Y IS FOR YEARS

For each letter of the A to Z, I'm going to give you a KEYWORD. You post in the comments a song with that word in the title. I will give you one to start (along with a video). If you like, you can go to YouTube and embed your video in the comments, so that readers can also listen to your song. No repeats and only post one song so that everyone can participate. If you're just brimming with songs, come back in a few days and lay it on me! If you want to see who else is participating in the A to Z click here.

You guys did great with the last keyword: Stop. Some of you really wanted to play around with the letter X (and I apologize for not being more obliging by providing the ideal X word... ;). In any event, you know that the rules aren't hard and fast here, so you just did as you pleased and posted a song with X. Or a band that started with X. Whatever. Ha! Anyway, here are the songs you thought of with Stop (or X somewhere) in the title:

Mary: Stop! In the Name of Love by The Supremes

Michele: Stop Stop Stop by The Hollies and Don't Stop by Fleetwood Mac

Rosey: He Stopped Loving Her Today by George Jones

Jeffrey: Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me (hilarious, btw) by "Weird Al" Yankovic

and Xanadu by OliviaNewton-John

Ericka: Don't Stop Believing by Journey

Alex: Stop The World by Extreme and Xanadu by Rush

Andrea: Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough by Michael Jackson

Arlee: Dance Stop by Daniel Amos

Holli: Never Gonna Stop (The Red Red Kroovy) by Rob Zombie

Robyn: Stop! In The Name of Love (again)

Debbie: Stop! by Jon Bonamassa and X Offender by Blondie

Birgit: Xanadu (again)

Dixie: Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by Daniel Padilla and Morissette Amon

Stephen T. McCarthy: The X-Ray (El Rayo-X) by David Lindley 

and Stop The World and Let Me Off by Waylon Jennings

Larry: X & Y by Coldplay and Stop Breaking Down by Todd Rundgren

Liza: Stop! In The Name of Love (again)

D.G.: I Can't Stop Loving You by Ray Charles

Cherdo: Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship

Marcy: Crystalised by The XX XX

If you can think of more songs from previous letters and WANT to post them now, feel free to go back and add them:)

It's a new day and a new letter!

What is the KEYWORD?

Obviously year is also okay. Any variation with year as the root is acceptable!

I present to you... This'll Be My Year by Train.


You can comment with a song or insert the video by copy/pasting the code in the search bar. Thanks for playing along!


Special thanks to Arlee Bird and the A to Z team who make this possible!

Arlee Bird @ Tossing it Out
Ninja Captain Alex J. Cavanaugh
Jeremy Hawkins @ Hollywood Nuts
Damyanti Biswas @ Daily Write
Heather M. Gardner @ The Waiting is the Hardest Part
Author AJ Lauer
Pam Brown Margolis @ An Unconventional Librarian
Zalka Csenge Virág @ The Multicolored Diary
Joy Campbell @ The Character Depot
John Holton @The Sound of One Hand Typing

MY LIFE ACCORDING TO TRAIN

Debbie at The Doglady's Den is the brains behind this fantastic list. Is it a meme or a list? I'm a bit confused. Anyway, there are questions to be answered using the names of songs by one artist.

I thought long and hard about this one. There were several artists I could use. I love Mary Chapin Carpenter, and she nearly got the honors.

I still love you, Mary!

Alas, that didn't happen. Here is my life according to...

Yep. These guys:

TRAIN!

 I will embed a couple of songs. The rest you can click on if you'd like to hear them. Enjoy!!!

ARE YOU A MALE OR A FEMALE?

ALL AMERICAN GIRL

DESCRIBE YOURSELF:

ANGEL IN BLUE JEANS

HOW DO YOU FEEL?

I'M ABOUT TO COME ALIVE

DESCRIBE WHERE YOU CURRENTLY LIVE:

MY PRIVATE NATION

IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO?

THE FINISH LINE

YOUR FAVORITE FORM OF TRANSPORTATION:

CADILLAC, CADILLAC

YOUR BEST FRIEND IS:

JUST A MEMORY

YOUR FAVORITE COLOR IS:

FOR ME, IT'S YOU

WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?

SOMETHING MORE

FAVORITE TIME OF DAY:

I'M DRINKIN' TONIGHT

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A TV SHOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED?

THIS'LL BE MY YEAR

WHAT IS LIFE TO YOU?

SING TOGETHER

YOUR RELATIONSHIPS:

FEELS GOOD AT FIRST

YOUR FEAR:
ORDINARY

WHAT'S THE BEST ADVICE YOU HAVE TO GIVE?

DON'T GROW UP SO FAST

IF YOU COULD CHANGE YOUR NAME, YOU WOULD CHANGE IT TO:

BULLETPROOF PICASSO

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

WE WERE MADE FOR THIS

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO DIE:

BREAKFAST IN BED

YOUR SOUL'S PRESENT CONDITION:

CALLING ALL ANGELS

YOUR MOTTO:

I'M NOT WAITING IN LINE

I also participated in Music and Words on my last blog post. If you missed that one (another music blog), just click back one. 

If you think this looks like fun, follow the link to Debbie's blog and sign up. It's just that easy (and super fun!).

The Soundtrack of My Life, Who's Knocking On Your Door? (and BoTB Results)

First up, Battle of the Bands results. The song was I Believe It (Delicious Surprise) and the contenders were Beth Hart and JoDee Messina. How did you guys vote?

Beth Hart: 8

JoDee Messina: 16

As for me, my vote is for JoDee Messina. So, my vote doesn't change anything but extend the margin of JoDee's win. I simply love her version of this song. I love it best kicked up to max volume riding down the road and singing at the top of my lungs. But, that's just me. All I really want now is a handful of salvation! I believe it!

