This refers to self guided improvement: economically, intellectually or emotionally. People seek self improvement on a variety of areas. Success, love & relationships, health & fitness, money & careers, mental health, spirituality and lifestyle.
Some people think the idea of self improvement means they are unhappy with their life or not satisfied with themselves. That is not necessarily true. We can be happy with ourselves and our life, but want to improve in an area within our lives. We should never give up on improving our self and reaching our full potential.
Have you reached your potential?
We often can be very hard on our self. I know at times, I am my own worst critic and judge myself harshly.
When I dwell on what I think are my faults, I sometimes feel I need self improvement. But, When I focus on my good qualities and expand on those, my faults seem to diminish.
I love to read, so reading information and tips on all areas of self improvement and what I want to develop is a favorite thing to do of mine. To be a better person, to expand and achieve personal growth. What's wrong with that? A few of my friends will notice the books I have and I hear a low "huh" or chuckle. Just because I am reading up on a particular subject doesn't mean I am not satisfied or think of myself as a failure. It just means I believe I can improve. There are always lessons to learn in life.
Has anyone made a little fun of you because you want to do a little self improving?
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Showing posts with label Self-Esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-Esteem. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Building Self Confidence ~ Conclusion
Lack of self-confidence can be made up of several different aspects like: guilt, anger, unrealistic ideas of perfection, false sense of humility, fear of change or making mistakes, depression and so on.
We are all capable of transforming ourselves by increasing the good qualities and eliminating the negative ones. Do not talk yourself into thinking you cannot reach the goals you have been dreaming about. You need to move forward. Anytime you accomplish a goal, however small or large, you get a good feeling. No one can take that feeling away. That good feeling is personal achievement and not only will it help build your self confidence, it will help you to continue to accomplish what you set out to do.
While you are building up your self confidence, don't fall into the below negatives:
Don't get wrapped up in your mistakes and dwell on bad points; they can contrast your good points or even give you something to improve. There's no feeling like being good at something you were really bad at.
Don't confuse what you have with who you are. People degrade their self worth when comparing possessions.
Surround yourself with nurturing friends, not overly critical individuals who make you feel inadequate or insecure. This could do great harm and damage to your self confidence.
Do not try to become confident in the interest of finding a partner. You will regret creating a false personality as the relationship goes along.
It's good to have a lot of confidence, but don't build it up so much that you get egotistical and annoying.
Lack of confidence is not necessarily a curse! So do not worry. Many ignorant, fanatic and maniac people are confident but is that desirable? No. Building self confidence should be associated with simultaneous growth from within. Thus by overcoming pettiness and superficiality you can build unshakable self confidence.
We are all capable of transforming ourselves by increasing the good qualities and eliminating the negative ones. Do not talk yourself into thinking you cannot reach the goals you have been dreaming about. You need to move forward. Anytime you accomplish a goal, however small or large, you get a good feeling. No one can take that feeling away. That good feeling is personal achievement and not only will it help build your self confidence, it will help you to continue to accomplish what you set out to do.
While you are building up your self confidence, don't fall into the below negatives:
Don't get wrapped up in your mistakes and dwell on bad points; they can contrast your good points or even give you something to improve. There's no feeling like being good at something you were really bad at.
Don't confuse what you have with who you are. People degrade their self worth when comparing possessions.
Surround yourself with nurturing friends, not overly critical individuals who make you feel inadequate or insecure. This could do great harm and damage to your self confidence.
Do not try to become confident in the interest of finding a partner. You will regret creating a false personality as the relationship goes along.
It's good to have a lot of confidence, but don't build it up so much that you get egotistical and annoying.
Lack of confidence is not necessarily a curse! So do not worry. Many ignorant, fanatic and maniac people are confident but is that desirable? No. Building self confidence should be associated with simultaneous growth from within. Thus by overcoming pettiness and superficiality you can build unshakable self confidence.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Building Self Confidence ~ Part 1
The results of the poll I had on this blog:
In which areas do you need the most improvement?
33.3% said they needed improvement in motivation
66.7% said they needed improvement in their confidence
Based on those results, I thought I'd post about confidence and how we can improve in that area.
Lack of self-confidence are the major blocks to success, freedom and happiness. According to Wiki How, here are 13 steps to help you build self confidence:
1. Recognize your insecurities. What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, to emotional abuse (past or present) from a loved one or friends at school. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down.
2. Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day chip away at it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on.
3. Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.
4. Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized.
5. Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.
6. Be Positive, even if you don't feel positive. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior--they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.
7. Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.
8. Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel.
9. Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. If it's difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club. When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!
10. Stick to your principles. It might be tough, but if you don't have something you can believe in, you don't have anything. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. No matter what's happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you've followed your principles to the best of your ability.
11. Help others. When you know you're kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people's lives (even if it's just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning) you'll know that you are a positive force in the world--which will boost your self confidence. Go volunteer twice a month at an elementary school. Bake something for your neighbor for no reason. Confidence that you have earned is the most long-lasting.
