Message from Your Mother

So, the truth is, your dog may have been exposed to some loud swearing today.

At least I can tell you the day started off with good intentions. Even if it finished in a less than desirable way.

I figured that given she was back with me for a few weeks it was important I kept her days as consistent as possible to how she lives with you.

I know you take her running twice a day.

Well you know me. I'm lazy and would happily let her sit with her feet up on the lounge all day with a doggy cocktail in hand.

But, for everyone's sake, I made a commitment to take her to the Dog Park every day.

I thought it would be good for both of us.

Fresh air. Sunshine. Exercise.

Well, after our first visit today, I was wrong.

Only one of us had fun. And that is the kind of fun with a capital F.U.N.

Look at her.

She enjoyed that picturesque dog park for all of two minutes.

Then she ran away and discovered something she liked way better.


I'm still breathless.

Your dog can run really, really fast.

So it's a good job I can shout really, really loud.

Because I sure as hell can only run really, really slow.

Yes, and I am licking my lips because I love drinking the filthy water.

.

What came out of my mouth when I finally caught up to her and realised I had to take her back home in my car, was just as filthy as she looked.

Oh, and just so you know, she now also answers to NO-O-OO-OO-OO-OO-O Stella, Get out of there Stella, What the ....... Stella............

Regardless, we will still go back again tomorrow.

But, this time I'll be prepared.

I'm taking gum boots so I can get in that muddy water with her.

Who knows? She might be on to something.

You only live once. Right?



Do you have a pet? What do you love about it?

Stella checking the post before I pressed publish. With a golden retriever you will never be alone  - they never let you out of their sight. Ever.

Well that was awkward......

Vegemite? Mmm not so much....

Fiona and Elliott, my latest Airbnb guests from China, were telling me how much they liked Australia but after being here a week they had a few concerns.

I had to keep a straight face while sweet Fiona was asking me questions.

"As we are driving on the road, we only ever see nature and animals, there are no people. Where are all the people?" Fiona said.

I tried to explain that Shanghai (the city they come from) has the same number of people in it as the whole of Australia does. 

"We just have way more space and so there are areas between towns and cities that are not populated or are farms." 

"Ah", they said "we understand." 

Then there were the 'guns'. They thought that if they made a mistake somewhere, like a minor road transgression, another motorist might pull out a gun and shoot them. They told me that they turned into a neighbours driveway by mistake and were scared the neighbour might shoot them.

This couple were well educated with excellent careers. I am not sure whether this fear comes from Communist propaganda of the West or they have watched too many movies. Maybe this how Australia is perceived to be in China.

I reassured them that we have strict gun controls here. And it is really only farmers, police and criminals that carry them. I told them that in all my years living here I had never seen a gun, seen anyone carrying a gun or witnessed a gun being fired so they were pretty safe.

They then wanted to know if we had Police here as they had not seen any yet. They told me that in China they were on the street all the time watching what people were doing and would keep the streets safe.

Then, we discussed the issue that worried them the most. 

Kangaroos.

The night they arrived at my house they had taken a back road from Melbourne. Apparently they had seen a few Kangaroos along the side of the road and one had bounded in front of the car while they were driving and this had terrified them.

"Shouldn't the Kangaroos be in the zoo?" Fiona asked.

"Um, no", I said. "Kangaroos live in the bush and sometimes very late at night they get attracted to the roads by the car lights and engine noise and just come to check out what is happening. If they hit your car they can cause a lot of damage to themselves and your car. However, they will not hurt you unless you were to provoke them in someway."

I told them that they probably should stick to the highway when going back to Melbourne and avoid driving late at night. I said that while I had seen Kangaroos many times at my sister's property in the bush I had never had one approach me or hit one in my car.

"You will be fine. Kangaroos just do not come into urban areas where people are living unless it is a bad drought and they are starving."

That reassured them.

Well it did for 5 minutes anyway.

Because this video then came on the TV about two Kangaroos in another State who had gone into a suburban neighbourhood to fight one another. You can see where the term Boxing Kangaroos came from. Ten points for guessing what they were fighting over. A woman for sure.

