Walking with Superman: Day 239

When conditions are right at the Kelso Dune Field at the Mojave National Preserve in southeastern California, the sand itself begins to sing in a low, booming tone. Such singing sands exist in only a handful of places around the world, and while they typically sing solo, today the Kelso Dunes are playing backup. The Silver Banshee has come to California, hoping that the song of the dunes holds the key to restoring her humanity, and she's not about to let anyone stop the music, especially Superman! But has the Man of Steel come to apprehend her, or is the song she's singing written for a trio?

Walking with Superman: Day 164

A few short years ago, while Superman was missing in action, Lex Luthor rose to some prominence and popularity by developing the Everyman Exo-Gene treatment, which brought superpowers to the masses...for a price. But on the stroke of midnight that New Year's Eve, those powers suddenly turned off, killing hundreds--if not thousands--of superhuman civilians. But as another new year arrives in Times Square today, it seems that someone has decided to reverse that tragedy. In the final moments of New Year's Eve, Superman discovered a lead-shielded device in the New Year's Eve Ball. In his attempt to discover its purpose, he inadvertently triggered it, releasing a strange customized virus onto the thousands below. Rather than some exotic illness, however, this virus contained a transmissible version of the Everyman treatment, infecting thousands of people with superpowers! Now, the virus is spreading through the Big Apple, and it's becoming clear that so many people suddenly gaining amazing abilities may be just as deadly as suddenly losing them! It's up to Superman to find a cure, before the newly-minted metahumans bring this super-city to the ground--but they won't be giving up their powers without a fight!

Walking with Superman: Day 162

Habari gani, Superman? The Man of Steel arrives in New Orleans, where a one-time JSA member has formed a legacy team of his own! Markus Clay, the current Amazing-Man and the grandson of the original, has followed in that civil rights activist's pioneering footsteps, assembling Adili: a team of African-American heroes dedicated to promoting equality and providing a positive example. During this fifth day of Kwanzaa, the team is working to rebuild and improve the lower-class neighborhoods around Clay's home city, many of which are still devastated after Hurricane Katrina. Superman offers his assistance with the efforts, but not everyone perceives his presence as a positive. Adili member Muhammad X wants the Man of Steel to take a hike, and he's not the only one. Should Superman try to overcome the friction and work toward a common purpose, or does his very presence hurt their cause? This is one problem that superpowers won't solve!

Walking with Superman: Day 158

He's checking a list and making it twice! Phones have been ringing off the hook across the western United States and Canada in these dark hours of the morning after Christmas, with reports of strange burglaries--Christmas presents stolen and stockings emptied, with cookies and milk left in their place! NORAD contacts Superman as they track the Christmas crook's flight eastward, and the Man of Steel catches up to the figure over Cheyenne Mountain in Colorado. What he finds is an interplanetary traveler, hailing from the South Pole of a cube-shaped world, traveling in a flying sleigh pushed by nine tiny white reindeer: Bizarro-Santa! It's up to Superman to send Bizarro Santa back to his playshop and prevent him from undoing Christmas, but Bizarro-Santa knows that he's been very, very nice this year, and he has a sack full of coal as punishment--green, glowing coal!

Walking with Superman: Day 157

Ho ho ho, it's a special jolly-sized 64-page issue of Walking with Superman! As the country sleeps through the night of Christmas Eve, the Man of Steel receives an alert on the Justice League communicator system, from a long-time JLA reservist. He may not spend much time at the Watchtower, but this hero has clocked more hours of monitor duty than the rest of the DCU combined--it's Kris Kringle, aka Santa Claus! He's watched Superman's journey, and since he's making a cross-country trip of his own tonight, he's decided to ask little Clark Kent along for the ride! Superman accompanies Santa to each of the fifty states in fifty pages, but it's not all sugarplums and candy canes--there are dark forces who would do anything to stop Santa's annual journey! It all ends in the early morning hours on Christmas Day, as Santa returns Superman to Metropolis, DE. After all, he's been awfully nice this year.

But that's not all! Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen take the spotlight in a shocking second feature: The Terror of Toyland! When the intrepid reporters investigate strange happenings at one of Toyman's old hideouts, they fall into a trap meant for Superman! How can this dynamic duo survive a snare meant for a Man of Steel?