12. Stop worrying. What worries you today will be forgotten by you and people around you tomorrow. Can you remember what you were so worried about the same day the same time last week? If not, then you should not worry right now. You will not worry about it even one week from now.
13. Stand tall. Our body posture represents what we are at that particular time. Simple habit that we can learn and start to implement it are stand and sit correctly. Your great and nice body posture will speak for you. How you stand sends out a message to the World, and in turn, back to you.
Part 2 will contain positive tips that will continue to help with building confidence
33.3% said they needed improvement in motivation
66.7% said they needed improvement in their confidence
Based on those results, I thought I'd post about confidence and how we can improve in that area.
Lack of self-confidence are the major blocks to success, freedom and happiness. According to Wiki How, here are 13 steps to help you build self confidence:
1. Recognize your insecurities. What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, to emotional abuse (past or present) from a loved one or friends at school. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down.
2. Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day chip away at it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on.
3. Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.
4. Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized.
5. Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.
6. Be Positive, even if you don't feel positive. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior--they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.
7. Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.
8. Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel.
9. Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. If it's difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club. When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!
10. Stick to your principles. It might be tough, but if you don't have something you can believe in, you don't have anything. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. No matter what's happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you've followed your principles to the best of your ability.
11. Help others. When you know you're kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people's lives (even if it's just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning) you'll know that you are a positive force in the world--which will boost your self confidence. Go volunteer twice a month at an elementary school. Bake something for your neighbor for no reason. Confidence that you have earned is the most long-lasting.
12. Stop worrying. What worries you today will be forgotten by you and people around you tomorrow. Can you remember what you were so worried about the same day the same time last week? If not, then you should not worry right now. You will not worry about it even one week from now.
13. Stand tall. Our body posture represents what we are at that particular time. Simple habit that we can learn and start to implement it are stand and sit correctly. Your great and nice body posture will speak for you. How you stand sends out a message to the World, and in turn, back to you.
Part 2 will contain positive tips that will continue to help with building confidence
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Are You Afraid To Take Risks?
So the other day, after some thought, decided to take action regarding a situation in my life. A risk? yes, but if I didn't take action, how would I ever know if the outcome would be positive...how would I ever know if the outcome would be the one I wanted?
When deciding to take a risk, you have a 50-50 chance of the outcome turning out the way you want. Is it worth it? YES, I believe so. Fear shouldn't hold you back. There are many factors when taking a risk that people think about and may keep them from actually moving forward with their action.
Are you afraid of exposing your true self? Fear of being rejected? Fear of failure? Fear not being loved in return? Lack belief in yourself or others? Want to avoid conflict? More comfortable playing it safe? Afraid of looking like a fool?
But risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. If a person risks nothing,,,has nothing. If you avoid taking a chance or risk because you are afraid of suffering and sorrow, you simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love.
Change happens when taking a risk. I did think about this when I moved forward with my action. You have to be willing to accept change because whatever happens...whether positive or negative, it will involve change.
Do you take risks? If you have trouble moving forward...ask yourself these questions as I did...
What is keeping me from solving this problem?
How do I feel about choosing an action with an outcome that I am uncertain of?
What is the worst possible thing that could happen if I did or did not take action?
What are the possible consequences of not taking the risks necessary?
My answers to those questions, helped me move forward and I am very happy and satisfied that I did. Although I do not know the outcome yet...I know it was worth it.
What also helped me is the fact that I believe in taking a chance...you never know if you don't and living with regret is something I try not to do. I have taken many chances in the past and my successes outweigh the failures, so I kept that in mind also.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
In With The New, Out With The Old...
It seems to me that most people do some 'spring cleaning' in the month or two preceding summer. We want our homes to be clean and refreshed from the winter months of closed windows.
A fresh start for the nice warm weather...
We purge the old...we tidy up...maybe even redecorate to give our homes a new updated look.
"in with the new, out with the old"
We go spring/summer clothes shopping...updating our looks. A new hair cut maybe and how about getting our bodies in shape for the beach? That's all we see in the magazines, on TV and on the Internet. Exercise to get our bodies in tip top shape.
Well, to go along with all this spring cleaning, updating the interior/exterior of our homes, our appearance...we should also consider spending time updating the way we think.
How many of us have negative thoughts about how we look or have confidence issues or our motivation isn't what it should be?
Why don't we put some time into our "inner self"? Changing any negative thoughts we have into positive. Learn how to be happy with ourselves.
Sounds easy I know, but if we focus on even one issue and make it our goal to overcome that issue, we would feel so successful... so wonderful and happy to go along with all the other spring cleaning updates we did in our life.
Our state of mind is what will spontaneously create the desired results. Create your life from within. Become satisfied with yourself and your thoughts and there will be nothing you cannot do or be – because your thoughts are powerful! Expect the very best of everything that this world has to offer - and know that you deserve it. You have friends and family who love you. Learn how to be thankful. Think of all the things you have to be happy about.
Try not to over analyze things. Stress can cause many mental, physical, and spiritual problems in your life.The true key to happiness is acceptance. Learn to be grateful for what you have. A lot of people know it, but don't keep it in their minds. Comparing your life with others is dangerous. Accept the gifts you have and know that no one is better than or less than anyone else.
