(I'm Not Your) Scapegoat

Let's be honest for a minute. Leading is hard. Sometimes impossibly difficult to the point that despite our best efforts, we simply don't know what to do in the moment. When we're dealing with a crisis, or a struggling team member, or external pressure, we can fall into the trap of identifying someone as the source of our troubles versus understanding all of the facts first.

Rookies Are Obvious
This behavior happens most commonly when new leaders (from supervisor to CEO) are not comfortable handling confrontation. These well-intended folks typically do not understand that because they are uncomfortable with a situation, it does not mean they are supposed to rush to judgement simply to make themselves feel better. 

These are usually the same leaders that are passionate about culture, and teamwork, and advocating for an environment that is supportive, open and innovative. Here's the catch...because they are not willing to push themselves into areas where they can manage their discomfort, they end up looking foolish.

Consequences
Leading the way to make changes for the better is admirable. However, avoiding the hard work necessary to understand issues before making judgements; getting (more) comfortable dealing with perceived problems slowly and methodically; and ensuring that the messages delivered to the team are well thought out and clear are absolutely essential.

Here's why...no one stays if the leadership team of an organization behaves like a bunch of rookies.

How About You
What new leaders are struggling in your company? Who needs your coaching and support; and, who needs some candid feedback about how they are really perceived? It's up to us as leaders to stand alone and make it happen.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.



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Power, Transparency and Culture

Culture change is an interesting concept. Typically driven by a desire to become a world class organization, the core tenets of a major culture change must include the willingness of senior leaders to be humble, transparent in their decisions, and be unafraid to confront those that are resistant to change.

Humility Is Hard
The interplay between power and humility is a daily struggle for many leaders. Finding a way to appreciate the authority they have, while simultaneously doing everything possible to give that power away (you've heard of delegation, right?) is simply too difficult for some leaders.

The perception that the leader, particularly a newer leader who suddenly has more power than ever before, is making decisions without including others because they know best is dangerous. The leader may be correct in their ideas, however the delivery is so critical to achieve buy-in from those affected that simply making proclamations from on-high engenders no loyalty. After all...most leaders like loyalty among their teams, right? 

Transparency - Can You See It?
One of the easiest ways to achieve culture change is to be open about why decisions are being made. This sounds embarrassingly simple, yet time and time again decisions are made but the rationale for those decisions is kept close to the vest. Why? 

Is there a fear that by explaining why certain things are happening in an organization the leader will open to criticism? Is that so bad? Don't we all perform better when there is healthy dialogue, constructive feedback, and improved decisions emerge?

Confrontation Is For the Real Leaders
The trap I see so many leaders fall into however is exercising their authority in the absence of sharing why decisions are made. Their credibility quickly erodes. Sadly, they don't realize this is even happening because of their painfully obvious fear of confrontation. How in the world can anyone lead and do so from behind closed doors; or worse, through sending their team to deliver messages that should be delivered by them in the first place?

Confrontation is not easy...it is not fun...and it is absolutely required if one is to be an effective leader that builds trust.

Trust.

How About You
Is building trust on your radar screen? If so, you'll need to push yourself outside your comfort zone of power. Otherwise, you'll simply be the hamster on the spinning wheel of power, transparency, and culture change dreams.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.



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Scorcher

I was in a meeting recently and the topic of conversation shifted to what tools should be put in place in order for leaders to hold their employees accountable.

We discussed the importance of our corporate culture, the progress we were making to achieve a new vision for that culture, and how we might support our leaders to move our company forward. What struck me however was the strong feeling among the team that managers are not able to effectively hold employees accountable unless they have a tool that tells them to do so.

What? Wait a minute. Since when do pieces of paper dictate effective leadership behaviors?

Since never, that's when. 

Leaders Are Afraid

Working in human resources for so long has given me a unique perspective that most operations  leaders don't see; that is, leaders are afraid to confront employees who misbehave. There, I said it. You can disagree, but you will be wrong. 

Leaders are afraid.

In HR we see this regularly....the difficult employee who blazes a trail of manipulation and morale killing behaviors across the department but is not held accountable in a timely manner. I fondly refer to this type of employee as the "Scorcher." I think it is a fitting label.

The problem is that many leaders are unwilling to hold the Scorcher accountable because they lack the confidence necessary to do their job in difficult situations. There, I said that too.

It's not a character flaw of the leader; in fact, most leaders want to do the right thing. Unfortunately they usually have not reached out to the team that can help them gain that confidence and follow through (read here --> the Human Resources team!) 

Expectations Are Important

Now let's go back to the discussion of leadership tools. While I believe it is absolutely essential for behavioral expectations to be communicated and committed to across the company; I do not believe a piece of paper is the tipping point that separates effective leadership from the  morass of mediocre leaders.

People drive change. Paper kills trees. There is a big difference. 

