Whelmed

I’m not a big fan of leaders who do not inspire others. That may not be fair; but candidly, I do not care. Serving as a leader, at least to me, requires some level of connection to the broader team (peers, superiors, subordinates) beyond simple authority.

That connection signals you are not only working hard, but you have something engaging about your leadership style that shows others around you that you are worth paying attention to…and following.

Being knowledgeable is obviously important, but is that the most important part of effective leadership? Maybe not. The best leaders I’ve worked for had a fire inside. They made me want to do more, take on more projects, stretch myself, and think bigger about my future. Imagine if everyone you worked with felt the same way? How would your organization perform?

We’ve all worked with leaders who are decent people, know generally what to do and how to do it, yet there is something missing. They could easily be one of a thousand other nondescript leaders.

They are…whelming.

Don’t be them. Find your voice. Get fired up about your people…your organization…your path forward.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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A Greatness Undone

...faith and work and charity and healthy eating and being productive and working out and caring for everyone and reading and listening and learning and growing and mentoring and leading and pushing and resting and balancing and reaching out and always being there...

Do you sometimes feel as if you've lost your greatness? As I think about all of the things I tell myself that I'm supposed to be and do and think...I wonder if mine has slipped away?

You see, we all have our own kind of greatness. It's in there. Most of time it's on display and we don't even know it.

Lately, though. Well...you know. The world changed up its cadence pretty quickly, and now we have to adjust.

So.

Adjust.

No, we don't have any rules on how to adjust the right way. We don't need them. We don't have a playbook on what is proper and what isn't. We don't need one.

We just need to remember our greatness...

...and show it.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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title inspiration

Finding A Way

All things considered, life is pretty easy, don't you think?

Of course it isn't. Sometimes it's hard as hell.

Pressure
I don't know about you, but I feel a tremendous amount of pressure in my life. Some is self-inflicted, some is based on the nature of the work I do, and some is just unnecessary. 

But it's there. Every day.

Am I doing a good enough job at my firm? Am I maintaining important clients? Am I bringing in enough new ones to take care of our team and hire new employees as we grow? Have I addressed every single issue that has been thrown my way?

Sometimes it feels like a bit too much. Often times it feels like...well...a bit too much.

Pain
Then there's that other emotion...the one that surpasses pressure, whether it's in our professional lives or our personal ones. You know this one too...it's the disappointment when we stumble. It's the hurt when we make a mistake that is often huge in our minds, but isn't quite that big in reality. It's letting someone down when we really never intended to do so.

Resilience
Amongst all of these swirling feelings, we find something. It's hard to describe and nearly impossible to quantify. Yet, it's there. We can feel this one too. It's our ability to pull from somewhere deep inside and marshal onward. Often times with unexpected confidence.

Where did that come from? Why didn't it make an appearance at the beginning of this journey instead of at the perceived low point?

How About You
How do you 'handle' it all? Is it easy; or, do you find yourself in a dark place that does not have a clear path out.

Until it does.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Cold Sweat

You're asked a question in a big meeting and your mind goes blank.

You completely forgot to follow up on an issue and the information is due in 5 minutes.

You realize you are in over your head with an assignment and have no idea where to turn...paralysis sets in...and your credibility begins to evaporate.

Keep Breathing
Now before you do something rash like quit your job because you don't think you'll be popular anymore and won't have any 'friends' at work consider these points:

- you're not going to die because you've hit a rough patch

- you actually can do the work if you remove some of that self-talk clutter from your mind and start attacking the issue one little step at a time

- you can reach out to your colleagues for help...that's what real colleagues do...they help each other

Now Focus
Once the wave of anxiety has washed over you...and you've decided that your entire career is over and there is no hope for you professionally...

...get your head back on straight and start building your plan.

What needs to be addressed immediately? Write it down. Map out the deadlines and the resources you'll need to get there. 

Who can help you? Who also has a vested interest in this issue being executed successfully?

Find those people. Talk with them. Write everything down.

Breath Again
Think about how your mind has shifted. You have now documented a preliminary action plan, have connected with important internal resources to get the necessary results, and most importantly, are now back in charge.

This can not be overstated. Your mood will change. Your confidence level will change. And, by the way, the results will change dramatically from where you started.

