Magnifying God with Money.

32 Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. 33 Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. 34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Here are his main points from the sermon:

1. Do not fear when it comes to money & things

2. Have an impulse toward simplicity rather than accumulation

3. Maximise your treasure in Heaven, not on earth

4. Your heart moves toward what you cherish

Provoking Our Children

I found this post over at Pulpit Magazine interesting. It explores Paul's command in Ephesians 6:4, "do not provoke your children." As MacArthur says;

To “provoke . . . to anger” suggests a repeated, ongoing pattern of treatment that gradually builds up a deep–seated anger and resentment that boils over in outward hostility.

He then goes on to list 8 ways in which we can provoke our children. I'll list them briefly, but do go to the article to read further.

1. Overprotection
2. Favouritism
3. Pushing for achievement
4. Discouragment
5. Failing to sacrifice for your children
6. Failing to let children grow up at their own pace
7. Using love as a tool of reward or punishment
8. Physical and verbal abuse

Blessings, not Burdens

Following on from the thoughts I posted on Thursday, I came across an article (HT: Amy) challenging us again to have a correct view of our children.

While it might not be in the plan of God for all of us to have 6, 7, 8 or 9 kids, it is his will that we ditch the (at times) worldly view that our children are burdens and not blessings. Here's an excerpt from the article by Barbara Curtis, which can be found here.

As our family continued to grow, I continued to hear the same belittling banter about kids I’d heard for years – only now it was on my church steps:

“I don’t know how you do it! My two are enough to drive me crazy!”

“I’ve finally got all the kids in school. I can’t imagine having to deal with another baby!”

“I wanted more but my husband put his foot down.”

“How can you afford it?”

My heart would ache for any children in earshot. My heart would ache for the missed opportunities. And finally, my heart would ache for the misunderstanding of how it all must sound to God – who certainly never got the memo that children were a burden.

As an ex-feminist I knew where this all started, but still I wondered: how could the church have so mindlessly absorbed ideas from the popular culture rather than looking to God, whose truth never changes? In 1997 in an article titled “A Call to Arms,” I wrote:

Still, I wonder what the church would look like today if we were influenced less by the culture which sees children as invaders – who will rob us of our freedom, status, beauty, wealth, and sanity – and influenced more by Scripture, which steadfastly affirms children as God’s reward, as in Psalm 127

Food for Thought

Barbara and Kent Hughes' Disciplines of a Godly Family has become interesting 'baby feeding time reading' for me. In the introduction, Barbara writes concerning parents, and yes, Christian parents who convey to their children that they have "thwarted their potential." She writes:

Often the telltale sign among Christian parents of a defective parental perspective is an ambivalence about family. Outwardly these parents give lip service to the privilege of parenting, but inwardly they carry the attitude that parenting is a burden to be endured.

How do such attitudes come to dwell in Christian hearts? First, many people are captive to a culture that defines self-worth and fulfillment in terms of contribution, name, education, and money. Society applauds the person who designs a building more than it does the one who attends to the architecture of a child's soul.

Our culture values a face that is known to the public far more than it does a countenance reflected in a child's eyes. The world sets a higher priority on attaining a degree than on educating a life. It values the ability to give things more than it does giving oneself. This approach to self-worth has been relentlessly sown by modern culture and has taken root in many Christian hearts, so that there is no room for another self - even if it is one's own child.

Crosswalk

One resource I like to check out now and again is the Crosswalk webzine. There are interesting reads covering singles, marriage, family life, entertainment, career & finance, and spirituality. Here are some of their recent articles for your interest. They will only take up a few minutes of your time to read. Even better, check out the site here.

• Words can Captivate Your Man
• Want a Healthy Marriage? Prioritize Fun
• A Relationship Requires more than just Love
• Take Your Life off Hold
• The Worth of a Stay-at-Home Spouse
• Mummy Wars
  

Anticipating Needs

Katherine over at Raising Five really hit the spot with me this week in her post about anticipating the needs of her husband and children. She writes:

"I get focused on all the things that go into running a home without remembering who all this work is for! My little ones, especially, hang on me, interrupt me, whine and cry, usually when I’ve just sat down to answer email or pay bills. But even my big kids bicker and get into trouble when I seem most preoccupied with my own agenda. There are lots of ways we can anticipate needs as wives and mothers."

Read here to find out how.

Titus 2 Truths: To Love their Children Pt 3

We're having one of those months in our house when our son's behaviour is far from acceptable! My husband and I are finding that we are spending more time disciplining him than we ever thought imaginable! When we're not disciplining him, most of the rest of the time is spent asking in frustration: 'why is he behaving like this?' I know we are not the only parents of a three year old going through stages like this. However, in thinking about our series on how we must learn to love our children, I find that I'm challenged more than ever about how to love Glen in a way that is pleasing to God and good for him.