How About You

Who is the Scorcher in your organization? Have you helped a struggling leader gain the confidence necessary to deal with those issues? It's our job to do so. Remember, the Scorcher will burn up that piece of paper in an instant if their leader doesn't step up and lead the way.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Battering Ram

Sometimes people have to be the battering ram. It's usually us, right? Our colleagues typically aren't up for the challenge. That's okay, I guess. Human Resources can handle it. Or at least we're supposed to. It's as if we operate differently than the other "more caring and sensitive" leaders out there.

Seriously? Since when did human resources leaders stop having feelings? It would be more accurate to say that human resources leaders are the ones that actually have the courage and skills to be the battering ram. The others are simply too soft to handle it (read here --> can't get respect from their teams because they won't address the tough employee issues.)

Too harsh? Maybe.

Crazy thought? No way. 

Ramming Speed

There is a certain intensity that takes over during times of confrontation. Regardless of the planning, documentation, scripting, and walk-throughs, one can never completely be ready for the moment.

Why? Because there is another human being involved who isn't going to follow "your" script, or appreciate your point of view (which is typically why they are in this mess to begin with.)

Few leaders are comfortable heading into that storm. It is much easier to have "HR do the talking" during those moments, right? 

We can handle the storm...it's one of our strengths. 

Ram Tough

Once the wild ride of the moment is over, and "thank you, I could never do your job" has been proclaimed as if it affords the leader a  get-out-of-jail-free card to actually lead, it is time to do what?

What happens for the HR professional who just butted heads over and over again all in the name of doing the right thing, and making sure it was done well?

Nothing, usually. We're typically checking our iPhone to see what meeting is next. I don't think that is what should happen though. 

How About You

How do you process after you've played the role of battering ram? Is it "no big deal" or is it something much more intense that you need to spend a few minutes working through? Usually we don't have others in our organizations who play our exact role to reach out to and debrief. So if you need to, reach out to me...I'll help.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Playing the Race Card

I have a couple of hot buttons in my life. Here's the list:

- racism

- discrimination against those different than you (for any reason)

- violence against women and children

- racism

Racism gets two votes because not only is it one of the most cowardly and disgusting belief systems I've ever encountered; but it also goes against the very core of what being a decent human being is all about.

Are you with me so far?

 

Racism Is Not A Card Game

One of the phrases I hear over and over has to do with one's ability to "play" some sort of mysterious "race card."

What?

It seems to me that each time this phrase is used it is by someone who is trying to attack a minority for raising a legitimate issue; but God forbid it has something to do with racism. We certainly can't talk about that! Right?

"Would someone please explain to me why we aren't comfortable talking about racism for what it is; and instead feel the need to deflect our inability to confront the bigots among us and degrade the issue to a common game of cards?"

What?

What the hell is going on here? Avoidance, that's what. Fear of speaking the truth, that's what. The inability to step up and confront racism when its staring us in the face, that's what. Whose job is it to step up anyway? In your work life human resources leadership better be ready to drop the gloves instantly.

We all have options. Some of them are easy. The easiest one is called silence. Silence equals endorsement. Silence means you are actively supporting racism.

Silence means you are now the racist. How does that sound in your head?

Another Option

We have another option too. We can do something. We can stop the bigots in their tracks and expose them for the foolish, evil, radicals they are. All we have to do is speak up. You see once we raise our voice two things immediately happen:

- everyone will know exactly what you stand for

- everyone will know exactly what the racist stands for

Are you still with me?

How About You

Stop playing cards. Start confronting racism. If you're not sure what to do, call me and I'll help. It can be scary when you're the only one in the room doing the right thing. I know. But in the words of Dr. King: "the time is always right, to do what's right." 

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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"Not It!"

As a child my friends and I played "tag." It was a simple game where one person was "it" and the others ran around trying not to get tagged. If you were caught you were now "it." The game always started the same way, everyone involved shouted out "Not It!" so they could avoid the punishment of being the one.

The punishment of being the one.

Don't Say It
One of the things that frustrates me is the avoidance strategy many leaders use when it comes time to confront someone. Why is that so difficult? With so many employees watching our behavior, why would we of all groups be quick to figuratively (or literally) shout "Not It!"? What message does that send? It's not a good one my friends.

"If we didn't want to do the difficult work, we never should have accepted the responsibility of a leadership position in the first place. Only handling the easy stuff is a pathetic cop out."

Be The One

The greatest part of leadership roles, to me, is the opportunity to make things better. Whether it is something simple like adjusting an existing process (which isn't always so simple!) to pushing through major cultural changes, it is the leadership that has the authority to make it happen.

Yes, the input of the team around you is essential, but they can not authorize the change, the leaders have that privilege. When leaders step away from one of their primary responsibilities and avoid addressing the tough issues, the team around them loses respect and trust in that leader.

We need to be the one that others want to work for, not the one others run to fill out a transfer form to get away from.