Breath.
Focus.
Execute.

How About You
Is it going to be hard sometimes? Yes. Is it going to be embarrassing sometimes? Yes. Is it going to be worth it? Absolutely.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Standing In the Middle of a Time of Worry

Long title, I know. It's a line from a song that is pretty cool. But it speaks to something so pervasive in the workplace (and outside the workplace too.)

The weight of...everything.

So much to accomplish. 
So many projects. 
So many needs for the right talent doing the right things at the right time.

...and so much extra anxiety because we're always in CYA mode.

Friends, this is simply exhausting.

A New Way
I think a lot about pressure. The pressure that executive leadership brings. The pressure to deliver results for the companies that hire us. The pressure to grow my company. Oh, and also to stay on top of every facet of my personal life as well.

No big deal, right?

If we're constantly thinking about being the best we can be, and trying to follow the arcane school of thought that we should just "pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and handle everything alone" we're way off-base.

Life is not an individual journey.

So, what options do we have?

Finding Center
For me, it's been a long process. Finding my way back to a set of values and beliefs that provides a completely new sense of who am I, the power I have to make a difference, and the support that is all around me has been nothing short of profound.

It's been a return to my core values, if you will. A renewed sense of something larger than me, all around me, that fills me with peace and strength...confidence and optimism.

When you find that "center" in your life, it means that you...
- trust it
- value it
- believe in it
- have faith in it

...and thrive.

How About You
Have you lost your "center?" It's easy to do. With our frenetic pace, it's no wonder we lose sight of it from time to time. Perhaps today is good day to pause, reflect, and reconnect with what is most important?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Ruthlessly Eliminate Hurry

The pace. 

My pace...the hectic, busy, sometimes chaotic whirlwind of life can be a bit much at times. Easy to complain about, right? And also, easy to be thankful for in a world with so much pressure. 

Something More
Amidst the noise, deadlines, expectations and overloaded calendars is something else waiting for us. However, we often don't notice this opportunity because we're always "in a hurry."

When we find ourselves asking if all of this craziness is worth it, I wonder if we also ask how we might offer ourselves in a different way? 

That's right. I'm talking about exploring new ways to contribute.

Stop and Listen
Before we can understand how we might contribute beyond our "busy day full of responsibilities" we must first stop. Simply stop for a few moments, and listen. 

What is your heart calling you to do? 

Who has been whispering in your ear about making a change and adding value in ways you had not previously considered?

How will you eliminate the "hurry" in your life, so you can focus on the most important things? New things? Life-changing things?

How About You
Investing a few moments...or a few hours...to just stop and listen could have a profound effect on you, and those around you. 

Do you have the courage to even give it a try; or, will you quickly glance at your To Do List and hurry along to the next task?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Pulling a Fast One

NEWSFLASH! - "I'm trying my best!"

In My Head

Despite what I think sometimes...

Despite what others want me to be...

Despite the pressure I'm under to be everything for everyone...

Despite the self-talk that occasionally tries to 'go negative'...

Despite the change in the world that is bad...

Despite my blind spots that miss all of the good things in the world...

Despite what I thought should happen...

Despite my failings...

Powering Through

So, instead I think differently..

So, instead I accept that I can not be 'that' person...

So, instead I accept the pressure and go for it anyway...

So, instead I battle my self-talk, and win the argument...

So, instead I take action against the bad...

So, instead I challenge myself to see more clearly...

So, instead I embrace what is happening...

So, instead I accept that I will struggle, and improve...

How About You

What do your battles look like...sound like...feel like? Even though I am part of an amazing community, there is always the internal struggle that is part of what makes each of us unique, and crazy, and special all at the same time.

Sometimes it can feel as if life has pulled a fast one on us. But the reality is that life is doing exactly what it is supposed to do. All we have to do is...try our best. 

Life is good!

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

Dual Existence

The world of work presents a ton of challenges. 

How do I look? 

How do I sound? 

Am I prepared? 

Did I cover every potential issue? 

Did my slide deck work well? 

Did I say too much? 

Did I say too little? 

What do people really think of my work? 

Work can be exhausting...and I'm not even talking about doing the actual work.

Professional Persona

After so many years in traditional conservative corporate environments I fully appreciate the series of questions above. My colleagues and I literally worried about this stuff day after day after day.

