Hey, I haven't been blogging!


Yeah! 


I've been busy with so many things, I am overwhelmed!
Our song for the day is a song I never thought I would be singing when things are upbeat, relationships are at its peak and hearts are so filled with contentment.


I have always blogged about this special person to me, who fortunately is the one I want to say sorry with.  I cannot forget the time she was crying because of me.  It was such a giant guilt freezing my soul that is grabbing me back to that past.


It is alright to go back to the past as long as you already know where you are heading in the future.  Yes, I have already focused myself into the future. I have already taken a few steps into stabilizing that future that is why I have all the guts now to look back.


I just want to say sorry! She may not be the most beautiful girl you have seen or you may still have to see but if you happen to see the most beautiful girl in the world, tell her I'm sorry.


Thanks!


Most Beautiful Girl lyrics
Charlie Rich, 


Hey. Did you happen to see the most beautiful girl in the world?
And if you did, was she cryin' ... cryin'.


Hey. If you happen to see the most beautiful girl that walked out on me.


Tell her I'm sorry.
Tell her I need my baby.


Oh, won't you tell her that I love her.


I woke up this morining, realized what I had done.
I stood alone in the cold, grey dawn, and knew that I lost my morning sun.


I lost my head, and I said some things.
Now comes the heartaches that the morning brings.


I know I lost, but I couldn't see.
( From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/c/charlie-rich-lyrics/most-beautiful-girl-lyrics.html )
I let my world slip away from me.


So, hey. Did you happen to see the most beautiful girl in the world?
And if you did, was she cryin' ... cryin'.


Hey. If you happen to see the most beautiful girl that walked out on me.


Tell her I'm sorry.
Tell her I need my baby.


Oh, won't you tell her that I love her.


If you happen to see the most beautiful girl that walked out on me.


Tell her I'm sorry.
Tell her I need my baby.


Oh, won't you tell her that I love her.

FLY WITH ME

When you try to dream and fly but never reach the sky. Do you ask yourself, do you ever wonder why? Then you close your wings and hide, you never want to see the sky. 

Can’t you see the children playing, running under the sun? Can’t you hear them singing with hearts and voices as one? `Cause they believe in love, they believe in love! 

Refr. Come with me to the sky, let us fly! Open up your wings an well shall go up high! Just believe that you and I will fly together, if we are one, we can fly beyond the sky! 

//:Only love can make you free and simple as a child, and you never fear `cause you know someone’s at your side. Our strength is unity, so come an fly with me:// Refr. 
//:Come with me to the sky and fly with me:// (3x) //: Fly with me :// (fade out)




I attended the mass sponsored by one of the government agencies here.  This song was lined up by the choir which they sung during the communion. I had goose bumps as soon as I figured out that I am so familiar with the song which I haven't heard for such a long time!


When I was in college, i knew I was a "junk" because I didn't know where to go. I tried everything one could ever imagine only to end up debunking my religion, including the negation of God's existence.  I did all things which I thought I could manifest human strength and superiority... and naturally, my spirit died.


When one's spirit dies, no action would seem to become right; no decision would turn out to be great; no word would turn to be helpful. Nothing. One wakes up not knowing where to go, what to do or whom to go with. It was a very boring, deafening, killing and solitary life although you are surrounded by people you think your friends.


Friends may be physically there with you but because your outlook have gone awry, no one can understand you; no one to talk to; no one to hang on to- not even your family.


I was in deep slumber. I shied away. I was only with few people whose interest I could hardly get into my system. That was me before.


I have flown above the clouds and it was amazing. Of course I meant that I boarded the plane and looked at the awesome creature of God which I couldn't have experienced if I denied the revival of my spirit.  I  fly a lot lately that is because God has given me back my strength and continuously equip me to put my head high while my heart is still under His control.

This is probably a love story, or a no-love story for the lack of it. I want to talk about Juliet, a girl friend of mine back in college. This song, because it bears the name Juliet (with Romeo) kept playing in my head. Why? It reminds me so much of Juliet.

One thing about her is, she is deep. I have lived majority of my life practically along the sea shore but it was only her who told me the calming effect of just looking at the sea, and feeling its breeze touching your skin. Indeed, I haven't noticed that. All I know, when I am at the sea, it's time to learn how to swim.

She said the sea calms you mind… and perhaps even the heart.

Aside from being a deep-thinker, Juliet is broad minded. How broad? At her teen age, she has already felt the urge of helping this country. When I was her age or even younger, all I thought of was my survival - for our family to survive. But her thoughts have gone farther than her family, her community to the ends of how this country could liberate itself from its known enemies.

I have always been a law-abiding person. When it comes to family curfew, I am to the dot. When it comes to family chores, I accomplish them. I do what I was told. Juliet on the other hand, taught me that there is nothing wrong at questioning those authorities giving such command, including your parents. She didn't teach me to disobey the rules, she just reminded me that it is sometimes healthy to know the reason why some rules have to be questioned and know its purpose.