Walking with Superman: Day 156

Superman takes a break from his cross-country trek to fulfill a Christmas tradition. Every year, the Man of Steel spends Christmas Eve reading and answering the thousands of letters addressed to him over the year, piled up in a back room of the post office in Metropolis, DE. The task is a hard one, not because it taxes Superman's amazing abilities, but because it weighs so heavily on his mind. The letters send him crisscrossing around the country, helping people in need. A young girl in Minnesota has been denied a simple life-saving medical treatment by her religiously-motivated parents. A whistleblower in North Carolina finds himself blacklisted from his field for trying to do the right thing. A family in Missouri thinks they know who kidnapped their son, but can't get the police to investigate. A housewife in Connecticut thinks she's becoming an alien after contracting a Coluan virus while working with alien refugees. Hour after hour, Superman does his best to solve these intractable problems and put his skills to use where they're needed. Those letters are the easy ones. The really tough ones, like one from a bullied gay teen in Kentucky, are the ones where Superman is too late.

Walking with Superman: Day 127

Clark Kent returns home to Smallville to help Ma with the cooking for their big Thanksgiving dinner. Lois and Lana fly in from Metropolis, along with Lana's niece Linda, and Conner even brings his friend Lori over. Everyone settles in for a nice, calm, home-cooked meal...until a knock on the door brings an unexpected party crasher! On the doorstep, bloody and disoriented, and crackling with strange energy, is Lex Luthor. The Kent clan takes him in, but what brought him to Smallville? Why is he in such a terrible state? What do you suppose will happen when his former Vice President stops by? This year at the Kent farm, the turkey comes with a heaping side of drama!

Walking with Superman: Day 102

Anoka, Minnesota calls itself the "Halloween Capital of the World," but they've never seen Halloween havoc in five dimensions before! Mr. Mxyzptlk's trickery has made everyone into what they dressed as, and it's up to Superman to save the town from hordes of ghosts, vampires, and other assorted monsters. It's too bad he was dressed as a simple mild-mannered reporter at the time! Now the fate of Anoka rests in the suddenly superpowered hands of three Kryptonianized kids! Will these grade-schoolers of steel be able to win Mxy's game and set things right? If it means giving up their amazing powers, will they even want to?

A belated gift

I finally have a scanner of my very own, which means I can finally send Chris Sims the Daft Punksmas present I made for him! Happy holidays, everyone!

A Holiday Question

Which comic book character, hero or villain, would you most like to see playing replacement Santa?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot...

At the insistence of the guy who feeds my addiction, I've decided to do a big end of the year post. I'm separated from most of my collection, so this is pretty much from memory, and limited to what I bought and read over the course of the year. Here goes!

In the category of Limited Series...
Most surprising: Beyond! Beyond! was a fantastic little tale that, amid the hubbub of Civil War, was a nice reminder of how comic crossovers (especially Marvel comic crossovers) used to be. It's short, heavy on the melodrama and the emotion, and still a lot of fun. Plus, you didn't need to buy the whole Marvel catalog to get the whole story. I was more than a little upset at Gravity's death, because I really liked the character and his miniseries, but the end seemed to suggest that his story's not over yet. I can't wait to get this in trade format.

Most disappointing: Civil War. I'm sure I'll get lambasted for this. It's not that Civil War is the worst miniseries out right now, but it's the one which most squandered its potential. It has fantastic art and a good idea, but what could have been the best Marvel crossover this side of "Acts of Vengeance" has become everything its authors said it wouldn't be. Long-established characters are acting wildly out of character, there's no consistency between the related comics and the main series, the plot is haphazard, and worst of all, it's a 'real-world political allegory' with absolutely no shades of gray. Millar has taken the worst parts of bad political allegory and fused them with the worst parts of superhero crossovers to make something that sure looks nice, but with a plot that simply doesn't hold up under its own weight. And whether it's in two months or a year, eventually we'll see Wanda Maximoff magic it away, when we could have seen real status quo change to the universe.

Worst (tie): Martian Manhunter & The Trials of Shazam. I simply couldn't choose. Between these comics we have the most half-assed lame attempts to make major unpopular characters relevant that I've seen in a very long time (way back to armored Daredevil and peek-a-boo costume Invisible Woman, I daresay). With Martian Manhunter, the heart and soul of the Justice League has been given the world's worst makeover, saddled with unnecessary new Martians, and told "everything you know is wrong" for the gazillionth time. Yes, let's make a character popular by taking away everything that makes him recognizable and unique, that'll work. Utter crap. And Trials of Shazam? Ye gods, let's take the most shining-bright happy-go-lucky character in the history of comics, and turn him into a dark, brooding, soul patch-wearing mystic on an idiotic quest. Oh, and we'll get Judd Winick to write in some of his trademark "missing the point" and "misogyny" to boot. Just bad, bad comics.