While it's important to be prepared and present well, I've discovered as I look back that the snap judgments that abound in those settings are ridiculous.

Why in the world would we judge someone based on one presentation? Why is it that an obsession with playing office politics is more important than pushing boundaries, challenging old-school thinking, and constantly taking risks to help the organization break through to a whole new level.

By the way...organizations often herald their cultures, but rarely back up that rhetoric by rewarding risk takers. The risk-takers are the first ones ostracized and targeted for retaliation because "they are no longer a good fit."

People are not shoes. We can be more flexible on "fit" with human beings.

Life Balance

I've (finally) recognized that I can not honestly separate who I am professionally from the person I am outside of work. Work/Life balance is a fallacy. For me it is simply about life balance.

I've integrated my work, music, fitness, social media, blogging, representing my amazing company and time with family and friends all into one wild ride.

The days of a dual existence are over for me. It is only about living my life to the absolute fullest every minute of every day. It's about pushing myself...trying new things...failing occasionally...and finding new ways to hustle.

How About You

Are you still leading two lives? How does that feel? For me, it was an exhausting struggle that ultimately no longer made sense. Professionalism will always be required...just don't sell out and become something you're not. 

The personal side of you is awesome...make sure you let that side show too.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

As I Lay Dying

Have you every felt completely stuck in your work? You know the feeling...projects are not on track the way they should be...leaders are doing lots of talking but very little leading...and it looks like deadlines are going to be missed.

So many issues hitting all at once.

The Cycle of Doubt
I would be lying if I told you I didn't suffer from a cycle of doubt every once in a while. First comes a series of challenges that are quickly followed by the pressure and frustration of the work not being executed the way it should.

I hate that.

Next is that sense of desperation as the pieces seem to be spilling out everywhere without any coordinated plan that is actually being managed. Many leaders tout their own skill set, but very few actually execute effectively. 

Titles do not equal skills. Ever.

The Cycle of Success
Hitting a low point every once in while does have it's advantages, although I would prefer never to get there myself.

Renewed Focus
Sometimes we need to simply change the way we frame our desperate situation. Consider the low point you're feeling as the laser focus you needed to drive forward. The issues are clear...now focus exclusively on those issues. As you begin to resolve them one by one you will feel not only a sense of satisfaction, but a sense of real control.

Energy
Have you ever noticed that when things start to go well you feel even more enthusiastic about the work you're doing? Progress brings with it a new infusion of energy. Embrace that adrenaline rush and keep pushing.

Work
Now it's time to leverage your focus and energy and build a reasonable plan...and for God's sake execute that plan.

Results
As your hard work pays off be sure to recognize the results you and your team are achieving. Part of every plan should be a few moments to formally acknowledge the successes along the way.

How About You
You're not laying there dying. You are a beast. Get the hell up, dust yourself off, and go kick ass.

Now.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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The Wonders At Your Feet

There are times when we believe we have built the perfect team. We convince ourselves that once those final few pieces fall into place all will be right in our world of work. We so desperately want things to be smooth and steady.

But that's not how work happens.

So Much To Do
For any of you that have glanced at my blog over the years you know I am a big fan of lists. When I say lists, I mean digital lists. (Post it notes and stacks of paper are so 1985.) The upside of using lists for everything in your life means you're super organized. The downside is that you can feel pretty overwhelmed at times.

Don't let the lists become your world. They are a tool...they are not the boss of you! They are a system to help you keep your priorities moving in the right direction. They are an asset, so stop thinking about them as a daily liability.

Teams Are Stronger Than You Think
When we realize some of our team members are struggling, and combine that with our never ending task list we can feel like throwing in the towel.

However, all is not lost. Nor is the road ahead as bumpy as we may think. Challenge yourself to do the following:

- identify and recognize the strong players on your team and what they've done to overcome adversity, rise up and meet challenges, and push themselves to a new level

- summarize the huge amount of work that you and your team have completed in the last six months

- push those who are lagging behind very, very hard

You Are Stronger Than You Think Too
Some days the cumulative weight of pressure at work can bring us to our knees. But today is not one of those days. 

Your focus, commitment to world-class work, and unwavering intolerance for anything less than exceptional performance  has helped you get this far, and it will power you ahead into the future.

