WASA Big Idea? Part 4

Get the backstory: Part One here, Part Two here. Part Three here.

This could be the final installment in the gripping WASA saga unless something INSANE happens. But for now, just a post-op report.

It's been a couple of weeks since WASA's Plumbing Berserker perforated a bowel and caused much yelling en español (see part three for details). Since then, nothing has exploded, we haven't died from lead poisoning, and everything seems wonderful. Our tap water doesn't taste like the distilled tears of Heaven's purest angels or anything, but then, we'd have to move to Juneau to get that.

(Alaska Tourist Bureau, that'll be $500 please)

One good thing about WASA's finish is the full re-patch in the sidewalk (photo above), where they had chipped away the cement to access the public water meter. Some similar WASA action must have happened years ago, since that area of sidewalk was broken away and infested with weeds and ugliness when we moved in. It's good to see the lads cleaning up after themselves this time.

As previously reported, they are laying new grass seed in front yards where the test-pits were dug. They're also seeding the turf on the public side around the meter (note the odd protective blondie-fiber wig thing in top photo). So by summer's end, the street might actually look decent.


And there's real actual living grass popping up. Hooray for the little green people.

Early on, there was some concern about our retaining walls but as far as I can tell, no damage was done. Several of our neighbors' walls have been leaning and bulging precariously for years. Ours is no worse than before.

BUT, one huge fix remains: Our block is now riddled with about a dozen exposed concrete pits in the street, where the steel plates had been. It makes driving that block something of an ugly obstacle course. If the job is truly done, could we please have a fresh skin of asphalt? Pleeeez? WASA? DOT? Dept. of Public Works? Somebody?

Admittedly, part of me wants them to keep the pitted street as-is: it's done a great job of slowing down the speed-freaks (I'm looking at you, bastard-faced Maryland licence plates heading out to PG County during afternoon rush at about fifteen million miles per hour).

Anyway: Now, the war-zone has moved on and WASA is busy turning the 700 block of Irving Street NW into a noisy cloud of dust. Good luck, neighbors. All is not lost. Just watch them suckers if they need to do the job in your basement. Have towels handy.

WASA Big Idea? Part 3

Possible subtitle:
On The Rag with the DC Water and Sewer Authority

Get the backstory: Part One here, Part Two here.

In Part 2, it was revealed that we did have lead pipe in the feed from the street to the house: In the photo above is the test-pit WASA dug in the front yard to discover this. So we scheduled with WASA's contractor to replace the offending metal. Awesome. The missus and I took the day off to supervise.

And at precisely 8am, they came: Mercenaries of doom with their implements of destruction, heading down to the basement to do great things.

First of all, I admit... our basement is a work in progress. I've been turning it into a double studio (graphic design and music recording) as well as a groovy lounge area... a true DUDE's room. It reeks of nag champa and good music and books and funky awesome vibes down there. But it's a work in progress. Lots of STUFF still to organize. Papers and boxes and cables and books and all manner of things.

It was quite a task to move all that STUFF away from the street-side wall of the basement to give WASA room to do their work. But I was able to clear out a full one-third of the total floorspace. I gave them much more room than they needed, not to be NICE, mind you: just being paranoid about my STUFF getting covered in dust, getting stepped on, etc.


Good move. The brick-drilling device was insanely loud and raised an unholy cloud of red dust which billowed around, lighter than air. A lot of my sensitive equipment was protected under sheets, so it seemed everything was going to be JUST FINE.

I had carved a path through my pile of STUFF to the Mac at the other end of the basement, so I could keep half an eye on the guys and do some work at the same time. I was even getting used to the ear-splitting noise of the machines.

And then a new sound: Crazed shouting (en español) out the basement window to some other worker. He sounded both panicked and angry. Now, my spanish isn't just rusty, it's completely dissolved. I took 2 years of Spanish in high school but of course, it's long since fallen out of my brain. Today, my Spanish consists of, maybe, the days of the week and, on a good day, I can ask to be directed to a bathroom. Or a beer. Depends on the priorities of the moment.

