I've been eating weevils.

-Not on purpose, I hasten to add. Though there's an interesting thought: which is worse, to eat weevils on purpose or without knowing it? Without knowing it, you might think, but aha! In that case, you don't know how many you ate, do you?

Oh no, my stomach just turned at that thought. Oops. Anyway. Better explain myself I suppose.

I was sick in the night, without any idea why. Then, just now, I re-opened a bag of nuts that I had been eating from yesterday. Here was I, reading emails without a care in the world- or at least, none that involve live insect feasts- here's me enjoying mixed nuts (especially the cashews, I thought) feeding my face without actually looking down at what was coming into it.
When suddenly I noticed a black mark on a cashew....which wriggled.

OH.
MY.
GOD.

Weevil.

I tipped the lot out on to a plate and only found another two, but WHAT the???? How many WERE there? How many did I eat? How many are stuck in my teeth? Oh no, that's it; that last tooth comment was the last straw I have to go and hurl now.

Don't buy mixed nuts from Lidl. (Don't care if they sue. Sue. Go on! You made me eat live weevils you bastards. uuffff.)