Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell

The only thing that could entertain, distract and help me pass the idle time when sick last month was the audio version of Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell.

My memories of reading this book and watching the movie are pretty unremarkable.  Long film, beautiful costumes, strikingly handsome actors, memorable moments - like "Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn."  Escapist kind of story.  My kind of book.

Funny how are memories of a story

 can be so different from our impressions

 when coming across the same story around 40 years later.

It is probably next to impossible to find anyone who does not know this basic story ... but just to be safe, here is what Wikipedia provides in summary:

Gone With the Wind was first published in 1936. The story is set in Georgia during the American Civil War and Reconstruction Era.  It depicts the struggles of a young Scarlett O'Hara, the spoiled daughter of a well-to-do plantation owner,  who must use every means at her disposal to claw her way out of poverty following Sherman's destructive "March to the Sea."  As of 2014, a Harris poll found it to be the second favorite book of American readers, just behind the Bible.  It was adopted into a film in 1939.

I purchased the audio version of Gone With The Wind mostly because recently I purchased the Kindle sequel  Scarlett: The Sequel to Margaret Mitchell's Gone with the Wind by Alexandra Ripley.  I thought it would be good to reacquaint myself with the original story of Gone With The Wind before jumping into the sequel.  From what I read about the sequel - it was better than a TV movie they made.  I never saw the TV movie.

As a product of the later 20th and early 21st century thinking on race and equality - I had a slightly different response to this story than when I read it 40+ years ago.

Pluses:

• Written from the South's perspective, the story provided a fairly detailed account of how the South lived and thought at the time of our Civil War.
• While history books usually give a commanding detailed account of the battles and causes for this conflict, this story filled in the gaps in what it was like to live as a civilian during this war on our home soil.
• I have read and watched the movie of this story more than once.  This book is an example of a rare book that I will re-read.  I seldom re-read books.  
• It was a long, long, long story.  I love a long story and this one is herculean in its length.  The book did provide a deep understanding of character motivation - filling in the gaps that would be missed in the movie (movie running time: 3 hours, 45 minutes.)

Cons:

• The story is marketed as a Coming of Age story set in the Civil War and Reconstruction period.  I would argue that a 'Coming of Age' label should be based on character evolution - growth and maturity gained through life experience.  I don't think that happened.
• Scarlett O'Hara got on my nerves so badly that by the end of the story I was ready to kill that woman myself. (I know, I know, she's make believe, but you know what I mean.) Because this was the book and not the movie, I was witness to all her thought processes and priorities.  ALL of them!  She was so self centered, willful, and shallow.  For a woman with the intense drive and intelligence to survive and succeed in post war conditions, she was just plain stupid about everything else.  She never learned ANYTHING about life or how her actions were impacting others.  She never understood what was important in life until the very end of the story when she had lost everything that mattered.  Seriously, by the end I was happy to see her finally get what was coming to her.  I felt no sympathy or pity for this woman.  Maybe a small argument could be made that she was a product of a dying way of life and was hard wired to respond as she did - but there were other female characters who were the total opposite of her ...  who also were products of the same way of living.  I think Scarlett's lack of complexity as a flawed character is probably indicative of writing in the 1930s - when good guys all wore white hats and the bad guys were just as easily identified.  
• Details about slavery and the "darkies" was hard to swallow.  During the reconstruction - when slaves were 'set free' with no life experiences, training, or history of humane treatment ... beyond slavery, there were long passages about how bad the "darkies" were behaving now they were free.  My 21st century self couldn't help yelling (silently) that if the Black population had not been forcibly yanked from their native land and forced -  against their will under horrible inhuman conditions - to the American colonies as slaves - those 'bad behaviors' of the "blackies" wouldn't exist!  No where in the telling of the story did it mention that the white men created this terrible situation they were struggling with and paying the price for that decision through generations.  Our founding fathers foresaw this problem when creating this nation, but they could not get the slave states to support Independence from England without including slavery!  But to be fair,  the book was written in the early 1930s and a more evolved recognition of the seeds of race relations was not yet recognized. Even if it was recognized - it probably had no place in a story that was designed to share the culture of the time.
• So now I have the sequel to this book ahead of me - called Scarlett.  Guess who it is mostly about?  I am hoping that Scarlett's behavior reflects some sort of growth after 44+ hours of listening to Gone With the Wind.  The book will get my normal 80 pages or so to grab my attention and if not, it gets deleted off my Kindle.