She seemed to have a very precise mission in life; i didn't. In fact, I could hardly fathom her dreams. For me, they were just too deep for me to ponder on or maybe, as I have always told myself, I am too young for such a stuff. I did try to emulate her; I took her steps, I followed her advise, I learned a lot from her, I admired her so much but for the span of two years that I have known her, I was overwhelmed. My mind boggled for it wasn't prepared to address the issues of liberty, of democracy, of equality and of all that she has taught me and for everything that we did together. I went away and tried to find my own freedom until such time that I would learn how to secure freedom for somebody else. My mind has grown deeper and broader as hers probably have gone deepest and broadest (pardon my word play).

She was deep and I was just starting to learn how to swim. Over a decade thereafter, I am now in that deep water she was in before. I now know how to swim and is so much ready to dive deeper into the sea we call life - she called it life in the third world. Perhaps, 20 more years thereafter, Juliet will still be the same Juliet that I have known. And the Philippines that I have known long before I met her, when I was with her and now far away from her, is still the Philippines as it is.

"We were both young when I first saw you…" and we will see each other again soon, I hope.

LOVE STORY

We were both young, when I first saw you
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
I’m standing there, on a balcony of summer air

I see the lights, see the party, the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
You say hello, little did I know…

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said “stay away from Juliet”
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don’t go…
And I said…

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone
I’ll be waiting, all there’s left to do is run
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess,
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes

So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet, because we’re dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while
Oh, Ohhh

Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said “stay away from Juliet”
But you were everything to me
I was begging you, please don’t go…
And I said

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone
I’ll be waiting, all there’s left to do is run
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes

Romeo save me, they’re trying to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it’s real
Don’t be afraid, we’ll make it out of this mess
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes
Oh, Ohhh…

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town
And I said

Romeo save me, I’ve been feeling so alone
I keep waiting, for you but you never come
Is this in my head, I don’t know what to think
He kneels to the ground and pulled out a ring and said

Marry me Juliet, you’ll never have to be alone
I love you, and that’s all I really know
I talked to your dad-you’ll pick the white dress
It’s a love story, baby just say…yes…
Oh, Ohhh… Oh, Oh, Ohhh…
We were both young when I first saw you.

TELL THE WORLD OF HIS LOVE

I watched in the news today that the World Youth Week celebration is being held in Spain. A local counterpart is being held at the Ateneo de Manila University participated in by youth from all over the country.

I remember when the Blessed Pope John Paul IV visited the Philippines in 1995. I remember it not because I was a participant. I remembered it because it feels special to be visited by the Pope carried by a custom-made vehicle exclusive for Papal use as I watched it on TV.

One of the memories that World Youth Day remind me is my girl friend back in college. Yes, she was lucky enough, as a senior high school student back then, to be chosen as a participant in that historical event, which to me, turned out to become a very significant event because of her.

She talked about her experiences during the celebration. She, and her mates were lucky enough to be housed by good people who provided shelter for them while they are in the City. She was from the Bicol Region and so the need to be housed by family that they are not familiar with while attending the celebration. I think it was a pre-arranged accommodation.

I never thought that kind of arrangement was possible especially in Manila. That knowledge just proved that I wasn't really familiar with how people in Manila deal with such an occasion. I didn't even know that there are parents who allow their children, 12 hours bus-ride from Bicol to Manila, to join such a crowded celebration. I have never experienced that. I was always taught to stay away from crowd, from the City, not to be too far away from family.  But her experience was different and I found it extra ordinary thus the need for me to be blogging about it. haha!

This is all for now. Til next entry folks!

Here is the lyrics of the song. A blessed Sunday everyone!

Tell The World Of His Love

For God so loved the world

He gave us Him only Son

Jesus Christ our Savior

His most precious one

He has sent us His message of love

And sends those who hear

To bring the message to everyone

In a voice loud and clear

Let us tell the world of His love

The greatest love the world has known

Search the world for those who have walked

Astray and lead them home

Fill the world's darkest corners

With His light from up above

Walk every step, Every mile, Every road

And tell the world, Tell the world of His love

(Tell the world of His love)

Lyrics www.allthelyrics.com/lyrics/jamie_rivera/

(Tell the world of His love)

Our Lord our savior our king

Emmanuelle prince of peace

Begotten of the Father's love

Born to set us free

Let heaven and earth sing His phrases

His righteousness proclaim

Let every heart rejoice in His love

And magnify His name

Let us tell the world of His love

The greatest love the world has known

Search the world for those who have walked

Astray and lead them home

Fill the world's darkest corners

With His light from up above

Walk every step, Every mile, Every road

And tell the world, Tell the world of His love

(Tell the world of His love)

Let us tell the world of His love

The greatest love the world has known

Search the world for those who have walked

Astray and lead them home

Fill the world's darkest corners

With His light from up above

Walk every step, Every mile, Every road

And tell the world, Tell the world of His love

(Tell the world of His love)

Tell the world of His love

Alright, this is a nice song. When it comes to melody, it will surely captivate your ears. However the song talks about a lost love... one that just disappears for no reason.