Best: Secret Six; Runners-up: Beyond! & Marvel Zombies. Secret Six has been one of the most consistently entertaining comics ever since it was Villains United. I want to continue reading it well into the end of time. Please, please, make this an ongoing.
I've already said my piece about Beyond!, but I'll say that Marvel Zombies would have this top spot easily if not for the lame ending. It just kind of...petered out. And over the course of like the last three pages, too. Even so, it's a fantastic mini, with a great idea behind it, and you better believe that I'll be picking up the Army of Darkness tie-in prequel.

In the category of graphic novels...
I'll admit, I haven't read many OGNs this year. So, while I'd like to say that "Pride of Baghdad" is the best, I haven't even cracked open Cancer Vixen or Mom's Cancer or American-Born Chinese or 1,001 Nights of Snowfall or even Pride of Baghdad, which I only just bought. So I can't make an intelligent decision here.

But as far as trades go, there's only one choice for the best: Absolute Sandman Vol. 1. It's so big and beautiful...I can't wait for them to finish the series.
Close runner-up is Absolute New Frontier, mainly because it doesn't quite have the same stack of special features, despite being a beautiful and complete story.

In the category of regular comic series...
Most disappointing series: Justice League of America. This isn't to say that it's the worst series, not by a longshot. But it seems like it has compiled all of the bad tics of Meltzer's writing into a muddled, plodding mess. Meltzer can tell solid superhero stories; his work on Green Arrow was top-notch, and despite everything, Identity Crisis turned out to be a pretty good story. It was a bad mystery and a terrible foundation for the new universal status quo, but it was a good story. Meltzer understands the characters, the relationships that drive them, and the need for heart and soul and emotion in addition to action. He has a knack for making minor characters interesting and for exploring previously unexplored but natural elements of superhero existence (like planning for your death in "Archer's Quest"). Morrison's JLA was epic and plot-driven, Waid's was character-driven, Kelly's was theme-driven, and Meltzer's had the potential to be relationship-driven. Unfortunately, none of that has really made it into JLofA. Instead, we have Vixen's anime-inspired animal naming, superheroes who can't use each other's codenames even in battle, Red Tornado's over-the-top (even for comics) melodrama, and decompression that would make Brian Michael Bendis gasp for air. The action has been decent, but it doesn't nearly make up for the fact that the trinity has been playing Overpower for five issues. And the fact that we won't even have a team until after the halfway point really drives the point home. This could have been a fantastic series, if an editor were willing to tell Meltzer to speed things up, to pay attention to codenames, and to realize how ridiculous Vixen's dialogue is (honestly, even the cartoon just showed an animal-shaped aura around her, this isn't Bravestarr). But Meltzer's a superstar, and superstars don't get edited, and that's not a good thing.
JLofA isn't the worst series around. I still buy it, I still hope that every issue makes up for the previous ones, and I like some of the story twists, and the last issue was pretty solid, but damn I hope it picks up soon.
And please, for the love of Rao, someone realize that "Reddy" is dumb once, but the third time on the same page, it's idiotic. When you've got everyone else calling each other by their first names, why not "John"? Why "Reddy"? Oy.

Most surprising series: All-New Atom. I resisted All-New Atom at first. It was partially because John Byrne was on it, and I haven't been thrilled with Byrne's work for some time now. Part of it was that I really kind of like Ray Palmer, and a big part of it was that I really didn't care for the story in Brave New World. Which is no surprise, since I don't think there was a decent story in the whole book. But, at the insistence of my supplier and after rave reviews across the blogohedron, I broke down and picked up the back issues. I promptly subscribed and I haven't looked back since. All-New Atom is just about the perfect book for a science geek like me, whether it's for the weird mesh of science and magic in Ivy Town, for Simone's top-notch research, or for the name-dropping of people I really like and respect like Penn Jillette, James Randi and Phil Plait, alongside a who's who of DCU fictional scientists. And while I certainly won't be mourning the loss of the irascible Mr. Byrne, I have to say that his work here was a marked improvement over the awful, awful work he did on Action Comics. All-New Atom has been a fantastic series, and I can't wait to see where it goes from here.