If I didn't vote on your Battle this time, do not despair. I'm not boycotting you. I'm just Super Busy visiting relatives (who I don't see but once a year... maybe) and my Internet time has been severely limited. Vacation and blogging don't go so well together, but things will be back to normal come mid-August.

So, what was the first big surprise of junior year?

J1 came back. Yep, shocked me into speechlessness (and that doesn't happen often!).

I was living off campus with Jennifer the Second and some of her sorority sisters. School just started, and I was trying to lose this strong southern accent I picked up after working all summer with Louisiana people. I'm horribly empathetic and will adapt other people's accents (obviously) amongst other things. So, there's this knock on my door and it's J1. Yep, he tracked me down.

I know that you guys are dying to see him, so I'm going to share a couple of pictures. Just know that it wasn't all smooth sailing (as you might expect). We actually had a rough take-off. I think that sometimes happens when your gut is telling you "this is the real thing." That stuff is scary.

Here we are:

You know this is Serious Romance. Not everyone gets a TRAIN song... plus the lyrics are PERFECT.




When you met your first (possibly only) Big Love was it smooth sailing? Or did you take a few steps forward and back before things really started to roll?

If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

Cherdo on the Flipside 

Holli's Hoots and Hollers 

THE DOGLADY'S DEN

Directionally Challenged (Smarty-Pants Terminology for Lost)

Funny thing happened on the way to this blog....

As I began working on it, a HERE'S TO YOU post began to take shape. I kid you not. So, I stopped doing THIS and started doing THAT. Which means saving videos to Favorites. Thinking about your posts. I think my psychic link is somewhat broken. Or flickering. Used to be that I'd read one of your posts and *voila* I'd just know the footage to go with it. Now, it happens sometimes, and I've been prone to linking you to the footage since a HERE'S TO YOU hasn't actually happened in a very long time. So, be on the lookout for a HERE'S TO YOU... maybe Friday.

Anyway, I wanted to tell you about a few things going on here. Last night I was so tired. Just drained really. I went to bed before 7pm. Right after dinner. This from the girl who often can't sleep at night. Anyway, I woke up rather a lot, but didn't get up until 9:00am or so. Can we say TIRED? Anyway, in the middle of the night I had this dream about my dad.

Me and My Dad

Honestly, I always love when my dad makes an appearance in my dreams. He was driving a van or minivan. I was in the backseat. He says something like, "Uh oh. I think I made a wrong turn. I just got off the interstate and now I'm not sure I can get back on." To which, I climb into the passenger seat, reach under the dash, and say, "No worries. I've got a GPS. We'll just plug it in."

And then I woke up.

For the record: NOT ME

Now, that is funny because I used to have literal panic attacks when I'd get lost. (Not anymore, but it was seriously an ISSUE for me.) I was thinking about this dream (again) in the shower (aka The Think Tank) trying to decipher the ins and outs of it. When my dad comes to talk, it MEANS something. Finally, I decided that he was representing my mom in this dream. It feels like she's driving "our" car and has taken a very bad wrong turn. Rather, many wrong turns. In the dream I wasn't worried because I had the GPS, the fix, the way out. In real life, I stay knotted up all the time because she won't accept my GPS, my fix, or my way out.

So what is Dad trying to tell me? Get out of the car? Force the GPS on her? Or just remain peaceful and centered inside because I will not get lost no matter how many wrong turns she makes? It feels terrible, but it will be okay.

So, what was I doing on YouTube?

Well, I'm still trying to take you on the Train tour. This was a band that was also in need of some GPS. I think I can safely say they felt directionally challenged after the failure of For Me, It's You (2005). So much so that the band went on "hiatus" and Pat Monahan recorded a solo album, Last of Seven, in 2007. So, now several years have passed; it's now 2009. That's a long time and many people thought Train was dead after For Me, It's You. Then they release Save Me, San Francisco.

Pat said this about this amazing come-back of an album:

"(It was), 'Let's just make this record from our hearts and not worry about the rest. Let's just do this because we love it.' When we started go from that angle, it made us make better music and write better songs, feel better about things. Before anyone heard the record we felt like we were successful. And for maybe the first time in our careers, we stopped trying to write hit songs and were coming from a place of love."

I've made the statement that I hold fast to regarding the song by same name as the album (in this case, Save Me, San Francisco) as embodying the "feel" of the album. As someone who feels like I could use some direction or a "save," this song is keeping time with my life.



Train wouldn't know it at the time this album was recorded, but it was a LONG time before they recorded the next. California 37 was still quite a few years off. So, they lived on this album (and this album tour) for years. So, I'm going to stretch this album out a bit. But, always keep in the back of your mind that every song on this album is a search for their sound. Their selves. Their independence and their interdependence. So many of the things we all spend much of our own lives seeking. Heck, I'm still looking.

Where do I end and my mother begin? At what point do her problems become my problems and vice versa? We can't navigate this life without affecting the people around us. Sometimes we're being saved and sometimes we're saving and sometimes we're just working on our swimming skills. But, let's face it, we're never standing still. And, as FAE, said so eloquently in the comments of my last post: "Whenever I'm blue thinking how someone, especially someone important, disappointed me; I think of all the possible disappointment I've caused others, by simply being myself." Did that feel like a sucker punch? Don't look at me. I'm just quoting another brilliant mind!