Then I was reminded of a story of my friend who said his love disappeared for the reason that he felt neglected.


In a relationship, sometimes it is nice to feel that one is needed.  It may be too tasking, that is why I said "sometimes" one has to feel that they are needed, especially for the guy who feels that he has to serve his partner as much as he can, as much as he is needed.  You know how guys tend to be protective all the time.  It's not as if being protected means admitting that a woman is weak.  It's probably just nature.


Everyday, most of the decisions are coming from the girl and out of courtesy, the guy gives way.  But it didn't do well between them, at least for the guy. He just though everything would turn out all right but it didn't. Their daily arguments, struggles and decisions in life originated from the girl.  Bravo to the girl for being able to handle relationship.  But relationship is a two-way process. 


The girl was too strong, the girl was so sure of what she was doing and the guy, who is so overwhelmed at what the girl could do, didn't feel his existence anymore, much less his importance to her life.


Out of the blue, the guy just said "I am exhausted" - exhausted for trying to capture the girl's attention and be noticed in at least voicing out his feelings.  He was duped into believing that the girl can do it so what is his use?  It even didn't occur to the guy that the women will be hurt.  No inkling at all.


He said goodbye. Goodbye is a hurting phenomenon and he didn't even realize that the woman will surely be hurt. He didn't see it coming, he did not have an idea that a strong woman could actually feel hurt.


It must have been love, they could have been a perfect couple... but it's over now.  Worst, they just parted ways like the never shared love each other.


It is always sad when lovers become enemies.  I myself, cannot understand it. Why?




Lyrics of the song
IT MUST HAVE BEEN LOVE


Lay a whisper on my pillow 
Leave the winter on the ground 
I wake up lonely, is there a silence 
In the bedroom and all around 

Touch me now, I close my eyes 
And dream away... 

It must have been love, but it's over now 
It must have been good, but I lost it somehow 
It must have been love, but it's over now 
From the moment we touched till the time had run out 

Make believing we're together 
That I'm sheltered by your heart 
But in and outside I turn to water 
Like a teardrop in your palm 

And it's a hard winter's day 
I dream away... 

It must have been love, but it's over now 
It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without 
It must have been love, but it's over now 
It's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows 

It must have been love, but it's over now 
It must have been good, but I lost it somehow 
It must have been love, but it's over now 
From the moment we touched till the time had run out 

Here is a song from Phish.  It talks about crowd control which is the title of the song.  I remember a scenario where people are gathered during a political rally.  Those were the days when Filipino people grew tired of the Arroyo administration so there were political rallies left and right, especially in the National Capital Region commonly referred to as Manila.

If you are a television viewer from outside Manila, particularly here in the province and especially abroad (there are Filipinos around the world) and looking at the velvet rope together with the noisy crowd and chaotic flow of the traffic, for sure one will get worried. I remember a friend of mine, while watching a news about political rallies and barricades, called me and sounded so worried asking about our situation.  I just calmly said we are okay (since we are in the province) and there I realized that the media, especially those engaged in the public affairs, send so powerful message across the world that something is wrong here in the country.  

I do not blame them.  It is part of their job to inform other people about the chaos in our country but please bear in mind that political rallies are part of people's freedom of expression.  When the presidential palace places barricades around its territory, it is just protecting itself from trouble.  These political events in our country is not really new to me because I was exposed to such activism during my college days.  As students of State University, one cannot help but try to defend the country in whatever capacity you can.

Thank you for your time.

Lyrics of the song

CROWD Control - Phish

Listen now I'm talking
I've been here for weeks
Waiting in this growing crowd
Staring at my feet

Chorus:
The world around me's turning
I'm just standing still
The time has come for changes
Do something or I will

I'm a feather in a storm
I'm a raindrop in the sea
If I don't get enough of you
I'm a lighter shade of me

Sisters, brothers all around you
There's a devil in the crowd
Meet his eye and it's the end of time
If you're praying don't be loud

It's crowded in the lowland
But the fools stay on the hill
You control us now
You have the reins
Do something or we will

So show us why we came here
Before we lay on the ground
Give it to us loud and clear
Make the devil turn around

Lyrics lifted from: http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Crowd-Control-lyrics-Phish/D0CCDDD48BA9D6C348256DF2000EFFFA

Facebook is such a powerful site... it unearths old memories because you will find old friends there, even old enemies.  I consider everyone my friend and I have this presumption that they feel the same way too as soon as they accept your request to add them in your friend's list.


There are persons who are hard to find but you know you just have to give a try, everyday, even a couple of minutes in searching for them.  I am hoping I could find them somehow, in what ever social media there is today. Google, Yahoo, Facebook, Friendster, MySpace, NamesDB name it.


I keep searching because despite of the loss of other things especially photos that you have shared together, the mind, the greatest databank man has ever known, is still there to remind you how good or bad you have been.