As I 'hit the books' to gain some godly wisdom and advice I was struck by something that Carolyn Mahaney shares in her book, Feminine Appeal. In looking for inspiration on how to discipline, I was challenged more about the attitudes and thoughts I have about my son (and daughter too, as she has her moments!). So many times after it seems World War III has erupted and ended, I'm left thinking negative things about Glen and I ponder on the frustration, hard work, tiredness and burden of it all. Carolyn writes:

"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!" Psalm 127:3-5

What words or images come to mind when you think about your children? Are you inclined like I was to think: work, responsibility, sacrifice, burden, more work? Look at the words the psalmist used to describe children: heritage, fruit, reward, arrows. Then he followed with this exclamation: "Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!"

Our speech and actions are shaped by our thoughts. Therefore, we must make every effort to think Psalm 127 kinds of thoughts about our children. Thinking of them as a heritage, a reward, and a blessing will alter our attitude and provide the fertile soil for our tender love to grow.

In the next couple of months our quiver will be the recipient of yet another arrow. So many times when things get difficult with the little rewards I already have, I panic at how I'll manage with another. My challenge to you and more importantly, myself, is to think tender thoughts of my children despite their wayward behaviour. Although I'm not to blame for my children's sinful behaviour, as a parent, I am held responsible for my thoughts, words, attitudes and actions when it comes to loving my children. Sadly, I fear, I spend too much time planting and watering on infertile soil so that my love for my children is stunted and does not grow as it should. Carolyn's words were a timely reminder of my responsibility to tenderly think about and appreciate my children for the blessing they are to my husband and myself.

Titus 2 Truths: To Love their Children Pt 2

We continue this week in our study in Titus 2 considering the ways in which older women are to teach the younger how to love their children. If you recall last week's post, Catriona explained that the greatest way we can love our children is to look out for their spiritual, eternal welfare.

As Catriona mentioned last week, it might seem strange that young women are to be taught to love their children. In fact, some might even raise an objection to this, arguing that love comes naturally to mothers. This is the case for many, and yet, there are times when we falsely interpret maternal love for other things. Sharon James in her book, God's Design for Women mentions a few examples:

• Fear of losing control: seen in being domineering
• Fear of sickness or accident: seen in being over-protective
• Fear of failure as a mother: seen in anger at the child's failure to reach mother's expectations
• Fear of losing a child's affection: seen in overindulgence and weak discipline

Sharon makes the point that we can think that we are loving our children, yet what really is needing addressed is an issue in our own lives. She goes onto add:

By contrast, genuine Godlike love is putting the interests of the other first. All the pressure on us now is to put 'number one' first. We are told that we should not do as our mothers did, and sacrifice ourselves for our children. Self-fulfilment is all important, and nothing, not even our children, should get in its way. But self-sacrifice is what bringing up the next generation is all about...Mothering (natural or spiritual) actually brings out the best in a woman, because it requires laying self aside.

So let's consider ways in which we can truly live sacrificially for our children and weed out false notions of love that are really only rooted in fear of failure, rejection and control .

Titus 2 Truths: To Love their Children Pt 1

As we move on in our study of Titus 2:3-5, we come to consider how we are called to love our children. Similar to loving our husbands, Paul says that this is something that must be taught to younger women, and again this concept can seem strange to us. Surely no women needs to learn how to love her children? Indeed, it amazed me how, when my two daughters were born, I immediately felt intense love for these two little girls whom I had only just met in person!

We can show our love for our children in many ways, from patiently getting up in the middle of the night when they are babies, to providing for their physical and material needs throughout their childhood. However, the most fundamental way we should show our love is by fostering a deep concern for their souls. This is perhaps obvious to the Christian mother and yet how easily this aspect of love is suppressed and pushed to the side by the day to day demands of caring for our children. J C Ryle argues in The Duties of Parents that our child's soul must be top of our list of considerations for their welfare:

Precious, no doubt, are these little ones in your eyes; but if you love them, think often of their souls. No interest should weigh with you so much as their eternal interests. No part of them should be so dear to you as that part which will never die. The world, with all its glory, shall pass away; the hills shall melt; the heavens shall be wrapped together as a scroll; the sun shall cease to shine. But the spirit which dwells in those little creatures, whom you love so well, shall outlive them all, and whether in happiness or misery (to speak as a man) will depend on you.

This is the thought that should be uppermost on your mind in all you do for your children. In every step you take about them, in every plan, and scheme, and arrangement that concerns them, do not leave out that mighty question, "How will this affect their souls?"