Have you been high, been low? Have you been yes or oh hell no? What about rock 'n roll and disco? Have you been up, been down? Been lost when someone's not around? What about reggae or calypso? Have you been stop, been go? Have you been yes or oh hell no? Rock 'n roll and disco?

I've definitely been Oh Hell No!

Battle of the Brand Results ~ Brand New Book

I have to fess up. I've not been on Blogger for several days. I've mostly been migraining. Yeah, that's officially a "thing" now. Mostly because I just said it was. I did feel marginally better today, and it was a good thing, because I spent most of it at church.

Anyway, even though I hadn't been here, I did count up the votes on Battle of the Bands a few days ago. Much to my surprise, it was a tie.

11 votes to The Underdogs. 11 votes to UB40.

Holy smokes. Then I started praying someone/anyone would come back and vote so I didn't have to be the You Know What. The irony is that I've thought RIGHT UP UNTIL THIS BATTLE that I really wanted a close one. Turns out, I didn't want a tie-breaking one. In a tie-breaking event, I have to break the tie. I know many of you thought as you cast your vote that my vote was obviously and clearly for UB40. The thing is I really like The Underdogs, too.

Apparently you guys are equally divided on this issue. So, even though my vote has no more power than anyone else's vote, it sure 'nuff feels like it does. I listened to both songs again. Just to be sure. And you guys know me so well. I do like the UB40 version just a hair better than the other one. But only a hair, so don't go thinking you know me TOO well, 'cuz you don't. Obviously.

So, that means UB40 won the battle. And I kinda sorta feel like I won, too. Yippee. A tie. I finally picked two versions of the same song that resulted in a tie. ::clicking heels::

In case you thought I'd given up on my Train Education (of you) due to lack of interest... rethink it. I'm only halfway there. I'm not really sure where Brand New Book falls. It wasn't on an album. It was a single that is used as the theme song for the TV Show, The Biggest Loser. I don't watch the show, but I love the song. Since it fits the sentiments I expressed above, it's getting played NOW. I present to you Brand New Book. Here I am, you still me know. Just the same old story in a brand new book.

Underneath these lifelong
Things that were right till they went wrong
When misunderstood stood in my way.
Now down in the heart of a matter-of-fact
There's a place I remember and I wanna go back
Where I stop getting even and started to change.

All I want is you to see me

Here I am
You still know me
Here I am
Take another look
Here I am
Same old story in a brand new book

If second chances were dances
You know I would have two left feet
But at least I'd have a front row seat to love
And so I've been turning it upside down
Shaking it up and shaking it out
And now I'm running for you
Instead of running from me

All I want is you to see me

Here I am
New as morning
Here I am
Just like the sun
Here I am
Without warning
I'm the one for you
Here I am
You still know me
Here I am
Take another look
Here I am
Same old story in a brand new book

And now I get set of second chances to turn
The pages of the lessons of the love that I've learned
Was true, now all that's missing is you

All I want is you to see me

Here I am
New as morning
Here I am
Just like the sun
Here I am
Without warning
I'm the one for you
Here I am
You still know me
Here I am
Take another look
Here I am
Same old story in a brand new book

Here I am
Here I am

The same old story in a brand new book

On My Long Way Down

Another day has overtaken me and my level of productivity... well, I'd rather not talk about it.

Regarding my "almost relationship": all remains quiet on the southern front. (Not surprising.) In the course of this silence, I have thought of two things.

1) Patience is not my long suit. 

2) Calling him again is not a good idea.

Why is calling a bad idea? (I'm so glad you asked!)

It's a long story, and I won't go into the details here, but suffice to say that a long time ago with my first serious boyfriend I made a huge mistake. What was it? Well, as I said there's a long story that I don't want to get into here, but the significant part is as follows:

He went to boot camp and I went to work in NYC. I wrote tons of letters and got no response. I'm thinking he's changed his mind (not an unrealistic thought since the relationship had a long and annoying history of being on and off, with him controlling the ons and offs). And when I KNEW he was home and hadn't called me I got really drunk and called him. Nothing good ever happens when you drunk dial. Believe me. The gist was that he got all my letters when boot camp ended, and I was clearly upset at not having heard from him (ya think?), and he decided that continuing on would only hurt me more. Oh, he was so right about that. I figured that out about four years later. Anywhoozle, it took me a long time to fully understand that I stopped loving him right in that moment. I thought I still loved him, and continued on like I did, but the really good part of that love died right there on a parquet kitchen floor in Queens, New York.

You see, I wanted someone who was willing to fight for me. Or maybe thought I was worth fighting for. Whatever. And he wasn't that guy and he was never going to be that guy and it took me four years of trying to turn him into that guy to realize that I should have just accepted his answer the first time. Back on that parquet floor in Queens, New York. Continuing on was only going to hurt me more. He was 100% correct.

So, I've been thinking about that a lot these past few days. This tree guy will either decide I am someone worth fighting for (well not fighting precisely), but you know what I mean. Or he won't. But, if I call him (again), it's the first boyfriend all over again. And I will stop loving him before I even get a chance to start. And that seems like a big waste of time, and frankly I'm getting older and don't have four years to just throw into the toilet.

And that made me think of the Train song called Ordinary. And that made me realize that I should've posted it after the post on My Private Nation. It was released right after that record on the Spiderman 2 soundtrack. It is so much in the style of the My Private Nation record that it could've been on the album and fit in very well. It also is a perfect fit for the not-so-short story I told above.




Is it just me or do we all want to be anything but ordinary? And feel frustrated when our lives are so ordinary. Or our writing.

You read that correctly.