Do not lose sight of the impact you have on the workplace, or on the lives of those around you.

How About You
Are you looking at the days ahead with a sense of loathing; or, have you decided to take a look around and appreciate the wonders that have been lurking just beneath the surface? Now is the time to keep pushing, and to keep making the difference you make every day.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Living A Fantasy

So I’ve been thinking about how the pieces of my world fit together. The fantasy I cling to is that I have it all figured out. Fantasies are rarely accurate though...

Fantasy #1 - Work

Over the years I've continued to bring a high degree of energy and enthusiasm to my work. I get fired up about the projects I’m leading, the clients I work with, and the colleagues that make it all so special. Helping organizations move from their same-old-comfort-zone into a contemporary power house is absolutely terrific.

But not all of the work is a utopian nine to five dream come true. There are unexpected roadblocks, technology challenges, political hand grenades that get tossed from out of nowhere, and the simple reality that change often scares the old guard to death (read here —> too threatening to their power.)

Fantasy #2 - Personal

I also bring a high degree of energy to my personal life. I don’t seem to have much of an “off switch” when it comes to my world. Each day is an opportunity to push harder than the last…to challenge myself to be better…and to squeeze in one more workout when I’m feeling worn out. 

From the outside it probably looks like I’m in high gear every minute…and I guess for the most part I am. But that doesn’t mean all of those smiles, positive outlooks, and loud jokes equate with internal peace. Peace can be an elusive target.

Maybe there really is more to each of us than what we show on the outside?

Beyond the Fantasies

So how do we find the balance point? When does the line between fantasy and reality come into view? The challenge of embracing a fantasy mindset, for me anyway, is to keep myself focused on how I want to role model behavior for those around me. A positive attitude and nonstop enthusiasm go a long way publicly (and a long way privately too.)

Conversely, how do we integrate all of the other issues swimming around inside our heads (and hearts) and maintain the high octane leader persona everyone expects?

How About You

Don’t stop striving to make your fantasies a reality. I don’t care how hard it gets. My energy, enthusiasm, and dreams about the future fuel me at every step. What fuels you?

I’d love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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I've Been Led Astray

It's funny how our lives develop over time. Sometimes we get caught up in the culture of organizations as if they represent all of society. Or we shift our energies into specific people who end up becoming the filter through which we see the world around us. Maybe we convince ourselves we're supposed to be 'something in particular' that in turn impacts our behavior.

Most of the time we don't realize it's happening, because the flow of our lives naturally finds these paths, people, and ways of thinking.

Being Led
Do we invest the time to evaluate where we are on our journey? Is the crush of deadlines, political posturing and the VIPs in our lives taking over? When you add the required hustle of career, family, performance and pressure to be perfect do we feel lost? Oh yes, and we need to remember to have fun with our work too (which I do!) With so much happening should we ask ourselves if we've lost sight of...well...ourselves?

Taking a few moments to validate which path we're on is a worthwhile timeout. Are we being led? If so, are we cool with that or is the corporate/personal/societal pressure we're feeling moving us down a path that doesn't make sense any longer?

Lead the Way
It's time to focus. The need to get completely organized (at least for me) is essential if we are going to determine what is best. I'm quite sure I don't have the all answers, but I do know that without critically evaluating how we're living our lives we will never be able to determine if we're on the right path.

Organization for me is one of the keys to solving this riddle. When life is moving so fast and the challenges are coming from all angles, there is no time (or tolerance) for being flustered and overwhelmed. Life keeps pushing...people keep pushing...which means we must be able to respond in the moment. We no longer have a choice because the rules of life have changed, and we need to be strong enough to play by them.

How About You
It's time to give yourself the freedom to decide whether all of the issues in your world align with who you are as a person, as a leader, and as a difference-maker. Is something or someone standing in the way of where you should be? If so, what are you going to do about it?

Life is about choices. Let's make some good ones and lead the way.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.


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(I'm Not Your) Scapegoat

Let's be honest for a minute. Leading is hard. Sometimes impossibly difficult to the point that despite our best efforts, we simply don't know what to do in the moment. When we're dealing with a crisis, or a struggling team member, or external pressure, we can fall into the trap of identifying someone as the source of our troubles versus understanding all of the facts first.