Last night, I found this person that I have been looking for for sometime already.  The person I have been sending letters or greeting cards in the last known address saved in my mind.  All sent but no reply.


There is a feeling that they don't like you or still hate you or just completely deleted you in their memory.


So when I found this person in Facebook... there was shock, shame, guilt, sadness in me.  But looking at the photos of this person, you know that they are happy and the only thing that would make them sad is to remember you.  


The question now is... do you still push yourself into getting their attention or just leave them as happy as they are now?  If you choose the latter, where would the efforts of searching for them go?


May I ask for your opinion?




I Miss You - Klymaxx


VERSE ONE
Thought I heard your voice yesterday
Then I turned around to say that I loved you 
Then I realized that it was just my mind 
playing tricks on me....

It seems colder lately at night
and I try to sleep with the lights on
Everytime the phone rings
I pray to God it's you
I just can't believe
That we're through...

CHORUS
I miss you (I miss you...)
Theres no other way to say it
And I, I can't deny it.
I miss you (I miss you...)
It's so easy to see 
I miss you and me........

VERSE TWO
Is it done and over this time?
Can we ever change our minds?
But it's our first love...
all the feelings that we used to share...
I refuse to believe that you don't care.

CHORUS
I miss you (I miss you...)
There's no other way to say it
And I, I can't deny it.
I miss you (I miss you...)
It's so easy to see 
I miss you and me........

BRIDGE
I've got to gather my senses together
I've been through worse kinds of weather
If it's over now (over now) 
be strong (be strong)
I can't believe that you're gone...
I've got to carry on.

CHORUS
I miss you (I miss you...)
It's driving me crazy
I don't want to live without you.
I miss you (I miss you...)
It's so easy to see
I miss you and me............ 


(Lyrics from http://www.lyrics007.com/Klymaxx%20Lyrics/I%20Miss%20You%20Lyrics.html)

The month of March is celebrated as the Women's month celebration here in the Philippines. Ever since I was in college, I learned a lot about being a woman, about their (our) struggles.

During my college days, I always see to it that majority of my research papers is related to women or feminism. Those were the days when equality of rights was still being initiated in our country. This is partly attributable to Cory Aquino's rise to Presidency. This is one of the reasons why I loved Cory. Then I got acquainted with the life and works of Mother Theresa, Princess Diana, Aung San Suu Kyi of Myanmar, Margaret Thatcher of Great Britain then I revisited the life and works of Saint Joan of Arc. I really did not have to go far because, as stated in the song below, we have had women revolutionist here in the Philippines: Tandang Sora, Hule, Urduja, Gabriella etc.

At the start of this month, I know in my heart, without thinking, that somehow I will be a part of this marvelous celebration so when a list of activities was being circulated in our office, I wrote my name on all the activities therein. It was as if I really did not have to think at all. I joined the forum and the tree planting activities. We ended the celebration without the necessary bang but for me it was all that's worth it, simply because being a woman, I have been proud to be one.

We planted trees, mangrove trees.

In my mind, I am convinced that I did something beneficial today, not only manifesting my oneness with the celebration but in helping back mother nature. It was a tiring day for me but it's really worth it.

Thank you for reading. I will post some pictures soon so for now, I am leaving you with the lyrics of the song and my translation. I hope this helps.


BABAE (WOMAN)
By Inang Laya

Kayo ba ang mga Maria Clara (Are you Maria Clara) *Character from Jose Rizal's novels
Mga Hule at mga Sisa (The Hules or Sisas) *Character from Jose Rizal's novels
Na di maruning na lumaban? (Who do not know how to fight)
Kaapiha’y bakit iniluluha? (Crying over abuses/maltreatment)
Mga babae, kayo ba’y sadyang mahina? (Women, are you innately weak?)

Kayo ba ang mga Cinderella (Are you the Cinderellas) Cinderella - the fairy tale princess
Na lalake, ang tanging pag-asa? (Whose only hope are men)
Kayo nga ba ang mga Nena (Are you the Nenas) Nena - name for a prostitute
Na katawan ay ibinebenta? (Whose body/flesh is sold)
Mga babae, kayo ba’y sadyang pang-kama? (Women, were you made for bed)

Ang ating isip ay buksan (Let us open our minds)
At lipuna’y pag-aralan, (and study the society)
Ang nahubog ninyong isipan (your shaped/conditioned mentality)
At tanggaping kayo’y mga libangan (and accept that you are for entertainment)
Mga babae, ito nga ba’y kapalaran? (Women, is this fate?)

Bakit ba mayroong mga Gabriela (Why are there Gabrielas) *revolutionary women
Mga Teresa at Tandang Sora* (The Teresas and tandang soras)
Na di umasa sa luha’t awa? (Who did not hope for tears and mercy)
Sila’y nagsipaghawak ng sandata (they all held weapons)
Nakilaban, ang mithiin ay lumaya. (They fought, they desired to be free)

Bakit ba mayrong mga Lisa (Why are there Lisas)
Mga Liliosa at mga Lorena (Liliosas and Lorenas)
Na di natakot makibaka (Who did not fear to fight/protest)
At ngayo’y marami nang kasama? (and who are now accompanied by many)
Mga babae, ang mithiin ay lumaya! (Women whose goal is to be free.)