This song causes me to segue from my love life on life support to my writing on life support. I just don't believe in doing something unless you do it really well. I don't want to write a book that as the amazing Bryan over at A Beer For The Shower would say, "It's the best book no on will ever read." (He said this tongue-in-cheek about a story idea for his own book, but it made me pause and gasp a little.) Writing is such hard work that I cannot imagine being that person who devotes so much time and energy to something that is "okay" or "passable" or "fine." Oh God, please anything but fine.

I want to write something so funny, so witty, so damn spectacular (in its own obscure way) that makes a person not want to put the book down. Just like so many books have grabbed me in my life, and the last thing I ever wanted to do was quit reading and then wanted to cry just because it was over. So, I read it again so I could live for a few more hours in that world.

I want to be anything but ordinary. In my life. In my writing. Heck, I could probably settle for just this blog.

And that is why when I put My Private Nation back in the CD player the song that grabbed me by the throat was this one (Lyrics Below bolded by me):

I put ketchup on my scrambled eggs
And everybody thinks it's funny
I don't get mad

I don't laugh 'cause you don't shave your legs
But everybody thinks it's funny
No need to get mad

I don't spend my time with anyone
Who doesn't think I'm wonderful
Or somewhat cash refundable at times

Now I'm out here counting airplanes
Trying to make sense of the change
And I don't wanna be just anybody
So don't try to figure me out
I won't try to figure you out
I don't wanna be some average anybody

Now I got friends that ride into the storm
And ride out of the storm with nothing
They rode into the storm with

And there seems to be a price for everything
You get what you pay for then you pay for
What you already thought you bought before

But now I'm out here counting airplanes
Trying to make sense of the change
And I don't wanna be just anybody
So don't try to figure me out
I won't try to figure you out
I don't wanna be some average anybody

When you're up between the new sky line
The city lights and the warm sunshine
It's a long way down

When you can count on one hand what you love
And can count on who you love to help you
On your long way down

Well you end up counting airplanes
Trying to keep up with the changes
I don't wanna be with anybody else
So don't try to figure me out
I won't try to figure you out
I don't wanna be some average anybody

I don't wanna be with anybody else

When you're up between the new sky line 

The city lights and the warm sunshine
It's a long way down, it's a long way down
It's a long way down

My Almost Relationship.... For Me, It's You

Me before the Train concert in 2012

This post is going to be two things that I think in a bizarre sort of way go together. 1) I'm going to tell you the story of my almost relationship (yeah, with a man) and 2) We're moving on to the next CD Train released: For Me, It's You.

Remember I told you that the writing on Train's CDs was often a bit like a mirror into Pat's soul? What do I know about his life at this time? Well, not a whole lot, but SOME. During the My Private Nation tour he met the lady who would become his wife. So, I think his personal life took an extremely positive turn while this album was written. Of course, he still had kids with his ex-wife and there was probably some lingering sadness over that mess. But, all in all, his life was pretty darn good. And this album didn't do well--at all--with the general public. No big hits (the only Train album to not garner at least one song that blasted the charts). So, even though the critics liked it, the public... not so much. As for me... this was 2005 when my migraines really took over my life. Even I didn't buy this one. Hard to do when you rarely leave the house, or your bedroom, or your bed for that matter. I dropped 20 pounds this year and looked very like death warmed over. (No, this isn't the story I promised above.)

So, let's listen to the track For Me, It's You (which was never even released as a single) because I think the title track generally reflects the MOOD of the album, as I stated last post. You can listen to this one while you read my story. Or watch the video/lyrics and then read my story, whichever you prefer.




If I ever find truth I'm gonna let you know
If I ever find faith I'm gonna sit in every bit of its afterglow
If I ever find a way to bring love here today
You better bet your life that this is what I'll say
Give it if you've got it
Get it if you don't
Take my hand in the meantime
And let's walk into the sunshine
Everybody got something that they want to sing about
Laugh about, cry about, it's true
For me, it's you

So, here's the story:

I've told you about my forays with mom at the biker bar singing karaoke. I think I've told you at least one story of a man taking interest that was very one-sided (his side, not mine). But those experiences had value as I learned the art (better, if not perfectly) of speaking my mind. Back in November (the last time we were there), I ran into this fella I kinda/sorta knew. He owns a tree service and took down a large tree in our yard (with his crew) shortly after we moved here. I was still suffering mightily with migraines at that time and my contact with him was extremely limited, as it was another day of living in bed for me.

But, I approached him at the bar and asked "Are you____________?" And he said he was. I told him that he'd taken down our tree. Turns out, he remembered our house (and me), indicating that he felt terrible about the noise given my migraine.

And we talked for quite a while.

Not sure what he was thinking, but I was thinking, "Holy cow. I think I have finally met someone at this place I'd be interested in dating." There is something STRONG to be said for a man with whom you can conversate. (Just kidding. You know that's not a word, right? If not, you can read all about it here.) The long and short of that evening: he joined us for a while. He stepped out to go to the restroom or take a phone call.... I really can't recall. Mom decided she was ready to leave RIGHT NOW, and we left.

I hoped he'd come back and we could see what happened. The problem: we didn't come back. And didn't come back. And still didn't come back. The list of reasons is long and varied, but it's January 10, and we still haven't been back.

About mid-December I began to feel some angst about the whole thing. That bar was NOT a regular place for him to go. What if he came back (repeatedly) only to find out we weren't there? As January pushed forward, with no sign in sight of us returning soon, I finally said to mom, "I think maybe I'll call him."

Oh my Lord. The nerves. I don't know how you fellas deal with this sort of thing. I had to think on it for several days. What do I say? Go out for coffee? Lunch? If so, where do I suggest? It was all extremely nerve-racking!

