Day 238: Self Discipline - Where did it go?

 

A very important part of this process is Self-discipline – Without it self-change is nearly impossible. Without self-discipline you will always give into any resistance you feel and thus you never actually change.

It’s a hard thing to change yourself. With every change there will be resistance. With every task that you do not “feel like” doing there will be resistance. This is why self-discipline is necessary, because whenever there is something you should be doing, but do not feel like doing, without some level of discipline you will always give into the resistance. There will always be the one thought that will justify your choice not to do the task.

Unfortunately that is how this works. I can take myself as an example here. When I first started working with my hands around the farm I had big resistance towards it. Eventually I realized the importance of why this particular tasks needs to be done and so I did it regardless of how I felt about it. So what I basically did was pushed through resistance I felt and simply did the task. I did the task with the understanding that it needed to be done. Through the years of working with my hands I developed self-discipline and found it supported me in that regard.

Now it’s been a long time since my primary focus was working with my hands. Since my thyroid went haywire I was unable to do anything physical so I had to refocus my attention and time towards other things and this made me realize something new about self-discipline.

Once you have Self-discipline it is something you have to apply consistently in your daily life. It does not magically take away the resistance when you do something you do not like doing. The resistance still comes up, but then applying discipline you push through it and do the task no matter how you feel about it or what thoughts seems valid enough to keep you from doing it. When you decide to allow that one thought that will keep you from doing the tasks at hand (or in other words give into the resistance) then you don’t have that discipline anymore.

As you work through resistance you start to see just how far you will go to give into the resistance. All kinds of thoughts comes up: ‘’I’ll do it later” ,“ I had a long day”,” I’m tired”, “ I need a break and time for myself”, “ I do not have time for this” etc. That last one is a big one, because 99% of the time you do actually have time for it, but would rather use the time do something you like.

I used allot of excuses before not to do something. And today I had a look at the point of blogging, really went deep to try and find an actual valid answer to why I am not blogging more regularly? Sure, there were reasons, but none of which could truly justify it. There comes a time in life where all that’s left to do is to say: “Screw IT! I’m doing this!! Right now!!!” and then do the thing until it’s done. And my time is right now. I know I have been absent in the “bloggersphere”, that changes now.

IF there are others who are facing the same issue – where you have a big resistance towards something you should be doing – look at the reasons and thoughts. Really look deep and see for yourself that none are valid and that there is actually time. It’s time to simply say: Till here no further, Screw the resistance. I’m doing this. Right now.

Day 53 - The ''I Don't Know'' Character

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the done know character to suit my needs

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when i look wit hin myself to find the source of a point and i say i do not know then it is me not wanting to see the point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I write or look at something to write I go into character and the say I do not know what to write

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that i created this character and that i created the point of not knowing from not wanting to face myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to claim ignorance and say I did not know that i am creating all this - even though the proof is all around me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to take self responsibility by stopping this character and to start pushing through the resistance and get to the points and stop claiming ignorance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this character as a defensive mechanism to protect my ideas of myself who I believe I am - not realizing that who i believe i am is not real

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that all i am is characters that i created based on my environment, parents and media and that I decide nothing and have no say in what I do and that these characters directs my life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let go of these characters so that I can become real and self directed and longer be controlled by my beliefs and ideas that only harm life and are based on self interest

I commit myself to delete the i don't know character

I commit myself to realize that i do know and that it is me not wanting to push through the resistance to face the point im working on

I commit myself to realize that I can never run out things to write about because of the magnitude of the problem we face on this world that represents what is going on inside of me

I commit myself to take self responsibility by stopping to claim ignorance and start acting

I commit myself to become real and stop ignoring the problem we face in this and find ways to stop it

I commit myself to dedicate myself to stop and delete all my characters so that i can become real and self directed

I commit myself to stop the belief and idea of who i am and to see that it is not real

Day 47 - Suffering exist if postponement exist

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create the postponement character to suit my own needs

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to out of my resistance create this character as an excuse not to do something

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by this character that it controls me in delaying what im doing

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to allow the resistance within myself to direct me and who i am by postponing that which is important

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that postponing tasks will only affect me and nobody else

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that what i am doing is taking  self responsibility so that suffering and abuse can end and that cant end if i postpone

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if i postpone standing for life then all the suffering and abuse that exist today will exist for longer

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the decision i make to postpone I accept the suffering and and abuse in the world

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to take self responsibility and stop postponement and in that stop the suffering and abuse in this world

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to delete this character that allows the suffering to continue just because i face resistance and not allowing myself to push through the resistance

I commit myself to delete the character of postponement

I commit myself to stop using the ''ill do it some other time excuse''

I commit myself to do what i set out to do no matter what

I commit myself to take self responsibility by stopping delaying standing for life - because the longer i wait the longer the suffering and abuse exist

I commit myself to rather choose not to accept the abuse of this world by choosing not to postpone myself to become effective in changing it

I commit myself to stop being directed by thoughts feelings and emotions but to self directive in doing what needs to be done

I commit myself to realize that if i do nothing then nothing will happen so its up to me to go through the process of actual change - because if i change then the world changes

Journey to Life Day 36 - Writers Block - what do to?

 

If you don't know what to write about then write about not knowing what to write about and why you don't know what to write about

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not know what to write about - not realizing that I am resisting to write and in that resistance I subconsciously get a blank head and don't know what to write about

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to block out all point that need direction to make myself believe that i have nothing to write about

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give into this resistance and not write instead of pushing through the resistance and write regardless

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i have nothing to write about - not realizing that its an excuse so that I don't have to face the resistance.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to write regardless of the resistance and that I give up and not follow through

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that not knowing what to write about is me not wanting to face a point and not wanting to walk through  a point

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to block out all point that need direction to make myself believe that I have nothing to write about

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that there are many many points to write about so the excuse there is nothing to write about is invalid.

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to block out all point that need direction to make myself believe that I have nothing to write about

I commit myself to not use the excuse that I don't have anything to write about, and the excuse that I don't know what to write about.

I commit myself to see that there are many points to face and to write about so there is no excuse

I commit myself to then face the resistance head on and to write regardless

I commit myself to stop blocking out points so that I don't know what to write about - but to instead see that I am doing it and to then stop it so that I can write

I commit myself to realize that any point that comes up that keeps me from writing is an excuse - its a resistance and I commit myself to push through it so that I can write.