The Friday Five

So, I'm still kind of not speaking to Blogger. After a much needed rest, I decided to post this afternoon. I wrote a witty, funny Friday Five list about my mother, whom I love. Blogger decided to take my post, gnaw on a portion of it then spit it back at me. This was about my mother. She is a saint. The saint of all things leopard print, but still a saint, nonetheless.

So instead of reconstructing my words, I've decided to do a new quick and dirty Friday Five. I'm not even going to spell check it. Here goes....

So every couple has had the talk about "the list" haven't they? You know, the one where you each reveal the five celebrities that you would like your spouse to give you permission to sleep with in the event that you ever ran into them? Jeremy and I had this talk a few months back and we just couldn't come to an agreement on our lists. After you read below, I think you'll understand why.

I took the assignment of coming up with a list very seriously. I did research. I collected data. I even calculated the odds of actually running into these celebrities. I asked Jeremy for an extension on turning my list over to him because I wanted it to be perfect. Here's what I eventually settled on after weeks of inner contemplation and internet research:

1. Gary Oldman. I heart him. He's not the most attractive celebrity, but there is something about him I dig. Also, Uma Thurman dug him once enough to marry him so he can't be all that bad.
2. James Gandolfini. Okay, so he isn't even remotely hot. I definitely don't want to sleep with him. But I would like to just sit in a diner, while he's in the Tony Soprano character, and just breath really heavily and talk all nasally to me. It's something about his power. I just want to have lunch with the guy.
3. David Duchovny. Well, at least until a few weeks ago. Now snagging him just seems like it wouldn't even be a challenge. So, my new #3 is Luke Wilson. Only, I really don't want to sleep with him either. I just want to go bowling with him. He seems really laid back and the lesser of a gamble as far as the Wilson brothers go.
4. Viggo Mortenson. But only when he's dirty like in Hidalgo. When he cleans up and gets himself into a suit he just loses all appeal to me. Maybe he could just come over and do yard work or something for me.
5. James Hetfield. So I know the lead singer of Metallica isn't a dream boat or anything, but still, he's got something that I want. It's not his body, his face or anything like that. I just want to hear him growl at me. It sounds weird, but if you've ever heard a Metallica song, you'd totally get it.

So that's my list. I deliberated over it for weeks. I proudly turned it over to Jeremy and asked him if he'd been working on his. He smiled and said that, indeed, he had. He then grabbed a pen and paper and began writing furiously. I waited anxiously for his list.

Within seconds he was finished. He scooped up his paper, walked over to the refrigerator and stuck his list proudly on the door for me to see. I ran over and pushed him out of the way to get a better look. Here is what Jeremy's list looked like:

1. Susie from down the street.
2. ----
3. ----
4. ----
5. ----

Burn. On me.

Also, there is no Susie from down the street. That I know of.

The Friday Five (Belated and with Interest)

I don't normally post on Saturday. I slacked a little bit yesterday and I didn't get my Friday Five together in time. I have excuses. I totally do.

1. I was carbo-loading. On Tuesday I ate three and a half bagels. In four hours. No kidding. I never eat bagels. I went to work at 5:00 am to help finish up a deadline and in my tired and delirious condition I accidentally downed roughly a million carbs and so much cream cheese. Oh, the cream cheese! It was a lot of effort and so not worth it.

2. I caught Sarah Palin Fever. Don't worry, I don't think it's contagious. I went to the doctor and as it turns out, it's not really even a fever, it just thinks it is. Symptoms include sudden bangs, a penchant for hair clips and the urge to declare war on Russia. My physician has put me on a high dose of antibiotics that were pre-screened to be favorable and not at all hostile to the Sarah Palin Fever. My family has been very supportive and we expect this condition to disappear shortly.

3. To be fair, I also caught Joe Biden Pox. But you know, they aren't so bad. They just itch. But all the sudden I have foreign policy experience. Weird.