I doubt I will read or listen to Gone With The Wind again.  I am pretty much done being aware of all Scarlett's thoughts.  I will borrow the movie from the library and watch it again.  The costumes, the beautiful people, the story ... they are still there, so it is worth another look.

The Accidental President

Harry Truman was my dad's favorite President.

Why is that note worthy to me?  My dad didn't express much interest in anything, but his job.   He mentioned very little about his past.  But he was a World War II vet as were most men of his generation.  He was with Patton's 3th Army in Europe, and he thought President Harry Truman was a great man.  He mentioned that more than once.  Seriously ... he had little to say about anything in his life so this repeated comment was something that remained with me.

Photo credit: Amazon

When I saw this audiobook, The Accidental President by A.I Baime, I couldn't resist downloading it.

Here is the Publisher's Summary:

• Heroes are often defined as ordinary characters who get thrust into extraordinary circumstances, and through courage and a dash of luck, cement their place in history. Chosen as FDR’s fourth term Vice President for his well-praised work ethic, good judgment, and lack of enemies, Harry S. Truman--a Midwesterner who had no college degree and had never had the money to buy his own home--was the prototypical ordinary man. That is, until he was shockingly thrust in over his head after FDR’s sudden death. During the climactic months of the Second World War, Truman had to play judge and jury, pulling America to the forefront of the global stage. The first four months of Truman’s administration saw the founding of the United Nations, the fall of Berlin, victory at Okinawa, fire bombings of Tokyo, the first atomic explosion, the Nazi surrender, the liberation of concentration camps, the mass starvation of Europe, the Potsdam Conference, the controversial decision to bomb Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the surrender of Imperial Japan, and finally, the end of World War II and the rise of the Cold War. No other president had ever faced so much in such a short period of time.

Truman followed in the footsteps of FDR who was and is a much loved and revered President.  Most citizens today know who lead our nation during WWII -  many Presidents had no major event during their tenure to mark their time in office and test their leadership skills.  At FDR's sudden death, Truman was thrust into a fire storm of world events that would try the abilities of any individual.

I think that anyone who knows history would agree that Harry Truman truly did face more challenging times than most Presidents.  As I listened to this book I began to see the scope of the events that Truman wrestled with using only his common sense and practical approach.   

President Truman has his haters and his supporters.  Haters to this day point to all the Japanese people killed by the Atomic bombs and the introduction of a new and fierce technology that would change our world  forever.  My dad was a supporter ... because in his words, Harry Truman saved the lives of hundreds of thousands of American soldiers from a certain death in an assault on the Japanese mainland.  Japanese people of that time, even civilians, would fight to the death in defense of country and the Emperor.  My dad was one of those soldiers scheduled to be re-assigned from the European theatre of war to the Pacific theatre.  My dad felt that Truman's decision to drop those Atomic bombs and end our war with Japan saved his life.  President Truman, the common man, was his hero.

Listening to this account of all the juggled considerations that went into President Truman's decisions - well, I am now a fan as well.  I would also argue that the development and use of the Atomic bomb was the goal of many countries at that time.  We just got there first.  President Truman inherited that Atomic bomb - and it was going to be used by somebody if not the US.  He took steps in its use that will always be controversial.  But he made the tough decision.  He truly was the common man - a regular citizen - thrust into history against his wishes - and who made a huge difference in the world.

I have read a lot about FDR and his wife Eleanor and now I have taken the time to get to know Truman.  I believe that history has shown over and over again, that the right person comes along ... at the right time ... to do the job that needs to be done.  As different as Franklin D. Roosevelt and Harry Truman were, FDR was the 'right man' to lead us during WWII and Harry Truman was that 'right man' to finish the job as we exited the war.  