Happiness begins from within. If you don't accept what you have or who you are, then you will never be truly happy with anyone else.
We purge the old...we tidy up...maybe even redecorate to give our homes a new updated look.
We go spring/summer clothes shopping...updating our looks. A new hair cut maybe and how about getting our bodies in shape for the beach? That's all we see in the magazines, on TV and on the Internet. Exercise to get our bodies in tip top shape.
Well, to go along with all this spring cleaning, updating the interior/exterior of our homes, our appearance...we should also consider spending time updating the way we think.
How many of us have negative thoughts about how we look or have confidence issues or our motivation isn't what it should be?
Why don't we put some time into our "inner self"? Changing any negative thoughts we have into positive. Learn how to be happy with ourselves.
Sounds easy I know, but if we focus on even one issue and make it our goal to overcome that issue, we would feel so successful... so wonderful and happy to go along with all the other spring cleaning updates we did in our life.
Our state of mind is what will spontaneously create the desired results. Create your life from within. Become satisfied with yourself and your thoughts and there will be nothing you cannot do or be – because your thoughts are powerful! Expect the very best of everything that this world has to offer - and know that you deserve it. You have friends and family who love you. Learn how to be thankful. Think of all the things you have to be happy about.
Try not to over analyze things. Stress can cause many mental, physical, and spiritual problems in your life.The true key to happiness is acceptance. Learn to be grateful for what you have. A lot of people know it, but don't keep it in their minds. Comparing your life with others is dangerous. Accept the gifts you have and know that no one is better than or less than anyone else.
Happiness begins from within. If you don't accept what you have or who you are, then you will never be truly happy with anyone else.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
For "CHICKS" Only
I just stumbled on the best site and I wanted to share it with you. It's such a fantastic idea and I am sure you women will agree.
How many of you have taken a Chick vacation? One where you can just be yourself, without the men in your lives? A trip for total female bonding: to share your thoughts, your experiences, ideas and life's problems. A trip where you receive the nourishing support one needs from a girlfriend. Maybe even a trip to catch up with friends who you haven't seen in awhile.
Let's face it...men have been taking male bonding trips...those fishing trips, hunting trips and even the baseball tournament outings. Now it's OUR turn to not feel guilty to get away and experience a trip with the girls. I know I feel a calming affect when I am with the girls for a night or even when I have gotten away to have some fun. It's a lasting affect and one I believe we all need.
Don't have a girlfriend who is able to get away with you? At Chickable...life's a chick trip...you can locate other women who share your interests and passions for a group getaway. This trip could be for a night, a weekend or an extended vacation. Meet new friends and connect with other women. Experience the 'feel good' benefits of getting away with your friends. Alone time so to speak from your significant other, husband, children, the stress of everyday life.
Taking a chick trip is a chance to take time for ourselves that we often don't do. To love ourselves...to rejuvenate.
Chickable is also promoting a chance to win a free chick trip. Visit Chickable.com to sign up for free.
Your thoughts? Have you ever taken a chick trip? What did you like best about getting away with the girls?
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Celebrating International Women's Day
Great words and thoughts
By Peggy Porter
From Brief to Thong
www.frombrieftothong.com
March 8th is International Women's Day. For many women this day will go unnoticed, however, my hope is that for all of you reading this, March 8th will become more than just another ordinary day.
Let's commit to making International Women's Day a day that...celebrates the sameness yet uniqueness in every one of us, celebrates the ordinary, yet extraordinary woman contributing daily to her family, workplace and community
celebrates the strong, resilient, yet sensitive nature each one of us possess.
Make this day one of recognition.
Let's recognize our individual accomplishments no matter how small we think they may be. Let's recognize the amazing success of the women in our own community, whether they are career women, business owners, mothers or volunteers. Each one deserves to be honored for the individual way they touch our society.
In celebration of this occasion, take the time to nurture yourself. Health and vitality is a woman's greatest asset. We are our best when we feel our best so practice an act of self care today. Surrender any guilt and do something you love. If you need a reason, do it just because.
Let this day be a day of inspiration and possibilities.
What are you inspired to do? What goals and dreams do you have? In today's society, we are blessed with unlimited opportunities so there are no limits to what we can accomplish. The only limits are self imposed so ask yourself...what would I do if I knew I couldn't fail? Let your desires inspire you to take action. If fear sneaks in, remind yourself of the many amazing dreams that women before us have fulfilled.
Make this not only a day of personal inspiration, but ask yourself- who can I be a role model for - your child, a friend, a co-worker? We all can BE a mentor and we all NEED a mentor-someone who can aspire in us our very best. So, let us be mentors in our communities, in our workplaces and most of all, in our relationships. Let's bring out the best in each other.
As we take part in our own celebration of International Women's Day, may we also make this a day of hope, reflection and prayer. May we remember the many countries whose women do not have the same opportunities or place in society that we are so blessed to have.
Let's make this a celebration where we build each other up, where we support, not judge , where we praise, not criticize and most of all, where we appreciate.