4. I had unclean thoughts. Seriously, I did. I have a pile of laundry sitting in the corner of the master bedroom that needs to be done. I know everyone has a pile of laundry somewhere, but I promise you, my pile is of epic proportion. I won't show you a picture of it to prove it because you and my mother will judge me. I thought about doing laundry, I just had no follow through.

5. Jeremy and I were setting goals. At the end of every summer Jeremy and I set aside roughly an hour to take a look at our plans for the upcoming year. We sit down together, consult the experts to make a list, weigh the pros and cons and decide which new television programs on the fall schedule will make our Tivo list. Television is a priority, people. Well, not really, but our precious DVR space is. One foolish program selection now can have negative social, emotional and economic ramifications down the road. Don't even get me started about our decision last year to bypass Madmen for Jeremy's Elk Chronicles. I was left out of so many water cooler conversations about the Madmen's groundbreaking take on office politics (social), I felt regret for not watching it (emotional) and I ended up having to rent season 1 at my local video store (economic).

6. I had to explain the facts of life to my son. Although he's only three, going on four, it was high time Henry and I had the talk. It went a little something like this: "In life, you don't always get what you want, especially during one of our many trips to Walmart. You don't need those Cheetos, that gum, a pair of women's sweat pants or that bucket." And that is a fact. What the little guy needed the women's sweat pants for I'll never know.

7. I became a spotter. Reesie is trying her hand, or foot, at walking these days. She's still a little wobbly and does her best work along the edge of furniture. Still, she's daring and adventurous and has a convenient memory so she thinks she can take off across the room without any help. I'm a little concerned that folks will begin to talk when they see the bruises she's acquiring from some of the falls. So for now, I have the privilege of holding her tiny hand every step of the way.

The Friday Five

Depression makes you see the world differently. It makes you think differently. Recently, I’ve been in a little funk. Nothing serious and certainly nothing that some comfortable sweats and some ice cream couldn't take care of. Only, I don’t eat ice cream. So I’m just down to the sweat pants.

I've noticed my patterns have been off lately due to said funk. Normally, I’ve got some scheme to get out of the house. But the past weekend I behaved a little differently. Below is a list of five things that were out of the ordinary for me.

1. I watched a Dane Cook comedy special…willingly. I actually researched it out, planned ahead of time and revolved my schedule around watching it on Saturday night. What? I have been actively avoiding all things Dane Cook for almost 18 months. To tell you the truth, it hasn’t been that hard. For a while there, he was all over the map. He was in the tabloids, in movies, on Major League Baseball Commercials!(?) But as of late, The Cook has been laying low, under the radar. But for some reason, this weekend, I felt compelled to plop down on the sofa and watch his stand-up. And I laughed.

2. I agree with Lindsay Lohan. Not so much about her well documented additiction to leggings or the aggressive use of self tanner, but on politics. I KNOW. Who saw that one coming? Lindsay, or her publisist wrote the following on her blog about all the uproar regarding her personal family life:

“I think the real problem comes from the fact that we are taking the focus off of getting to know Sarah Palin and her political views, and what she can do to make our country a less destructive place. Its distracting from the real issues, the real everyday problems that this country experiences.”

Not that I'm all for the chick with all the hair clips as Vice President or anything, but I think La Lohan has a point.

3. Vegetables lost their humor. Our kind neighbors brought over a bunch of tomatoes, zucchini and banana squash from their garden this weekend. My husband immediately ran up stairs to show me the impressive array of colors and textures and shapes. Jeremy knows that I love an odd shaped zucchini. Who doesn’t? It’s mother nature’s way of saying ’That’s what she said’. And let me tell you, there were some doozies in there. There were more phallic shaped zucchinis than you could shake a phallic shaped squash at. I found no joy in this what so ever.