Now we find ourselves facing different threats - external and internal and many self inflicted - but all just as serious and game changing as an Atomic bomb.  Sadly that technology has not stood still and our human ability to create destruction has grown to frightening levels.  I kind of hope there is someone 'waiting in the wings' - ready to step in and be the right person for our country and the world now - someone who will do the right thing at the right time - do the job that needs to be done.  Our current President is not that man.

I am hoping history doesn't fail us now.

I recommend this book.

Liberation, sort of

OK, 

I know this post is just a justification for my enormous stash of yarn

 amassed over the 21 years as a knitter!  

Truely, over those 21 years, I have chastised myself, inventoried, organized, chastised myself again, knitted with some, gave away some, bought some more, and collected some just because I couldn't walk away and not have a little of that beauty be mine ...  AND again chastised myself for this extravagance.

I am done with all that now! 

I own yarn.

I own a lot of yarn.

I will buy yarn again.

I own yarn that will outlive me

 because I can't possibly get it all knitted up before I die.

And
 to paraphrase our First Lady ...

I don't really care.

I have been liberated from all that self reflection and self criticism by a simple little book called A Stash of One's Own: Knitters on Loving, Living with, and Letting Go of Yarn, An anthology edited by Clara Parkes.

The synopsis:

• Anyone with a passion has a stash, whether it is a collection of books or enough yarn to exceed several life expectancies.  With her trademark wry, witty approach, Parkes brings together fascinating stories from all facets of stash-keeping and knitting life.  Whether the yarn stash is muse, memento, creative companion, career guide, or lifeline in tough times, the deeply engaging stories take a surprising and fascinating look at why we collect, what we cherish, and how we let go.

Yes, this is the book for me.  I think I can safely say that we are all collectors of some sort.   Some collect books, figurines, china, silverware, tools, jewelry, stamps, experiences, wine, steps (walkers with pedometers), kitchen equipment, music, games, baseball cards, travel mementoes, home canned veggies (admit it, you love seeing all those jars of canned tomatoes lined up), even beer cans!  Yes, beer cans.  During the 1970s we had a friend who had a wall display with all kinds of beer cans.  I don't think they even liked beer!

I think it is human nature to collect.

I have the actual book (not digital) in my small personal library of books.  I am the kind of person who writes in her books, uses stickers to find stuff again, dog ears pages and so on.  Some book collectors think that is a sacrilege to mar the book in anyway.  I hold a different opinion.  It shows this book was read, used, loved and important data highlighted for future reference.  It shows the book has function and value.  Isn't that what books are supposed to be?  A tool for knowledge.

Here are some quotes from this book that struck me (and my comments, of course.)

Essay: Stashers: Who the heck are we? by LelaNargi

• "What's the largest number of skeins anyone has tucked into their Ravelry stash? You will be either glad or very sorry you asked -- regardless, the owner is doubtless someone you'd like to cozy up to.  She or he is the proud stasher of 11,839 skeins of yarn; the next stasher in line has a still impressive 11,522 skeins in his or her collection."  
• I feel better all ready!  😁 I am no where near that level of collecting.

Isn't that beautiful yarn!
Well, let me tell you, it is a bear to knit with.
I have tried.  Now it is display/inspiration yarn!
Maybe someday I will find out exactly what it wants to be.

Essay:  Triptych by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

• "Most of my yarn is for knitting, but some of it has a more complicated destiny as support staff: It is there to make me want to knit.  You bet I've had it for ten years, and I completely admit that it's a yarn pet.  I have no intention of every knitting it, but it's earning the real estate it takes up with how it makes me feel about knitting.  It is the textile artist's equivalent of a painting hung on the wall.  It's there to be beautiful and to help me dream of possibility."
• This is so true.  The artistry of some fiber dyers and the technique of blending fibers to create a yarn can be truly genius by some mom-and-pop fiber vendors.  It is like going to a farmer's market and seeing the perfect tomatoes - all plump and red and without blemish - and you can almost taste them - and they wind up in your basket costing you more than the ones in the grocery store - but ... oh, so much better.  Same with yarn.  The yarn I sometimes buy costs more than what you get at Michael's or Joanne's, but it is oh so much better.  