Appreciate the women in your life, the opportunities that lie before you, the people who love and support you, the community that offers such beauty and freedom but most of all, appreciate YOU. You are the reason this day was created. Cheers to you!
By Peggy Porter
From Brief to Thong
www.frombrieftothong.com
March 8th is International Women's Day. For many women this day will go unnoticed, however, my hope is that for all of you reading this, March 8th will become more than just another ordinary day.
Let's commit to making International Women's Day a day that...celebrates the sameness yet uniqueness in every one of us, celebrates the ordinary, yet extraordinary woman contributing daily to her family, workplace and community
celebrates the strong, resilient, yet sensitive nature each one of us possess.
Make this day one of recognition.
Let's recognize our individual accomplishments no matter how small we think they may be. Let's recognize the amazing success of the women in our own community, whether they are career women, business owners, mothers or volunteers. Each one deserves to be honored for the individual way they touch our society.
In celebration of this occasion, take the time to nurture yourself. Health and vitality is a woman's greatest asset. We are our best when we feel our best so practice an act of self care today. Surrender any guilt and do something you love. If you need a reason, do it just because.
Let this day be a day of inspiration and possibilities.
What are you inspired to do? What goals and dreams do you have? In today's society, we are blessed with unlimited opportunities so there are no limits to what we can accomplish. The only limits are self imposed so ask yourself...what would I do if I knew I couldn't fail? Let your desires inspire you to take action. If fear sneaks in, remind yourself of the many amazing dreams that women before us have fulfilled.
Make this not only a day of personal inspiration, but ask yourself- who can I be a role model for - your child, a friend, a co-worker? We all can BE a mentor and we all NEED a mentor-someone who can aspire in us our very best. So, let us be mentors in our communities, in our workplaces and most of all, in our relationships. Let's bring out the best in each other.
As we take part in our own celebration of International Women's Day, may we also make this a day of hope, reflection and prayer. May we remember the many countries whose women do not have the same opportunities or place in society that we are so blessed to have.
Let's make this a celebration where we build each other up, where we support, not judge , where we praise, not criticize and most of all, where we appreciate.
Appreciate the women in your life, the opportunities that lie before you, the people who love and support you, the community that offers such beauty and freedom but most of all, appreciate YOU. You are the reason this day was created. Cheers to you!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
What Are Binaural Beats?
I first learned about Binaural beats after looking for a way to help my mom get to sleep and stay asleep. She complains almost everyday about having problems. Of course the doctor prescribed pills, but that isn't the way to go.
According to Wikipedia:
The easiest way to stimulate the brain is via the ears. Hearing these beats in different frequencies in both left and right ear do not mix together and are not processed until in the brain. So these binaural beats in generated sounds can alter your brainwaves
After reading up on this, it intrigued me to see what actual benefits can be had from altering your state of mind using these 'beat' recordings. Brainwave entrainment is used in the treatment of depression, low self-esteem, attention deficit disorder, drug and alcohol addiction, autism, alleviating headaches and migraines, insomnia to name some. And then some additional benefits include: good moods,feelings of euphoria, inner peace, total relaxation, clarity. So, by slipping on the headphones and letting the beats work the brain, you can sit back and reap the benefits.
Sound to good to be true? I don't know. I ordered two CD's. One total relaxation CD for my mom and The Digitial Drug CD for myself. We'll see when they arrive how true this all is. I'll keep you updated. I'm hoping this does exactly what is claims. I already know which CD I want next. The Power Siesta, which allows you to achieve a deep sleep in a half hour, but your body thinks it's been sleeping for 3 hours. hmmmm, after a late night, or interrupted sleep, this is something I could use.
Has anyone used these binaural beats?
Learn more by going HERE
Self-Help and Development Web Sites
According to Wikipedia:
Binaural beats or binaural tones are auditory processing artifacts, that is apparent sounds, the perception of which arises in the brain independent of physical stimuli. This effect was discovered in 1839 by Heinrich Wilhelm Dove. Binaural beats may influence the brain in more subtle ways through the entrainment of brainwaves and can be used to produce relaxation and other health benefits.
The easiest way to stimulate the brain is via the ears. Hearing these beats in different frequencies in both left and right ear do not mix together and are not processed until in the brain. So these binaural beats in generated sounds can alter your brainwaves
After reading up on this, it intrigued me to see what actual benefits can be had from altering your state of mind using these 'beat' recordings. Brainwave entrainment is used in the treatment of depression, low self-esteem, attention deficit disorder, drug and alcohol addiction, autism, alleviating headaches and migraines, insomnia to name some. And then some additional benefits include: good moods,feelings of euphoria, inner peace, total relaxation, clarity. So, by slipping on the headphones and letting the beats work the brain, you can sit back and reap the benefits.
Sound to good to be true? I don't know. I ordered two CD's. One total relaxation CD for my mom and The Digitial Drug CD for myself. We'll see when they arrive how true this all is. I'll keep you updated. I'm hoping this does exactly what is claims. I already know which CD I want next. The Power Siesta, which allows you to achieve a deep sleep in a half hour, but your body thinks it's been sleeping for 3 hours. hmmmm, after a late night, or interrupted sleep, this is something I could use.