So I looked towards the shouting just in time to see a giant wave of red soil-water flowing through the hole in the brick wall, covering the floor like a rushing tide, towards my sacred pile of STUFF.

Holy shit, señor.

It would seem that their "mole" (that would be the Porta-Mole, an earth-boring machine) had punctured the bit of pipe behind the closed valve, causing a full-force leak of city water to flood the new hole and thus, the basement. The best comparison would be getting a perforated bowel during a colonoscopy procedure... oopsie!

The water keeps coming. Worker guy runs back to the basement window and shouts more words in hyperspeed Spanish, sounding more panicked, more angry. Eventually the flow stops. Meanwhile, I've grabbed all absorbent items I can find; towels, blankets, etc., and have fashioned a barrier which saturates with the filthy stuff instantly.

Back to the window, more shouting. A pair of hands appears from outside, shoving in a bucket and some rags. Another guy comes in, and all three of us enjoy a silent half hour of bonding over a floor. And a bucket. And a pile of rags.


Luckily, I was able to build my mountain of STUFF without anything valuable on the bottom. So, miraculously, nothing critical was destroyed. From the beginning, I've designed this basement with the expectation that it WILL flood some day. Doesn't every basement eventually have a flood?

If anything had been damaged, I'd certainly be all over the foreman and working out a cut (or total waiver) of the cost of this operation. Anyway; on with the show.


The shiny new pipe was threaded, welded, sealed, whatever, and all workers disappeared in a flurry of motion. The site supervisor came by to inspect the work, and he explained their little mishap. I had never heard of a "mole" in equipment terms. I was half-believing this was the work of an underground rodent creature that could puncture hundred year-old lead pipe with its teeth.

A 'mole' eh? You don't say...

So now, like the shell-shocked combat veteran that gets twitchy when a helicopter flies over, I may FREAK OUT whenever I hear somebody shouting in Spanish. It may be years from now, when this event is long forgotten. I'll pass some dude screaming in Spanish, and I'll suddenly be compelled to grab blankets and rags for no reason...

WASA Big Idea? Part 2

Last month, I began an intense document of DC WASA's project to replace the lead water-service pipes on our block, as an almost tongue-in-cheek service piece for others in the neighborhood. See the first installment here.

Since then, I haven't reported on it because WASA's creep down Irving Street has been very slow indeed. As soon as we thought they'd get to us, they switched sides of the street. But now they are upon us. The destructo-hoarde has arrived!

The scene above is the view from the porch, taken yesterday morning.

While WASA is dealing with the lead pipe on the city's side, homeowners have elected (or not) to allow a selected contractor to handle the private-property side of the feed.

This involves having a 5'x5' pit dug in the front yard, where the contractor can check the pipe: if it's lead, they replace it. That involves more digging and a bit of destruction to the basement interior wall, where the feed enters the house. If it's not lead, they fill the hole and move on.

So far, it seems many of the homes on our block have not needed the full treatment. And I'm happy to see them seeding new grass after patching the hole.


Here's one nice thing (photo): WASA was able to excavate the public-side meter under the sidewalk without destroying the humble wood-frame flowerbox that M put in this year. It was an ugly little patch of grass before; a place for collecting discarded vodka bottles and filthy scraps of street weirdness. But it was much improved with a few shrubs from Home Depot and some scrap wood to frame it. The shrubs haven't fared well with winter and being walked on, but hell, it's something. And with luck, it may survive the WASA project.

As I write this, a freaking gigantic truck-sized jackhammer crane thing is pounding the hell out of the street outside the front door. The dog believes The Apocalypse Is Here Now. And who am I to argue?

NOTE: Two of the workmen just asked to check the inside, where the water feed enters the basement. They say they've been "missing" the pipe junctions with their 5'x5' test-pits and want to make sure they're digging in the right spot. So if you're looking at this wall of destruction approaching your place, fair warning: they'll likely need to check your basement without advance notice. Wait, that's a knock at the door. Just a minute:

DC WATER AND SEWER AUTHORITY,
THE ENVELOPE PLEASE.......................