One of three book cases!

Essay:  Fear Not by Sue Shankle

• "I am a mental health clinician.  Let's get this out in the open right away:  I do not think having a big ol' curated stash is a problem.  Does anybody believe that Michelangelo just decided to carve the David one day and went out and bought a big slab of marble?  Heck no.  He had that thing sitting around for a long time before he even started.  Because he had to look at it, play with it, and possibly sniff it before he started work.  He planned that stuff.  That's what we artists do."
• I so love and agree this comment.  In fact, I am contemplating a rather large crochet project right now (probably 6,000 yards of yarn) using materials from my stash - that I previously purchased for sweaters.  Loved that yarn on sight, never found the right sweaters, never had the time, but now this new project calls to me and this yarn has the potential of being perfect for the task.  (More on that project another time.)

See?  Art!
I haven't tried sniffing it yet. 😏

I haven't finished reading this book - only halfway through.  It is an easy book to pick up and put down because it is devided into essays of a few pages each.  But so far it has been worth the time, marked all up with quotes I thought meaningful to me and will remain in my library as a reminder.

What reminder?  

I am normal!!

The Pull of the Moon

Recently I have been cleaning out my Kindle of books I probably will never read.  Scanning the book summary of each book - and deleting a bunch of them.  Many were free and sounded interesting at the time I selected them.  But now they seem trite and repetitive.  Whatever was I thinking ... was the thought that passed my brain over and over.

And then I came to this title:

The Pull of the Moon

 by Elizabeth Berg

The publisher's summary read like this:

***

Uncomfortable with the fit of her life, now that she's in the middle of it, Nan gets into her car and just goes--driving across the country on back roads, following the moon; and stopping to talk to people.  Through conversations with women, men, with her husband through letters, and with herself through her diary, Nan confronts topics long overdue for her attention.  She writes to her husband and says things she's never admitted before; and she discovers how the fabric of her life can be reshaped into a more authentic creation.

***

This book has been waiting on my Kindle since 2015.  I read the summary and a little pull made me select it again - this time to read now.

As I read, I found myself relating strongly with Nan, the 50 year old woman who it seemed was having a mid-life crisis of some sort.  But early on I realized this was not a crisis at all.  It was a breaking out, a leap for freedom, a search of the self, ... a self she had ignored for so long.  Then a quote leaped off the page and pointed a finger straight at me.

***

"Most women are full to the brim.  I think we are most of us ready to explode, especially when our children are small and we are so weary with the demands for love and attention and the kind of service that makes you feel you should be wearing a uniform with "Mommy" embroidered over the left breast, over the heart. ... It wasn't that I was really unhappy.  It was the constancy of my load and the awesome importance of it; and it was my isolation. ... I see now, there were internal earthquakes wanting to happen all the time."

***

But, YES!  That was me.  Most of my adult life.  It was me.  Except the word I would substitute for the embroidered "Mommy" label would be "Caregiver."  Caregiver was not a life role I ever aspired to.  True ... I chose to be a parent - and wouldn't change that role ever!!  The reward for being a parent caregiver is the wonderful adult children I have today.  But the "caregiver" role continued to follow me.  First it was my husband's grandmother.  My husband was her only living relative.  Of course we would care for her.  Then it was my mother-in-law.  My husband had no other blood family but his mom, so yes I would care for her.  Then my own mother started to fail and she needed an advocate ... a caregiver!  A no brainer - my mom needed assistance and I could not turn away.  I never thought twice about that choice.  In fact, I never thought twice about any of those decisions.

Now I am 71, and I feel a 'short-timer' in my life.  Oh, I plan to live as many years as God intends, but to be frank and realistic,  I certainly have more years behind me - than ahead of me! In fact, my body tells me this is true.