Has anyone used these binaural beats?
Learn more by going HERE
Self-Help and Development Web Sites
Thursday, January 10, 2008
How To Look Good Naked
Has anyone watched the new show on Lifetime TV, ‘How to Look Good Naked’? Ladies, if you are able to view Lifetime TV in your area, I suggest watching this show.
I was impressed with how Carson (the host) gives women confidence, overcome insecurities and allows a woman to see the distorted perceptions we have of our own body.
Carson has one women (the make over woman) go through 5 steps.
Step one: The dreaded full length, tri mirror. She’s dressed in only undergarments. UGH! We all hate the mirrors, but in this process, Carson gives you a reality check. We may not be perfect, but we are beautiful. We have to love what we have and who we are.
He then shows a huge picture of this make over woman, plastered on the side of a building wall, on a busy main street. Asking the people passing by how this woman looks. All comments were complimentary…nice arms, legs, breasts…etc….However, even after hearing these comments, this woman still insisted she was ‘fat’, still only saw the imperfections. She didn’t accept compliments very well.
He also had 5 woman dressed in undergarments in a line up. Their size ranged from small to large. He asked the make over woman to place herself between the two women she felt she matched closer in hip/size dimensions. She placed herself at the end between the two woman considered larger. It turned out; she was actually sized after the first woman in the line…much smaller. Our perceptions really do play an important role in how we view ourselves.
Step Two: The procedure in picking the correct undergarments. I was amazed the difference in appearance this can make. The stat revealed that 95% of women are not wearing the correct undergarment. Wow…
Step Three: Correctly picking the appropriate clothing to accent what we have. How this can show confidence is an eye opener! There were 3 pictures of 3 women wearing 3 different styles of clothing from the neck down. He asked his “make over girl” to look at the pictures and describe each woman. She was asked based on the clothing, which woman weighed less to more. The make over woman has decided the one in this black dress looked confidant and weighed less than the other 2 women in the pictures. Well, In the end, it is revealed to you that the 3 pictures are all of the same woman. This floored me the most.
Carson then takes his makeover woman on a shopping spree. As she is being dressed in the appropriate clothes, you can actually see this woman’s attitude change; she held her head higher, smiled more, held her posture more erect. The tips you hear are something we all can learn from.
Step Four: The make over woman gets just that. New hair style which does make a difference, she is pampered and she feels beautiful. How many of us forget or make the time to pamper ourselves. Ladies: I know I will now set time aside for ME and pamper myself. It really does make you feel better.
Step Five: After all these steps, Carson had this woman pose naked. This woman was a changed woman. Confidence, self assured, beautiful, loved herself and everything she has. No more perceptions. It was wonderful! Seeing her in those pictures, one might think that wasn’t the same woman at the beginning of the show. Carson again plastered a huge picture of the woman (now naked) on the side of the building. She was hearing comments like…she’s hot.
I hope more woman watch this show. I commend Lifetime for having another show directly geared toward helping woman love themselves, imperfections and all.
Even though this make over woman had experienced help by Carson, it allows you to see each step. You can take the information, tips and examples to widen your eyes to how you perceive yourself, how to gain confidence and how to love yourself.
Great show and looking forward to Friday to learn and see more.
I was impressed with how Carson (the host) gives women confidence, overcome insecurities and allows a woman to see the distorted perceptions we have of our own body.
Carson has one women (the make over woman) go through 5 steps.
Step one: The dreaded full length, tri mirror. She’s dressed in only undergarments. UGH! We all hate the mirrors, but in this process, Carson gives you a reality check. We may not be perfect, but we are beautiful. We have to love what we have and who we are.
He then shows a huge picture of this make over woman, plastered on the side of a building wall, on a busy main street. Asking the people passing by how this woman looks. All comments were complimentary…nice arms, legs, breasts…etc….However, even after hearing these comments, this woman still insisted she was ‘fat’, still only saw the imperfections. She didn’t accept compliments very well.
He also had 5 woman dressed in undergarments in a line up. Their size ranged from small to large. He asked the make over woman to place herself between the two women she felt she matched closer in hip/size dimensions. She placed herself at the end between the two woman considered larger. It turned out; she was actually sized after the first woman in the line…much smaller. Our perceptions really do play an important role in how we view ourselves.
Step Two: The procedure in picking the correct undergarments. I was amazed the difference in appearance this can make. The stat revealed that 95% of women are not wearing the correct undergarment. Wow…
Step Three: Correctly picking the appropriate clothing to accent what we have. How this can show confidence is an eye opener! There were 3 pictures of 3 women wearing 3 different styles of clothing from the neck down. He asked his “make over girl” to look at the pictures and describe each woman. She was asked based on the clothing, which woman weighed less to more. The make over woman has decided the one in this black dress looked confidant and weighed less than the other 2 women in the pictures. Well, In the end, it is revealed to you that the 3 pictures are all of the same woman. This floored me the most.