Worst series: Flash: the Fastest Man Alive. This should come as no surprise. Quite a few bad changes came out of IC/OYL. The death of Superboy, the senseless defection of Cassandra Cain, the dropping of "Captain" from Captain Comet's name, but none have been quite so absolutely moronic as the passing of the Flash mantle to Bart Allen. At least the others could be justified by the new story options they opened up or something like that; so far there hasn't been a story--nay, a single panel--to justify making Bart the Flash. We lost more than just Bart's fun, whimsical nature (which took a beating in Teen Titans, but more due to maturation than editorial edict). We lost two good characters (Impulse/Kid Flash and Wally) and a fantastic supporting cast (Linda and the rest of Wally's family, the Speed Force crew), and what did we get in return? A brooding, boring, paint-by-numbers superhero, further hindered by some of the worst plotting, sloppiest art, and mind-numbing dialogue in professional comics. Wally would have fit in so well with the post-IC DCU. Between him, Catwoman, Batman, Superman, Black Canary, and now Wildcat, superheroes' children are the new fashion. They could all share a daycare service. But instead of that new, interesting angle on superheroics and parenting, we get...this. I hope Marc Guggenheim improves this book (he could hardly do worse, but they said the same thing about Bruce Jones taking over Nightwing from Devin Grayson), but with Bart remaining the Flash, I kind of doubt it. Until then, though, I won't be wasting any more of my money on this garbage. Congratulations, messrs. Bilson, DeMeo, and Lashley, for printing the worst comic of the year!

Best series: All-Star Superman; Runner-up: 52. All-Star Superman has delivered six of the best issues featuring the character since Alan Moore was involved. Somehow mixing Morrisonweird™ with Silver Age craziness and Frank Quitely's flawless art turns out to be the recipe for the perfect Superman series. I really could gush about this for pages without saying anything new; suffice it to say that this is one of the few books I look forward to rereading. There's always something new to admire, in writing and art, in an issue of All-Star Superman.
I feel hesitant considering 52 in the "best series" category. It's had bumps and lulls and bad issues, and sometimes it feels like none of the plots are progressing (or only a few are, while others stagnate), but I look forward to reading every issue every week, to the point where waiting seven days for the next one is difficult. It's been a very long time since I've been able to say that about any comic, let alone one with as much to like as 52. And in a year where a high-profile bimonthly title only managed a single issue, any comic that could present 34 quality issues in one year, without any delays or resolicitations, is a major achievement. Kudos, 52 team.

Best single issue: There were a lot of strong contenders for this title. I could have easily looked through All-Star Superman, Y: The Last Man, Fables, Runaways, or any number of other series for some well-written, well-illustrated awesome issue. I could have been somewhat disingenuous and picked Seven Soldiers #1, even though I haven't reread it, I haven't reread the miniseries, and I'm fairly certain I didn't understand it. But there's one comic that stands out in my memory, and since I'm doing this thing by memory, I'm going to go with that. And that comic is The Thing #8. The superheroes (and assorted villains) of the Marvel Universe meet at Ben Grimm's place to play poker, and along the way we hear about Ben's Bar Mitzvah, we wrap up the various plotlines still hanging at the end of the too-short-lived series, and we learn of a battle where the Thing and Squirell Girl defeated the Bi-Beast with smelly garbage. All this and absolute hilarity really make this an excellent display of the fun, entertaining, heartfelt comics Marvel is capable of doing, when they're not striving for half-thought realism and spider-totems. When Civil War is gone and forgotten, The Thing #8 will still stand out as one of the most pure fun comics in Marvel history.