I made the call to his business phone. Only after I dialed did two things occur to me. 1) He might be married. 2) He might not remember me. So, after an extremely awkward introduction of who I was, since he asked if I wanted a tree removed and I told him no, and I'd called to invite him out for coffee. (Mind you, I felt very stupid as I said this since he didn't seem to even know who I was!) I wanted to just hang up. Then, he figured it out. He knew who I was. Whew!

And that brings us to the other Train song on the album For Me, It's You. It's called Cab. It was released to the radio stations, but didn't do well. As for me... I like it. And it fits the mood of my story.




He tells me that he did show up at the bar looking for me. He was divorced in 2011 and hadn't dated anyone since his divorce. I was the second person he was "interested" in. Don't know what happened to the first. Anyway, I wasn't there (yeah, I know). In the meantime, he met someone else at the bar while looking for me and they've been dating a short while. I have to admit that in that moment, I felt just a bit crushed. You know, like a semi truck unloaded it's entire haul right on my head. I mean, I'd only been psyching myself up about this for a couple months... and then a few days for the actual phone call.

Back to the dating. He said they'd been going out two weeks, but I suspect it's more like a month. According to him, she's a "real nice lady" but he "doesn't know where it's going" and "he's not looking for something serious." Which I doubt. I think that when we meet the right person, we're interested in something serious. When we're with the wrong one, that's what we tell ourselves. Besides, he was married 20+ years and hasn't dated anyone since. That doesn't scream player to me. Or maybe I'm reading something into this that isn't there and he thinks she's wonderful.

He then asks if he can call me if it doesn't work out with her. (Yeah, this is why I think that relationship may not be all that.) I tell him that would be great. And it would. He's only been dating her a short time. It may work out. It may not. Although, I think if he was really into her he would've told me that. I know if I met someone and really thought he was The One, I wouldn't be asking for another guy's number.

So, I say something about it all being bad timing, which it was. He then proceeds to ask me questions and we talk for something like 20-30 minutes on the phone. As I said, I really enjoy talking to him, and I think the feeling is mutual. He told me I could call him anytime just to talk, because he enjoys talking to me. I said I didn't feel comfortable with that AND that I figured he'd know inside a month whether or not he and she will continue. He can call me if they don't. And we hung up.

Will this work out? No idea. For a couple days, I kicked myself over the way it all went down. And then I realized it's okay no matter how it turns out. We tend to allow our self image to be caught up in what someone else thinks/does. In this case, I'm not more appealing if he calls or less appealing if he doesn't. I'm just me, either way. (But you can be sure that if he DOES call, I will tell you about it!!!)

I'm still looking for a fare

No one said that it was fair
To be alone

The days are better, the nights are still so lonely
Sometimes I think I'm the only cab on the road

The days are better, the nights are still so lonely
Sometimes I think I'm the only cab on the road
Sometimes I think I'm the only cab on the road

How to wait after it feels like you've waited so long

Have you ever felt just generally uninspired?

When I get into these funks, I tend to listen to music.

When I was a teenager, that usually involved a record player or cassette player (yeah, I'm showing my age here) and a hairbrush (later a curling iron), because they both made excellent microphones. Besides, what is more fun than dancing around your room singing into a hairbrush? Not much, let me tell you. (This might suggest that I need to get out more... hmmm. Something to ponder later.) BUT, this sort of thing was almost always successful in raising my spirits.

I also spent many years with a tape player (later a CD player) permanently installed in my bathroom. I turned it up loud while in the shower and down (a little) when I wasn't. Again, this was excellent for the overall mood. However, when migraines struck in the early 2000s, this is one behavior I mostly quit. Who could stand the noise???? The water hitting the shower was loud enough... OMG. (Yeah, when this is loud, you have a migraine.)

I've gone on about the band Train on this blog before. In fact, I wrote a series of posts before I went to see them in concert (again) back in 2012 for their California 37 tour.

So, when my mood plummeted to Blah, I pulled the CD player off the shelf. Pulled my meditation CD out. Put Train's CD My Private Nation in.

Short story: I knew the Train hits Meet Virginia and Drops of Jupiter before I saw them for the first time live back in 2003 (I think). It was right after their album My Private Nation was released and one of the many concerts my ex-husband dragged me to (completely oblivious of how painful concerts were to my migraine situation). This one was outdoors (and much more pleasant for this migraine sufferer). All I remember is that a couple of songs in I was hooked. Infatuated. Completely under their spell. I bought a freakin' T-shirt. The ex did not. And soon after I loaded up on CDs. So, I mean hooked.

As I've learned more about this band, the more I believe that you can get a sense of where they were just by the song they choose to name the album after. The first one was self-titled with just Train. So, I guess it was the "this is who we are" album. Drops of Jupiter was second. I watched Pat on a TV special (MTV maybe?) talk about how that song came to him via a dream he had about his mother who recently passed. She was his staunchest supporter and died before the band achieved any "real" success. So, the song Drops of Jupiter is about his mother. Ironically, it's the band's "biggest" song to date, so his mother inspired an iconic song AFTER she died. With that in mind, I'm posting it here, though I think you've already heard it, unless you don't listen to contemporary music. (Yeah, I'm looking at you Stephen T. McCarthy.)




I loved that song before I really understood it. Now, I love it more.