My caregiving role, however, continues to haunt me even now.  My husband is now legally blind.  Going blind late in life makes becoming a 'skilled' visually impaired person, pretty darn hard.  He needs more of me now than ever.

The Pull of the Moon hit a major nerve for me.  I have actually thought about just getting in the car and driving away.  It has crossed my mind a lot more than I care to admit.  When the summary said Nan did just that ... drove away ... I thought - see, this isn't such an abnormal crazy thing to do.  Like Nan, I would not describe myself as unhappy.  But I do often feel that I am "full to the brim."  "Explode" also comes to mind at times.  In fact, I started this blog back in 2007 as a way to keep from exploding.  The words "constancy of my load" and "importance of it" and "isolation,"  ... well, folks, this book is me.

Do you ever feel the way Nan does?  Would you ever jump in the car and just drive off?  I won't, of course.  The hardship my absence for my husband and the worry it would cause my family would be too great a guilt for me to live with.   But I do fantasize about doing that. 

And that is all I would do - fantasize, because just jumping in the car at 71 and driving off is totally unrealistic.  Think of it - I would need to pack all my pills and eye meds, and ace bandages and cold wraps for my knee ... and my pillow. 😀 I would have to rent a trailer to pack all my knitting paraphernalia, of course!!! 😂😂😂  My computer, iPhone, Kindle and iPad need to come as well - with all the chargers. 😝😝😝😝😝. I can't eat a lot of restaurant food any more - heartburn, you know.  So I would have to pack a cooler!   😜😜😜😜😜😜😜 Ha!  Barriers everywhere!

Why didn't Nan have to do all that stuff?  Simple: she is only 50!!!!

*sigh*

Guess I missed my window of opportunity for this adventure.  So I am left with living vicariously through Nan.  My advice to Nan?  YOU GO GIRL!!!

I recommend this book.  Good writing, interesting story line, thoughtful observations and a really good  woman-to-woman book about our journey as females.

Coming Clean: A Memoir by Kimberly Rae Miller

Photo Credit: Amazon

Amazon Product Description:

Kimberly Rae Miller is an immaculately put together woman with a great career, a loving boyfriend and a beautifully tidy apartment in Brooklyn.  You would never guess that behind the closed doors of her family's idyllic Long Island house hid teetering stacks of aging newspaper, broken computers and boxes upon boxes of unused junk festering in every room - the product of her father's painful and unending struggle with hoarding.

In this dazzling memoir, Miller brings to life her experience growing up in a rat-infested home, hiding her father's shameful secret from friends for years, and the emotional burden that ultimately led to her suicide attempt.  In beautiful prose, Miller sheds light on her complicated yet loving relationship with her parents, which has thrived in spite of the odds.

I downloaded this audiobook out of curiosity, free with Kindle Unlimited.  It focuses on a mental condition that has been highlighted in the TV series The Hoarders.  The TV series - as with most shows that seek to obtain and maintain a viewing audience - showcases the most extreme cases of hoarding - always escalating the cases with each season.  I watched the show until it began to slip into animal hoarding and the sad state of the hoarder and the terrible outcomes for the animals they kept.  I couldn't watch any longer.  It greatly tore at my heart.  But when I found this book, I was drawn to it as it seemed to focus on the struggle and the love that this family had for each other - while dealing with this affliction.

I didn't expect such a sensitive and touching story.  The author reads this story in the audiobook.  Since it was her own story, I felt comfortable with her reading style. I felt compassion for her as she struggled to pull away from her upbringing while not abandoning her parents. Her supportive love for them was apparent.  The parents love for their daughter was equally demonstrated but it did not overcome the strong hold of hoarding behavior.  There is no simple resolution at the end of the story despite all their efforts, but acceptance, love and continued family loyalty provided a realistic ending to this memoir - something that was missing from all The Hoarders TV shows I watched.

I recommend this book to anyone who wants a better understanding of this mental problem.