Priorities.

Well. It's Sunday.

After two days of training for Buffalo Wild Wings, I decided it was not in my best interest to work for this restaurant. Bartending is one of those dream jobs...but when I put all of October's going-ons on paper? It was depressing and trigged a few not so welcome anxiety attacks. I'm too busy. I CAN'T do it all. So I'm living off my loans and a bit of money from the office job. I have time to work my last year of college and need to enjoy my last "goof-off" year. Spending today catching up on schoolwork. I need to stop FREAKING out about everything in life, I have time to finish school, I have time to make money and pay off my loans, I have time to do what I need to do. I need to stop being so anxious and try to enjoy life a little bit. Sheesh. I don't know how I talk myself into these predicaments.

I talk a lot about NASCAR (getting ready to watch the race as we speak) but I never talk about how much I like college football. University of Cincinnati for the FIRST TIME since the '50s is a ranked team and 5-0!!! They beat San Diego State last night and with all the higher ranked team upsets last night, I'm anxious for the AP Poll to come out.

Go Smoke, reigning champ. ;-)

2 Days and Counting

Two days until I am officially in college hell. I start my new job at Buffalo Wild Wings on Friday because 1. I'm desperate for money and 2. I'm desperate for something new. I can tack this to the list of things I said I'd never do in college yet ended up doing anyways which includes but is not limited to:

• Joining marching band
• Joining a sorority
• Get hooked on TV shows
• Drinking
• Smoking pot
• Stealing public property
• Sleeping with my ex
• Working two jobs

*Sigh* And to think once upon a time, I had principles. Now, I'm a marching sorority president with relationship issues who works two jobs and spends school nights at the bar while getting a thrill out of slightly illegal activities and has actual emotion invested in fictional television characters. Somehow, I feel hypocrisy is stamped on my forehead.

This leads to my list of responsibilites I have wracked up over the past 4 years...

• Full-time student
• Marching Band member
• Sorority President
• Two part-time jobs

Only four, right? Except all four have left me with no free time to the point where I have to schedule bathroom breaks.

What little integrity I have left disallows me to actually quit any of these activities. I'm too proud, too stubborn, and too invested. Why was I cursed with such a heart?

I also vowed never to whine. But, as you can see, that has fallen to the wayside via blogging. ;-)

Glass have empty...?

Maybe it's just my mentality. Maybe I need to change the way I think in order to change the way I live.

Or maybe, I'm too lazy.

Either way, something's gotta give.

I start my bartending training next Friday night. I'm excited but nervous as hell.

I wrote my first of many English papers for the quarter tonight. Not bad a'tall.

Barnes and Noble, you will be the death of me...or atleast my bank account.

Gotta Do It.

I had a very long day and as you can see, not in bed by 11:00 as I had hoped. But, I'm taking a break from the madness because I HAVE to. I have to write even if no one reads, I have to create, even if no one cares, I have to do the things that make me happy, even for a brief minute in time because it will keep me as sane as I can be. This makes me happy, blogging makes me happy. Even if my audience is small. I do appreciate the few people who read this thing. I hope that as the years go on, I get better at this and continue to write for myself.

I went to my first Buffalo Wild Wings meeting today where we got our training schedule. I'll be bartender ready in a week apparently. Am looking forward to this because it is not BAND.

I stood on that field tonight and wondered how I was going to survive the rest of this. Because, its maddening. I'm getting too old for this, my wrist and thumb are in a frickin brace because of the sax and I'd rather read Beowulf than march.

Lil E and the Amp/Guard 88...pleased with the 88, my jury is still out on the cars BUT to see the picture of him being so happy...works for me! :-) Oh, and hi to RC...thanks for stopping by. I am a big fan of your site and just recently got up the nerve to post on it. I know a lot more than most people about NASCAR but still feel ridiculous when I throw in my two cents like I'm going to say something that makes all the other fans go, "Duuhhhh."

Scheduling Potty Breaks

Even my bathroom breaks need to be fit into my hectic schedule...
I'm half way through day two of fall quarter and already I'm looking forward to Christmas break. With two jobs, marching band, sorority, and a full-time class schedule, I'm feeling the strain of having to schedule my day down to the last minute.

Today is a good example:
8:30 Wake up
9:30 First Aid/CPR Training
11:00 Lit Theory Class
12:30 Lunch/Communication Theory homework/Online Anthro class
3:00 Buffalo Wild Wings job meeting
4:00 Work
6:00 Band Practice
8:30 Exec/Joint Exec meetings
9:30 Brit Lit homework
11:00 HOPEFULLY bed

Gone is my power of spontaneity and now, I have to live my life down to a scheduled tee. I'm nervous, I'm worried and I'm sad that things like pleasure reading, knitting, and NASCAR must fall to the wayside for the time being.