Rookies Are Obvious
This behavior happens most commonly when new leaders (from supervisor to CEO) are not comfortable handling confrontation. These well-intended folks typically do not understand that because they are uncomfortable with a situation, it does not mean they are supposed to rush to judgement simply to make themselves feel better. 

These are usually the same leaders that are passionate about culture, and teamwork, and advocating for an environment that is supportive, open and innovative. Here's the catch...because they are not willing to push themselves into areas where they can manage their discomfort, they end up looking foolish.

Consequences
Leading the way to make changes for the better is admirable. However, avoiding the hard work necessary to understand issues before making judgements; getting (more) comfortable dealing with perceived problems slowly and methodically; and ensuring that the messages delivered to the team are well thought out and clear are absolutely essential.

Here's why...no one stays if the leadership team of an organization behaves like a bunch of rookies.

How About You
What new leaders are struggling in your company? Who needs your coaching and support; and, who needs some candid feedback about how they are really perceived? It's up to us as leaders to stand alone and make it happen.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.



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Mythical Beings

I've come across hundreds of leaders in my lifetime. Many of them are so weak and ineffective it's made me wonder how they ever landed their job. 

Or any job. 

Ever.

Fantasy
What does the ideal leader look like anyway? Are they supposed to know everything...literally everything about the business? Should they be calm in every situation? 

When it comes to decision-making, they are the ones that are supposed to have it all figured out. They are the people we all lean on when the pressure gets too intense. They are always there for the rest of us.

But who is there for them?

I'm afraid that the vision of what a leader should be has outpaced what the world will ever allow. Honestly, is anyone that good? 

Or, is there an opportunity for contemporary leaders to recognize that through relying on one another...building a small group of energized yet humble colleagues working toward a common vision...that something special can be achieved?

Reality
One of my favorite phrases in the office is to "keep it real." I say this because I don't like getting caught in the world of jargon, or HR-speak, or whatever the lingo is in the industry where I'm working.

Real people...which is everyone by the way...like real talk. Not corporate speak, or fast-talking empty suites that can't execute on anything meaningful. Maybe it's time we stop expecting leaders to have all the answers, and allow them the freedom to engage everyone on the team to help build something special?

How About You
It turns out I've aspired to be one of those mythical beings for a long time. I've experienced the pressure to be perfect in every situation. I've felt embarrassed when I stumbled (imagine that...I'm human after all.) Leadership is a team sport...and that's not a myth at all.

I'd love to hear from you.


No Excuses.



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I Don't Wanna Be Me

Have you ever taken a step back from your current role and compared it to what you thought you would be doing at this point? What were you expecting? Was it a certain title...or salary...or span of control? How close are you to achieving that vision?

For many...that vision is a cruel reminder of what their career is not. That can really hurt.

Wallow

When those feelings get churned up we often try to suppress them as quickly as possible. After all, we're professionals! Being under control is a hallmark of our leadership skill set. Except the suppression strategy is not real. Feeling disappointment...frustration...and even some bitterness is normal. Don't bury those feelings, and please don't disregard them in some sort of artificial cleansing exercise.

Wallow in the pain. Let it consume you. Allow your honest feelings to flow hard through your mind and body. Experience those raw emotions...and feel the pain.

And only then...begin to release them.

Allowing yourself to feel alive...even when it is painful...actually turns out to be quite empowering. As counter intuitive as that may sound, life has a way of using our frustrations and disappointment as fuel to bring the future into greater focus.

Get Moving

Once your self-inflicted pain session is complete it is time for action. Get yourself organized. Start a list of what you want...now. Don't sell yourself short as you document what it is you really want. Put it all down on paper (or Wunderlist if you've committed to a digital life like me.)

This list...regardless of how long...is your new beginning. You don't have to achieve anything on your list today...but you absolutely need to acknowledge that it exists. 

Your new plan has just been born. Give yourself credit for starting. Nothing keeps disappointment and bitterness going strong more than inaction.

So take action!

How About You

Titles..money...power...all may have a role to play in your plan. However, being someone other than you makes no sense, so stop the comparisons and focus on your list. Organize it...take small steps...and start being the real you. After all, it's a lot more satisfying to say "I Wanna Be Me!" Don't you think?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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