Character of the Year: Superman. It's been a banner year for Superman. We finally received the renaissance that has been promised nearly every year since 2000 (or before). All-Star Superman stands head and shoulders above most of the other comics on the shelves; Up, Up, and Away gave us the best eight straight issues of the Superman books that I've seen...maybe ever. Kurt Busiek has brought his sense of character and action and plot and everything else to make Action Comics, then Superman, simply incredible, and despite some disappointment, Johns and Donner are turning in quality work as well. Not to mention Pete Woods, Adam Kubert, and Carlos Pacheco, who have each lent distinctive looks to the titles. Meanwhile, outside of comics, young Superman has shown up in a new animated series alongside the Legion, Smallville's Clark is forming a Justice League, and we've finally been able to get the Donner cut of Superman II. Not to mention the rest of the special features and whatnot associated with the new Superman movie releases. The '40s serials are finally available on DVD, as is the first season of Justice League Unlimited. It could have been a better year for the Man of Steel; there could be a little better editorial control of Action Comics, and more people could have seen The Best Movie Ever. But, he made it back to the big screen (and the huge screen, in 3-D no less!) after too long of an absence, and that's a major accomplishment. And in The Best Movie Ever, no less. 2006 has been a red-letter year for Superman.
And that letter is "S."

Artist of the Year: Mark Bagley. Bagley's been my second favorite Spider-Man artist since he was on Amazing way back when (my favorite is still John Romita, Sr.). This year, Bagley hit 100 consecutive issues on Ultimate Spider-Man, which to my knowledge is a pretty punctual book. His work has become the standard non-movie image of Spider-Man on bookbags, t-shirts, and folders, and for good reason. He's a top-notch artist, who can do action and emotion equally well. He knows Spider-Man, and he can make the weirdest contortions and flips and whatnot look totally natural. It'll be sad to see Bags leave USM, especially since the book is so defined by his style, and despite his own great skill, Stuart Immonen has some big boots to fill. But, if it's anything like the last time Bagley left Spider-Man, I doubt it'll be too long before he's pencilling webs again. Thanks, Mark, for all the fantastic work.

Writer of the Year: Gail Simone. I didn't think a whole lot of Gail Simone coming into the year. I didn't much care for the revamp of Rose & Thorn, and I was underwhelmed by Action Comics (though more for Byrne's art than her writing) and her Teen Titans fill-in. But now I repent my earlier folly. I kneel at Ms. Simone's feet and chant "I'm not worthy" in my best impression of Wayne Campbell. Up until a week or two ago, I was buying three Simone comics monthly: All-New Atom, Birds of Prey, and Secret Six (which just ended). Besides those, she's got Gen 13 and Welcome to Tranquility coming out regularly, and she's been on Action Comics, Villains United, and JLA: Classified over the course of the year. I think she's averaging four or more books a month, with punctuality and quality intact, and that's a major feat. Besides her terrific comics work (and it is terrific, it's among the most terrific comics work being done today), she somehow manages to frequent the blogohedron and various messageboards. I'm not sure how she does it, though I suspect some mixture of sleep deprevation and a Time-Turner, but I'm glad she does. Gail Simone's a fantastic writer and a fantastic person, and far more deserving of a "Person of the Year" nod than certain editors in chief. Congratulations, Ms. Simone. Keep up the good work!

I couldn't possibly list everyone and everything that has stood out to me this year. Just let me thank everyone who has worked on the comics I've mentioned, everyone who's worked on the comics I buy and haven't mentioned, the fine folks at Tim's Corner and Stand-Up Comics for feeding my addiction, and everyone who reads this blog through infrequent updates and my feeble attempts at humor. I really enjoy doing this, and I hope to provide more quality blogging, perhaps on a more regular schedule, in 2007 and beyond! Thanks, one and all, and Happy New Year!

@#$!ing Blogger

Yeah, so my long end-of-the-year post, due to a broken tag, decided to go off into blog limbo, and I'm out of time to rewrite it. I guess I'll pick it up later tonight and backdate it, but this really torques me off.

Happy New Year, everyone.

Monomyth Month: Happy Holidays!

Isn't it always the way it goes...you make all sorts of grand plans for the holidays, and eventually they all peter out? Well, at least one thing's going well: I've got two holiday-themed Monomyth entries for you here today! Both ought to be familiar, both have been the subject of songs and television specials, and both are Christ figures! How about that?

Of course, I'm talking about Jesus of Nazareth and Frosty the Snowman!

Let's hit up ol' J.C. first. Away in a manger, no crib for a bed, Jesus was born to yon virgin Mary and her husband Joseph, who apparently had fairly little to do with the proceedings, comparatively. His birth was heralded by a multitude of angels, who appeared to certain shepherds in fields where they lay. This son of God by name was born under a star of wonder, which guided three kings from the orient (as well as a small boy with a drum) to pay tribute to the infant king. Meanwhile, King Herod of Judea, feeling threatened by the childlike emperor, orders the massacre of all the children in and around Bethlehem under the age of two. Joseph proves his worth by spiriting his family away to Egypt before this slaughter, after being warned by an angel. Jesus grew up fairly inauspiciously, except for an incident in a temple when he was seven, and we don't hear anything about him until he's a grown man.