Copied the lyrics from this blog site: please read on.
http://karlomongaya.wordpress.com/2009/10/11/babae-woman/?like=1&_wpnonce=f11a039478

This was the song playing in my dream last night.  We were together but you did not notice me.  I was there physically but your stares passes through me. The pain I caused you denies my existence. I admit that. I was at fault. I was thinking so deeply, thinking whence you ever accept me and forgive the things I've done.

I was in deep thought when suddenly I felt your arms, from my back, wrapping around my neck.  You were communicating short of saying, everything is all right.  You told me, in my dreams, it was all right.

It was a dream. I know it's not yet okay but... it will take time.

I'll Be Over You - Toto

Some people lives their dreams
Some people close their eyes
Some people's destiny, passes by

There are no guarantees
There are no alibis
That's how our love must be
Don't ask why

It takes some time
God knows how long
I know that I can forget you

CHORUS:
As soon as my heart stops breakin'
Anticipatin'
As soon as forever is through
I'll be over you

Remembering times gone by
Promises we once made
What are the reasons why
Nothin' stays the same

There were the nights
Holdin' you close
Someday I'll try to forget them

CHORUS
As soon as my heart stops breakin'
Anticipatin'
Someday I'll be over you
As soon as my heart stops breakin'
Anticipatin'
Someday I'll be over you
As soon as my heart...

http://www.afn.org/~afn30091/songs/t/toto-ill.htm

I did not see an old friend, I just remember an old song, the very first song why this blogsite was born: "I'll Say Goodby for the Two of Us by Expose"

I just want to hear the song again so I went over youtube and played it. Beside it is a list of related videos or songs and this song came up.

I thought I was over that song but when sentimental moments bite, I can't help but recall. Then I asked "Did I get over you?"

It turned out just right now, not yet. Sometimes I do, but not now... because I know you still hate me for saying goodbye!

Okay, enough emotions. Til next entry!

=========

I'm Almost Over You
Sheena Easton

I saw an old friend of our's today
She asked about you, i didn't quite know what to say
Heard youv'e been making the rounds 'round here
While i've been trying to make tears disapear

Chorus:
Now im almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town
You'll see im almost over you...

You're such a sly one with a cold cold heart
Maybe leavin came easy, but it tore me apart
Time heals all wounds they say and i should know
Coz it seems like forever,
But im letting you go

(chorus)

I can forgive you and soon i'll forget all my shattered dreams
Although you left me with nothing to show
But all misery

( chorus )

When you come back around, after painting the town,
You'll see im almost over you...

I have always dreamed of becoming a lawyer. Back in 1997 when I finally got a chance to read a newspaper article about lady bar topnotcher whose last name is Fernandez from UP College of Law (which I saw from wikipedia her first name to be Cecilia), I got myself so engrossed to the idea that soon, I will make it to Law School. The circumstance of my life back then denied me that opportunity.

I just have to finally write it down here because in just a short while, I too will be hurdling that dreaded, most feared and known to be the hardest exam in the land - the Bar Exams. The year 1997 for lady bar top notchers was repeated the following year (please refer to my source for complete details) and this time from the Law School north of Manila, the University of the Cordilleras.

Priorities in life changed as I was already earning. Then I have to earn more so I could pursue my law school but there came a time that I thought I have to get a Master's degree first. Then ten years after, in 2007, I did what I thought was impossible. I enrolled in Law School and upon seeing my classmates, I knew it wasn't too late for me to try and survive the first semester... and I did. I barely survived it, especially the second semester. But fate had been kind so I passed all my subjects in my first year. Time seem to fly so fast and I suddenly realize that I am already in my fourth year. A little more step then I will soon be entering that Bar exam room. The thought gives me mixed emotions. Happy to have almost made it through law school but afraid to take a step further.

I am afraid but I am going to do whatever it takes and probably will have to drag myself beyond what I think to be my limits. I have so much dreams for myself, for my family, for my mother land. In the end, I would like to be singing one of my favorite David Cook songs at the American Idol "Time of my Life". That is the only song I can only hear right now and I would love to get that time of my life where I can finally see the letters ATTY before my name... God-willing!

Thanks for your time.


Here goes the lyrics of the song from the American Idol website:

TIME OF MY LIFE by David Cook

I’ve been waiting for my dreams
To turn into something
I could believe in
And looking for that
Magic rainbow
On the horizon
I couldn’t see it
Until I let go
Gave into love and watched all the bitterness burn
Now I’m coming alive
Body and soul
And feelin’ my world start to turn

And I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time
To be more than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life

Holding onto things that vanished
Into the air
Left me in pieces
But now I’m rising from the ashes
Finding my wings
And all that I needed
Was there all along
Within my reach
As close as the beat of my heart

So I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time to be
More than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life

And I’m out on the edge of forever
Ready to run
I’m keeping my feet on the ground
My arms open wide
My face to the sun

I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time to be
More than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life
More than a name
Or a face in the crowd
This is the time
This is the time of my life.
This is the time of my life.