4. Vampire Novels. Yes, those books. I’m in the middle of the second one, New Moon, as I’m writing this. By the time I hit the publish button, (in about 20 minutes) I will have completed the final two books of the series. They are that addicting and that fast of a read. I have been riveted by tales of vampires, werewolves and twinkling skin. But I swear, if I have to hear about what a God-like creature Edward is, I’m going to cut Bella. Actually, this wouldn’t be good for her since she’s human and runs around with vampires. Did I mention they were vegetarian vampires? The ladies out there need no explanation. The men folk, however, are rolling their eyes.

Also, I wonder how many fights these novels have caused between husbands and wives? Every female I know that has read one of these books has basically cut herself off from the rest of her life to finish the series. That includes neglecting the housework, dinner and their spouse. I bet somewhere out there is a He-man Woman Haters Club, only it’s a Vampire Haters Club. Google it. I bet it’s out there.

5. Penchant for Musicals. This isn’t so much ‘funk’ driven as it is the time of year thing for me. It’s usually in the fall that all I want to do is rent Grease, Grease II (only to complain about how inferior the sequel is) and West Side Story. I can’t explain it. I won’t even try. Jeremy wishes I would. Actually, he’s usually hunting in September and October so he misses my fun. For all I know, he might even enjoy the outdoors anymore. He may just keep the ruse up to get out of watching all the singing and the dancing. And oh, the dancing!

The only reason I bring the musicals up is that High School Musical 3 is hitting theaters soon. In my weakened condition, if left alone, I’m afraid I might slip out so see this thing. Last time I checked I wasn’t seven. But why does it keep tempting me? I didn’t even like the first High School Musical. I remember watching it one night and Jeremy walking into the room to see my shocked expression. I was babbling something about having to ‘get in the game’ or something. I eventually snapped out of it., but both Jeremy and I agree that I am now dumber for having seen High School Musical. So then why, oh, why would I even be tempted to see the third installment of that mess. Why do I keep typing the title? High School Musical 3. Stop it!

Someone has to do something to snap me out of this funk of bad taste I’m in. Dane Cook? Lindsay Lohan? High School Musical 3? I did it again.

The Friday Five

This week's five is kind of messed up. I'll admit it. I couldn't think of a clever list of things to group together so I went entirely the other way. I pulled up my ongoing list of random thoughts that cross my mind, things I jot down that I find amusing. So here goes, the random thoughts that have crossed my mind in the past four weeks.

1. Dancing for your life. I must have wrote this down during So Yo Think You Can Dance. Okay, so I kind of *heart* that show. I think the contenders on that show really do have some talent. This is not to be confused with Dancing With The Stars. While that show IS entertaining, it was created to showcase C-List Celebrities (at best) waltzing about. Before you think I'm looking down on that show, I'm so not. I'm a casual watcher. I admit it.


No, what I'm talking about is SYTYCD. I should be watching it to see the beautiful choreography and the talented dancers. But I don't. I watch the entire season because I absolutely love the elimination night when the six dancers with the fewest votes must preform a 30 second routine for the judges. And it's not even the dancing on that night that I look forward to. No. It's that dramatic moment when the host, Cat Deely, looks square into the camera and shouts that the dancers must "Dance for their lives!"


Now, I fully understand that these dancers are in no mortal danger as they dance about the stage. But wouldn't it be great if they were? Like what if they had to dance over a pit of fire? What if they had to maneuver through lasers set to trigger small needles filled with poison? A little part of me hoped this would happen each week, but alas, it never did. The only crazy thing I saw this season was when America voted shirtless Will off the show. What were you people thinking? He had no shirt. And he danced. With. No. Shirt.

2. I am strangely drawn to David Hasselhoff. Not in a oh-I-think-he's-so-hawt-way, but more in a dude-I-totally-think-he's-going-to-assault-another-cheeseburger way. Jeremy knows this and respects my strange fixation. Right now, as I'm typing this, Jeremy has called my attention to the television to point out to me that the Hoff is on this very minute and he's dressed as Aladdin. Not intentionally. I don't think. But the man is wearing a puffy shirt and a vest. Sadly, this is not the strangest think this man has done. It's weird, but I must stop what I'm doing to view the train wreck that is the Hoff. Did you know that I have touched the Hoff? Well, not really, but I did touch his car. When he specifically told me not to.