Well, it appears that we DO have lead pipe leading into the house. So we'll get the full treatment, including a bit of home invasion next week and a 2'x3' hole cut into the interior drywall to allow them to do whatever surgery needs to be done.

The drama continues. Tune in next time, when we puzzle over what the hell to do with the dog while all this chaos is going on. Exciting, innit?

WASA Big Idea? Part 1

Blogging encourages a certain level of hyper-local reporting. And starting today, Intangible Arts will beat the SNOT out of the idea, drilling the idea of "hyper-local" down to a single block of Irving Street NW, between Georgia Avenue and Warder Street.

The reason is simple: The DC Water and Sewer Authority will be transforming this block into a war-zone for nearly three months, as part of their program to replace lead service pipes. And the photo-ops will be many, since Intangible Arts HQ is right in the middle of it.

WASA appears to be doing this in a block-by-block sweep across certain areas affected by lead pipes. And so I figured: maybe someone in the area is still waiting for this to go down on their block, and might dig hearing about it beforehand. Because we certainly had questions. And still do.

The idea is, simply, to replace any lead pipes up to the boundary of private property. But WASA has provided access to a contractor to handle the homeowner's side of the pipe. Que convenient! We opted for this as well. The full monty. Bring it on.


We were given early notice of this project months ago, with only the vague warning that AT SOME POINT, we'll be given 48 hours' notice before the destruction begins. And that notice arrived last Friday.

A trench will be dug (presumably along the public sidewalk) to reveal the main service pipe, and individual 5'x5' test-pits will be dug at each rowhouse unit to determine what sort of pipe is down there. So say goodbye to those day-lilies, hostas, or that festive ragweed garden you've been tending for years...

There will be blood.

This weekend, the trees along Irving Street were caged in bright orange safety-mesh, and a plague of equally bright orange traffic-cones appeared, ready for action. It seemed amusing, since the city just planted those trees recently. Clearly there's a lack of communication between divisions here.


The tone here may sound cynical, but this is actually a good thing. Theoretically, once the service pipes are all lead-free and consist of the same (or similar) metals, our first blast of tap-water in the morning should NO LONGER smell like Satan's own leftover egg salad. And that will be a joyous day in Intangible Land.

So, stay tuned: This is merely the introduction to what should be a freakin' fascinating series. If you had fun watching the grass grow, watching paint dry, or meditating on TV static, buddy, you ain't SEEN real fun yet. Updates will follow. Oh yes they will.

It's all WASA under the bridge now...

Irving Street NW: Just a quick update to a previous Intangible rant about the huge WASA sign staying up for nearly a year after a dig project was completed...

To be fair, this update is late. The sign was removed only a week after calling WASA. I was impressed.

It's like....a whole new street now...

The only downside is, on March 18, we would've hit the one-year mark: a full year after the completion of the project. If we hit that date and the sign was still there, I was planning to festoon the sucker with all manner of helium balloons and streamers and nutty whatnot. Birthday party stuff.

But the prompt efficiency of the DC Water and Sewer Authority ruined the party by doing the right thing. So, uh, hooray and blast their damned hides...

WASA matta you?

Eleven months after the valve replacement project was completed, DC Water & Sewer Authority's super-gigantic friggin' metal sign is still with us. It blocks the view of oncoming traffic from the alley onto Irving Street, and gives local taggers a convenient surface to practice their seizure-scribbles.

WASA has been suffering some pretty nasty publicity, from malfunctioning fire hydrants to apocalyptic levels of lead in the water supply, to bills threatening to turn over budgetary control to the city's CFO, etc... In 2007, it seemed the agency couldn't do much without pissing in its own water bowl, so to speak.

So I was expecting a whirling madhouse of incompetent boobs when I called WASA to finally ask them to take that goddamned sign away. I was even prepared to volunteer to do the deed myself, claiming that I could use it to decorate my basement. (haute industrial trash?)...


But nope, everyone was perfectly genteel on the phone, and promised to have the offending thing carted away with all due swiftness. Egad, I didn't even spend time on hold. It was as if they knew exactly what to do, and how to do it(?)

We shall see, citizens. Synchronize your watches...