He is baptized, whereupon he is told by a spirit (in the form of a dove) that he is the son of God (Call to Adventure). This incident is presided over by John the Baptist (Supernatural Aid), and Jesus promptly heads off to the desert for forty days. There, he is tempted by the devil, but he does not give into temptation (Crossing of the First Threshold). He returns (Rebirth) and performs the occasional miracle before heading back to his hometown, where he is driven out by an angry mob (leading him to the Belly of the Whale). He meets up with some apostles (including an Ally/Shapeshifter by the name of Judas Iscariot) and travels around, preaching the word and performing miracles. At some point, he meets Mary Magdalene (Meeting with the Goddess) who achieves a special position among Christ's followers. Some time thereafter, he shares a last supper with his men, then went into the garden of Gethsemane to pray for guidance ("I only want to say" that it's the Atonement with the Father and Apotheosis). He is betrayed, tried and beaten (The Ordeal). He is crucified and dies (Crossing of the Second Threshold), after which he is buried, but is resurrected a few days later, after which he ascends bodily into Heaven, fully man and fully god (Master of Two Worlds), promising to return someday.

I realize having written that that the cycle might work better if the "First Threshold" were set at his arrival in Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, so just pretend I said that instead.

On the Raglan scale, Jesus's score really depends on who you talk to. His mother is a virgin (1), his father is supposedly descended from King David (2), he is conceived without sex or Original Sin (4), is the son of a God (5), Herod makes an attempt on his life at birth (6), but he is spirited away to Egypt (7). We are told almost nothing of his childhood (9), but upon maturing he goes to his future kingdom (10), where he becomes king (13), reigns uneventfully for a little while (14), prescribes laws (15), loses favor with his followers (16), is driven from the throne (17), and meets with a mysterious death (18) at the top of a hill (19). He is not succeeded by any children (20), and his body is placed in a tomb, not buried, and disappears later (21), but there are loads of holy sepulchres and other places in his name (22). That's a solid 18, but one could argue that he satisfies #8 (reared by foster parents in a faraway kingdom) because of his childhood in Egypt, and #11, after foiling Satan's plans. I guess there could be dispute over 2 and 22 as well, but in any case, he's got a pretty high hero score.

And on the Christ figure traits, I think we can safely say that Jesus satisfies most of 'em. A heroic hat trick! Rock on, Jesus!
On to our next hero! Frosty's story is a little easier to compress, thanks to the fine folks over at Rankin-Bass. On December 24th, some children start building a snowman, using a corncob pipe, a button nose, and two eyes made out of coal. They top it all off with a top hat discarded by the terrible magician Professor Hinkle. There must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found, because when young Karen (1) put it on his head, he began to dance around (4, The Call to Adventure). Professor Hinkle takes back the hat (6), but Hinkle's magic rabbit, Hocus Pocus (Supernatural Aid), steals the cap back and returns it to Frosty. Frosty comes back to life, though he is incredulous that a snowman could be alive (Refusal of the Call). He comes to terms with this new status quo, but realizes that the sun is hot, and begins to melt. The children suggest that he go to the North Pole, where he won't melt (7), and they head off to the train station. On the way, they encounter a traffic cop who impedes their path, but they pass by (Crossing the First Threshold). Frosty, Karen, and Hocus get on the train in a refrigerated boxcar (Belly of the Whale), with Hinkle in hot pursuit. Frosty takes his friends out when he realizes that Karen is freezing, and they trudge through the harsh forest (The Road of Trials) searching for someplace warm. They encounter woodland critters, who are preparing for their Christmas celebration and Santa's arrival, and the critters build a fire for Karen (14). Hinkle catches up with them and blows out the campfire, demanding his hat (The Ordeal). Frosty and Karen flee (17, Flight) and come upon a greenhouse, where Karen can stay warm. Hinkle locks them inside the hot greenhouse, hoping to retrieve his hat after Frosty melts. Meanwhile, Hocus brings Santa to find Frosty and Karen, though the snowman has melted into a puddle (18, Apotheosis). Santa explains that because Frosty was made of Christmas snow, he can't ever really disappear. To demonstrate this, he opens the door, and a Christmas wind blows in (Rescue from Without). Frosty reappears outside the greenhouse (Crossing the Second Threshold), and Santa defeats Prof. Hinkle. Santa takes Karen back home, and takes Frosty back to the North Pole, though the snowman returns for a parade every year thereafter (20, 21, Master of Two Worlds).