3. That's what she said. I might say this much too much. I even wrote myself a note to stop saying it so often. But for me, it's like word vomit. I just can't seem to help myself. (That's what she said)

4. I don't think I'll ever watch Drumline. I don't think I need to qualify this one. I've had plenty of opportunities, but I've always passed. Honestly, I can't think of a single situation when I'll turn to Jeremy and say, "Know what? I'm itchin' to watch a feel good story about a kid that risked it all to be in a high school marching band and learned a little about himself along the way."

5. "I just had to put my fist down, you know? And when I did, it was sticky!" I jotted that gem of a quote down about three weeks ago. I think it was my friend Sonya who said it. I can't recall. Sounds dirty doesn't it? That's why I wrote it down. I do this with almost everything people say. Especially when I hear it on television.

When Sonya said this, she had no raunchy intentions at all. If I remember it right, her arm was growing tired from holding up an easel at work. When she lowered her arm, there was a thick film of goop on the tri-pod's leg. (That's what she said.)

The Friday Five

For this week's "Five" I asked Jeremy to give me a list of five things he didn't like. He took a deep breath, gave me a thoughtful look and then proceeded to spew the following without stopping.

1. Gas Prices. No explanation necessary.
2. Proprietary Systems. He wouldn't offer an explanation here. He just sat and stared forward with hate in his eyes.
3. Colbee Caillat. Well, mostly her hat. He doesn't really know much about her or her music, he just hates that she often appears wearing a hat. I should let you know here, that Jeremy has a hard time understanding why anyone would wear anything other than a baseball hat. Me included. I had a visor phase a few years ago and he just won't let it drop.
4. Restaurants that don't serve Mountain Dew. Sure, we paid $50 a plate for that prime rib/lobster deliciousness but it wasn't a four star meal because Jeremy wasn't allowed to "Do the Dew" during dinner.
5. Mixed Songs or mash-ups. Jeremy claims that if the artist would have wanted it to sound that way they would have done it themselves. I don't have the heart to break it to him that sometimes artists hire someone to do that on their records and add them as bonus tracks.
6. Frisbee Golf. Again, this is a mix issue with Jeremy. He likes things black or white. Frisbee or Golf. When I asked Jeremy if he thought Tiger Woods ever played frisbee golf, he gave me the silent treatment for about 20 minutes.
7. The windmill clip on both McCain and Obama's ad. This troubles him so much, you guys. If he sees these adds come on television he'll stop what he's doing just to watch it, JUST to make himself angry. I can totally identify. I do the same thing with Sean Hannity.

*NOTE* It was right around this point that I signaled to Jeremy that I had my five things from him. In fact, I had more than I needed. He then announced he had a few more to add.

8. People that interrupt him while he's on a role. Umm. Guess that's me.
9. Not eating oysters every day. He loves 'em.
10. Not having bacon available. From time to time everyone says, "You know, we don't have enough *BLANK* in our diet." Typically, they are referring to something healthy, say like fiber, or iron or vegetables. Not Jeremy. He tells me almost weekly that he thinks his diet may be suffering from not enough bacon.

The Friday Five

This week's Five are the top five band names Jeremy and I came up with while watching Men's Gymnastics. We collected these by just simply writing down whatever Tim Daggett said that sounded funny. Enjoy.

1. Chinese Apprehension -- New punk or emo. Huge hit with the ladies. I have to admit, we struggled with this one. Jeremy insists that Chinese Apprehension would be better put to use as the LP name for Gun's and Roses' long awaited release of Chinese Democracy.
2. Consistent C --Rapper and friend of Kanye. Will be big for a few years and maybe get a reality show on VH1.
3. Risky Elements -- boys pop band trying to pose as rockers. Coordinated clothes, hair-doos and representing almost every ethnic group.
4. Daggett -- grungy rock, maybe the next winner of American Idol. Wears a lot of makeup.
5. Drop Out Hamms -- Punk and oh-so-cool. This band is my favorite.