Soul love is the soul of all love. To pet and pamper and indulge your child, as if this world was all he had to look to, and this life the only season for happiness — to do this is not true love, but cruelty. It is treating him like some beast of the earth, which has but one world to look to, and nothing after death. It is hiding from him that grand truth, which he ought to be made to learn from his very infancy, — that the chief end of his life is the salvation of his soul.

A true Christian must be no slave to fashion, if he would train his child for heaven. He must not be content to do things merely because they are the custom of the world; to teach them and instruct them in certain ways, merely because it is usual; to allow them to read books of a questionable sort, merely because everybody else reads them; to let them form habits of a doubtful tendency, merely because they are the habits of the day. He must train with an eye to his children’s souls. He must not be ashamed to hear his training called singular and strange. What if it is? The time is short, — the fashion of this world passeth away. He that has trained his children for heaven, rather than for earth, — for God, rather than for man, — he is the parent that will be called wise at last.

So loving our children is hard work. It will sometimes hurt, as it is certainly tempting to take the easy road and pander to our children's wants to attain a bit of peace now. As they get older, it will be difficult to sometimes deny them the things the world values, but as Ryle says we must ask in everything "How will this affect their souls?". Let's determine in love not to hide from our children "that grand truth, which he ought to be made to learn from his very infancy, — that the chief end of his life is the salvation of his soul."

What do you tell your kids about Santa?(Part 2)

On Saturday I posted the reasons why my husband and I are not making a big deal of Santa Claus with our children. Clearly, though, the issue can't be avoided altogether as images of Santa are everywhere at this time of year and our kids will want to know who he is. So, we have decided to tell them a little about the origins of "Santa Claus" when they ask, something, I must admit, I knew very little about until recently.

St Nicholas was born in what is modern-day Turkey during the 3rd century A.D. He was raised as a Christian and when his parents both died of an epidemic, he used his inheritance to serve others. He was made Bishop of Myra and suffered persecution for his faith under the Emperor Diocletian, spending some time in prison. Notably, he attended the Council of Nicea in 325 A.D. and contributed to the statement of orthodox Christianity regarding the deity of Christ. He died in 343 A.D. Various legends sprang up around his life in the subsequent years including one where he secretly provided the dowries for three sisters who hoped to be married. He apparently tossed bags of gold through the open window of their house which landed in stockings hanging around the fireplace. This gave rise to the tradition of putting out stockings.

Some churches around the world celebrate "St Nicholas Day" on 6th December. This custom emigrated to the New World with Dutch colonists and took root in American culture. Over the next two hundred years, St Nicholas was transformed into the red-suited, jolly old man by the influence of artistic depictions of him and the poem "The night before Christmas" penned in 1823. During this time, he became known by the name "Santa Claus", from the Dutch "Sinterklaas", and he was associated with the celebration of Christmas.

The Santa we are most familiar with today bears little resemblance to the historical St Nicholas, and is actually hugely influenced by the Coca Cola corporation. They ran a thirty year Christmas advertising campaign commencing in the late 1930's where Santa reached the pinnacle of red-suited rotundity.

So in fact, Santa Claus is largely a creation of modern materialism, and I suspect St Nicholas would turn in his grave if he knew what had arisen from the legends surrounding his life. How ironic that a man who was involved in defending the doctrine of the deity of Christ from the attacks of Arius in the 4th century, has become a distraction from the real meaning of Christmas for so many.

What do you tell your kids about Santa? (Part 1)

At this time of year it is impossible to avoid images of Santa Claus as his cheery face smiles out from shop windows, Christmas cards and wrapping paper. In fact, for many children, Santa Claus is what Christmas is all about.

This year is the first Christmas that my daughter has been able to really understand what's going on and so we have had to think about what we would tell her about the bearded, red-suited old man she is seeing in every shop we go into. We have decided not to go down the road of telling her Santa is real and that he will bring her presents on Christmas Eve. I realise that some of you may be thinking we are kill-joys, so let me try to explain why we came to this decision. Incidentally, before I do, I'm not saying our way is the only right way, but I do think it is important that every Christian parent at least thinks about this issue, or we will just be swept along with the world's Christmas tide.

Our thinking on this issue was influenced in no small part by Noel Piper in her book Treasuring God in our Traditions. She talks about how she and her husband chose not to include Santa Claus in their Christmas festivities and gives several reasons why this was so. First, we tell our children many fairy stories but we don't expect them to believe that they are true. If we present Santa and the story of Christ's birth to our children together, it is very difficult for them to pick out the real truth from the fairy stories. She says:

Think how confusing it must be to a literal-thinking, uncritical pre-schooler. Santa is so much like what we're trying all year to teach our children about God. Look at the "attributes" of Santa:

• He's omniscient - he sees everything you do.
• He rewards you if you're good.
• He's omnipresent - at least, he can be everywhere in one night.
• He gives you good gifts.
• He's the most famous "old man in the sky" figure.