And Christ parallels? Wow, are there Christ parallels. Frosty is in agony (melting), good with children (naturally), self-sacrificing (to save Karen), uses humble modes of transportation (marching here and there, all around the square), spent time in the wilderness (with the woodland critter Christmas!), created some aphorisms ("If I spend too much time in here, I'll really make a splash"), died but was resurrected, had 'apostles' (the group of children), was very forgiving (he didn't harbor any ill will toward Professor Hinkle), and was unmarried. Not to mention that he was born on Christmas Eve, persecuted, and ascended bodily into the North Pole, promising that he would return again someday. People sometimes consider the difficulty of teaching children about the gruesome story of Christ's persecution and death, and I think Frosty makes a pretty good introduction to that. Either way, he makes a darn good hero, and a perfect end to this Christmas post!
Happy Holidays, everybody!

The stuff of nightmares...

Okay, I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight. Anyone else see the new Playstation 3 commercial? Holy crap.

You know, I really don't think "creeping the hell out of the consumer" is an effective way to get people to buy your product.

Oh God, it burns, it burns!

Happy Day of the Dead!

Here's Oingo Boingo and the late Rodney Dangerfield to help you celebrate All Saints Day!

"Biggie Smalls, Biggie Smalls..."

My holiday video roundup has hit a few snags, not the least of which is the sudden disappearance of the vast majority of Freakazoid videos from YouTube. Damn it, now "FwF!" posts from as recently as two weeks ago are broken, and you guys won't get to see Candle Jack. Thanks a lot, GoogleTube. I'll see what I can do about this later...

And then I find out that Google Video wants to charge $1.99 to watch "Thriller." I believe I paraphrase St. Benjamin when I say "Wotta revoltin' development!"

But I'm not totally content-free for Samhain. As a little "screw you" to the King of Pop, here's "Thriller"...as performed by Legos.

Continuing the trials and tribulations of dating a werewolf (that's what Michael is in the beginning of that, right? Some sort of were-something, anyway), here's the crew of the Satellite of Love.

And since I can't hear that without thinking about the end credits, here are the end credits.

Crow T. Robot engages in some truly frightening Cryptozoology here.

And finally, here's The Cure, to ensure that you have pleasant dreams tonight.

In honor of "Satan's holiday"...

I joined NaNoWriMo because I'm a bandwagon whore. This will undoubtedly be the worst decision I have ever made, except perhaps my decision to use more instances of hyperbole than there are Hydrogen atoms in the universe. The book (if you can call it that) that I'm writing (read: never, ever coming close to finishing) will earn me a special spot in Hell, where demonic surgeons will turn me into a terrible copy of some hideous Rob Liefeld drawing. While singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing."

Anyway, I'm writing my take on the Apocalypse and the Antichrist and whatnot. Real light fare. If you've been paying attention, you'll know my feelings about pedestrian, run-of-the-mill, cliché Antichrist characters, and you'll know how much I dig Christ figures and Monomythic heroes and that sort of thing, so that should give you some idea of what to expect. It'll never be published, it'll probably lose me some friends, and it might just end up being one of the most blasphemous things ever written. You know those comic revamps that are built around "everything you know is wrong" (*cough*Martian Manhunter*cough*)? Yeah, it's kind of like that, but with the Bible.

It sounds like I'm really proud of this, but I'm not. I think I have a cool idea for a story, I just wish it weren't such a heretical idea. Hopefully there'll be a good story in there someplace.

And just to piss everyone off, the protagonist is female, and I'm writing in first person. Somehow, some masochistic part of me decided I actually possess that kind of audacity.

At this point, I call it Considering Lily. I'm sure I'll call it other names as the deadline approaches. Good thing it's an easy semester!

Someone, please, for the love of all that is holy, talk me out of this. I just know I'm going to lose what little respect and dignity I have left.