*Honorable Mention = Highbar Wildman and Huge Apparatus

Album names include:
1. Horizontal to The Floor
2. Mary Lou Moment
3. Second Spot
4. Squirreley Earlier
5. Supple Double Jointed Knees

The Friday Five

So my intentions are to keep The Friday Five short and sweet, but who knows and here goes. That. Totally. Rhymed.

A list of five things that I should be doing right this very minute instead of of writing this. (To all the twelves of my readers out there, you are welcome)

1. I should be packing. The fam will be taking a vacation to the wonderful and cooler (in temperature only) Pacific Northwest where we will be spending a relaxing and somewhat deserved vacation. I've already informed my boss that I've booked our trip on his credit card. He thinks I'm joking. He'll be in Europe so I doubt he'll notice the charges for a while. The time difference between the States and Germany is something like a week long isn't it?

2. I should be catching up on the backlog of recorded programs on TIVO. Now this might seem trivial to most of you, but anyone that knows me (Julee), knows that I am dead serious about my TIVO schedule. You might say, "I just don't have time to watch television". Mkay. Totally not buying it. Television watching is just like working out. You have to MAKE time to do it. It's a commitment, folks. Discipline yourselves.

I just want to clarify that I'm not one of those people who lies around on the couch to watch whatever on television. I'm really not. Well, maybe just a little. I'm not anal about too many things, but lax television habits in my house don't happen often.

Although, who doesn't love it when you just stumble across a good movie on cable? Then you check the listings and an even EVEN BETTER movie is on next! Should we go for three? Bingo and it's your lucky day. It's NOT Shawshank Redemption so you're sticking around.

Let me further clarify. There's nothing wrong with Shawshank Redemption, but seriously, TBS, find something else to broadcast.

3. I should be learning the proper use of parenthesis. (Yes), I (should).

4. I should be thinking of something really funny to wrap this pathetic list up for item number five.

5. I shood run this list through spell checker.

*NOTE* Next week posts about the kiddies shall return. They've been boring for the past week or so. There's only so much motivation you can give a toddler and an infant without breaking the bank or your back.

The Friday Five

This week's installment of The Friday Five is...

The five real mysteries of Scooby-Doo, Where Are You? As of late, our family has been watching a lot of this cartoon. Henry discovered it about six months ago. It's brought back such nostalgia for both me and Jeremy. After watching it over and over, we've noticed that besides the mystery in every episode where the monster is eventually unmasked, we've come up with a few questions of our own.

Now mind you, I'm going to skip over all the obvious questions surrounding this show such as, 'Is Velma a lesbian?' or, 'Does anyone else in the Gang notice that Fred and Daphne always disappear to make sexy time?' or finally, 'Is Shaggy always stoned?' The answers to these questions are, yes, no and yes. In that order.

Here are the questions Jeremy and I ask ourselves each time we hear the Scooby-Doo theme song starting up:

1. What's with all the real estate fraud? Have you ever noticed that almost every episode revolves around this concept? Why don't the 'villains' just take the current land owners to court? Why not old fashioned murder? Not that I'm suggesting violence on a 1970's cartoon, but how did everyone get the revelation to spook people out of their property? And why don't the authorities ever suspect the Gang's involvement in any of this? After all, they're always smack dab in the middle of these elaborate property disputes. And wouldn't the Gang become wise to this eventually? You'd think after you've been chased by one vampire who was eventually unmasked as the old care-taker of the haunted hotel, the next immortal creature you ran across...well, you'd be a little wiser.

2. Why doesn't the Gang pay more attention to their surroundings initially? This would certainly save them at least 22 minutes per day, at least per episode. It would, however, rob us of seeing 'those meddling kids' visit the Snow Ghost in the Himalayas. And how'd that Mystery Machine make it up that hill?

