Diabetes Blog Week Day 5: More Than My Diabetes

Sandbar at sunset.
Photographed as found.

Today is the last day of Diabetes Blog Week (THANK YOU KAREN,) and it's all about our passions besides diabetes. 
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I am more than just my diabetes and I certainly have other interests besides diabetes. 

I love cooking and love cooking for others.
I love traveling and I need to do more.
Children and animals make me smile and I try and spend as much time as I can with both.
Like my mother and her mother before her, I love gardening and growing things. 
Getting my hands dirty and growing veggies and flowers from seeds, to sprouts, to full bloom and on the vine make me feel accomplished, peaceful and whole.
Books have been my life long friends, going to the movies is and attending plays are important to my my emotional well-being. Speaking of, I love performing and I miss it. 
Yours truly is a fan of all things sparkly because I am my mothers daughter.

I have a large collection of antique jewelry (some real, mostly costume, all sentimental) spanning the decades and I love learning about and finding new pieces. 
My collection adds flair to my most basic outfits - as well as my most fab.

Native American jewelry are stories in silver and stone and I love learning and wearing those stories. 

The beach and the ocean bring me peace  - I love being in and on the water - along the shore and in the waves are where I feel most free and centered.

Same goes for art in all mediums, though photography is the one I actually work in.

I LOVE  photography. 
Taking photographs is way for me to see the world through different lenses and perspectives - it’s also my therapy.

There was at time I loved to have my picture taken - now I like to be the one taking the pictures.
Some of my photos are in this post and I hope they make you smile!

Stormy seas.  

Autumn on the beach~

Rodin's "The Thinker."
Philadelphia, PA
The Women's March/1/2017

Architectural Details

Salad Days~

LAUGHING

The three amigas

#TBT #dblogweek Day 4: The Diabetes Stuff That Brings Me Down

It's day four of Diabetes blog week.

Today's topic is a #TBT from the 2014 Diabetes Blog Week. It's all about emotions and diabetes - the diabetes stuff that brings us down - and what brings us back up.  

May is Mental Health Month - diabetes impacts our physical and mental well being. Depression and diabetes go hand in hand - talking about it is key -as is know that we aren't the only ones who struggle. 

Seeking help and support from friends and professionals can only help. 

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There's so much about diabetes that brings me down.

The fact that diabetes is 24 X&, 365 days a year with no time off for vacations or good behavior and causes me to experience diabetes burnout more often than I’d liked

The stress that diabetes puts on me (both physically and mentally,) has the ability to make me feel like Atlas - and sometimes I fear that the weight will cause me to topple. 

Add the stress that diabetes has put on my family, and my friends with and without diabetes, and it is easy to become the girl with the weight of the world on her shoulders

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The fact that the public, for the most part - never gets diabetes right, and the same can be said for diabetes and the media. 

Diabetes Media Muck-ups put all of us on the defense and has us perpetually correcting the population. 

Don't even get me started on blood sugar craziness!

Then, there’s the people I’ve loved and lost to diabetes - I miss them them terribly and when I think about diabetes cutting their lives short it makes cry and makes me relive the grief of losing them.

Losing friends to diabetes is fucking hard.

Losing my sister Debbie to diabetes was fucking excruciating. 

Seeing my parents hearts break because they lost their child to diabetes was devastating. 

It changed our lives and our family dynamic forever - and to this day, we are are still dealing with the ramifications of Debbie's death.  

Personally, there are moments when I wonder the type of person I would have been and the life I would have led had diabetes not taken Debbie from us. 

And on those days, when diabetes brings me down into the darkness - light peaks through the darkest of clouds, and I am reminded of the gifts that diabetes has brought me.  

Those gifts are you. 

Our community, the Diabetes Online Community, has given me so much support, friendship and love. 

My diabetes friendships that span the globe, enrich my world, and have given me a strong sense of self and determination. 

Diabetes has given me a voice and requires me to speak up for myself and for the people I love. 

Diabetes (and my mom,) taught me to pull myself up by bootstraps and pull myself out of the muck. 

Sometimes on my own, other times I can’t do it alone. 

And in those times when I am struggling to stand up in, and get of the muck the most,  the Diabetes Online Community lifts me up, dusts me off, and acts as my compass and travel companions on the road to better. 

And I am grateful for the gifts. 

****FTR, I know I missed day 3 of Diabetes Blog Week. 

I will make it up and post, but I didn't want to get behind on day 4, too! 

Diabetes Blog Week Day 4: Changes - Where The Hell Do I Start?