But, My Private Nation. Man, I love that album. I listened to the whole thing yesterday, and damn. Every song on that album appeals to me. Every single one. Pat Monahan writes many of the songs (or at least co-writes), so the albums almost always reflect where he is in life. Does it get more real than that? And he wasn't in this great place when he wrote My Private Nation. His marriage dissolved, and anyone who's divorced know how that feels. So, there are songs that speak to that, as well as songs with just those quirky lyrics that Pat does so well. I could easily find a reason to post every song from that album, but that wouldn't be pleasing to anyone but me. ::sigh::

I will suggest that you listen to When I Look To The Sky, Get To Me, Calling All Angels, and I'm About To Come Alive. That last one really resonated with me on this listening, because I feel like that for the first time in a long time. Like I'm on the verge of it. Just hang with me for a little bit longer. I'm about to come alive.

But, like I said, I've noticed that the title song captures the MOOD of the album, even when it's never released to the radio. So, My Private Nation is the one I'm posting here.



How to get, how to give
How to make ends meet
How to lose, how to win
How to stay on the seat
How to use momentum to keep the two wheels straight
How to wait after it feels like you waited so long

I don't need nobody flyin' in my jet stream
Take the bus
Go on and get yourself your own dream

You can ride on, it ain't free
Leave a light on, so you can see
How to get back when you go

I Swear... It Happened Just Like This!

If you are new to this blog, you might not have noticed that I am off my Blogging Game. I was supposed to put up a HERE'S TO YOU post yesterday. I didn't have one. Say what? ::gasps are heard from the peanut gallery::

I know. This NEVER happens. Yet, it did. There were so many things that got put on the back-burner during April and the A to Z and they all attacked me at once.

 If you were thinking, "OH NO! She has quit the HERE'S TO YOU FEATURE.... Relax. It will be back next week (barring any hazards). And if you don't know what I am talking about... well, you are in for a treat.

Now, I SAID that I was going to post the Battle of the Bands results on the 7th. I totally forgot that was the IWSG post day. Really, just too much all at once. I did COUNT the votes, but I actually had "stuff" I wanted to say about this battle. First, there is no way of telling if you've done a good job in choosing the "combatants" until the votes start rolling in. I thought that more of you would like the Rihanna version, because it was the original, and would be the one you are accustomed to hearing. I didn't take into account how many of you don't listen to current music on the radio. Hahahaha. My mistake. And I might make it again, but isn't that part of the fun in life???

Second, Train whomped Rihanna in this battle. Their version of Umbrella got 26 votes without mine. Rihanna only got 3 votes. CW Martin said, "If it was done in my living room, maybe Rihanna." But he voted for Train. As for my vote?  Well I LOVE LOVE LOVE Train.  Some of you already knew that. How? Your first clue MIGHT have been the series I wrote on Train before attending their concert back in 2012. Then, before I went to the 21012 Train concert in Atlanta I am almost positive I posted this picture of myself in my Train concert T-shirt. I bought this shirt when I saw them the First Time back in 2004. Rarely do I go to a concert and buy the T-shirt, so it was a BIG thing.

Me in 2012 before Train Concert

Third, Briane P. didn't like either choice and voted instead for a cover by The Baseballs. I had never heard of The Baseballs or their cover, BUT it was FANTASTIC. And had I heard it earlier, I would have done this Battle completely differently. Ah... the things we learn AFTER THE FACT.

Fourth, Dawn Malone said that she would have liked Train's version better if it didn't have all the "ella ella ella" business in it. I agree. That is why I prefer their live, acoustic version. However, it wasn't the version they RECORDED and it didn't seem fair to use it. And the lead singer, Pat Monahan, has crazy hair in the acoustic video. I love Pat, but I swear it looks like he stuck a finger in a light socket.

Which brings me to my fifth point... To let you know I do listen to you, I will share The Baseballs version of this song (thank you Briane P.) and the acoustic version by Train (this is for you Dawn). You can vote again if you want on this new match-up (or not). It isn't an official battle. I just wanted you to hear the Battle That Could Have Been.

First up Train with their acoustic version:



And the new-to-me group, The Baseballs:



I apologize for not getting around to everyone's blog. It has not been Business As Usual here and I feel very behind. I hope to make the rounds before Monday.

So, now who do you like? Train Acoustic or The Baseballs? Remember the videos are entertaining to watch, but we judge strictly on the music. Yeah, it turns out I do want to know... I will be back on the 15th with a NEW AND DIFFERENT BOTB match-up!

T IS FOR TRAIN

My ex-husband loves to go to concerts.  I cannot tell you how many concerts that I went to when we were married.  I liked concerts well enough before my constant migraine started.  After that, not so much.  However, he was not to be deterred.  One of the many bands that we saw in our Tour De Force of concert-going was Train.  I had never heard of this band, and I wasn't excited about the event.  The only good thing about this concert, in my mind, was that we didn't have to travel to see them.  They were playing right in our town.  That was a Big Win.  Now, this was everything I thought BEFORE the concert.

The year was 2003, and they were playing at an outdoor venue.  This was excellent news for my migraine.  They recently released My Private Nation and were touring for that album.  Little did I know that I was about to be WOWED.  I loved this band.  I bought a T-Shirt before I left.  The ex-husband did not.  I started buying their CDs.  The ex-husband did not. 

The ex-husband did continue to buy concert tickets for other bands at all sorts of locations, so I saw Train again.  This time they were with Smashmouth and Natalie Merchant.  The venue was indoors and they were still awesome.  I only liked them more, because this time I knew more of their songs (thanks to the CDs).  Pat Monahan is amazing in concert.  He has this ability to relate to the audience that is rare.  He is a funny, funny man.  Yet, he can be serious, too.  He can literally wring every emotion out of you in one musical outing.