This song was introduced to me by my brother. I became more familiar with it and REM because of my borther. He used to be a fan, when we were still in colleg, I just don't know if it still stands true today. I can not recall the latest hit made by REM, and I mean like 2009 hit or song release. I am not really a wide fan, I am just familiar with them particularly with this song.

What was it like losing my religion?

It was not a secret that I once lost my faith, so to speak. I neglected my religious duties and lived life as if my soul didn't matter. Oooops... I didn't intend to say that I've grown bad when I lost my religion. I just think that I did nothing to "nourish my soul" back then. I could say I was really lost, and I lost everything, including my faith to my family. What only mattered was myself.

Hah! Selfish whale, that was me! What I did? I completely debunked that idea that there is a god. I somehow imbibed the philosophy of Nietzche that God is dead... because we killed him. I killed God in my thoughts. I was like a hard disk, erasing every bit of document, file extension and folder name from my memory and worst, I convinced others. However, they were not too shallow to follow my lead. At least I had that consolation. I even forgot my Sunday obligations and got to the point of almost burning the bible that a friend gave me. I was really insane and what I did was really horrible, that I don't want to expound on it anymore.

I really don't want to delve so much on this because I know, religion is a very sensitive topic. All I want to convey to you right now is my dark past. I call that my great divide where I learned so much so that I regain what I usually was: God-fearing. As a last note, let me tell you what I dramed of becoming when I was still a little kid. I wanted to be either a nun or a lawyer. Maybe God wants me to become a lawyer first then be a nun later. Who knows? Who could have guessed the thoughts of the Almighty? At the moment, I am setting aside my ambition to become a nun by becoming a lawyer first. Who knows really? God is full of surprises!

=================================

Lyrics of the song Losing my Religion by REM

Oh, life is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no, I've said too much
I set it up

(chorus)
That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight, I'm
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no, I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

Every whisper
Of every waking hour I'm
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool, fool
Oh no, I've said too much
I set it up
Consider this
Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I've said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream
That was just a dream

(repeat chorus)

But that was just a dream
Try, cry, why try?
That was just a dream
Just a dream, just a dream
Dream

I call this a classic song because Mike Hanopol is practically one of the pillars of the Original Pilipino Music (OPM) upon which I anchored my mini-thesis back in college. I enrolled in a Communication subject which is a Filipino communication project. I remember my teacher there at UP baguio who handled this subject. She is difficult to miss because she is very sweet and someone who would always bring out the best in her students. She is Ms. Anguluan. This class with her is also memorable for me because I sat on the same classroom with the now famous TV Commercial Model/car racing champion Karen Navarette-Anton.

This was a subject that made me fall for my native language all the more. I was able to express my feelings more with the help and encouragement of my teacher. She'd always invite us to express our thoughts, our opinions and recitation time with her was without pressure. I really miss that.

This singer, is one of the reasons why OPM is very much alive today. The list of artist who contributed to the industry is long and I will just name some of them: Heber Bartolome, Pepe Smith, Nanette Inventor, APO Hiking Society, Leah Navarro (my mom would proudly say that she taught Leah in elementary), Florante, Freddie Aguilar (Famous for the song "Anak") and many more.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
My translation of this classic song

May mga taong lumaki sa hirap (There are people who grew up with poverty)
Merong laki sa layaw, puro sarap (There are those born spoiled, a rich life)
Kung siya'y titigan mo, akala mo kung sino (If you look at him, he seemed famous/feeling king)
Hindi na bumababa sa kanyang trono (Who won't step down from throne)

Lahat ng gusto niya, ibinigay na sa kanya (Everything he wanted was granted)
Ngunit wala pa rin siyang kasiyahan (But he still doesn;t have happiness)
Hindi pa makuntento sa kanyang mga bisyo (Not yet contennted with vices)
Nilubog pa n'ya ang sarili sa putik (He immersed himself in mud)

Kilala sa bayan, asal ay gahaman (Known in town as having a greedy attitude)
Malakas sa inuman, istorbo sa daan (Street drunkard, poses disturbance)
Meron pa kayang pag-asang magbago (Is there hope for change)
Ang taong lumaki sa layaw? (To a person who was born spoiled)

Chorus:
Laki sa layaw, laki sa layaw*, jeproks**
Laki sa layaw, laki sa layaw, jeproks
Laki sa layaw, laki sa layaw, jeproks

Ad lib:
Sobra sa bigat, hindi na mabuhat (He is heavy, can't be lifted)
Sobra sa tamad, laging hubad (Over lazy, always naked/topless)
Hindi na n'ya mapigilan ang kanyang mga bisyo (He can no longer control his vices)
Kaya ang bagsak niya'y sa kalaboso. (So he ended in trouble)

Here are some unique words:
LAKI SA LAYAW - is like a person who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. The closeest translation I can think of is a spoiled child so I used the word "spoiled"

JEPROKS - A Filipino slang term for anyone hailing from the projects. Often stereotyped as the cooler, more laid back, and savagely street smart bunch. Almost parallel to being "hood" as Americans would say (BORROWED FROM: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Jeproks)

HUBAD - literally means naked but I put the word "topless" because generally, the song speaks of a guy and a guy who is "hubad" is someone who is shirts-off, just the shirt.