Do you know how many mysteries involved hidden wires, transparent skis, projectors and mirrors? And that's just old school Scooby-Doo. On the What's New, Scooby-Doo? program, the techno-trickery involves, plasma screen televisions mounted to the bottom of boats, elaborate power point technology, lasers and mind operated computers.

If the Gang just would take a closer look at their surroundings and take the time to learn the difference between dry ice and actual smoke, their trips would be a little more hassle free.

3. What's up with Velma and her glasses? Seriously, she's always losing them. Even my three year old gets frustrated with her carelessness with those things. He's all, "Velma! Pick up your glasses already!"

Velma's a smart gal. I bet she gets good grades. Why doesn't she take some of the scholarship money and invest in LASEK eye surgery or at the very least contacts? Do you even know how many ghouls have gotten this close to capturing the Gang while old Velma looks for her specs?

Really, chick. Go see an Opthamologist.

4. Just how does the Gang know the Harlem Globe Trotters and Phyllis Diller? These folks show up, at random, through out the episodes. Don't get me wrong, I love that they have friends in high places, and I'm always for seeing a little Ms. Diller, but a little back story or character development wouldn't hurt either.

5. Why doesn't the Gang ever walk side by side? They always seem to travel in a single file line, one after the other. Additionally, they rarely talk while they walk. They seem to be really interested in what's ahead of them. They all have this goofy look on their face as though they can't wait to get to where it is they are walking, be it a cave in the basement of a haunted house, a wax museum or a deserted graveyard in New Orleans.

The Friday Five

This Friday Five is all about heart break and the top five techniques I've seen used to create it.

Here’s Buckner. He’s trying to buy a house.

He and his wife have been utilizing the services of a part-time Real Estate Agent who just so happens to be a friend. However, things just aren't working out for the Buckners because the part-time real estate agent takes his part-time status very seriously.

Scott asked my advice the other day on how he could gently let his friend/agent down easy while still letting him know that he is a little disappointed. I told him that I’d be more than happy to help him find an easy way of letting his friend go by lending him some wisdom that I’ve learned from breakups in my past. (In the remainder of this post, the word ‘agent’ shall represent the person who is no longer the object of affection.)

1. It’s not you, it’s me. I’ve heard this before. Turns out, it IS you and not them. However, I’ve used this excuse myself and really believed the words coming out of my mouth just to discover weeks later that it WAS them. If someone ever tells you this it means they are too lazy to come up with excuse.

2. The Friend Zone. I like you (agent) better as a friend. This wouldn’t work with Scott’s situation. The agent already is his friend.

3. Double Timing. Just show up with another agent. This method has proven highly successful on me. Some people call this cheating. I’m some people. It’s a clear indicator that you’ve moved on. I’ve had a few agents end relationships with me this way. If Bucker chooses this escape route, he will have to do one of two things when confronted; 1) Deny what the agent is seeing with his very eyes and tell the agent that the other agent is just a friend, or 2) Ignore his agent and hope he goes away. This is probably the most uncomfortable of all the break up techniques.

4. The Freeze Out. This is the method of choice for a lot of people looking to loose their agent. Simply put, Scott should just start putting his agent down, stop returning his agent’s calls and make life pretty miserable for him. This will force the agent to break up with Buckner, thus, letting him off the hook for being the instigator of the break up. Caution: this technique will take longer, sometimes up to years to execute. It will often lead to scarring the agent with self esteem and trust issues, but in the end, you DO get the break up without having to say the words “break” and “up” together in the same sentence. However, the sad break up story DOES go to the agent and they will use this mojo to attract other ‘prospective buyers’.

5. Witness Protection Program. Scott could tell his agent that he’s been living a secret life and protected by the witness protection program. His cover has been compromised and he has to move on. He can’t tell the agent where he’s moving on to due to security reasons. This honestly happened to the father of a friend of mine. He bought the story and was heartbroken as he told us this whole drawn out saga. Even as a ninth grader, when I heard this scenario, I was thinking to myself, ‘Dude, you got scammed. Big time.”