Today is day four of Diabetes Blog Week - And today's topic is all about changes in all dimensions that you'd like to see re: diabetes.
Here are my thoughts (OK, it's a rant,) on the topic of "changes," and I hope you can relate~
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Changes when it comes to diabetes - where the hell do I start? 

For starters, I’d like the Diabetes Blame Games to cease. 

I’d like people (John and Jane Q Public & media folks, THIS MEANS YOU,) to get the diabetes facts instead of perpetuating the diabetes myths - regardless of the type.

Hey media - people with diabetes don’t attack, zombies do. 
Don't report about someone going into insulin shock while driving and and needing insulin - Insulin is the last thing they need and your going to end up killing someone. Ever hear of Sunny VonBulow - GOOGLE IT.

And stop with the whole “he or she suffered from a a diabetes/diabetic attack.” 

And while I’m at it, stop using phrases  “suffers with diabetes, or diabetes sufferer.” 

I don’t suffer with diabetes. I’m annoyed and frustrated by diabetes at times, but it’s part of me and if I thought of myself as continually suffering with diabetes - I’d never be able to get out bed in the morning. 

And enough with the diabetes story lines on TV and the movies that are completely wrong! Seriously, WTF. 

And while I’m on a roll - I don’t want to hear that something is “diabetic friendly." 

I don’t consider something jacked up with carbs that causes me extreme gastrointestinal distress, friendly at all. 

Here’s something to marinate on: The rift between the types will stop because we are all different branches on the same diabetes family tree and the whole blame game T1 Vs T2 and ignoring those with  LADA1.5 has got to go the way of the Dodo bird. 

 I’d be thrilled if people stopped telling me that if I just gave up all things white, I’d be off the demon insulin in 30 days - for the record you can’t cure or reverse diabetes in 30 days - if it were that easy none of us would be blogging about diabetes and Pharma would lose a valuable cash cow. 

Speaking of Pharma, I’d love it my insulin expenses, pump supplies, and test strips (with insurance btw,) didn’t equal a God damned Mercedes car payment every month.

Speaking of insurance, they don’t make generic insulin, I need that shit to live, so stop charging an arm and a leg for  one freaking bottle of my elixir of life!

And reality check, 10X3 does not = thirty days worth of insulin pump supplies. 

Also, I can’t effectively maintain good blood sugars if you only allow me to test 3 to 6 times a day. 

And speaking of the cure - If I one more Dr./Organization says we’re 5 to 10 years from the cure, I will go so damn Jersey on them and they won’t know what hit them. 

My list of changes could go on, but I don’t have all day and neither do you. 

So yeah, I want changes when it comes to diabetes - and between you and me - it’s up to us, as people living with diabetes to make those changes happen.

Together, we need to yield our collective super powers and be the change - And I know we can do it! 

Diabetes Blog Week Day 3: Just In Case

It's day 3 of the sixth annual Diabetes Blog Week and it's all about about "cleaning out."  
I'm not always neat - but I'm freakishly organized when it comes to diabetes supplies. 
Ironical because I'm a self admitted diabetes hoarder - and I have no problem admitting that. 
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I have shelves in my hallway closet devoted to diabetes supplies. 
Pump supplies needles, and lancets. Extra glucose meters that were sent to me that I’ve reviewed. I keep my own test strips boxes in my desk drawer, all lined according to their expiration date and always within reach. 
I keep watch on my diabetes supplies - making sure I have enough to keep me safe - and then some -and I don’t throw anything out  - I keep everything - Just in case life happens. 
Just in case I get too many error readings on my glucose meter or have bronchitis and go through test strips like water. 
Just case my new infusion site is a dead spot and sucks figuratively, but not literally. 
Just in case I get all dolled up and wear a dress, which requires that I wear Spanx - for both my belly and as a place to secure my insulin pump. SPANX kill infusion sites - every woman who wears an insulin pump knows that. 
Just in case the sticky part of my infusion site stops sticking, or I walk by doorknob that yanks me back two feet and rips out my infusion site quicker than you can say "what the fructose!”
Just in case I’m battling a nasty cold/flu/sinus infection or a cortisone shot that requires me to quadruple my hourly insulin requirements - depleting both my longevity of my infusion site and dwindling my insulin supply. 

Just in case my insurance drops me. 

Just in case of a natural disaster that shuts my local pharmacy down for 6 months. 

Just in case my last bottle of insulin hits the tile floor before my RX is due to be filled.

Just in case is a term people living with diabetes know all to well and live with daily. 

Just in case turns us into diabetes supply collectors - luckily there’s a book for that. 

Just in case has become a diabetes fear, safety net and war cry all rolled into one. 

Just in case is a part of or lives... and our lives with diabetes. 