Laki Sa Layaw - Mike Hanopol

Today marks the 26th anniversary of Anak-UP in UP Baguio. I will not be able to attend the gathering because of some immediate concerns and I still have to go to school in the evening.

I was driving a while ago and my niece played the CD of Eraserheads and I was reminded of this song. First of all, I was really impressed with the musical drama employed with the song. In the middle of my song translation below, you will notice the text in blue. In order for you to get what I mean, listen to the music (which I embedded from imeem) then follow the lyrics I cited. This is one of the reasons why I love this band -they never run out of surprises.... well, at least for me.

It was in the early 90s. We were having out Political Science class. This was the time after Cory Administration. It was a military man who succeeded her as the 12th President of the country, Pres. Fidel Ramos. We talked about politics, of course, and analyzed what was going on. For over a year, what our Congress has talked about thus far was about the Iodized salt and an Actor-turned Senator Tito Sotto criticized this song. I was just concentrated on the music so I said, "This person is giving more attention to music than to his job - to make laws."

What was really happening? Is this Senator was just riding on the popularity of the band? Was he not popular enough? Weren't there anything else more benficial to the country to talk about? Aggghhhh!!! Well, he defended himself by saying he will not allow such song to encourage the use of drugs.

But I said, there are two kinds of interpretation: the conotation and the denotation. There are two parts of the song: the lyrics and the music. And so I managed to brush away the attack that this Senator made on my favorite band. It was an expression for everyone's sake! Oh well, this is also my expression, my opinion. The song is still good and it will remain music to my ears because I really appreciate the music.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Alapaap (Clouds)

SLOW, singer was like only reciting a poem


May isang umaga na tayo'y magsasama (There is one morning that we'll be together)
Hayaa't halina sa alapaap (Leave it and let us go to the clouds)
o anong sarap (o how goodtasting/delicious)

DRUMMING Fast chaning the mood (This is what I enjoyed with the song, the drumming and then the fast pace of the song...)

Hanggang sa dulo ng mundo (Until the end of the earth)
Hanggang maubos ang ubo (Until I stop coughing)
Hanggang gumulong ang luha (Until the tears roll down)
Hanggang mahulog ang tala (Until the stars fall down)
Masdan mo ang aking mata (Observe/Notice my eyes)
Di mo ba nakikita (Don't you see)
Ako ngayo'y lumilipad at nasa langit na (I am now flying and in heaven)
Gusto mo ba'ng sumama? (Do you want to come?)
Hindi mo na kailangan ang magtago't mahiya (You don't need to hide and be shy)
Hindi mo na kailangan ang humanap ng iba (You don't need to find another)
Kalimutan na muna ang lahat ng problema (Just forget all your problems)
Huminga ka ng malalim at tayo'y lalarga na (Take a deep breath and we shall go)
Handa na ba'ng gumala? (Are you ready to stroll?)

Ang daming bawal sa mundo (There are a lot od "don'ts" in the world)
Sinasakal nila tayo (We are being strangled)
Buksan ang puso at isipan (Open your heart and mind)
Paliparin ang kamalayan (Free your awareness/mind)

Masdan mo ang aking mata (Obeserve my eyes)
Di mo ba nakikita (Don't you see?)
Ako ngayo'y lumilipad at nasa alapaap na (I am now flying and in the clouds)
Gusto mo ba'ng sumama? (Do you want to come?)

There goes my translation.

Alapaap - Eraserheads

"One can only appreciate the light if one has an experience of darkness."

I majored in Philosophy and Political Science at the University of the Philippines in Baguio City. I was interested in Philosophy because according to my brother, it is a pre-requisite course before one could apply for priesthood. I chose Political Science as my other major because I want to know more about politics and in the end, how am I going to apply it to my life. Both these courses are related the Law, which I am studying right now. University of the Philippines or UP is the premier university in the country being a State University. It would always be a pride to be connected with UP. Baguio City on the other hand, is the "summer capital of the Philippines". It is a tourist spot as well as a "melting pot" of students since it is home to different universities equally recognized in the country.

I quoted the sentence above although I don't know who actually said it. I heard something like that before whence I am convinced that life has to be two-sided. There has to be war in order for us to appreciate peace. Some say it takes losing someone in order to appreciate them. In one of our Social Science class, our professor said, the value of criminals is for our police officers to have something to do - catch the criminals.

I agree. There will always be two sides. As this song says: chose your side now, don't wait for tomorrow...

I also remember a Karen Carpenter Song with such title.