Like many people, I feared that Train was done when they disbanded after For Me, It's You.  However, they pulled it together and made Save Me, San Francisco.  They toured on that record for a LONG time while they decided where to go from here.  Their most recent album, California 37 is one of their best.  Each track has legs and can stand on its own merit.  In that way it reminds me of the much-loved My Private Nation, which I about wore the grooves off of back in 2003-2004. 

Here's to you, Train, and your successful comeback.  This is one of my favorite songs off of My Private Nation.  It was never released on the radio, but this video shows Pat Monahan's wonderful "presence" in concert.  You save me, and I will save the day!

Rating: Passion


What is your favorite Train song? Have you ever seen them in concert? Have you ever gone to a concert and been taken surprise by a band or singer?  Either liked them much better or not as well as you thought you would?  Have you ever gone to a concert that had a group/singer you didn't even know and you liked them so much you started buying their CDs or even bought a concert Tee?

Pat Monahan, I Got Your 411

You have probably been wondering why it has taken so long for me to post the Train concert rewind.

Well, it has been a bit difficult for me to wrap my head around it. That is honest.

I saw them a couple of times in 2004-2005 when they were on the road promoting their record, My Private Nation. The first time it was a total accident and I totally fell in love with them. The second time they were with Natalie Merchant and Smash Mouth and it was totally planned. That was just a trifecta of wonderful and I was already head over heels for Train.

They released several more records since My Private Nation. That means more hits. More songs. And they went into this tour in a completely different space. They headlined. They weren't opening or in the middle. I didn't think about what all of that would mean. There are always trades. The bigger you get, the more you lose. I know that you should get more, but you don't. It always works in reverse. You get more showy stuff like lights and big screens, but you lose time. You have more songs to sing and less time. Things have to go.

And that wonderful repartee that you used to get to enjoy with your audience... well, you don't have time for that anymore, either. You are on a freakin' clock. Too many songs. Not enough time.

What I felt in 2004-2005 was how much Train loved the performance. Pat is a funny, funny guy. He is also this serious guy who can write a song that will make you cry your eyes out. In other words, you can feel EVERYTHING in an hour (or two). You will, laugh, cry, and laugh again. Plus just drown in the beauty of the words. They are so good you don't need a light show or big screens to sell them. You just need Pat to talk to the audience. It is his opening the window to the soul of the band and giving the audience a peek in.. and it leaves everyone breathless for that moment in time. That is the moment that is worth the entire ticket price. Everything else is gravy.

So, when someone understands how to captivate an audience.... it does create magic when it happens... and I have lived through it twice.... why would you stop doing it?

California 37 is a brilliant album. It is their best work since My Private Nation. Save Me, San Francisco has moments of grace on it, but it fumbles. Like My Private Nation, California 37 is listening pleasure beginning to end. They got lost, but Train found their way again. And I was beyond happy for them:-)

So, things get cut in this new concert setting. That was one thing I just had to wrap my brain around. They didn't play my favorite songs. They truncated some and left out others entirely. Boo Hoo. They didn't have time. And Pat was somewhat chatty with the audience, but he was off. It was mostly song to song and we are outta here. Clap clap clap. Come back for the mandatory two song finale. And now we are really done. All with big lights and big screens. It was dizzying and not in the best way. Pat sang his heart out. Musically, it rocked. I can't say I didn't get my money's worth. I just didn't get my window. I didn't get my laugh, cry, laugh again moments. And if I had never had them, I wouldn't have known I was missing anything.

Today I read Pat's blog. I realize I haven't been keeping up. What people are saying to him is getting to him. The negativity is wearing him down. People aren't getting his humor. And that is a damn shame, because he is hilarious. So that is probably why he is cutting back on joking around between songs, because he doesn't want the negative feedback. And he doesn't want to open a window into his life, because that is just asking for negative feedback (right?). People and their negative feedback are taking the Meaningful out of Train concerts. You throw a bunch of crapola on someone and they stop giving you ammunition. It's called self-preservation.

Here is one of his more recent posts:

31th August 2012
And you’re sure you considered EVERYthing?

I am arriving at a place I dreamed of as a young lad(using this word as a tribute to the UK). On the way the road twisted, dead ended, forked, crossed…you name it, the road did it.
I thought I thought of everything. Really I did. I felt sorry for artists that started to believe the nonsense. Like believing that you’re as special as people want to think you are.
I looked on at the admirable jobs and places in the music world and decided that if I get my shot, I will do it with kindness and love and respect and I will make my parents proud, whether they are here to see it or not.
I decided that music is my ongoing road to find myself. The closer I got to that special music and connection, the closer I would get to knowing my true self.
I’m pretty sure that all of this was accurately moving towards truly working out as planned. Yeah, it took longer, had way more casualties and hurt way more than I thought it might, but the joy has continued to outweigh the lack there of.
Here’s the problem..I didn’t consider what might be the most important piece in this pursuit. I didn’t even think this part was possible. As I go down this road and get closer to finding myself, closer and closer each day, becoming in tune with my true self, what if I don’t like who I find waiting there?
I’m not looking for adulation nor confirmation. I mean really. What if as I approach that thing that we all long to find-our own personal meaning, what happens if the closer I get the more I resemble an unlikable version of what i was when i started this journey?
I’m not exactly sure what that would mean for me. I’m not sure that I would be able to continue this particular quest.
I do know this..I am making more mistakes now than ever and that worries me.