Diabetes Blog Week: Moments ~

 Day two of Diabetes Blog Week - And it's all about the moments we keep to ourselves. 

We share so much of our lives on line, it makes sense to me that we keep some moments private to keep us relatively sane.

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I share a hell of a lot on my blog - the good, the bad, and the diabetesalicious moments in my life. And I do my best to be as balls out honest re: what I share with you guys, I really do. 

I find writing about life and life with diabetes extremely cathartic - And maybe it’s selfish, but I feel better when I put proverbial pen to paper and find strength in writing and reading what others write about their D lives. 

But there are some moments that are mine and mine alone - some moments/thoughts I keep deep within and I don’t know if I’ll ever share them on the Internet - And that’s OK. 

I’m allowed to keep a few things close to the cuff when it comes to my life and my life with diabetes - So are you. 

There are other moments that aren’t mine to share with the masses, because they aren’t my stories to tell - moments told to me in confidence by others who needed an ear to listen and a shoulder to lean on - and I respect the sanctity of those moments, guard them closely and keep  them “in the vault,” forever.

In my opinion, it's those small moments that we keep to ourselves or share privately with others that allow us to give the majority of our moments so freely and straight from the heart, to the DOC - And I'm cool with that~

Diabetes Blog Week: I Can...... I Have... And I Will Continue~

Today is the first day of Diabetes Blog Week - The brain child of Karen over at Bittersweet Diabetes. Today's topic is "I can," and I love that topic.
Here's my "I Can" post - I hope you dig it~  
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I Can… I Have… And I Will Continue. 
I’ve traveled the world and eaten cupcakes on two different continents, I’ve slept in at least 5 different different time zones and 11 different countries. 
I’ve tried to make the Buckingham Palace Guards smile and laughed out loud when I encountered the Manneken Pis in Brussels. 
I cried when I arrived and departed Italy and left a little piece of my heart there - The same can be said about a waiter from Spain I met in Brussels - but that's for another blog post. ;) 
I’ve watched the sun rise and set in Hawaii and climbed through the mist to damn near the top of Diamond Head Mountain.
I hiked a Flatirons trail the Easter after my dad passed, snacking on peanut butter and honey sandwiches and finding God in the views.
I’ve worked jobs I’ve loved and jobs I’ve hated - some physically demanding (waitressing in college at a beach resort), and most mentally challenging.  
I’ve parasailed over the ocean, snorkeled in the waters of Isla Mujeres  - back when it still had, but was quickly losing it's status as a small fishing village - And came this close to missing the last ferry back to Cancun - running frantically down the pier and screaming in spanish for the ferry to stop. 

I climbed to the top of Chichén Itzá’s, El Castillo Pyramid (climbing down was a lot more difficult,)  and watched in awe as the shadow of the snake appeared down its side during the Spring Equinox. 

I’ve paddled my long board out past the pier and rode it damn near the shore, jet skied 60 miles along the Chesapeake and the ocean - all with diabetes. 
I’ve gone camping in Providence town Massachusetts (not a fan - I like hotels - I’m more into glamping,) so I could hitch a ride at dawn on the The Portuguese Princess - whale watching to my hearts content, during the spring migration. 

I’ve performed on stages and was a damn fine Audience Coordinator for a damn fine cooking show. 
I am practicing my craft as a writer and because of diabetes,  I found and became part of the Diabetes Online Community. And it’s because of my diabetes and my community that I’ve found my calling and my passion and became a Diabetes Advocate - SO thanks for that, guys.

And I've lived - And continue to do so - when others I loved with diabetes did not. 
And I think about them everyday - And wished the Diabetes Online Community had been there for them. 

Here’s the thing - There’s nothing I can’t do with diabetes - except make insulin - everything else is game on. 
Does diabetes get in the way sometimes and require me to plan things out more than most?
Yep, it does -and it can be a real pain in the ass sometimes, too - but that’s OK. 
I’ve found that the only limits I have because of my diabetes are the limits I set for myself. 
If I think I can’t - than I won’t - and that goes for everything in my life, including diabetes. 
It’s easy for anyone to say they can’t - because doing and becoming is fucking scary - busted pancreas or not. 
Facing the what ifs can be daunting and has the ability to stop us in our tracks. 
And there have been times in my life where I’ve let the what ifs/and the I cants get the best of me and I allowed them to keep me frozen in my tracks. 

But I’m done with that - And I’m all about embracing the I CAN, the I WILL and the I AM  in all aspects of my life.. and my life with diabetes.

But  when I do encounter those moments of self doubt and the "I cants" start creeping towards me - I will turn to the DOC - because I know you will give me the strength to plow past the "I cants" and arrive at destination I CAN with bells on!