For the meantime, here is the lyrics of the song for the day:
Magkabilaan (two-sided)
by Joey Ayala

Ang katotohanan ay may dalawang mukha (The truth has two faces)
Ang tama sa iyo ay mali sa tingin ng iba (What is right to you is wrong in another's view)
May puti may itim, liwanag at dilim (There is white, there is black, bright and dark)
May pumapaibabaw, at may sumasailalim (There those on top, those at the bottom)

ang tubig ay sa apoy, ang lupa ay sa langit (Water is for fire, the earth is for heaven)
ang araw ay sa gabi, ang lamig naman ay sa init (the sun is for night, the cold is for hot)
kapag nawala ang isa, ang isa'y di mababatid (if one is lost, you won't know the other one)
ang malakas at ang mahina'y magkapatid (the strong and the weak are siblings)

magkabilaan ang mundo (Two-sided world)
magkabilaan ang mundo
magkabilaan ang mundo

ang hirap ng marami ay sagana ng iilan (The hardships of many, the comfort of the few)
ang nagpapakain, walang laman ang tiyan (The one who feeds has empty stomach)
ang nagpapanday ng gusali at lansangan (Those who construct the buildings and roads)
maputik ang daan tungo sa dampang tahanan (Rough is their road towards their simple house)

may mga haring walang kapangyarihan (There are Kings wihtout power)
mayroon ding alipin na masmalaya pa sa karamihan (There are slaves who are more free than most people)
may mga sundalo na sarili ang kalaban (There are soldiers whos enemy is themselves)
at may pinapaslang na nabubuhay nang walang hanggan (and there are those murdered but lives eternally)

magkabilaan ang mundo
magkabilaan ang mundo
magkabilaan ang mundo

may kaliwa't may kanan sa ating lipunan (There is left and right in our society)
patuloy ang pagtutunggali, patuloy ang paglalaban (The struggle continues, the fight keeps going)
pumanig ka, pumanig ka. huwag nang ipagpaliban pa (take sides, take sides now)
ang di makapagpasiya ay maiipit sa gitna (Those who cannot decide are left in the middle)

bulok na ang haligi ng ating lipunan (The pillars of our society are already rotten)
matibay ang pananalig na ito'y palitan (There is a strong conviction to change it)
suriin mong mabuti ang iyong paninindigan (carefully chose your conviction/decision)
pagka’t magkabilaan ang mundo (Because our world is two-sided)

magkabilaan ang mundo
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I translated Magkabilaan with "two-sided" because I am not sure if reversible or convertible is appropriate. I borrowed the term from the Song of Karen Carpenters.

magkabilaan - joey ayala

Day after day of blogging, it seems that the songs written in here are Tagalog, just like this one. I want to blog about my own song diaries in tagalog because I have lots of them. Sometimes, I just brush them off for a while because it's getting too difficult translating them.

Anyway, I will try to translate these songs for everyone's sake. I also love translating just to make other people appreciate our language as well as the thoughts of our local artists in writing their songs.

I am blogging about this song because it reminds me of my UP days, the University that taught me to appreciate my native language; and, the artist or the band whom I admire so much, even until now.

I would like to translate them first:
Hika ang inabot ko (I got asthma)
nang piliting hanggang kanto (when I tried to walk with you up to the corner)
ng isipan mong parang sweepstakes (when you realized it was like sweepstakes)
ang hirap manalo (its too difficult to win)

ngayon, pagdating ko sa bahay (Now when I arrive in the house)
ibaba ang iyong kilay (don't raise your eyebrows)
ayoko ng ingay (I don't like any noise)

huwag mo nang itanong sa akin (Do not ask me)
di ko rin naman sasabihin (I won't say anyway)
huwag mo nang itanong sa akin (Do not ask me)
at di ko na iisipin (And I won't think about it)

field trip sa may pagawaan ng lapis (field trip at the pencil factory)
ay katulad ng buhay natin (is like our life)
'sang mahabang pila mabagal at walang katuturan(one long line, slow, pointless)

ewan ko (I'm not sure)
hindi ko alam (I won't know)
pwede ba'ng 'wag na lang nating pag-usapan (Can we please not talk about it?)

huwag mo nang itanong sa akin ...

Huwag Mo Nang Itanong - Eraserheads

I hope you enjoyed the song. This reminds me of my "sister" Tin. She passed away few years ago. We joined this school organization in the University at the same time and since there are three of us in that batch, we became real buddies. We were made to sing this, because she also had a very nice singing voice. She used to be a choir member back in high school.

I always remember how she was forced to sing this song by our "superiors" (we call the leaders of the organization superiors equivalent to your masters in the fraternity) that night when we had our "finals", the night we are going to take our oath as a fully-pledged member of the organization.

That time was one of my acheivements in life that I won't forget, as often as I have instilled "Tin" in my head. I miss you girl! As the song goes, I won't ask anymore... although sometimes, I wish you would let me know. I remain sis!

Long live Anak-UP!!!