But at the deeper level that young children can't comprehend yet, he is not like God at all. For example, does Santa really care if we're bad or good? Think of the most awful kid you can remember. Did he or she ever not get gifts from Santa? What about Santa's spying and then rewarding you if you're good enough? That's not the way God operates. He gave us his gift- his Son- even though we weren't good enough at all.

While in the grand scheme of things, it may seem like a bit of harmless fun, part of the "magic of childhood", the "Santa brand" has become a multi-million pound industry. I did a Google search on the term Santa and it threw up a number of sites encouraging you to part with your money, so that your children can receive a letter from Santa. You supply them with personal information about your family and they will send your child a letter supposedly from Santa. They can also receive a phone call or a text message. For the sum of nearly £20, they would also be sent chocolates and some "snow from the North Pole"!

Noel Piper gives other reasons why promoting Santa Claus may not be helpful:

I think children are glad to realise that their parents, who live with them all year and know all the worst things about them, still show their love at Christmas. Isn't that better than a funny, old make-believe man who drops in just once a year?...Knowing that their Christmas gifts comes from the people they love, rather than from a bottomless sack, can help diminish the "I-want-this, give-me-that" syndrome.

So if not Santa, then what? You can't avoid telling your children something about him and we have decided to tell Eilidh a bit about the historical origins of Santa Claus instead. I'll post again on Monday and fill you in on who St Nicholas actually was.

A Legacy of Greatness

I've just finished reading C.J. Mahaney's book Humility: True Greatness. The book is divided into three sections. Part one deals with the battle of humility versus pride, part two with our Savior and the secret of true greatness and part three with the practice of true humility. I particularly found the third part of the book very practical offering ways in which we can cultivate and practice humility in every area of our lives.

As a mother of two, (and with a third on the way) much of my life revolves around the caring and rearing of my children. So how can I cultivate humility with regard to my children? Mahaney's chapter, "A Legacy of True Greatness" looks at the role of humility in parenting. I found this tremendously insightful, and needless to say challenging. One thing struck me in particular: what are my ambitions for my children and does humility play a role in my ideal for their lives?

Mahaney asks:

Are any of your ambitions for your child more important to you than their cultivation of humility and servanthood - the basis for true greatness as biblically defined? Are any of these ambitions more important to you than their learning to serve others for the glory of God? In other words, are you more interested in temporal recognition for your child than you are in his eternal reward? Ultimately, that is what parenting is mostly about - it's about preparing our children for the final day.

As I began to think about this, I was once again reminded of the way in which God himself exemplifies an 'ambition for humility'. Christmas is a wonderful time in which we can meditate on the coming of Christ. The will of the Father was that his Son would set aside splendour and glory to be born of a virgin, to be wrapped in strips of cloth and placed in an animlas feeding trough. And yet, such humility did not end with the beginning of our saviour's life, but encompassed from the beginning of time the salvation plan of God.

We read in Isaiah some remarkable words, telling us of the Father's plan of humility, obedience, and suffering for his Son, so that we might know peace with God and that Christ would be exalted above all, to the glory of God the Father. Meditate on these words, and as you gather with family and friends over this Christmas period, encourage and challenge each other to take seriously the call to prepare our children for true greatness.

"Yet it was the Lord's will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the Lord makes his life a guilt offering, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand. After the suffering of his soul, he will see the light of life and be satisfied." Isaiah 53:10-11

Jesse Tree

Catriona posted on Friday about Christmas traditions and invited our readers to let us know of any Christmas tradtions they have. Today I learnt of one such tradition that I never knew about. Jesse Trees.

The Jesse Tree is named from Isaiah 11:1: "A shoot will spring forth from the stump of Jesse, and a branch out of his roots." It is a way to tell the story of God in the Old Testament, and to connect the Advent Season with the faithfulness of God across 4,000 years of history.

Amanda, one of our readers wrote:

Every day in Advent we hang a symbol on the tree and run through the bible story from creation (sun), the fall (apple) and the flood (rainbow) right up to the birth of Christ (manger scene) with lots in between... The kids love to hang up the decorations and we use them to help them to learn a simple bible overview.

This is a fantastic idea. Amanda mentions that she uses the Jesse Tree pattern from Disciplines of a Godly Family by Kent & Barbara Hughes. However, there are lots of ideas on the web - here is one site I found giving all the information you need to know.