I had no words.

Instead, I quickly gave my guests some Vegemite on toast and turned their attention to something else that people think is kind of weird about living here.



(Just as an aside, my sister told me that Chinese travellers adopt a European name when they travel. So I asked them how they chose their name. Fiona and Elliott? From Shrek and ET. Too cute. As were they. Gorgeous couple.)

Don't you love travel? There is always so much to learn about other places and cultures. What is the weirdest thing you have seen or done in your travels?

Cleanliness is next to Dogliness thanks to Dettol

(A Giveaway with Dettol - CLOSED 30/9/2014) Winner Sancha Martin 

   

Stella spent the majority of her last Dog Obedience Class under the car.

 
She wasn't moving for anyone, even Elvis.

 

She finally crawled out just when the testing started. She trotted in, did what she had to do and was out of there again as quickly as she could.

 

Thank goodness that's over. 

 

Stella doesn't appreciate formal education it seems. I feel she may be the  practical kind.

 

So, we've been training her to do more useful things.....like cleaning. Seriously. Watch this fully grown Golden Retriever Grace clean.

 



 

Learning to pick up her toys is a start. This breed likes working which is just as well as she creates lots of work. While Stella is very cute she is also really messy. Muddy paw prints, weeds she has dragged in from the garden, dog hair on floors, furniture and clothes...... 

 

I have had to rethink how I clean. I have bought an electrostatic mop, lint brushes, hand sanitisers, and some different healthy cleaning products.

 

And luckily, a couple of weeks ago I was offered some Dettol products to try. Of course I jumped at the chance.

I've always used Dettol's soap and antiseptic but have never tried any of their other products. In fact, I didn't even know they had any other products.

As well as cleaning products Dettol has a range of good personal hygiene products which I was able to try.

I particularly liked the Dettol Hand Sanitiser. I thought I was fastidious about hand washing after that cruise I took... but now I am even moreso since Stella came to stay.
 

I am now just looking forward to the day when my cleaning lady grows up some more and learns everything she needs to know. You know, so she can really clean up her own mess and help out more.

A girl can dream. Watch this space.
 

 Grace, a role model Stella can aspire to be like one day.
(not a pic of Stella)

 

 GIVEAWAY ENTRY

I have a pack of Dettol Cleaning and Personal Hygiene Products (to the value of $120) to give away to one lucky commenter on this post. 

 

NO, the cleaning lady is not included. You will have to get your own.

Also, if anyone has any cleaning tips to pass on please do. I Stella could use them.

 

Note: Entry is open to all readers and the winner will be drawn using Random.org 

 You can comment about the post, leave a tip about cleaning, what you think about Dettol or just say Hi. If you do not have a Google account please include your email address in your comment so that I can contact you if you win. Entries close at 5pm AEST 30/9/2014

GIVEAWAY WINNER is Sancha (Martin?), 13th commenter. Drawn using Random.org 9pm 30/9/2014

 

How do you react when you look in the mirror?

Just watch until the end. It is funny I promise.

I have exactly the same reaction these days when I get anywhere close to a mirror.

That cannot possibly be me...can it?

Puppy School Dropout

                                  

“You have to move faster than that”, Susan screamed as she panted breathlessly behind us, barking one order after another.

“Now wear something more appropriate next time as you will be doing a lot of crawling around the floor.”

“Your puppy is going to be one confused little girl if she is made to wear a blue collar. Get her a pink one.”

“You have to bring four different types of treats with you. They are just like us you know, they like a choice. ”

Really Susan? A choice?

I stopped to catch my breath and Susan caught up with me and grabbed my arm tightly.  Her gaze held mine and her flushed cheeks seemed to wobble with delight as she ran through her list of acceptable puppy treats.

Unfortunately I stopped listening at the point she mentioned “Kangaroo meat”. 

My mouth remained closed but that voice inside my head was speaking very loudly indeed, ’ I don’t really care how delicious a gaming meat you think it is Susan, I am not feeding a puppy one of our Nations most iconic animals. Eating Skippy? Absolutely not Susan.’