How About You

When was the last time you said "Not It!"? Think hard about it. Was it back when you were seven years old; or, was it more recent than that...perhaps when that difficult issue came up and you stayed quiet on the sidelines? I wonder who else noticed?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.



pic courtesy of researchrockstar

Retaliation Hurts

It’s become part of my standard message.  Since I’m fortunate enough to be a Human Resources professional (and I mean that very sincerely), I’ve had ample opportunities over the years to investigate allegations of leadership retaliation against their own employees.  I tell them that they “simply can not retaliate against their employees for raising concerns” no matter how disappointed they are that they are in this situation. 

Unfortunately I’ve seen the pain in the faces of their employees when they are back in my office, only this time it’s not about the original issue => it’s about how their leader retaliated against them for raising that original issue.

I see the disappointment, the frustration and the fear. 

Coming to You Made Things Worse

This is perhaps the worst thing we can hear in Human Resources.  The worst thing that is, unless we’re willing to do something about it.  Allowing leaders to “get away with” retaliation is a credibility-killer.  But how does the motivated HR pro go about re-addressing behavior with a leader that has already been spoken to, except now the issue of retaliation has to be added into the mix?  Any takers for this assignment?

Colleagues Do Not Equal Friends

I’ve been blessed throughout my career to develop very close relationships with those that I work with, whether they were members of my team or peers.  For some reason they tolerated me and for that I am grateful.  But one thing that became clear early on was that my colleagues are not, and I would submit can not truly be your “friends.” 

I don’t mean work-friends; I mean the kind of friend that you rely on when you are at your absolute worst.  The kind of friend who you treat poorly in a weak moment, and you wake up the next morning to find them calling to make sure you’re okay.  That type of friend isn’t typically the same person you’ll be developing a corrective action plan to share with the corporate office during the next monthly budget review.

Understanding Power

So when one of these “work-friends” stumbles and retaliates against their team it’s time for HR to step up.  In my world stepping up equates with confrontation.  Not everyone is comfortable with the notion of confrontation.  It’s easier to “let things settle down” or to “let the adults involved work this out.”  That’s bull.  If they could work it out they would, but it is absolutely impossible for one simple reason.  The leader holds the power, and the employee who feels they have been retaliated against does not.  They are going to tell the leader whatever they feel is necessary to make the bad behavior stop.  Period. 

"This is not rocket science, this is survival in the workplace."

I continue to be amazed that leaders fail to recognize this power differential.  Their desire to be “liked” by their employees produces a major blind spot that results in the response of “we’ve worked it all out, and everything is fine now.”  Really?  Says who?  For those leaders that justify their inappropriate behavior because they don’t want to hear that they aren’t perfect are heading down a slippery slope.  A slope they will eventually slide all the way down to the bottom and crash and burn.

How About You

What do you do when you’re made aware of  retaliation?  Is it time to grab the nearest broom and rug and start sweeping?  Or, is time for a gut-check and to remember exactly what you’re being paid to do?  Those employees are counting on you.

I’d love to hear from you.

No Excuses.


pics courtesy of egmnblog and athnan

 

Confrontation - No Hyperventilating Allowed

Allow me a moment of self-disclosure.  I love confrontation.  I don't just like it, or accept it, or work through it when I have to.  I love it.  I don't know if that is good or bad, but if I'm going to be honest with myself, I need to admit that I love it.  But isn't that something we all are supposed to love to some degree or another, particularly in HR leadership roles?  Who else is going to be strong and guide others through difficult times?


WELCOME TO AVOIDANCE-LAND


I am stunned at the sheer volume of advice, training courses, and expert pundents who try desperately to help us avoid confrontation and it's "ill effects."  Really?  Whatever happened to actually having your blood pressure go up a bit because you had to deal with something important?  Why is it wrong to feel nervous when you know you're going into a tense meeting?  We're supposed to get fired up!  Where is the passion for our work?  Have we become so fearful of failure that we are no longer willing to step up?  I pray that is not true.


TAKE THE NEXT STEP


I certainly appreciate the impact stress can have on us in the workplace, and discussed it here previously. However, I submit that the next step for leaders is not to program ourselves to avoid confrontation and the stress it may bring; but rather, to embrace it.  That's right.  Take advantage of the opportunity to grow in your leadership practice and stop avoiding those moments when you know confrontation is required.


PAPER OR PLASTIC


Merriam-Webster offers a quick and unexpected operational definition of confrontation - a face-to-face meeting.  Wow.  That doesn't sound painful at all, does it?  The good news about confronting others is that you won't die, and neither will they.  So it's time for us to get on with it and lead.  


Remember, the other employees are watching very closely.  Are we able to handle the difficult moments as well as the smooth ones?  Or, are we flustered, breathing deeply into a paper bag, and hoping the issue will just "go away?"




HOW ABOUT YOU 


Just because I love confrontation, doesn't mean it's easy.  In fact, it's one of the most challenging issues I deal with in my work.  But I have to do it, and I have to do it well.  How do you deal with confrontation?  Are you charging ahead, or do you reach for the stash of paper bags under your desk?

I'd love to hear from you.


No Excuses.






pic courtesy of http://www.123rf.com/photo_888657