In the end, Scott opted to not take ANY of my advice as to how to cut ties with his agent. As of press time, Scott had decided to pass a note to his agent letting him know that he wanted to break up and that he would no longer be his BREAF (Best Real Estate Agent Forever).

The Friday Five

Wow. I've kept 'The Friday Five' going for two whole weeks. In a row, people. This week's five will be Jeremy's favorite movies of all time and an in-depth look at what these say about him.

1. Dumb and Dumber. I don't really care what this says about him, because this movie is off-the carts hilarious. I'm pretty sure Jeremy decided to go ring shopping the very day he found out that I had seen this movie more times than he had. Also, I think this was our very first DVD purchase.

Liking this movie, it says that Jeremy has the heart and funny bone of a seventh-grade boy. It says he's not above seeing a movie that scored zero stars in the local papers when movie reviews were coming out for it. Also, you should know that Jeremy knows every line from this movie and quotes it regularly. He will refer to any stranger wearing a trucker hat as 'Seabass'.

Another also? Without fail, if we are out to eat and someone at our table asks the server about the soup of the day, before the server even rattles off the type of soup available, Jeremy will inevitably say, 'Soup of the day? Mmmm, that sounds delicious." Sometimes I ask about the soup just to humor him.

2. Red Dawn. Liking this movie says that Jeremy hasn't seen this movie in well over a decade. Obviously. It's sort of a nostalgic thing for him. If he were to re-watch it, surely he would see that he's romanticised it in his head. Trust me, I did this with Xanadu. I'm not about to go and burst his bubble either. Again, I did this with Xanadu. It was a sad day for old Jen when she watched that piece after building it up in my mind as prolific and timeless. A muse sent down from heaven wearing roller skates? I DO, however, want to see the Broadway musical. Rollerskating muses...on Broadway? Yes!

Unlike Dumb and Dumber, Jeremy cannot quote every line from Red Dawn. He DOES, however, quote the most critical point of tension from the movie. I think it's Thomas C. Howell's character (Pony Boy, is that you?) that yells out 'Wolverines!'.

You should also know, that Jeremy thinks the premise for Red Dawn could actually happen. It's set in the Cold War era. The Russians have invaded the USA and the only stronghold against them are a handful of scrappy teens that are hidden away in a grade school. Or is it a high school? Patrick Swaze, Pony Boy, Lea Thompson and Jennifer Grey (pre-nose job) are the who's who among 80's stars before they had veneers. You know what? In Red Dawn, I think somebody actually DID put Baby in the corner.

* Update* We probably won't be taking in another viewing of Red Dawn any time soon. Jeremy's holding out until it hits Broadway as well.

3. The Usual Suspects. Keyser Soze! This movie is one of the most clever films ever. I begged Jeremy to see it with me while we were dating. He didn't pay much attention to it then, he was too busy dating me. But a few years later, he caught it on TBS and it blew his mind.

Liking this movie means that Jeremy loves a good twist. He loves suspense coupled with creative layers of storytelling. I think it also means he has a secret thing for Gabriel Byrne. Or is that me?

Whenever this movie comes on cable, Jeremy acts like there's a drug raid going down or something. He's all, "Grab the kids! Turn down the lights! Take that phone of the hook and shut the blinds and lock all the doors! I need to CONCENTRATE here people!" He's all about devoting all his attention to this movie. I guess he's not trying so hard to date me anymore.

4. A River Runs Through It. There's really no need for explanation here. It's obligatory that every male between the ages of 25-45 love this movie. I think they have to check a box or something when they register to vote.

5. Tommy Boy. We recently caught a screening of Tommy Boy on cable. It was the first time in about 10 years that I watched this thing, without interruption, from beginning to end. Something struck me as the credits began rolling. Most of Jeremy's humor and one liners are directly taken from this film.

I turned to Jeremy and said, "If I had just met you, and this was our fifth date, I would be so ticked at you right now." Jeremy gives me a puzzled look.