Puppy school is harder work than I thought. Keeping my mouth shut is even harder.

Although I can hardly disagree with Susan when she says, "everyone deserves a good start in life and to learn some manners".

It's only four sessions after all. I can do it….I just need to be on my best behaviour for a few weeks. Perhaps it might help if I have a gin and tonic or two right before classes start (my kind of treat Susan). 

Anyway, I think I am finally understand the meaning of the phrase...it's a dog's life.

Just last week the Vet recommended that Stella should be 'groomed' so that she would get used to it before she gets older. I just didn’t realise that 'grooming' meant a shampoo, cut, blow wave, and manicure.  Stella came prancing out of the RSPCA Pooch Parlour looking like a million dollars. Her blonde hair was silky, shining and smooth. I caught sight of my own dishevelled birds nest reflected in the glass window and, without thinking, asked if I could book myself in for the full works too…if only.

Uh oh Stella.....here comes Susan again….and she is heading our way.

“Oh Stella sweetie pie, tell Grandma she needs to do better than this, she is not running fast enough with you. C’mon Granny, faster, faster.” 

I growled and tried to quicken my pace but that voice in my head was now barking loudly at Susan.

'Just between you and me Susan, Stella is a DOG she cannot tell me anything. And Stella might be the one dragging me around the room but what's with the Granny business? Really Susan? Really?

Sure, we might both be big blondes and yes, I’ve been called a bitch many times but no-one Susan, and I mean no-one, has mistaken me as a close relative of a four legged animal. Ever.

Besides, do you know how hard it is to run around the room when your freaking dog is running in the other direction after Elvis, the little Chihuahua, who is a quarter of her size.  She will not leave him alone.  And look at tiny Jay Z - that dirty dawg. He is jumping on her back every chance he gets. You call this socialisation Susan? I call this violation.

I got the evidence Jay Z - just sayin'

Then, if all that wasn't enough, two mean looking little boxers chased Stella under the lounge and she refused to come out. No amount of pleading, bribing or crying on my part would get her out. I had to crawl under the lounge to drag her out. And Susan perhaps you do have a good point about wearing suitable clothing. It was all rather awkward in that tight skirt.

Suddenly there was a high pitched screech.  “It's time for pee pees, outside puppies". Susan bent down to Stella and squealed excitedly in a high pitched baby voice, “Ok sweetie petutti, time to go outside for pee pees.”  

"Excuse me Susan", I said in a firm voice. "Stella doesn’t know what you mean by 'pee pees'. The only command she knows is ‘go to toilet’.

And then without any hesitation whatsoever, Stella promptly pooped at Susan’s feet. Ooops……..big whoops Stella.

Not our finest moment but, on the upside, at least she obeyed one command during the whole night, well sort of, kind of, nearly.

Something tells me it's going to be a long four weeks……I wonder which one of us drops out first…..Susan, Stella or me. I am betting it’s me..because when I look at the faces of Stella and Susan they seem to be really, really enjoying themselves.

The Downward Dog

After six months of giving my new house more makeovers than Joan Rivers has had facelifts, and fixating about all the maintenance issues, I  had to STOP and get some perspective.

So what did my daughter suggest? Yoga....Buddhist meditation....and...... would I mind looking after her dog for a while. 

Lovely as that girl is .......I somehow forgot to clarify how long 'a while' is.  

Meet Stella. 

A very busy little Golden Retriever who is doing a sterling job retrieving plants out of my pots. Which is really a bit of a shame given there are many weeds everywhere that could benefit from her skills.

However, I have managed to get my own back. Can you guess at what point in this photo chronology she came to stay with me?

Dress ups are so fun, no? Maybe this will hurry her owner up to come and collect her dog for fear of what "Nanna" is doing to her baby fairydog. She is cute though I will give her that. Plus my plants don't make me laugh out loud like she does.  

I hope, unlike my greenery, you are all well and thriving. 

My dog days are over

It's already been proven on this blog that I am definitely no dog whisperer.

