You know that joke about the farmer whose cows are not producing enough milk? A university panel gathers under the leadership of a theoretical physicist. They analyze each aspect of the problem thoroughly and carefully, and after much deliberation produce a report, the first line of which is "First, assume a spherical cow in a vacuum". This joke has become short-hand for some of the reductionist thinking in theoretical physics, but it can just as easily personify the field of statistics, upon which we rely so heavily to inform our evidence-based practices. Here is what I mean. Let us look at four common applications of statistical principles. First, descriptive statistics, usually represented by Table 1 in a paper, in which we are interested in understanding the measures of central tendency such as the mean and median values. I would argue that both measures are somewhat flawed in the real world. As we all learned, a mean is a bona fide measure of central tendency in a norma...