I go on to tell him that 90% of his humor comes from Chris Farley and David Spade's characters.

His response? "I'm surprised you didn't know that. YOU'VE got a think candy shell."

The Friday Five

So, I’m toying with an idea for this blog. I think I might start posting a list of five things that are on the top of my mind every Friday. They could be a list of things about me, about Jeremy or the kids, things bugging me or things I’m grateful for at the moment. I hope this can become a regular feature. Now don’t go thinking I’m all creative, because a lot of bloggers do this and I promise they do it better. Also, notice I am not planning on publishing ‘The Friday Fifteen’. I don’t aspire to lofty goals.

This week, my ‘Friday Five’ will be five things that you may not know about me. I guess, this week if you buy the first five, I’m throwing in one for free. After all, I already disclosed that I don’t aspire to lofty goals.

Well, here goes. Five things you may not know about me:

1. I don’t like talking on the phone. It’s just unnecessary. I think there was a brief period between 1986 and 1991 that I absolutely lived and died by the thing. But not now. Maybe my hatred for the phone dates back to the fact that my parents wouldn’t let me have a personal phone in my room. They insisted they were looking out for my best interest. I think they just wanted to eavesdrop. I kid. I kid.

Most of my phone conversations are under four minutes. Anything longer than that, I start to lose concentration. Also, if I call you, unsolicited just to chat, know that I really, really, REALLY like you. I have close, dear friends that I don’t talk to on the phone, ever.

I’ve gotten better about my phone phobia recently. Rozzie lovingly pointed out that I was not being a good phone friend. I have worked diligently over the past year to call the people I love/like more frequently. Roz even gave me a few suggestions for phone calls. She told me to start slowly and say things like, “That’s interesting, tell me more.” Or “What have you been doing lately?” She insists that eventually I could work up to more specific questions like, “What music are you into now?” She claims that by using this technique, I’m bound to draw the other person out more and I won’t have to do so much talking.

So, feel free to call me. I may just drop newly learned phone skills on you.

2. I don’t hate the Boston Red Sox as much as I tell you I do. I know, as a Yankee Fan since the 1980’s, I should have a hatred for the Bosox, but I just don’t. What can I say, me loves me some Manny Ramirez.

However, if you corner me on this or bring it up in mixed company (BTW: mixed company is anyone who isn’t a Yankee fan or someone that has a fondness for the Cubbies), I will deny, deny, deny.

3. I am nervous to meet you. Let me clarify. I’m nervous to meet up at a pre-arranged location where we both drive separate cars. Will you be waiting for me in the parking lot? Will you be inside? What if you come in a different door? Will we miss each other? What if you’ve drastically changed your hair and I don’t recognize you? Will parking be a hassle? What if I’m late? What if you’re late?

Those are only the questions rolling around in my head while you and I are talking, making arrangements to meet. Can you image what’s going though my head on the drive over?

Know that the huge smile I give you when we finally DO meet up at the pre-arranged location is one part ‘I’m so glad to see you’ and one part ‘Thank-goodness-that-mini-panic-attack-I-just-had-getting-here is now OVER!’

4. I like to go to movies alone. Don’t get me wrong, I really WOULD like to go to the movies with you, but sometimes I just like to go alone. When Jeremy gives me some time off from my motherly duties, I will usually nap or try to figure out how to squeeze a movie in alone.

5. I have a favorite checker at WalMart. Her name is Margaret. She typically works in the checkout lane that sells tobacco so her line is usually longer than most. But I really think she’s friendly and I will stand a longer in her line to just have small talk time with her.

Margaret’s line just so happens to be the one that stores all the boxes of gum that is waiting to be put out for display. After seeing her so often, she has learned that Henry likes a particular type of gum. She goes through a big production of going back and getting him a pack of gum right from the box even if we don’t ask her to. She hands it to him and says the same thing every time, “Enjoy it, little guy!”

Henry thinks she’s given him such a treat. Of course, what he doesn’t know is that I’M the one buying it and I’M the one that chews most of it.