Carson then takes his makeover woman on a shopping spree. As she is being dressed in the appropriate clothes, you can actually see this woman’s attitude change; she held her head higher, smiled more, held her posture more erect. The tips you hear are something we all can learn from.
Step Four: The make over woman gets just that. New hair style which does make a difference, she is pampered and she feels beautiful. How many of us forget or make the time to pamper ourselves. Ladies: I know I will now set time aside for ME and pamper myself. It really does make you feel better.
Step Five: After all these steps, Carson had this woman pose naked. This woman was a changed woman. Confidence, self assured, beautiful, loved herself and everything she has. No more perceptions. It was wonderful! Seeing her in those pictures, one might think that wasn’t the same woman at the beginning of the show. Carson again plastered a huge picture of the woman (now naked) on the side of the building. She was hearing comments like…she’s hot.
I hope more woman watch this show. I commend Lifetime for having another show directly geared toward helping woman love themselves, imperfections and all.
Even though this make over woman had experienced help by Carson, it allows you to see each step. You can take the information, tips and examples to widen your eyes to how you perceive yourself, how to gain confidence and how to love yourself.
Great show and looking forward to Friday to learn and see more.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Do You Fear Rejection?
My young co-worker has had his eye on a certain female for quite awhile now. We talk frequently about her and when I asked if he wanted to ask her on a date, he said...sure, but I'm not.
Why not I asked. His answer...because she might say no.
Well, I was blown away. Here is a confident young man in other areas of his life, but he's afraid he'll be rejected. I mentioned taking chances is what life is about. If you don't take a chance, you will live with the regret of never knowing...the what if's...
Rejection can come in many different ways. Rejection in romance, families, business, friends and even strangers. If the fear of rejection is such a big obstacle, what can you do about it?
Well, I think that if you have high self esteem, it isn't such a big deal if someone you asked out turns you down. If you have low self esteem, I think working on that area will help.You're still the same person you were before you asked. You actually gave the person you asked out a compliment just by showing you wanted to spend more time with them. You had the courage to ask someone out and if you get turned down, you're not going to die. Your life doesn't depend on the approval of this person.
If you get turned down once, twice or even more than that, there is certainly a chance that someone else will say 'yes'...so keep positive. Sure it can be disappointing or even discouraging, but if you try not to take it personally, you'll see you can live through rejection. Maybe a person says 'no' for other reasons and has nothing to do with you at all. Rejection can actually turn you into a stronger, more confident and determined person instead of being weak or afraid.
Its all in your state of mind and how you view rejection. Looking at rejection as a negative will cause you to have negative feelings. Letting yourself look at things in a positive manner will keep you strong and ready for the next time you are ready to ask someone out. Take a chance...you never know until you do.
If anyone has any tips, stories to share on this subject, please leave a comment.
Why not I asked. His answer...because she might say no.
Well, I was blown away. Here is a confident young man in other areas of his life, but he's afraid he'll be rejected. I mentioned taking chances is what life is about. If you don't take a chance, you will live with the regret of never knowing...the what if's...
Rejection can come in many different ways. Rejection in romance, families, business, friends and even strangers. If the fear of rejection is such a big obstacle, what can you do about it?
Well, I think that if you have high self esteem, it isn't such a big deal if someone you asked out turns you down. If you have low self esteem, I think working on that area will help.You're still the same person you were before you asked. You actually gave the person you asked out a compliment just by showing you wanted to spend more time with them. You had the courage to ask someone out and if you get turned down, you're not going to die. Your life doesn't depend on the approval of this person.
If you get turned down once, twice or even more than that, there is certainly a chance that someone else will say 'yes'...so keep positive. Sure it can be disappointing or even discouraging, but if you try not to take it personally, you'll see you can live through rejection. Maybe a person says 'no' for other reasons and has nothing to do with you at all. Rejection can actually turn you into a stronger, more confident and determined person instead of being weak or afraid.
Its all in your state of mind and how you view rejection. Looking at rejection as a negative will cause you to have negative feelings. Letting yourself look at things in a positive manner will keep you strong and ready for the next time you are ready to ask someone out. Take a chance...you never know until you do.
If anyone has any tips, stories to share on this subject, please leave a comment.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
I'm Loving Myself
Many posts on this blog refer to females and how wonderful it is to be a woman.
I have mentioned self-esteem, the many ways we, as women are successful in both our personal and/or business life. I have spoken about our strength, our confidence, how we should and can stand on our own two feet by being educated, plus an array of other topics.
I just stumbled upon a site that promotes woman. Females can now make an expressive statement about who you love... "I'm Loving Myself" ... isn't that a wonderful statement? I love it!
Well, now you can make a statement by wearing your expression of loving yourself. Are you a successful business woman, recently graduated school, or simply loving yourself for who you are or goals you have accomplished?
Wear your own tee designed by Doheny Designs. This is a great way to remind yourself each time you put this shirt on.
More woman should love themselves.For the goals we accomplish, for the way we care and nurture others. I'm Loving myself is a great thing to tell yourself each and every day. Be accepting of who we are. No one is perfect and we all need to accept ourselves, flaws and all.