I dread writing and worrying people. I’m fine. I’m okay. I’m healthy. I’m okay. I’m in touch. BUT I’m not exactly sure I like what I’m becoming.
I’ve always wanted to be perfect. That led me to an endless sea of heartbreak and disappointment.
Now I just try not to break what I touch along the way. For everyone that I may touch positively, it seems someone else is being hurt or ignored.
As its said, “Everything will work out in the end. If it isn’t working out, it isn’t the end.”

As you move towards reaching your higher self, are you sure that you considered EVERYthing?

Pat

I couldn't respond to your blog, but I would have said you are allowing other people to dictate how you feel about yourself. You are a wonderful person. Please stop doubting yourself. You are not breaking anyone or anything. You always do the best that you can. Always. The only thing you are doing wrong now is not listening to your internal voice. You are not being you. I will explain this more as I go...

I used the link-in feature so that you could go direct to his blog if you wanted to do any other reading on your own. If you figure out how to comment, let me know. I am a total dweeb about these sorts of things.

One of the other comments he makes in a totally different blog is how hundreds of people can say how much they love him and one person's obnoxious hateful comment is the one that sticks. Doesn't that just suck? Why do we do that to ourselves? Hear all of the "you are wonderfuls" with a sort of "okay, if you say so" approach, but those "you suck" comments really hit in the heart. We believe that. Why is that? He was also talking about how people were targeting his sense of humor and really being ugly about it. He didn't say that he has since stopped talking on stage, but I know that he has really toned it down. He doesn't feel free to be himself. The haters are winning.

And there is the Catch 22 of stardom. The more you have, the more you can lose. When you don't have anything, you have nothing to lose. Back in the beginning, the haters didn't stop him. He didn't have a light show. He wasn't headlining. He didn't have big screens. Train wasn't rolling so hard. The faster you roll, the bigger you can crash. The flip side is that the faster you roll, the harder you can squash those little turds bullies with mouths that won't shut the fuck up. (If I just offended you, I am so thankful we got that over with, because it was bound to happen sooner or later. Now we can move on... because I always call it like I see it. And that was how I see it.)

So, Pat and the rest of Train, I hope that you read this and let Train start rolling again as AWESOME as it ever was, and even better than I can imagine. I just answered your 411. Give them hell. Be yourselves. It will solve ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS. In case you forgot, this is who you are:




as for the image... that is me pre-Train concert 9/7/12.

You Can Quit At Any Time. But This Could Be Your Year.

Well, I missed a few days. Duh.

Did you miss me?

Yeah, I figure you were busy, too.

Funny how you can have great intentions and they can just get shot straight to someplace else. Well, that is what you call LIFE, I think.

Oh well.

Let's get back to California 37 and Train. Can you believe that the concert is only two days away? Me either.

I am absolutely ready for it. It is going to be outside, so I am really hoping that the weather cooperates. Last time I checked there was only 30% chance of rain, so that is good. And it has been cooling down in the evenings... another plus. So, I have fingers, toes, and anything else that is crossable... crossed.

Okay, let's get down to the music. I do believe that I referenced a blog or two back that the band did figure out what the problem was for their lack of ongoing success after they achieved success. In other words, just having a couple of great songs doesn't mean that you will continue to put out great songs. I think that there is a lot of pressure once you have made it to continue to make it. Before you make it, you can write whatever you want. After you make it, everyone seems to have an opinion about your music. And that is aside from the fans.

I found what Pat had to say during this studio session very enlightening.



Let's listen to the whole thing...



If if made you think of Billy Joel's song We Didn't Start The Fire at first listen, you are not the only one. Of course, the listing of events is the only thing those two songs have in common. BJ's song spans decades and isn't remotely personal. Train's song is an intimate look at Pat's life. I look at the timeline of it and I see that at various times there was hopelessness there. Gaping hopelessness. Couldn't you feel it? He even says "this is the time I felt most alone."

I love these kinds of songs because he is offering the entire spectrum of his life to date. There was some terrible places, black places, with sunlight filtering in here and there. However, he kept going and then KABOOM... the universe rewarded all of his tenacity with bounty. Train took off. Train crashed and burned. Train took off again. His marriage crashed and burned, but finally he met the true love of his life in 2004, and it was true and good, and he finally felt at home. The lesson is that you can quit at any time on the timeline, but if you do, you won't get the reward.

So, Journey has the right of it DON'T STOP BELIEVING. And so does Train because MAYBE THIS WILL BE YOUR YEAR.

This is another song I just really like off of the new album. They didn't create a Studio Session for it. And it hasn't been deemed radio worthy... yet. But, it is one of my personal favorites.

If I go before I say to everyone in my ballet

Let me take this chance to thank you for the dance
If I run out of songs to sing to take your mind off everything
Just smile, sit a while with the

Sun on your face and remember the place we met
Take a breath and soon I bet you'll see
Without you I would never be me
You are the leaves of my family tree

Sing together
If you knew me from the very start,
Or we met last week at the grocery mart
Just sing together
It's the least that I can do
My final gift to you
Oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oooo

When I'm past the pearly gate, I will find some real estate
Where we can settle down and watch the world go round
We'll send down all the love we got and let them know we got a spot
For them to be and it's all free,

The sun on your face and remember the place we met
Take a breath and soon I bet you'll see
Without you I would never be me
You are the leaves of my family tree

Sing together
If you knew me from the very start,
Or not at all you're still a part, just
Sing together
It's the least that I can do
My final gift to you
Oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oooo
Oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oooo

So, let's all sing together. If you knew me from the very start, or not at all you're still a part of it all. It's the least that I can do.

Without you, I would never be me.


image found on facebook, yet again
Don't ask...