There was this time and then there was that shameful time as well.

However today I thought that it was all going to change.

I was walking along the street and noticed a guy come out of a strange looking building and walk quickly up the road.

Soon after he left, this wee fur ball appeared at the window. 

Talk about puppy love. How cute is he?

 

He looked over at us then he looked down the street perhaps to make sure his owner was safely out of sight. I stood still, curious to see what he would do.  He looked just like a teenager ready to hotfoot it as soon as their parents leave the house.

Is he gone? Looks like it..... woo hoo...Oops not quite...act casual....la de da de da.

 

And what followed?

 

 

The adorable little creature jumped over the ledge, and hotfooted it to the cafe next door. Then he leapt onto an outdoor table and took some poor kid's lunch off her plate. 

He then took off down the street followed by trails of lettuce, tomato, onion and beetroot. 

 

I ran after him trying to catch him - which meant not only did he have time to eat the whole hamburger but he could have also ordered dessert and relaxed with his feet up over a cappuccino if he felt so inclined.   Now you can laugh..and ask why...it's not like I was going to rescue a hamburger was it...

 

Look at his fat and full cheeks. After his junk food fix, he went back home.  Probably to play computer games.

  

He is in need of a hair cut and bath, no doubt always hungry, engages in risky behaviour, looks like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth, doesn't listen to a word anyone says, lauds it over little kids and knows that no-one is fast enough to catch him. Yep, so very like a few teenagers I know (and have also chased down the street, for similar outcomes I have to say).

Can you find the hamburger?

This is the last time I will be cooing and fawning over anything cute and photogenic. My dog days are well and truly over.  So in that case, would you like to see a couple of cute cat pictures? You know I have them.

                                           ________________________


Food Products Giveaway closes 28 October 2012 - don't forget to enter.

Beauty Products pack + Limited Edition NESCAFE Gold Colombian Coffee Giveaway closes 28 October 2012 - 5 runners up will also get a coffee pack each - don't forget to enter.

Drawing the short straw....

It happens to the best of us sometimes...

This picture was sent to me by a friend. Hope it makes you smile too. 

Have a fantastic weekend wherever you are.

It's a surprising and welcome sunny Saturday morning here in Melbourne - it's the middle of winter with a top expected of 14°F (57°F). An attractive view of blue skies & a not very attractive view of sprawling suburbia from my balcony. I'll enjoy the day as rain is expected tomorrow.

An orangutan saves a duck chick

At Dublin Zoo

Way too cute!

Although I hope at the end it was mouth to mouth he was administering and not sizing him up for dinner.



Have a great weekend everyone!

If you don't go ahhhh over this

you're not the person I thought you were.


To make up for the horrid spider picture, I thought I would post something more savory. In this installment of CBS News Assignment America, Steve Hartman visits an animal sanctuary where a dog and an elephant have formed a very lasting, and unusual, friendship.

For those who haven't seen the Christian the Lion Cub video, click here. Be prepared to shed a tear.

Have you ever heard of or seen any unusual animal friendships such as this?
PS: Another Australian blog I can recommend is Middle Aged Ramblings. Peggy, from Sydney, is an inspirational and gifted writer and she has some wonderful scrap blogs and a great music selection on her blog.

Walk on the Wildside

These are a few photos which are courtesy of my daughter who spent the day with our Canadian visitor at the local Zoo feeding the animals (a special tour under Zoo Keeper supervision). I didn't have the courage to do this. I think I would have fainted at the point they gave me the horse and deer and rats to feed the animals....the food they eat scares me more than the big cats......you get the picture (so no gory dinner pics on the blog). However, the animals really look kind of cute from this safe distance..and are very well looked after. I love the shy Koala who refused to show his sweet face. Aussies aren't usually that timid. Click on the images to see a larger version (if you are game, of course).