Show it to the world for all to see...Feel the pride of being a woman and all that we have to offer.
My friend who had second thoughts about going back to school, recently graduated and I now know exactly what I'm getting her for Christmas. A "I'm loving myself" tee especially for her because she should be so proud of herself and loving herself for her achievment.
Brought to you by Doheny Designs
Friday, September 21, 2007
One Flaw In Women
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have the compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT...THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have the compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT...
Thursday, August 9, 2007
SELF ESTEEM: Don't Let Anyone Take It Away ~ Conclusion
HOW SELF-ESTEEM WORKS
All of us have been conditioned to believe who we are by the words that have been said to us over the years by the people that we love, respect, and admired. If we were told positive things then we developed a high or positive self-esteem and the opposite is also true. If they told us negative things we developed a negative or low self-esteem. Basically, It develops by what is said to us repeatedly, over time- that's it , that's how it works.
is affected by the mind: The powerful mind ! The mind believes what it hears most. If you are constantly told negative things, the mind will come to believe them. It's that powerful !
If you are told over and over again that you are fat, ugly and lazy you will come to believe it. Remember the mind believes what it hears most. Well, the opposite is true . If you are told that you are thin , smart and beautiful, you will be ! The mind believes what it hears most! You can build your self- esteem with positive self dialogue.
Say positive affirmations daily, hourly, and constantly. Do it out loud to your self, in private , in the car, in the shower, etc....The mind believes what it hears most ! The mind only hears a voice, your voice or someone else's . It doesn't differentiate who is saying it. The mind only hears it . Say what you want your mind to believe about yourself and it will come to pass. Feed the mind positive talk and positive words and you soar to new heights. Repeat them regularly and often;never tire and don't stop doing it! You need to make it a way of life. You will see the positive outcomes.
All of us have been conditioned to believe who we are by the words that have been said to us over the years by the people that we love, respect, and admired. If we were told positive things then we developed a high or positive self-esteem and the opposite is also true. If they told us negative things we developed a negative or low self-esteem. Basically, It develops by what is said to us repeatedly, over time- that's it , that's how it works.
is affected by the mind: The powerful mind ! The mind believes what it hears most. If you are constantly told negative things, the mind will come to believe them. It's that powerful !If you are told over and over again that you are fat, ugly and lazy you will come to believe it. Remember the mind believes what it hears most. Well, the opposite is true . If you are told that you are thin , smart and beautiful, you will be ! The mind believes what it hears most! You can build your self- esteem with positive self dialogue.
Say positive affirmations daily, hourly, and constantly. Do it out loud to your self, in private , in the car, in the shower, etc....The mind believes what it hears most ! The mind only hears a voice, your voice or someone else's . It doesn't differentiate who is saying it. The mind only hears it . Say what you want your mind to believe about yourself and it will come to pass. Feed the mind positive talk and positive words and you soar to new heights. Repeat them regularly and often;never tire and don't stop doing it! You need to make it a way of life. You will see the positive outcomes.
STOP listening to negative talk from anybody about you. If you can't stop the talk then you need to leave! FAST !! and quick without explanation ! " I'm out of here" should be your mantra when this kind of negative talk occurs. Stop listening to negative talk and start your positive self - talk!
I know this will help - good luck !!
Your Friend , Lou De Lorca
If you have any questions or want help after reading this series, you can contact Lou directly. He is graciously giving his telephone number for my readers to use.
1-951-676-1299
Learn More about the Author: Lou De Lorca
THANK YOU Lou for being a guest here at A Circle of Women. I truly appreciate your contribution and I know this subject is one that is important to so many people...women, men, and children.
Many Blessings
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
SELF ESTEEM: Don't Let Anyone Take It Away ~ PART II
It's easy to lose your self-esteem, just remember" misery loves company ". There are so many people living a fake life. Out in the open these people appear to be happy and content, but behind closed doors they're monsters and vampires waiting to eat and suck the life right out of you ! They come in the form of friends, spouses, family members and significant others.
The irony about self-esteem is that it can only be affected negatively or positively by people who are close to us or that we care for dearly. We rarely consider any personal comment from a stranger or acquaintance much less take to heart. But, when someone we love, respect, or admire says something personal we take it to heart and allow it to affect us !!
These people have been conditioned to see things in a negative manner and basically their self-esteem has been effected at some point in their lives and now ,they want to share in the negative perspective. When you don’t, the arguments start and the PROCESS begins ! Arguments start over the choices you make, the colors you pick, the way you drive, comb your hair, look , feel , sleep, ETC....
NOW, we begin to justify ourselves by defending our positions and choices. This sets up the barriers and then, the lines are drawn - the battle for self-esteem is on !
An interesting point to note : the titles that people have , mom , dad , brother, sister , wife, husband, boy/girl friend , good friend, can put in question and affect what we consider and affect our self--esteem. When our spouses , family members and significant others personally attack us we listen, and consider it BECAUSE the MIND tells us to . We begin to question ourselves by the mere consideration of thinking that what they said might some merit - otherwise why would they have said it? It must be true since she/he loves me ; they wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true. YES they would !