I have one more year of this intense pressure, than my senior year will be a bit more laid back. I'm just scared I won't get it all done. There is no room for mistakes...

Prep Time

School starts tomorrow...my frickin fourth year of college. Which does NOT seem possible. This is equivalant to the time I spent in high school which also does not seem very possible. I 've noticed as of late, that time is starting to speed itself up. This is good since I am restless and would like to move into the next phase of my life (whatever that may be) but not so good in the aspect that I'm afraid of growing up. I think this is why I continue to take classes I don't neccessarily need to graduate so I can subconciously pro-long my time here even though conciously I need to GET OUT. I tell everyone it's because I love to learn. For example, I'm taking History of a Novel. I'm an English Ed major so this makes sense, and I also LOVED the teacher my freshmen year. But, I don't need it to graduate so I'm just wasting 3 credit hours? But, I'll enjoy the material AND it may be beneficial to my future as an English teacher (though not so beneficial if I become a theatrical make-up artist on Broadway or a NASCAR wife..my dreams, haha!) Will report which side gets the best of me and watch me change classes. I always pick my classes as early as possible, but when the quarter begins, I end up switching at least half of them. Go figure.

Going to buy my books and school supplies, getting things around for the first TBS meeting of the quarter tonight and participating in general mayhem and shenanigans. Crossing my fingers for a good year.

There's a 5 AM?

I was up at 5 AM because I am a slave to band. Ugh.

Trip to Miami of Oxford for football game.

Blah Mood.

After a brief interview on Monday, I am now an employee of Buffalo Wild Wings. I'll be bartending and serving which will add to my resume of random things: Ice Cream girl, janitor, secretary, babysitter. I might as well throw in prostitution, I'm running out of things to do.

I realize that the next 9 months of my life may just kill me. I'm a full time student with two part-time jobs, in the marching band and the President of a sorority. Atleast one beer has been consumed every night for the past week knowing full well, I may never be able to relax until June. But, we'll wait and see. If I hadn't tried for this job, I'd be angry with myself. I need the skillz to pay the billz. Word.

Am looking for a new home for the ferrets because they need more attention then I will ever have time to give them...poor guys. They're so sweet...

Our apartment is finally looking livable. Becca and Kristen tore the living room, bathroom and kitchen apart, and now we have clean. I forgot about clean...it's nice. Maybe it will motivate me to do something about this bedroom. Like, when pigs fly out of my butt, or something.

I have more "band camp" the next few days which leads into school next week. Band and sorority have been pains in my side for the past few weeks which is sad because I used to enjoy them so much. I'm so invested now, have to ride it out. But, I won't be crying next year when it's all over.

Gorgeous weather, but I'm in a "blah" mood.

Home Again

Dude. I'm back.

Two weeks of balls hot band camp in Indiana and I'm just exhausted. There were some good times, but at one point, I was so frusterated playing marching band kid and staff member at the same time that I broke down like a baby. It's difficult being so many things to so many people, especially when all you want to do is enjoy your last year having a good time. I didn't go to work Friday or Monday because I'm just so overwhelmed with life right now. I forget how much time I don't have for myself to do laundry or eat a decent meal or spend time with my friends. Last night I went over to where my friends now live across the street. We had walkie talkies and just ran around the neighborhood acting like complete idiots. It was such a throw-back to my childhood. All important houses now have Code Names (mine, Purple Thunder; their's, Big Red, etc) and all our code names correlate to movie titles. (I'm Talladega Nights...go figure.) Regardless, it was silly but I need to have times like those to keep me going during the rest of my sort-of grown up life. I can escape the busy schedules, the debt, the stressful job, the city pollution and heat, the burdens of adult-hood.

I watched the Chevy Rock and Roll race Saturday night...heartbroken for Jr. He raced so hard til the very end and had a fighting chance UNTIL HIS EFFING ENGINE BLEW. He just looked so defeated in his post race interview. No Chase for Jr...poor guy.

A little peeved at Gordon and Stewart, I realize they had their own butts to cover but come on. Jr is your future teammate/FRIEND. You could have given him a little reprive. Racing bastards...:-/

I have my second interview for a bartending job at the new BDubs on campus this afternoon. Crossing my fingers.

I may as well call it quits for a bit...until band camp stops consuming my life, I'll never do anything productive. So, I'm off again, I'll be BACK, I swear.

On a side note...all of my roommates are in their rooms with their boyfriends...and it really struck me how ridiculously single I am tonight.