1. Brown Bear 2. Lion who appears to be a little hungry 3. White lion cubs known as the "Brat Pack" 4. Alligator 5. Cheetah 6. Cheetah who loves some TLC 7. Giraffe 8. Cougar 9. Dingoes 10. Shy Koala 11. Lemur 12. Leopard 13. Wombat 14. Monkey 15. Emu 16. Monkey

My personal favourite was this stylish creature (monkey). Who knew? Monkeys apparently have hair products.


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Silent Sundays

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I went to our local Zoo today to do some work and while I was there I took a few pictures of some of the residents (click on the image to enlarge). I was impressed with the brown bear who was standing up playing with a tyre hanging from a tree. He was having lots of fun but I resisted the urge to join him! Sometimes, more than one is a crowd.

While I was there I took a special picture for fellow blogger Pearl from Pearl, why you little...blog. Pearl made the comment on Des's last post that she "had a hard time believing that there ARE kangaroos. Silly animals! I've never seen one live; and the thought of them bounding across an open plain is just confounding."

You see, it's like this Pearl. The Kangaroos that you see in your Zoos may just be the ordinary kind of guys that we allow to emigrate to the USA. They 'bound' and don't do much else. The guys that we have here are a lot more talented. That's why I thought I would take this picture of Big Boy Booza who was kicking back at the Zoo today. He was propped up at the bar drinking Fosters for the whole three hours I was there. Watching football with his mates. He was a little wobbly on his legs afterwards ....but thank goodness he was close to home. So now what do you say?
From The Mind of A Mom, now can you see why we have to tie our kangaroos down, sport.

And Barbara (Barbara Blundell's Blog), I have to confess that when I was walking around the Zoo I thought of you too. Actually I felt guilty being there taking pictures of caged animals because I know that I, including your other loyal readers, want to free all these animals when we get to rule the world. One day.

So, making sure I was not letting the team down, because I did feel overwhelmed by those bears, tigers and giraffes, I came home via the Restaurant that serves the live lobster. I summoned up some courage and I placed this sign at the entrance door. I hope you will be proud of my efforts......ummmm, maybe you might get a few extra visitors to your blog....by the name of Constable something or other.... hope you don't mind..



Happy Sunday everyone and I can't close the comments today because I want to know what you think of the hunky Kangaroos we have here. Especially you Pearl.

True Love

An Australian by the name of John Rendall is about to release a new book (his first was published in 1972) about the time he and his friend Ace Bourke shared their lives with a lion called Christian.

John and Ace bought the lion cub from Harrods Department store in London in 1969 (in the days it sold exotic animals....and obviously before the animal rights movement was born). Christian's parents belonged to a zoo in England. While living with John and Ace he travelled by Bentley, ate in fine London restaurants and spent his days lounging in a furniture shop.

Christian was beautifully behaved but he grew from 35lbs to 185 lbs within a year. He was fast becoming a problem which was growing every day. It was clear he could not stay with his owners forever.

His future was decided by a chance encounter - when the actors Bill Travers and Virginia McKenna (remember they starred in Born Free?) walked into the shop to buy a pine desk. They immediately suggested that George Adamson, the African conservationist might be able to help. John and Ace took Christian to Africa in 1970 even though George had warned them that Christian may not be able to be rehabilitated back into the wild because of his lavish urban lifestyle.

John Rendall and Ace Bourke continued to make sporadic visits to Kenya, but mostly they followed Christian's adventures from afar. Finally, in 1974, George Adamson wrote to say that Christian's pride was self-sufficient. Christian was defending it. There was a litter of cubs. They were feeding themselves and they rarely returned to camp.

John and Ace decided to travel to Africa one last time, in the hope of being able to say goodbye, although Adamson warned them that it would almost certainly be a wasted mission.

Christian hadn't been near the camp for nine moths and George didn't know if he was alive or dead. John and Ace decided to make the trip anyway. Strangely, Christian turned up at the camp the night before they were due to arrive. That visit was to be their last and Christian has never been seen again.

The following is a video of John and Ace's reunion with Christian a year after they left him with George in Africa.



If you would like to read a 2007 press story about Christian click here or if you would like to see a recent interview (1.8.08) with John and Ace click here and here . A truly heartwarming story.