Their motives can't be explained, but this is how they take your self-esteem , your core self ; when they make the negative remark and you consider it and then you act on it - they engaged you in a losing battle ! This is IMPORTANT ! Re - read it and understand it and then commit to memory.
You have options. You don't have to listen to it ; you don't have to consider it ; and you DON'T have to act on it. Remove the titles and then see them only as a voice in the wind without the title and what they say will mean nothing !! And It won't affect you.
Look for PART III on Friday
Learn More about the Author: Lou De Lorca
Monday, August 6, 2007
SELF-ESTEEM: Don't Let Anyone Take It Away
I am honored to have an acquaintance of mine be a guest here at A Circle of Women.
I will be bringing you a 3 post series focusing on Self -Esteem. I believe more women (and men) need to boost their self-esteem and have the confidence to be successful in their lives. To feel great within their own skin...love yourself and not allow ANYONE to take away your self-esteem.
I will be bringing you a 3 post series focusing on Self -Esteem. I believe more women (and men) need to boost their self-esteem and have the confidence to be successful in their lives. To feel great within their own skin...love yourself and not allow ANYONE to take away your self-esteem.
About the author: Lou De Lorca.
He lives in Temecula, California and is a Personal Life Success Coach. Over the last twenty years, he has studied humanities, education, personal improvement, leadership and instruction. He has worked with university research professors and top noted experts in the field of Meta-Cognition, Motivational Psychology, Business Leadership, and Personal Instruction, all of which are the basis for today's successful speakers, trainers and coaches.
He is the author of the Competent Writer and the creator and producer of the "Winning Life" audio series. He is also a professional inspirational speaker, motivational and leadership coach, a school reform expert and a consultant for the California Department of Education.
PART ONE:
Self - esteem is the main component of all that comprises the self - the YOU ! It's the essence of who you are. Self - esteem is the glue that holds everything together-that's why when you lose it you just seem to fall apart. And it's a downward spiral from there.
The study of self- esteem has volumes written about it but much of it is presented in a clinical format that makes it hard for the average person to understand- much less apply it. SIMPLY put self-esteem is basically how one feels about him/her self. Over the years one has encountered words and experiences that etched into our mind and our mind tells us how we feel about or we perceive ourselves; how we are, which eventually leads us to believe what we are capable of doing.
This is why self-esteem is so important . It permeates all aspects of our lives when it's depleted or gone - then our direction , perspectives and images are distorted , or dissolved. When this occurs one becomes or falls into something of the unknown. When someones self-esteem has been negatively affected or depleted a downward spiral occurs and the person becomes a victim and continues to fall until they are no longer the same person that we once knew. These victims fall prey to drug abuse , lethargy, abusive relations , and ultimately WORTHLESSNESS !
I use the term " victim " specifically because that is what people without self-esteem truly become . Anyone with low self-esteem or no self-esteem are candidates to nowhere and fast ! They are no longer the same people , and their sense of worthlessness becomes a self- fulfilling prophesy. It continues to feed itself from there.
Part II will be posted on Wednesday
More on Lou De Lorca
He lives in Temecula, California and is a Personal Life Success Coach. Over the last twenty years, he has studied humanities, education, personal improvement, leadership and instruction. He has worked with university research professors and top noted experts in the field of Meta-Cognition, Motivational Psychology, Business Leadership, and Personal Instruction, all of which are the basis for today's successful speakers, trainers and coaches.
He is the author of the Competent Writer and the creator and producer of the "Winning Life" audio series. He is also a professional inspirational speaker, motivational and leadership coach, a school reform expert and a consultant for the California Department of Education.
PART ONE:
Self - esteem is the main component of all that comprises the self - the YOU ! It's the essence of who you are. Self - esteem is the glue that holds everything together-that's why when you lose it you just seem to fall apart. And it's a downward spiral from there.
The study of self- esteem has volumes written about it but much of it is presented in a clinical format that makes it hard for the average person to understand- much less apply it. SIMPLY put self-esteem is basically how one feels about him/her self. Over the years one has encountered words and experiences that etched into our mind and our mind tells us how we feel about or we perceive ourselves; how we are, which eventually leads us to believe what we are capable of doing.
This is why self-esteem is so important . It permeates all aspects of our lives when it's depleted or gone - then our direction , perspectives and images are distorted , or dissolved. When this occurs one becomes or falls into something of the unknown. When someones self-esteem has been negatively affected or depleted a downward spiral occurs and the person becomes a victim and continues to fall until they are no longer the same person that we once knew. These victims fall prey to drug abuse , lethargy, abusive relations , and ultimately WORTHLESSNESS !
I use the term " victim " specifically because that is what people without self-esteem truly become . Anyone with low self-esteem or no self-esteem are candidates to nowhere and fast ! They are no longer the same people , and their sense of worthlessness becomes a self- fulfilling prophesy. It continues to feed itself from there.
Part II will be posted on Wednesday
More on Lou De Lorca
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